The Post Your Problems Thread 2.0

[Virtual Chatot]

Penguin, serve in the Navy and it's very likely never see actual combat. (unless you're good enough to be a Seal)
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I'm dealing with a French teacher I really don't like at all. I really love the French language but she's making the whole experience bad enough for me that I don't want to continue on to take French in University. Even though I do relatively well on my tests and quizzes, she has made me so reluctant to speak French that I do horribly on my speaking assessments and answering questions when they come out of the blue. I dread fifth period every day for the stress that I get, which is not worth the B that I got in the class last semester. Luckily I only have to deal with another 116 days (weekends/holidays included) of her and then I'm done with High School anyway.

 

[Raykon]

Hm, I generally don't like saying how I feel on forums but I guess I need to ask. Here is the story in short (trust me it will seem like I'm getting no where but it will lead up) Basically it all started off when I was going out with this girl from my class at school, and I asked her out over the internet, mainly because I was to scared to in real life. So we sort of went out for abut 2 weeks then it was the holidays. I was thinking about it the whole time over the holidays and I decided I wanted to ask her in real life. So it would be more 'special' and I told her this and she got incredibly upset. So I said I was sorry and that I still loved her and all, but after about a week she told me she didn't love me. This crushed my heart so bad and all that I just couldn't cope with it. And then when School came again it got even worst as she was in my group, and she got her friends(who are also mine) to try and make me like one of them so I didn't like her anymore. And they made 'plans' to stop me liking her and told me to just give up. This basically happened for about 1 year (2009) and I still kept on being patient and to see if she might go out with me again. But obviously she didn't, so I gave up. All of that depression has now made me paranoid and I can't take many jokes. Anyway, (I'm getting somewhere with this XD) now I didn't really like anyone for a month but now I like one of my friends who is really nice and all, but sometimes jokes about me even though it's a joke I still get offended. I don't want to tell her that I like her or anything as I am afraid she might say no and just do what the other person did. I'm not ugly or have a bad personality or anything, in fact a lot of people say I have good looks and personality but I never seem to get the person I like to like me. :/ Basically the question is, what exactly should I do and what can I do to get rid of this paranoia and anxiety ? I hope I didn't do anything wrong with this post and that everyone gets it haha.

 

[Zet]

Well you're still young to find true love, so why not give it a shot? If you get rejected you can move on and find another girl

 

[HarrisonH]

Hm, I generally don't like saying how I feel on forums but I guess I need to ask. Here is the story in short (trust me it will seem like I'm getting no where but it will lead up) Basically it all started off when I was going out with this girl from my class at school, and I asked her out over the internet, mainly because I was to scared to in real life. So we sort of went out for abut 2 weeks then it was the holidays. I was thinking about it the whole time over the holidays and I decided I wanted to ask her in real life. So it would be more 'special' and I told her this and she got incredibly upset. So I said I was sorry and that I still loved her and all, but after about a week she told me she didn't love me. This crushed my heart so bad and all that I just couldn't cope with it. And then when School came again it got even worst as she was in my group, and she got her friends(who are also mine) to try and make me like one of them so I didn't like her anymore. And they made 'plans' to stop me liking her and told me to just give up. This basically happened for about 1 year (2009) and I still kept on being patient and to see if she might go out with me again. But obviously she didn't, so I gave up. All of that depression has now made me paranoid and I can't take many jokes. Anyway, (I'm getting somewhere with this XD) now I didn't really like anyone for a month but now I like one of my friends who is really nice and all, but sometimes jokes about me even though it's a joke I still get offended. I don't want to tell her that I like her or anything as I am afraid she might say no and just do what the other person did. I'm not ugly or have a bad personality or anything, in fact a lot of people say I have good looks and personality but I never seem to get the person I like to like me. :/ Basically the question is, what exactly should I do and what can I do to get rid of this paranoia and anxiety ? I hope I didn't do anything wrong with this post and that everyone gets it haha.

You're 15. You didn't love that girl. Oh no, an entire month of not liking anyone? That must have been so hard to live through, how did you do it?

You're in high school. Nothing that you do is going to matter when you graduate and go to college. Ask this girl out. Don't say you love her, because you don't. Stop being a pansy and just do it.

 

[Raykon]

Well you're still young to find true love, so why not give it a shot? If you get rejected you can move on and find another girl

Thank you, Zet. May I say HarrisonH, as much as I appreciate your advice I think you could at least be a little bit less harsh. Seriously.

