Arylett Charnoa
No one in particular.
- 1,130
- Posts
- 10
- Years
- Age 32
- Seen Jan 5, 2023
Hello there, fellow humans of this internet location. I am Shion Uzuki Arylett, writing a thing here in attempts to make a connection with you. Although this is more just musing to myself that I didn't feel like posting on my intensely diary-like Tumblr. It will be short (for my standards, not yours, most likely), due to the fact that I am currently ill and my mind is not to its standard level of intelligence.
Allow me to tell you right here: most of my blogs will be about me. "Well, of course. It's a blog." You may say. It isn't quite what you're thinking. They will be about me in a way that analyzes my personality from a somewhat objective point of view, because that is what I do. I am always on the quest for maximum self-awareness, and on this journey, learning things about myself is the top priority. I must discover who I am.
I would like to contemplate today something that has been on my mind and growing steadily with interest.
Sometimes I apply strict labels to myself in my personal journey, and these cause me to limit how I act because I must do so according to that label. It's very detrimental, but it's part of my urge to ensure that everything is clearly defined. Labels... names... they are so important, aren't they?
This isn't to say that labels and names should be shunned completely. They are very useful in communication and understanding. But to follow them to the strict letter... that's what I try not to do to myself. And don't succeed all too often.
There are times when I discover things about myself that go beyond a label I applied in the past. And these moments can be very liberating. Right now is one of those moments.
I always saw myself as a rather impractical sort of individual. One who is constantly off in fantasy land, not thinking of real life matters, not useful in any money management situations (due to my extremely poor grasp of numbers) or things of that nature. This is still somewhat true. When it comes to day-to-day real life, I am completely clueless. It's a good thing I have a fiance who takes care of these things for me. (Don't worry, I still do my part. It's just that isn't my part.)
But... perhaps I am more grounded in practicality and logic than I thought.
My mind has always been about the bare minimum. There are many things that other humans do that I find to be merely unnecessarily niceties in the grand scheme of things. Though things that I still enjoy. I just think that they're not necessary. My mind constantly questions the need for recreational activities. Video games... consuming entertainment. And yet conversely, most of me exists in these activities. Most of my being are creative projects and worlds that I work on.
I question the necessity of me, and my creative worlds even though they are a part of me. Even though I cannot stop myself from doing so. Is it a waste of time? Wouldn't it be better to do more practical activities?
And I am told by my fiance that such activities are just as necessary, if more necessary, than those boring practical activities that he does. They are necessary to keep our sanity intact. And thus, I act as a keeper of sanity. The one who liberates us from the mundane of this world. And besides, everything is a waste of time anyway. Because we're all going to die eventually. A morbid, but comforting thought.
But it's still something that doesn't have me quite convinced. Things of the mind... it's difficult to think they're just as important as physical, concrete things. For some reason, such overwhelming practicality and minimalism is etched within my mind, unyielding to the straight up facts. Probably in part due to my huge fear of being rendered worthless.
It is becoming all too clear to me that such things that aren't viewed as necessities in the wilds or by a lot of people are in fact necessities. And their minds are simply outdated to the reality of this modern world. Technically, a computer and internet are not necessary to be alive such as obtaining food is in this world. But... without one, you cannot partake very much in a society that revolves around them. It becomes much more difficult to fill out a job application, to keep in touch with friends who use social media, and etc.
Then fictional stories are also necessary in that sense for humans. Our minds are more complex than the other animals and require a much more elaborate method of consoling, of keeping us sane, entertained, whatever purpose fiction fulfills in your life. If we cannot imagine, then we are doomed to have no innovation, no soul, and no heart.
What does this have to do with anything though?
Basically, what I'm trying to get at is that I can still be practical whilst floating off in my own dream worlds. I can still be ridiculously minimalist and question the necessity of everything. It's just that I'm practical moreso about things I understand - not things that are a mystery to me due to my naivete and natural predisposition against them. (Again, money management.)
When it comes to creating fictional stories, I am ridiculously practical with my approach. Everything must have a reason, and plotholes must be filled and avoided. If the villains have a high security base, how would the heroes be able to break into it so easily? Answer: They wouldn't. I would have to think up a very good reason why, or make it seem as ridiculously difficult as said. Everything has to make sense, and real world logic still has to apply even with many fantasy elements in place.
I create my art for practical reasons as well. For the expression of my imageless mind. Most of it is just concepts and designs that I am completely unable to picture in my brain. I make the designs as I'm drawing rather than having it in my mind as I would assume a lot of others do. It is to express the unexpressable and to make up for a huge deficit. Unconsciously, I took up the skill for that reason, as well as another. The desire to convert whatever I see into this world into my interpretation of it. What I mean is that I feel the need to make things my own. To make everything my own, and make it all fit into a sensical world within my mind. It is for that purpose as well. Once I have created my own interpretation of it, I can rest easy as my mind can use that one now. Everything can be cohesive and make sense. And it can look the way I think it looks best.
What you can say is that I am ruthlessly practical, but only at creative tasks and things that I understand. I am also ruthlessly practical in general, but I'm so ridiculously unknowledgable and... don't have the best mind for putting certain things together that I am inefficient at a lot of things. That is what led to my belief that I was completely impractical.
