Are you there, Barrels? It's me, Andy.
I have once again taken an unforgivably long time replying to you, which I think we should just stop acknowledging going forward because we spend half our messages apologising for the fact that the message has taken so long and lamenting the days when we would have a shiny new message waiting on the daily.
But, as it's been another four months (with no excuse other than I thought I'd replied, but this empirical evidence suggests otherwise) I now feel stupid actually replying to anything you said in your last message as it's all likely become irrelevant in the intervening time.
So rather than chuckling along with your gratitude at having one channel on the box, I'll give you another update of "what's going on with Andy" in the hopes of returning to some kind of VM rhythm!
So through my housemate Matt I've met a whole new group of friends that I actually enjoy hanging out with more than any of my existing ones! We only get to hang out like once every two months on average and spend the rest of the time talking daily in a communal Facebook Messenger chat but they're among the funniest bantery-est guys a man could hope to find on this silly island (or anywhere outside of The Mother Country) and there's about a 60/40 hetero-to-homo ratio within the dozen or so of us which has the dual benefit of creating wonderful banter opportunities and also finally giving me a group of smart straight guys to hang out with. When you hang out with exclusively gays too long they start to get tedious, but don't tell that to the Christian Lobby, they'll just misquote me and make it a hate commercial.
But speaking of the gay/straight divide, I'm sure you've heard that Australia are finally going through our long overdue showdown for same-sex marriage! We're doing it through a non-compulsory and non-binding postal survey that the Conservative Government wasted a lot of money on but promises that they'll do something about if we get a majority Yes vote (which we expect to, but then again Brexit Trump etc). The No campaign know they can't fight the debate, so they've changed it into something completely different and started straight-up lying to win people back to their side, which is Classic Bigot, but it's made some great memes so you gotta be grateful for that.
In a heartwarming move that even melted the ice around my own, Good Guy George (straighty from the new group I mentioned above who is actually sleeping on my couch as I type this) got his postal vote in the mail and then went around calling all his relatives to convince them all to vote yes.
This whole message looking back is like "oh look at me I have new friends even though i'm so serious and preachy as fuck about gay marriage", but when I closed my eyes and thought "What DOESN'T Barrels know about the last four months?" this is all that sprang to mind haha. OH! I went to the Blue Mountains in July for a weekend and had a Christmas in July feast and spent $110 on lollies that'll take me til this time next year to eat! That's something new! Other than that, work work work.
What's going on with you? I apologise for my complete lack of personality today. Seriously, I just read over it and I'm so dull I couldn't even spare you a goddamn emoji! I'll get it back; I just gotta run down to the shops, I traded it in for store credit so I can buy a Switch.
I have once again taken an unforgivably long time replying to you, which I think we should just stop acknowledging going forward because we spend half our messages apologising for the fact that the message has taken so long and lamenting the days when we would have a shiny new message waiting on the daily.
But, as it's been another four months (with no excuse other than I thought I'd replied, but this empirical evidence suggests otherwise) I now feel stupid actually replying to anything you said in your last message as it's all likely become irrelevant in the intervening time.
So rather than chuckling along with your gratitude at having one channel on the box, I'll give you another update of "what's going on with Andy" in the hopes of returning to some kind of VM rhythm!
So through my housemate Matt I've met a whole new group of friends that I actually enjoy hanging out with more than any of my existing ones! We only get to hang out like once every two months on average and spend the rest of the time talking daily in a communal Facebook Messenger chat but they're among the funniest bantery-est guys a man could hope to find on this silly island (or anywhere outside of The Mother Country) and there's about a 60/40 hetero-to-homo ratio within the dozen or so of us which has the dual benefit of creating wonderful banter opportunities and also finally giving me a group of smart straight guys to hang out with. When you hang out with exclusively gays too long they start to get tedious, but don't tell that to the Christian Lobby, they'll just misquote me and make it a hate commercial.
But speaking of the gay/straight divide, I'm sure you've heard that Australia are finally going through our long overdue showdown for same-sex marriage! We're doing it through a non-compulsory and non-binding postal survey that the Conservative Government wasted a lot of money on but promises that they'll do something about if we get a majority Yes vote (which we expect to, but then again Brexit Trump etc). The No campaign know they can't fight the debate, so they've changed it into something completely different and started straight-up lying to win people back to their side, which is Classic Bigot, but it's made some great memes so you gotta be grateful for that.
In a heartwarming move that even melted the ice around my own, Good Guy George (straighty from the new group I mentioned above who is actually sleeping on my couch as I type this) got his postal vote in the mail and then went around calling all his relatives to convince them all to vote yes.
This whole message looking back is like "oh look at me I have new friends even though i'm so serious and preachy as fuck about gay marriage", but when I closed my eyes and thought "What DOESN'T Barrels know about the last four months?" this is all that sprang to mind haha. OH! I went to the Blue Mountains in July for a weekend and had a Christmas in July feast and spent $110 on lollies that'll take me til this time next year to eat! That's something new! Other than that, work work work.
What's going on with you? I apologise for my complete lack of personality today. Seriously, I just read over it and I'm so dull I couldn't even spare you a goddamn emoji! I'll get it back; I just gotta run down to the shops, I traded it in for store credit so I can buy a Switch.