Steel*

I'm quitting Pokemon and everything associated with it. Good bye to my friend, Eivana, PokeCommunity, and everyone else who cared.

Sincerely, Steel*

I did. And Merry Christmas to you too. Did you get everything you wanted?

Hi steel it has been long time to talk.So when you have time VM to make the trade.

Sorry it's still taking me so long to reply to this stuff.
I had orientation for college today and somehow I still managed to miss it. It snowed me in. I'm pretty stressed out because of it. Been stressed out badly for the past few days.

How are exams going?

Yeah, I am wanting to move pretty far away. Not because I dislike them or anything, but just because I want to see the world and I am learning different languages. My grandparents would be more than happy to see me do something like that than sit around the place like my mother does.

Haha, yeah. I don't take well to surprises, in fact I hate them. I don't mind when it's the good kind, naturally, but I dislike when people startle me in those kinds of ways. I never really know what to say in real life. When it comes to the internet though I can usually talk to people a lot easier. Most of the time we have a lot in common and we actually have that thing of conversation going anyway.

Well, they are just approaching the end of their lives. It's a sense of impending doom, and I can understand why and how that gets them down. My father has this history of slight depression, and it seems to be coming out worse in him now than ever. He's usually kind of grouchy, but he can be really nice and happy too. But he usually says stuff like, "This isn't worth it." or "Things used to be full of happiness and laughter. Now it's just kind of there and gone. It's boring and old." I worry about him. I know I will probably be like that when I am older too. I don't think I could handle being old.

I usually am more suspicious of nice people than anything. They usually actually make me nervous. I usually think they are the ones who are trying to either rip me off, use me for something, or backstab me. I always think that they are actually the enemies rather than the people who are mean and just come out and say, "Hey *****, **** ya."

I didn't mean to sound rude, I just get frustrated when I get things wrong. That's a problem with me. I love to be intelligent and work things out, but when I have nothing to go on and have to guess, 99 times out of 100, I'll get it wrong. That absolutely frustrates the piss out of me. I know that makes me sound mean or boring, but it's the sad truth about me. I am actually from a European family, but I live in the United States for now. I am in Kentucky, and I am not a hick. Most people think that Kentucky is full of hicks, I am not one of the hicks. And what makes Texas so great, anyway? What makes one place greater than the next?

I think the weather is a bit over rated, but it's okay. I can stand to live in it, but my parents don't have enough money to move, even if it meant that my skin and I would have to suffer because of it. But that's okay because I know that they are trying and I have been saving money up to move. I am going to hate being across and ocean from them, but it must be done!

Yeah, it's a natural reaction. I have no history of being slow or anything like that, but I can act like a damn idiot around people I don't know sometimes. I'll be so nervous I'll just stop in the middle of a sentence and lose all train of thought all together. Makes me seem like I am a bit slow, but I'm not. I just don't know what to say and my mind kind of wigs on me. Stops working. Freezes.

Yeah. I don't really blame myself too much anymore, but they keep reminding me that they are at the age now where they should be doing stuff, and they think now that they will never be able to do it. Because they had to raise me, of course. That is what makes me feel bad.

I basically find being nice to be a weakness sometimes, because some people can be so nice that it'll actually really hurt them. I don't like to be in that kind of situation. I don't like when people can say, "Well, Eivana is a nice person, she'll let you..." I hate that. That's just rude and stupid. And if two nice people meet each other, that would be almost... Disastrous. Too helpful. Too giving. I wouldn't like that.

I really, really hate guessing games, so I'll just let you tell me what you want later. I don't do stereotypes because they're stupid. They don't really exist. No race of people are exactly the same. So tell me when you want.

My grandparents have always tried to make Christmas amazing for my mother and I, and they have always succeeded. My dad was wanting to put lights up this year and I am trying to find the time to do so on the roof of the house, but I am usually sleeping or the weather just basically says, "Hey Eivana... I just dropped by to say **** you." And it doesn't get done, which makes me feel bad because last year we weren't able to. I was lazy and put it off. But mom and dad love to get gifts, and I am about to leave right now (it's at night, but I love it anyway) and finish up my Christmas shopping. Maybe the place won't be so crazy crowded.

I think I understand what you're saying because I am king of like that in reality. I stutter really bad sometimes, but I talk really loud and I refuse to let people interrupt me and I quickly correct myself from stuttering when I am actually comfortable around the person. But then again, I don't really get to know many people because of either time schedules or the fact that I just plain don't want to know them because they are annoying. And there is really no speech impediment I don't think... You just don't know what to say to that person because there is no connection there, there is nothing to say that you know of, and it's nerve-wrecking and you think twice about what you say and it really slows your brain down. Mine does that. At least, that's what I gather.

