I'm always scared.

I know I sound like a whiny rich kid right now, but I constantly feel either scared, suspicious, or terrified of everything around me.

I mean, I don't live in freaking Afghanistan where I have a good reason to be cautious (as in, I want to keep my limbs), but I live in a middle-class neighborhood where everybody protects the kids from nothing ("omg honey ur gunna die if u go out in the dark alone!" "um mom the street is lit and Rite Aid is literally right in front of our house"), so I should be the opposite of cautious regarding my safety, but instead I feel like somebody's always gonna kill me at the most inopportune times about the craziest things (hey we're having a tea ceremony! I should think about a bomb blowing up next to the teahouse!).

Well, now it's 9AM and it's my daily "wait for the hitman to kill me" hour! Wish me luck!

I hate my consciousness.

Dude I feel exactly like you. I always think of the worst possible scenario.

So you would say you have a rather concerning case of paranoia?

I just wanted to tell you that while some problems people have are more overwhelming, known about, or generally looked at as more of a hardship, it doesn't make your problems less important. Everyone has them, and everyone deserves help and a listening ear with them. Remember that.

Harlequin;bt89484 said:

So you would say you have a rather concerning case of paranoia?

Click to expand...

Or mist(dis?)trust for everything that moves. Like, I think everybody hates me, my dog doesn't like to be in the yard, maybe I'll fall down and break a spinal cord or two because gravity hates me!

Pretty much every day in my brain for at least 20 hours.

Sounds like someone made you paranoid, your mom perhaps (I'm going by you quoting your mom there)?

I'm really careful as well..always thinking of the worst outcome for things. It can be tough to fight it too. One step at a time seems to help best.