Fanfiction Lounge

[txteclipse]

Skunter, my Mastermind fic has a Mewtwo in it that tries to pass herself off as human. However, since it's a sci-fi novel, the Mewtwo uses a hoodie and long pants instead of a cloak to hide herself.

So I say go for it. Definitely.

 

[JX Valentine]

I've actually been wondering about this for a while, but has anyone ever done a fic or even a part in a fic where a Pokemon tries to pass itself off as a human? And, I don't mean taking the form of a human like Latias did in the Pokemon Heroes movie, but rather a Pokemon that already looks like it could be a person uses that fact as a way to live among people without really drawing attention to the fact that its really a creature by masquarading in a cloak or something to hide the parts that would give it away. I was thinking about having a fakemon that does that appear in part of the fic I'm currently revising, but I was wondering if this was a good idea or not.

Oh yes. A fic I'm working on right now has that as one of its important elements, and I believe some of Farla's work does it well as well (if you'd like to check out an example). I say if you've got a reason for doing it, it's perfectly kosher to do. It allows the reader to see a humanoid Pokemon capable of human-like thought (such as, as txteclipse mentioned, Mewtwo) as more human, if that makes sense.

I guess what I'm trying to say is it's a great element if pulled off.

 

[Incinermyn]

Okay! Cool, I'll do it. But, the only other thing about it is what it uses to cover itself up. I was thinking about having it dressed in the kind of garb that a Chrisitian monk would wear. Would anyone take offense with that? I mean, this creature I'm using is kind of like one to begin with (or at least that's the story it uses in the fic).

 

[icomeanon6]

However, since it's a sci-fi novel, the Mewtwo uses a hoodie and long pants instead of a cloak to hide herself.

I never really understood how a Mewtwo could disguise itself as a human; not only do they not have thumbs, they also have these huge tails. Also, ever seen anyone with naturally purplish-pink skin? Not me!

Here's a new question:
Have you ever been frustrated at receiving purely positive reviews that don't offer any advice?

Those kinds of reviews just leave me with the nagging feeling that I've made some mistake that no one's bothered to point out.

 

[Golden Riolu]

Have you ever been frustrated at receiving purely positive reviews that don't offer any advice?

Yes. All the time. I have some reviewers who only say what they like and I'm left sitting there and wondering if I've made so many mistakes that they're scared to point them all out.

~Golden

 

[JX Valentine]

I was thinking about having it dressed in the kind of garb that a Chrisitian monk would wear. Would anyone take offense with that?

I think if you said it was just a robe, that sort of thing's appeared so often in fantasy that it's easy to pass off as nothing much. I mean, a ton of sorcerers and wizards tend to don something similar, so you can probably still get away with the monk look.

I never really understood how a Mewtwo could disguise itself as a human; not only do they not have thumbs, they also have these huge tails. Also, ever seen anyone with naturally purplish-pink skin? Not me!

This is true, but it depends on how he's covered up. Hooded cloak arranged carefully and a face mask, maybe he might get away with it. Hoodie and long pants, yeah, I see what you mean.

Have you ever been frustrated at receiving purely positive reviews that don't offer any advice?

I really don't think much about it either way. Yeah, it's lacking, but as someone who started on FFNet, I got used to it. *shrug*

However, I can't stand it when:

1. A reviewer gives me only a grammatical review but nothing else. While this is helpful, oftentimes, it's just pointing out the error, rather than explaining why it's an error (Which I find to be a little weak because, really, how is anyone supposed to learn how to avoid their mistakes if they don't know why it's a mistake?), or outright failing to offer a review on other things as well -- like, you know, the storyline. Grammar, while it is an important part of the writing process, is only part of it. Whenever I get only a grammatical review, I tend to think that the reviewer is a critical person but couldn't be arsed to actually pay much attention to the story. You know, as if the story itself couldn't grab their attention enough for them to make a comment that at least stated, "As for your storyline, it's okay, but I think you can improve X, Y, and Z."

2. A reviewer states that they didn't like the story but don't state why. I've had a reviewer once that said my storyline outright sucked, but they never explained which elements they thought didn't work. When asked, they told me that they can't skyrocket me to success. Uh, what? All I wanted to know was whether or not there was an element in the story that you thought could be improved and what suggestions you would make to improve it.

In other words, I don't care so much about the "omg plz rite more" reviews because those really don't say too much to me. I do care about the "omg this sucks, but I'm not going to elaborate"/"omg i'm just gonna nitpick teh grammar" reviews because those almost say something but just fall short of saying it.