 

[0m3GA ARS3NAL]

Don't mean to branch off the subject here, but I got a serious need for advice.
This is super srs guys and gals.

Okay, so here is my problem.
I am in love with my Ex-GF, Amanda, we broke up about 2 1 and 1/2 months ago.
I am currently in a relationship with another girl, Paz, I like her and everything, but I just don't love her as much as I thought I did in the beginning..
I mean, when we first started dating, I thought it was great, I guess I should have taken a few months to clear my head of the whole Amanda thing...
She is CRAZY in love with me, we HAVE done "things" together, and all that jazz.

Now Amanda broke up with me, because she wasn't attracted to me anymore.. She told me that, she told others, that she broke up with me because she didn't want to bother me with problems that may be going on in her life, I knew she was having a hard life, but I told her it was okay to talk to me, and that I'd listen cause I loved her. Keep in mind she had a REALLY hard time telling me anything wrong in her life, it was her nature, I assure you. I dunno which reason she actually broke up with me for, but I'm hoping for #2 cause I'm a bit insecure about my looks and am hoping to god that that is why.

I'm conflicted, I don't want to crush Paz's heart, and chase after a girl whom I dunno if even loves me anymore...

So far as I figure... I've got a few options...

• I stay with Paz, I'm a bit unhappy but at least I'm making her happy, right?
• A selfish decision, I leave Paz for Amanda, but Amanda doesn't love me anymore and I end up alone for an unknown period of time...
• A Selfish decision, I leave Paz for Amanda, she loves me still, but denies it and we both end up in an awkward position.
• A selfish decision, I leave Paz for Amanda, she loves me still, and we go from there.

So DCC, any advice?

 

[Zet]

This really belongs in the post your problems thread, but regardless of that for the moment.

Since you still have some feelings for Paz, I think it's best to stick with her and try to clear your mind of your ex but if that can't happen and you still can't love Paz as much. Then I guess it's best to break up with her, even though she might hate you for still loving your ex, she'll get over it in time(hopefully).

 

[Anxiety.]

I think the worst thing has just happened to me. I know its not the worst but I don't think I've ever been this sad.

The girl that I've liked, like, absolutly loved, and I've loved her for ages, well I asked her out a few months ago, she said that she liked me to but she was scared of relationships so no. I found out today that she has a boyfriend. And I asked her about it and she said 'Meh, I thought I'd give it a go'... but if she liked me, and she knew I liked her, why couldn't she 'give it a go' with me?
I don't know if she knows how much she's hurt me. And I hope she doesn't because I only want to see her happy.

But now I can't stop crying, I don't think I've ever been so sad in my life, please can someone help me deal with it? I don't want to hurt her in the process, because I still love her and if this is what she wants I'm not going to stop her. I just want to stop being sad myself.

 

[processr]

Sorry to be blunt, but what she said just means "no, I don't want to go out with you", "I don't like you that way" etc. It's a kinder way of putting it, shall we say (though, of course, it causes much hurt in the end). I've been on the end of that sort of treatment a few times, it's honestly just a case of trying to move on. Don't dwell upon it and concentrate on other things. Plenty more fish etc. Sorry I can't be more helpful, it's always been fairly easy for me to get over that sort of rejection. D: You'll find the right person for you some day. ^^

 

[The Cynic]

I think the worst thing has just happened to me. I know its not the worst but I don't think I've ever been this sad.

The girl that I've liked, like, absolutly loved, and I've loved her for ages, well I asked her out a few months ago, she said that she liked me to but she was scared of relationships so no. I found out today that she has a boyfriend. And I asked her about it and she said 'Meh, I thought I'd give it a go'... but if she liked me, and she knew I liked her, why couldn't she 'give it a go' with me?
I don't know if she knows how much she's hurt me. And I hope she doesn't because I only want to see her happy.

But now I can't stop crying, I don't think I've ever been so sad in my life, please can someone help me deal with it? I don't want to hurt her in the process, because I still love her and if this is what she wants I'm not going to stop her. I just want to stop being sad myself.

I normally give very active responses to these questions, but in this case I think you just have to sit back and let her. Personally, I don't think she's doing it intentially to hurt you. I think she just wanted to try her hand at a relationship and he was the one there. I'm sorry if this isn't very helpful, but it seems this time to be the best course of action. There will be other girls...

 

[0m3GA ARS3NAL]

My dad dies yestersay/early morining... I'm losing myself and dunno how to take it...

