Well, the last time I did, I only had a stick, a lightsaber, and my handy-dandy taser. It ate the lightsaber, crushed the taser, and broke the stick into seventeen pieces. Then I ran away, only to be stopped by epic women pirates. After that, there was this giant battle between the pirates and the cancerous tyrannosaurus rex. They ended up owning the rex, but his cancer infected them. To this day, they are all bald and use their heads for mirrors.
I have the whole thing on video. Wanna see?