Barrels

I'm in charge of all of your lessons! I have a secret pact with Swinehaemorrhoids School of Pottery and Everything that puts me in charge of what you learn. Don't stress about that too much though, it's all legit and above-board and it means I pay your tuition so you get that for free!

Also, there is a staff post theme collab going on right now leading up to the Japanese release of B2W2. We all have matching sigs and avatars. You might notice mine if you ever venture out into the forums beyond VMing me :P. But here is the first draft of the sig I asked for, before I had the line taken off because I didn't want 4000 VMs asking me wtf it was about :P

Well now that the flow is broken, I'm not going to delete my VM because YOU RUINED IT AND I FEEL THE WORLD SHOULD KNOW THAT YOU RUINED IT.

Also I regret to inform you that the little-known school of magic (Pigboils? Swinehaemorrhoids? I'm no good with names) is not located in the forests of Albion. You are thinking of the ancient civilisation of Camelot. That table was round, not rectangular and inappropriately long. I do understand the confusion - they have both produced amazing magic-wielders. Only one of them, however, produces people with the power to do this:

AgZOVmqg57U

For the record, I want it known that I started writing this post at midnight. It is now 1:22AM, because an ill-conceived plan to go to Tumblr to find a gif version of that scene resulted in a one-hour spree of going through my dashboard reblogging every funny thing I saw :P

In any event, I made no such pact with these mages. Mostly because Albion and all other magical kingdoms are quite far away and frankly I couldn't be arsed. If you wish for your pottery lesson to have a supernatural element though, I am more than happy to arrange for the late Patrick Swayze to come sit behind you and hold you as you mold the clay.

True story: I JUST got a post deleted yesterday because it was "too generic". Wah. I never win. Haha.

By any chance, are you registered on the Zelda Universe forums? That's the website I'm most active on, and I'm making an honest attempt to become just as active on here. :P

I had a horribly busy day today and it's now 3am and I only just got to your VM, so instead of replying now I'm gonna just send you this to let you know I haven't forgotten about you and go to sleep. Then in the morning im going to delete this VM do it doesn't break up the flow and I'm gonna send a real one that shows my mind is awake xD

Basically the same thing. :p I'm just forum-ing. Pokecommunity is the only forum that's working right now, though! D: It's strange. I'm trying to post more here, but for some reason, I can't think of anything to say in most of the threads. I wouldn't be adding anything new. :p #NewMemberProblems

Hey! What's up? :D

It is happening right now, and you are still unaware even though I have made you aware. This shows the depth of the GMP. You are powerless against it. You will be mine.

This means, of course, that when you are done learning and the earth turns on your axis rather than its own, I will be by your side controlling it with you. You will not sketch my future, we will sketch the future of the world... together.

And it all starts this summer, in pottery class.

Don't worry, Phase 2 is subtle. The majority of the Grand Master Plan will go forth with you completely unaware that anything is happening. It is so subtle that even my telling you about the Grand Master Plan will not spoil the Grand Master Plan.

And telling somebody to enjoy their summer is not being a bad influence! When do you ever stop? When do you rest?! WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE ENOUGH!

What is this course in, anyway? Please tell me it's a summer course in pottery or something fun lie that. You know, something that you can really make money from.

I should so change my usertitle to "Felicity Whoever" lmfao. It's FeliciA DAY. Anyway, it's glad that you see me more as her and less as a man - that is Phase 1 in my master plan to turn you gay and make you mine. You won't know what hit you when you see Phase 2 :P

OMG. Are you seriously doing a summer course? I was kidding! This is how you're going to spend your two months of freedom?

DOES NOBODY KNOW HOW TO JUST HAVE A FRIKKIN' HOLIDAY ANYMORE?! I want you to think long and hard about the choices you make, young man!

I think he's just too manly for me. I can't handle that amount of manly. I'm not man enough for rum :(

When are your summer holidays starting?! AND IF YOU TELL ME YOU'RE DOING A SUMMER COURSE I WILL DESTROY YOU BECAUSE THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.

I would believe the quality declined in a linear fashion :P. ARGH ****ING RUM. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WANT TO KILL JOHNNY DEPP JUST FOR JACK SPARROW ALONE! "Why's all the rum gone" oh shut up. SHUT UP.

You seem to me confused. It wasn't a Polynesian cookery club, that was just my hobby. The club was about the amazing acting talents of one Miss Penelope Cruz. And how is Her Majesty these days? Did she crack a smile at her Jubilee?

