I can see you've thought through what's happening, which is great, but as a whole it's still very scattered. I love how you've thought to mention a lot of battles - but I think it might be better to only include the first one, with Brock, as that's probably the most important to Miranda's story.
If you look at the top, it's one HUGE paragraph of description and things. This bit could do with breaking down into proper paragraphs, which will make it way easier to read.
Then, after that, you seem to have the opposite problem - where you go on to new lines.
Like this, rather than completing a paragraph. It becomes more a list of what everyone is saying.
The best way to fix this would, firstly, remove *some* of the events in the history. Or simplify them slightly. For instance the conversation with 'Jan' to get Machoke is very text-dense. Rather than him saying things literally you could just describe how he says things.