 

[The Cynic]

Thats something awful to go through. Its difficult to help you on this one. You just have to surround yourself with family/friends in such a troubled time. You should probably look to an expert on this one...

These articles will really help.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/coping_with_grief/bereavement_helpourselves.shtml

https://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/coping_with_grief/bereavement_deathparent.shtml

I send my utmost condolences for what wmust be a devestating loss. But the effects don't have to permenant. You will get over this, not matter how huge it seems. Don't expect to overcome grief in a few days. Give your self a month or two or even longer to adjust to the changes and don't rush the grieving process. You will always have memories and so your dad hasn't really left you. The above links will help. I'm sorry but my only personal experiences of loss all occured before I was 10 so I cannot personally help you much.

 

[Jolene]

I think I am over my English teacher, but now there's a really cute policeman who patrols our neighbourhood sometimes. Although, he seems kind of mad at me recently for wasting police time. Do you think I should buy him a Valentine's card? Would that make everything better?

 

[magikarptrainer]

Hahaha. Jolene is one of my favorite posters.

 

[Kura]

I have a problem with Jolene trollin'
That naivety just makes me rage, seriously.

Maybe I should report her. What do you think?
I don't think anyone could honestly be serious about that situation. Honestly. If she is, I honestly think she needs to seek out a therapist.

 

[Spikey-Eared Pichu]

People can't help who they're attracted to.

Brings me to my problem.

Okay, so I'm homosexual and I'm open to only my closest friend (She's in North Carolina right now though so I can't go to her for advice ='( ) and one of my two best guy friends. I came out to him last year and he's very cool about it, but I've developed very deep feelings for him. I've told him how I feel and he hasn't shunned me or attacked me because of it, in fact, he is fully aware of how I feel and we sometimes talk about it. The thing is, he's supposedly "straight" and isn't into me the way I am into him. But, he's told me that he's experimented by himself and even admitted to thinking he was homosexual in two years ago. Recently, we were talking and he said that he'd be interested in messing around with me sexually, but he still says he's straight. This has all caused me to sink into very depressing phases which can only be relieved by talking to/being around him. It's like he's my drug and I'm addicted. I don't know what to do anymore. I get extremely depressed when I'm not talking to or hanging out with him. What do I do?

 

[Bay]

People can't help who they're attracted to.

Brings me to my problem.

Okay, so I'm homosexual and I'm open to only my closest friend (She's in North Carolina right now though so I can't go to her for advice ='( ) and one of my two best guy friends. I came out to him last year and he's very cool about it, but I've developed very deep feelings for him. I've told him how I feel and he hasn't shunned me or attacked me because of it, in fact, he is fully aware of how I feel and we sometimes talk about it. The thing is, he's supposedly "straight" and isn't into me the way I am into him. But, he's told me that he's experimented by himself and even admitted to thinking he was homosexual in two years ago. Recently, we were talking and he said that he'd be interested in messing around with me sexually, but he still says he's straight. This has all caused me to sink into very depressing phases which can only be relieved by talking to/being around him. It's like he's my drug and I'm addicted. I don't know what to do anymore. I get extremely depressed when I'm not talking to or hanging out with him. What do I do?

Hm, so he just says he'll experiment with you sexually? How about a more deep relationship? I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want the relationship just be about sex. That would just hurt your guys' friendship later on. If he just "want to mess" around with you, then it's best if you two just stay friends then unless he's really serious about seeing you.

 

[Spikey-Eared Pichu]

But that's the thing, we havn't done anything sexual yet. I feel if we do, it might tip the scale of his sexual confusion, but he keeps putting off trying anything. I'm in love with him. He knows it. I want to spend all my time with him, but I don't know where he stands on this...

 

[Esper]

But that's the thing, we havn't done anything sexual yet. I feel if we do, it might tip the scale of his sexual confusion, but he keeps putting off trying anything. I'm in love with him. He knows it. I want to spend all my time with him, but I don't know where he stands on this...

If you love him then you should do what is best for him. If, as you say, he's confused about his sexuality the last thing you want to do is add to that confusion. I know you haven't said you would, but just to be clear: don't ever pressure someone to have sex. He has to decide what he wants.

 

[Spikey-Eared Pichu]

I'd never, ever want to do that to him. It hurts me to know he's confused and he won't open up about it. He knows I'm gay, he knows that if there's any one person who can help him, it's me! I wouldn't try to take advantage of him, never. I just want to help him...