Dear Anonymous,
You promised me things were going to change. You know how much I care about you and how much you mean to me and yet you still wonder why it all bothers me so damn much. I foolishly thought you were really going to change. I foolishly thought things were really going to change. I gave you a chance even though my better side suggested otherwise. My mind told me to cut you out when I had the chance and my heart told me to ignore logic and give you another chance. And now I sit here in tears wondering why I was foolish enough to have done that to begin with. I sacrificed so much so that today could happen and once again you put aside how I'd feel and decided to do things however you felt like doing them and spit on my face again. You told me things were going to improve, you promised on our relationship's sake. I'm mad at you, but I'm also more mad at myself for falling for it again. Falling for you again. Because now, once again, I can't get over you. I blew my chance to cut you out and now I'm back to square one. You reminded me why I hate people, you reminded me why I gave up all hope on ever being happy a long time ago. You came into my life and gave me hope, we had excellent times and I thought maybe, just maybe, things could work out. You then only cared when you thought you'd lose me, and then you forgot about that and thought you could walk on me again, and you can. You did. Where I continue to make sacrifices for you time after time, you continue to throw me aside only to come marching back in and remind me why I loved you in the first place. But it's silly. It was stupid of me to think for one second that you were going to truly change. And now I don't know what to do so I'm just sitting here, crying, smoking my lungs off in hopes this cigarette will finally kill me and I'll be free of you. You have me under your spell and you know it, so you abuse me mentally, you kill me inside, and there's nothing I can do about it. Because of you, I feel hopeless, I feel trapped. I can never be happy. Why was I so foolish? I had my chance to let you go. I had my chance to get rid of you. I didn't take it because you promised, and now I'm stuck. All I can hope for now is my eventual death. Thank you for ruining my life, thank you for ripping out my heart. Thank you for making me feel like I'm a body of moving organs and not a person. Thank you for destroying whatever was left of my happiness.