I should consider next time that just because I don't have a lot of knowledge about other things, doesn't mean it says anything about my general nature.
And there you go! That was lengthier than I was expecting.
Allow me to tell you right here: most of my blogs will be about me. "Well, of course. It's a blog." You may say. It isn't quite what you're thinking. They will be about me in a way that analyzes my personality from a somewhat objective point of view, because that is what I do. I am always on the quest for maximum self-awareness, and on this journey, learning things about myself is the top priority. I must discover who I am.
I would like to contemplate today something that has been on my mind and growing steadily with interest.
Sometimes I apply strict labels to myself in my personal journey, and these cause me to limit how I act because I must do so according to that label. It's very detrimental, but it's part of my urge to ensure that everything is clearly defined. Labels... names... they are so important, aren't they?
This isn't to say that labels and names should be shunned completely. They are very useful in communication and understanding. But to follow them to the strict letter... that's what I try not to do to myself. And don't succeed all too often.
There are times when I discover things about myself that go beyond a label I applied in the past. And these moments can be very liberating. Right now is one of those moments.
I always saw myself as a rather impractical sort of individual. One who is constantly off in fantasy land, not thinking of real life matters, not useful in any money management situations (due to my extremely poor grasp of numbers) or things of that nature. This is still somewhat true. When it comes to day-to-day real life, I am completely clueless. It's a good thing I have a fiance who takes care of these things for me. (Don't worry, I still do my part. It's just that isn't my part.)
But... perhaps I am more grounded in practicality and logic than I thought.
My mind has always been about the bare minimum. There are many things that other humans do that I find to be merely unnecessarily niceties in the grand scheme of things. Though things that I still enjoy. I just think that they're not necessary. My mind constantly questions the need for recreational activities. Video games... consuming entertainment. And yet conversely, most of me exists in these activities. Most of my being are creative projects and worlds that I work on.
I question the necessity of me, and my creative worlds even though they are a part of me. Even though I cannot stop myself from doing so. Is it a waste of time? Wouldn't it be better to do more practical activities?
And I am told by my fiance that such activities are just as necessary, if more necessary, than those boring practical activities that he does. They are necessary to keep our sanity intact. And thus, I act as a keeper of sanity. The one who liberates us from the mundane of this world. And besides, everything is a waste of time anyway. Because we're all going to die eventually. A morbid, but comforting thought.
But it's still something that doesn't have me quite convinced. Things of the mind... it's difficult to think they're just as important as physical, concrete things. For some reason, such overwhelming practicality and minimalism is etched within my mind, unyielding to the straight up facts. Probably in part due to my huge fear of being rendered worthless.
It is becoming all too clear to me that such things that aren't viewed as necessities in the wilds or by a lot of people are in fact necessities. And their minds are simply outdated to the reality of this modern world. Technically, a computer and internet are not necessary to be alive such as obtaining food is in this world. But... without one, you cannot partake very much in a society that revolves around them. It becomes much more difficult to fill out a job application, to keep in touch with friends who use social media, and etc.
Then fictional stories are also necessary in that sense for humans. Our minds are more complex than the other animals and require a much more elaborate method of consoling, of keeping us sane, entertained, whatever purpose fiction fulfills in your life. If we cannot imagine, then we are doomed to have no innovation, no soul, and no heart.
What does this have to do with anything though?
Basically, what I'm trying to get at is that I can still be practical whilst floating off in my own dream worlds. I can still be ridiculously minimalist and question the necessity of everything. It's just that I'm practical moreso about things I understand - not things that are a mystery to me due to my naivete and natural predisposition against them. (Again, money management.)
When it comes to creating fictional stories, I am ridiculously practical with my approach. Everything must have a reason, and plotholes must be filled and avoided. If the villains have a high security base, how would the heroes be able to break into it so easily? Answer: They wouldn't. I would have to think up a very good reason why, or make it seem as ridiculously difficult as said. Everything has to make sense, and real world logic still has to apply even with many fantasy elements in place.
I create my art for practical reasons as well. For the expression of my imageless mind. Most of it is just concepts and designs that I am completely unable to picture in my brain. I make the designs as I'm drawing rather than having it in my mind as I would assume a lot of others do. It is to express the unexpressable and to make up for a huge deficit. Unconsciously, I took up the skill for that reason, as well as another. The desire to convert whatever I see into this world into my interpretation of it. What I mean is that I feel the need to make things my own. To make everything my own, and make it all fit into a sensical world within my mind. It is for that purpose as well. Once I have created my own interpretation of it, I can rest easy as my mind can use that one now. Everything can be cohesive and make sense. And it can look the way I think it looks best.
What you can say is that I am ruthlessly practical, but only at creative tasks and things that I understand. I am also ruthlessly practical in general, but I'm so ridiculously unknowledgable and... don't have the best mind for putting certain things together that I am inefficient at a lot of things. That is what led to my belief that I was completely impractical.
I should consider next time that just because I don't have a lot of knowledge about other things, doesn't mean it says anything about my general nature.
And there you go! That was lengthier than I was expecting.