 

[Bay]

Have you ever been frustrated at receiving purely positive reviews that don't offer any advice?

Kind of depends the content of the positive review. If the review says some things they like about that fic and also explains why without pointing the flaws out, that's fine as at least I know I'm going in the right direction. However, if it's just, "Oh my gosh, so good! Write next chapter!" than I'll be frustrated because they're not exactly telling me what they like about that fic.

2. A reviewer states that they didn't like the story but don't state why. I've had a reviewer once that said my storyline outright sucked, but they never explained which elements they thought didn't work. When asked, they told me that they can't skyrocket me to success. Uh, what? All I wanted to know was whether or not there was an element in the story that you thought could be improved and what suggestions you would make to improve it.

In other words, I don't care so much about the "omg plz rite more" reviews because those really don't say too much to me. I do care about the "omg this sucks, but I'm not going to elaborate"/"omg i'm just gonna nitpick teh grammar" reviews because those almost say something but just fall short of saying it.

Haha, I have that kind of review in "Nothing, Everything." The reviewer told me it's good but still needs work and then I ask what do I need to work on. XD

 

[TurtleKing]

Have you ever been frustrated at receiving purely positive reviews that don't offer any advice?

Heh, my fic is FULL of them. I don't even know if I have improved any further as an author xD.

 

[Dragonfree]

Have you ever been frustrated at receiving purely positive reviews that don't offer any advice?
More so when they don't have much content to them at all ("omg I loved it write more!!!"). Constructive praise, as I call it - when the reviewer is specific about what they liked so much and why - can be quite helpful, particularly when coupled with general comments on the progression of the storyline. As an author I feel I benefit a lot from just knowing what a reader is thinking at some particular point in the story, since it can tell me if I'm dropping too many hints or not many enough, whether I'm building up excitement for event X well enough, whether character X's personality got across well enough, whether some scene had the emotional effect I wanted, et cetera. Constructive praise and general comments can help with that kind of stuff, although obviously they can't compare to good concrit as far as ability to improve my writing goes. While getting nothing but positive reviews for something I know is heavily flawed does frustrate me somewhat, I'm a lot less bothered by it when there is some actual content to the post all the same.

 

[txteclipse]

I never really understood how a Mewtwo could disguise itself as a human; not only do they not have thumbs, they also have these huge tails. Also, ever seen anyone with naturally purplish-pink skin? Not me!

Hence the hoodie and long pants. Covering as much skin as possible. I'll probably have her keep her hands in the pocket of the hoodie/in the sleeves. The real problem will be the face and eyes, but she'll pull the hood down and try to keep her head down as well for the most part. Her tail will be unceremoniously duct-taped to her back. It's more for when she's moving from place to place in the public eye rather than always being out and about. And some people will be bound to notice her eventually, I figure.

Here's a new question:
Have you ever been frustrated at receiving purely positive reviews that don't offer any advice?

Those kinds of reviews just leave me with the nagging feeling that I've made some mistake that no one's bothered to point out.

Yes. I get those a lot. However, I have a small base of good reviewers that drop me a line for nearly every chapter, so I'm mostly satisfied.

 

[Saffire Persian]

Have you ever been frustrated at receiving purely positive reviews that don't offer any advice?

Only if it's a one line variant of "OMG, please write more!" and only because I don't really know if the person really read it, or is just saying that for 'review me nao!' purposes. Getting purely positive reviews really doesn't bug me, [and it's not because I have an ego the size of Alaska]. I just appreciate the person taking the time to read the story, and actually liking it, and showing me or telling me what they liked. And really, some people don't know how/don't want to/whatever give advice or critique. Besides, I have other people who review who will give me some helpful critique anyway, even if it's just pointing out typos.

 

[summonshire]

