I know exactly how you feel- and I was like that too. I still am sort of like that, but not to the extent I bottle up too much. I'm not going to push you, but I just want to tell you from my personal experience that the only way that these kinds of issues and bad feelings get resolved is by relaying them. Most people don't like to, and that's one of the many reasons why people are depressed. Society has a notion that we should repress more than express. That works for me, but repressing those kinds of feelings will just eat you whole. I've pretty much fought with depression a large chunk of my life, and I wish I had seen somebody sooner. Well, I'm hoping you don't need to see anybody, but my main point was that if you feel like it's consuming you, chances are, it is, and it's best to address it in a pace you're comfortable with.