dear anonymouses
the most important purpose of life, at least from my perspective, is to find yourself. after all, who are you supposed to be if you aren't yourself? everyone comes with their flaws, and everyone comes with their strengths. some people work better with others. others could never work with anyone. some people convince themselves that they'll always be one way and that they'll never change; other people simply say every other day that they're a changing person and they never do.
people can indeed change, though, but sometimes for the wrong reason or in the wrong way. actually, people are wrong more often than they are right, it seems. do we criticize people for being wrong too often? maybe. i guess the days are just made of more mistakes than they are made of the right decisions. right, left, up, down, wrong, right again... whichever directions we end up taking, whatever mistakes we end up making, whatever actions we engage in are what defines us. if someone parties all night for weeks on end, who's to say he isn't a alcohol addict? his actions define him. we're defined by our actions, not ourselves, not our thoughts. we make us who we are, shaping our essence in our hands, intentionally or not.
i wish that i could go and let my mind define me. i'm so much more than i am, thoughts and ideas and imagination and belief and trust and love and hope extending beyond my physical fingertips and into the night sky. i wish i could reach out with my mind and comfort everyone that i need to. i wish i could be everyone's superman, and lift them into the sky when they need it the most. i wish i could understand everyone on the level they need to be understood. when pain comes to surface, all that needs to be done for it to be released is for someone to understand the pain, for someone to understand the happiness, for someone to understand the love. isn't that what we all look for, when you're looking for love? you're looking for someone who can understand you, someone who's willing to understand you, and someone you can understand back.
but back to where i started. the most important thing to do in life is to find yourself. do you know who i am? probably not. at least, you don't know who i am as well as i do. you - yeah, all of you - see me based off of my actions. you identify my character traits as you see them. you judge me based on my words, my actions, my image, even. regardless of whether you want to or not, you do anyway, or else you haven't even tried to know who i am in the first place. i guess this is kind of why i wish i could break my own boundaries - i wish i could just show you all who i am without having to say it, because i can never say it right. i'll probably never be able to do it right. i'm just dreams of being superman, but i'm stuck in a body made of kryptonite.
that's not trying to say i think i'm above myself, because i don't. i'm not above you, or you, or you, or you, or anyone else. i'm your average, regular guy, but at the same time i'm limited. sometimes, i just don't know the words to help, despite how much i want to. the best i can do is assure you i'm there for you and that somehow things will change. i guess that's all i want to do with my life. i want to help people. i want to inspire people. i want to save people. i want to be a superman. i want to see people grow up to change the world in bigger and better ways. i want to be the reason why the world changes. i want to make people learn to understand, even if i can't myself.
i'll always try, though. i just wish i could do more than i can now. is that just a dream? maybe. we'll see, i suppose. some days, i can't understand even myself, and then other days it's crystal clear. sometimes you pronounce your thoughts, and they ring so clearly to me - sometimes you don't, and i never understand but i keep smiling and nodding my head. maybe someday i'll learn to ask you what exactly it was that you meant to say there. maybe that's why i can't understand.
i hope, someday, if i figure out how to understand, i'll teach other people how to do it, too. that way, we could all find what we really desire. could we find ourselves? maybe. we can find ourselves in other people, though, and that's when you see yourself clearest. let other people reflect your smile, and you'll understand why you smile the way you do.
your life is a reflection of your smile. let me make it happen.
dear anonymous
smile!