Unexpectedly, I'm only in Chapter two. It's called "The Fragrance of the Verra." Verra is a flower with three petals which each meant love, hope, and peace. But as soon as I finish it, I sure will post a link here for those who wants to take a look at it. Here's how it goes: First of all, I had made the world of pokemon seem more real. It had three continents in all and uncountable countries. Long before, there were only pokemon in Vistria(Another name for the world. If anyone has suggestions, you can email me). But after the agent of spirits(an extraordinary Gardevoir that is rumored to have guarded the bonds between worlds)had decided to make humans civilize Vistria, humans became good friends with their new findings. The smallest continent, Serenica contained Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh... as everyone already knew. But the second largest continent, Vennara(Vee-nah-rah) contained seven countries. But we'll not go that far. This story happens in the Jiang Dynastic Empire, which was ruled by a kind-hearted emperor which cared of others more than himself. Vennarians prefer olden ways of non-technologic life because they have what's more than electricity and fuel. Which was psycast(a kind of power generated from the human mind connected to the phenomenon of nature. There also are gases, minerals and a lot of stuff associated with this power. That means which supports this power. Every single person who is able to manage psycast, even the unborn yet, has a special weapon stored in a endlessly long tower somewhere in the sky. No one knows a single thing of the person who forged all of these weapons. The special thing about them is, they are minimized by psycast when not in use in a necklace like thing but which you wrap around your hand.
This story is about a bandit whose parents are killed by the army and stopped stealing because of connecting himself to the meaning of the Verra(above). His house was beside a forest of Verra trees. By the way, Verra leaves could be mistaken as white bird feathers because they lood so much like it. He had a ninetales which was his best and only friend. He met it since he was a child when it saved his life.
Then one day he meets a female warrior, who came as spy, who was hit by a bundle of bandits and lost all her money. But she kept some under her shoes which the bandits didn't take off her. He saved her life as she drifted along a stream, unconscious. Then he learned that she was from the Saito Kingdom(Japan in Venarra). She once attempted to kill the boy, but failed because she was too weak with bandages all over her body. The boy had saved her life again from a bandit attack as she was trying to run away. They both couldn't explain anything to each other because their languages weren't the same. The boy had tried to use his hands and head to communicate with her. She too had did the same. They had been together for three to four months. And the boy had taught her uncountable techniques of wilderness survival. He had also gave a necklace of a Verra two Verra petals which he broke and lost the last one. Until then, they had experienced love, but didn't express it and never did. The girl's objective was to spy on Jiang because Saito was going to have war against Jiang. But she never told the boy about it.
After she retreated to Saito, the boy had joined the Jiang army for food and shelter. Not after long, the war had started. The boy was so startled to hear the news that the enemy was Saito. But he fought according to the general's command. The girl was in the battle too. She was stabbed on her stomach. But the boy rushed to stop the other men from doing anything more. Because of the kindness and mercy of the general, he expelled the boy and left them alone and won the battle. Whereas the boy had escaped with the girl to the forest. He used the rest of his life bringing the girl back to life. He lasted for one month without eating, so he died.
Before he died, he gave the last petal he was hiding to the girl. It, therefore, represented hope...

The boy's name is ShaoHui. The girl's, I don't know.She is a Japanese, can anybody email me a suitable name?
Any comments email me at [email protected]

 

[Scarlet Weather]

Have you ever been frustrated at receiving purely positive reviews that don't offer any advice?

No, I feel left out.

Seriously, I'm really behind in the reviews department. Apparently, despite its high view count, there are very few people who wish to comment on "Thief in the Night" Extra kudos to both Astinus and Alter Ego for reviewing it, and doing a very good job of it too. (Extra bonus goes to Alter Ego for finding a problem in my interactions between The Speaker and General Michael.) And my fic has existed MUCH longer than most of these little, annoying one-liners that seem to attract "OMG" comments like flies. And so, in order to attract more reviewers, I shall amend my writing style for the third chapter of "Thief in the Night" slightly. Here is a sample of the updated version.

Spoiler:

Gale walked to Hammerstave and didn't find the hut, so he decided to go off and train his Pokemon. He went to Route 115 and battled against Pidgeys and Rattatas until his Pidgeot was level 40. Then he went to the first gym.

The generic gym leader was waiting and said "Ha, ha, ha, a puny challenger? I'll beat you! Go, Onix!"

And Onix appeared, so Gale sent out his Scizor. Then he yelled "Use Metal Claw!" Scizor used metal claw, and brought down the HP of the Onix, but it was too high of a level, so Gale just shot it with his magic tranquilizer gun.

"Hey, that's cheating!" said the Gym Leader.

"Screw the rules, I'm a thief," said Gale and shot him too, then stole all his money and walked out.

Not really looking at any fic in particular here, BTW. And no, I don't plan to write a chapter like this any time in the future. (The scary thing is that that last part is totally something I can see Gale doing. 0.o)

 

[Elite Overlord LeSabre™]

Have you ever been frustrated at receiving purely positive reviews that don't offer any advice?
Not really, because my positive reviews always include what the reader liked about the chapter, so I know what I'm doing well. But If I was on the receiving end of one of those "great fic rite more lulz" reviews, well, let's just say that they would be getting a nice present from me - a report to the moderators... bwahahahaha...