I've never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. I saw the second and fourth movies and didn't particularly care for either (the fourth less so - when Penelope Cruz can't even make a character which is essentially Penelope Cruz in a pirate costume believable, one spends most of the movie wondering if she's really that bad an actress or whether it is somehow the fault of the costume department for not making her adequately 'piratey'. Also, there was a scene in the second film where some creatures tore off Orlando Bloom's shirt and began whipping him which stirred some approval in my private region and bolstered the entire film endeavor slightly in my estimation). Therefore I feel that your hilarious account of your adventures has the dual effect of catching me up on what I missed by choosing not to see the film and being more entertaining than the movie could ever hope to be - if only due to the absence of constant and laborious references to misplaced rum. So thank you! You've saved me more than two hours of my life which can now be reallocated to other activities such as Polynesian cookery or founding my Penelope Cruz fan club.

But no really, where have you been?! I was worried sick!

OMFG YOU'RE HERE I THOUGHT I'D LOST YOU WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!

OK It is most definitely not me that dropped the convo this time :(

I am definitely back! I'm glad all is forgiven. :D

I wanted to do something that would REQUIRE me to stay active on the forums, so I started a trade shop! Woo!

I also bought Pokemon Platinum yesterday. I'm almost not comfortable admitting how much time the clock reads on my file considering I've only had it since 3:30 PM yesterday...

I vote you keep the smilies. I like them, they suit you!

How long is it til your Summer holidays by the way! I MISS OUR SKYPING IT HAS BEEN OVER A MONTH :(

And Ron doesn't have flaws, he is ALL flaws (lmao I don't actually hate Ron all that much, I'm partially baiting you :P). But to be honest, I don't like my men like Ron or like Edward, but somewhere in between :P

The smilies aren't so bad! What's wrong with them, they convey tone! Though I do love your characterisation of them as "little yellow beacons of pathetic" XD. You know, you can choose to disable smilies in text so they just come out in text form!

And I did not get the Malfoy reference because it's inaccurate. Where Malfoy (and the rest of the Malfoys) look down on the Weasley gene pool in general, I merely meant that every gene pool has its ups and downs and unfortunately Ron inherited the bulk of the downs :P

You're not going to rise to my baiting? You're getting lazy in your old age, my friend :P

I don't understand what the hell you mean by Malfoy either. I'm sure it's funny though, so I'm already laughing in anticipation :P

Hi guys. (Pluralized because it's going out to Barrels and Shining Raichu).

I'm back from being M.I.A... again. :p

In my defense, I had finals, AP Exams, and I had to get ready for prom and Junior/Senior social (which is like a giant costume party).

I'm basically an asshat.

But now that summer's here, I'm going to be on more! I promise! For real this time.

If it makes you feel better, here's me and my friends dressed as characters from the Legend of Zelda for my Junior/Senior social?



I'm Navi, the third one from the left. :P

Prom was fun though.

Finals and AP Exams? Not so much. :p

SO HI, THIS IS BASICALLY ME BEING AWKWARD BUT HOPING THAT I CAN JOIN THE POKECOMMUNITY AGAIN. :P

Also, I tried to send this as a PM but that didn't work out, so here ya go. :p

1. Serf may just be the most pretentious one-syllable word in the English language. It is worthy of Hyacinth Bucket herself.
2. I think Ginny had just the right amount of character development for a generic teenage girl on the periphery of a story :P. I wouldn't say it was zero, she did evolve from a timid girl with a crush on Harry to a semi-confident young teenager who, at the very least, partially got over her obsession with Harry and got on with her life! Cho, however... well, if she's gonna lose her **** like that every time one of her boyfriends gets murdered, she's not going to make it very far in life.
3. LOL oh wow. I had no idea that was a thing. Now I have IN-SUFF-ER-A-BLE-KNOW-IT-ALL-HER-MY-KNEE-GRAN-GER playing on repeat in my head. So, thank you for that. It turns out that was the song that awoke my sleeper cell system Summer Glau-style and now there's a dead-person bonfire in the middle of my town.
4. No, we don't get Terry Wogan/Graham Norton making fun of everything. I'm not even sure who Terry Wogan is. We get sub-standard Australian comedians doing the same thing, but not funny because not British :(.
5. I am not a Krumshipper. I don't like him and I would actually prefer she be with Ron than with Krum. However for the sake of bloodlines, Krum is a sexy stallion and Ron is the embodiment of all the flaws in the Weasley gene pool.
6. MEAN :<