I don't really have much of a choice. It's either try and control my mother or my grandparents are going to pay for the damages my mother causes. I can't let my grandparents go through that, especially now that they are getting older. Because my mother had me when she couldn't take care of me, my granparents had to take me in and raise me. And I know that they wanted to go around the world and do stuff. But I had to get in the damn way, My mother makes the most ridiculous ****ing choices and it angers me.

Heh. I can be nice on random occasions. I'm not really a mean person, just sometimes I highly dislike to show people my really nice side beacause they will take advantage of me in heartbeat without any remorse.

And... I have no idea. You're talking to someone who can't figure things out on a whim like that. If you don't feel comfortable telling me, then please don't. I don't want you to tell me anything that you don't want me to know.

I am so busy trying to get shopping done (my family is REALLY into the Christmas fever!) and I am trying to send all my gifts to my friends who are in other countries. It's a really fun Christmas this year, I am really excited. lol (As always) ...This is probably the peppiest you'll ever see me, sadly. lol

I think you can be those at any time you choose. You are really intelligent already, I can tell that because I can stand talking to you. Some people like to **** around with words and act like they know it all and honestly that's annoying as ****. And sometimes I wish my life were that simple, but I'm also kind of thankful that it's not. It would be boring and nothing would ever get done. If it weren't for the people who first discovered things like electricity, we would never have even had a gaming age.

Well, my mother has some serious problems. She actually doesn't know how to take care of herself, and she jumps the gun and makes some really obnoxiously crazy decisions. And it's really bad for us. And she gets us into some pretty bad trouble sometimes. I almost always have to clean up the mess for her, because other than my grandparents (who I try to shield from her ****.) I am the only one who is mature enough to handle her. And I know her well.

Either one, you can tell me anything you would like me to know, hun. *Hug*

Sorry it took me a few days to reply. That won't happen again.
And yeah... I have a lot of motivation for school, I love being intelligent and thought of as intelligent. I love being someone that people can depend and rely on. I love being able to stand on my own two feet and knowing that I can support a family one day and I am not going to be some useless bum sitting on my ass all day asking favors of others. Once you get into that lifestyle it never ends. And it's ********.

We just argue about a lot of ridiculous stuff. Things that honestly shouldn't matter.

Where are you from?

Ok i can wait ^_^Just VM when you can trade :)

Hi steel can you trade now? :)

secretly :o well that secret is out now. :P
ive done like 7000 trades... it gets old getting an espeon for the 11th time and releasing it lol XD

Ok steel ^_^ Also i can't trade now because of the My school party i have to leave in 10 minutes.I will vm you.:)

I think i saw the trade thread and i saw that it was the same with the same pokemon
I am Giorgosss there btw :)

I think you are member in smogon too right??with the name kluts ?I will contact you there for more convenience ^_^

Yeah. My family fight and debate over trivial matters, and it's got me so upset. I'm not going to lie. But I handle it in my own ways. I never cry over things, I just work and study my ass off so I can escape reality. Or play games. I have nothing better to do anyway. Might as well.

Nope. Not really. Sadly. I would just rather be shot in the head than have to deal with my annoying skin condition.

When things settle down we can definitely have longer conversations. Right now I'm just busy and things are not going very well right now at home... In fact, today is one of the worst days I have had in a while. The things that people get into, the trivial things that people fight over... It really stresses me out, man...

Well, it started when I was a little kid. Every time I would step out into the sunlight, my skin would turn red and some parts would bust. And I would break out and bleed and hurt so bad that I could only curl up on my bed and do nothing. It almost caused my hands to completely close up, but I managed to get physical therapy in time. During the day I have to wear a hat, sunglasses, boots, a jacket, and pants. I can't expose any skin to sunlight or I'll regret it.

Hey, sorry about all of this.
I am going to be really busy for the next few weeks, so if you'd like to we could talk a lot faster through here. I check these once or twice a day, or whenever I can get on. I have a hard time being able to respond to PMs anymore.

And what makes me a night owl? Hmm, mostly it's the fact that I can't come out during the day due to my skin condition. I have to stay inside during the day and that is never fun and sleep at night... Well, would if I lived that kind of life. If I did, I would be fat and lazy. I just sleep all day and wake up at night so I can do stuff. Even if everything is calmed down at night, I can still actually live.

Ok just VM when you find time ^_^

When can you trade :).Vm when you can ^_^