Sorry, I'm evil like that lolz

 

[txteclipse]

Thesis, you didn't use enough bad grammar in that. I actually found myself laughing. It sounded more like a parody fic rather than an attempt at writing badly.

 

[Astinus]

Congratulations, Thesis! Now when I review your second chapter, Gale is going to sound exactly like YGO: TAS's Kaiba. Because it's just that awesome.

Screw the rules, I'm a thief. XD

Actually, you should remove all the dialogue in your chapter, and have Gale catch a Fighting/Grass/Water/Electric-if-he's-like-Ash Pokemon, and win the battle in one sentence.

I'm so mean. ;-; *ignores people agreeing with statement*

And I can't answer the current topic, since: I haven't really posted anything; at this point, I have nothing to post; and the reviews that I did receive for my FFC fic probably weren't just mindless praise, if I can recall them correctly.

Oh, and I probably just murdered the semi-colon in that list there. So all may now proceed to point and laugh at the moderator now. :D

But I do have a new keyboard with a bottom row and a top row that actually works, and a 10-key number board! Num Lock, I love you. *cuddles with the Num Lock* So maybe I can actually type something, instead of having to pound the b button!

 

[Acrutheo]

Have you ever been frustrated at receiving purely positive reviews that don't offer any advice?
I've received a couple of these types of reviews, and I actually don't find them frustrating. While I definitely appreciate reviews that give me constructive criticism (or, as Butterfree said before, constructive praise) infinitely more than one-liners, I don't actually find myself getting angry over people who are complimenting my work. xD;

 

[Incinermyn]

I think if you said it was just a robe, that sort of thing's appeared so often in fantasy that it's easy to pass off as nothing much. I mean, a ton of sorcerers and wizards tend to don something similar, so you can probably still get away with the monk look.

Okay. Well, I know there are a lot of sorcerers, wizards, magicians, and so on that wear robes and clothing that conceal a lot of stuff to begin with, it's just the idea is that this creature's based more on a monk than anything else, which was why I was thinking it'd make sense to have it in that type of robe. But...I'm a little unsure of how this will go over becuase the idea is that this creature's supposed to turn out to be a type of demon that's out to disprove everything that people think they know about the world, the universe, and stuff and pass a type of 'judgment' on the humans, basically by summoning a monster that's supposed to bring about the apocalypse... Mmm... Maybe that's just a bit too intense for a Pokemon fanfic...even though it is a PG-13 fic...

 

[JX Valentine]

it's just the idea is that this creature's based more on a monk than anything else, which was why I was thinking it'd make sense to have it in that type of robe. But...I'm a little unsure of how this will go over becuase the idea is that this creature's supposed to turn out to be a type of demon that's out to disprove everything that people think they know about the world, the universe, and stuff and pass a type of 'judgment' on the humans, basically by summoning a monster that's supposed to bring about the apocalypse... Mmm... Maybe that's just a bit too intense for a Pokemon fanfic...even though it is a PG-13 fic...

Actually, I think it's really not so bad. I mean, the priest-turning-violent idea isn't exactly a theme that hasn't been touched, especially in anime and fanfiction. Sailor Moon, for example, has a character-of-the-day who starts out as a priest but turns into the monster-of-the-day partway through the episode. Likewise, there's Trigun, with a gun-toting priest who actually is supposed to be an antihero. (If I recall correctly, he was a villain in the manga, but in the anime, he used to be but switched sides.) The latter's even a popular character among the franchise's fans. So, yeah, if anyone's offended by your monk, just point 'em to various examples in anime. XD

As for the monk bringing about the apocalypse, that's also not something I'd imagine would be a bit too heavy. Apocalypses in general tend to be brought up in fanfiction now and then, especially with OT stories. Religious figures doing it tends to be a rarer sight, but if you pull it off decently, I don't think anyone would argue.

So, yeah, I'd say go for it anyway. After all, it's your story. As long as you don't rape canon or the English language, I think you've got enough freedom to write about something, even if you think it might be potentially offensive.

Of course, if you're still uncomfortable with it, you also don't have to include those elements. I'm sure you could figure out a way to write those out of your story if need be.

 

[Sydian]

Have you ever been frustrated at receiving purely positive reviews that don't offer any advice?

It's not my fault some people aren't the reviewing type. Any feedback is good to me.

I missed you peoples! -huggles-

Who are your literary influences?

Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe, Ambrose Bierce, Lemony Snicket, and Mark Twain.

Notice some of these guys have a typical negative wrtiting style, and also note my fic isn't the happiest work of reading material.