I would love to help someone find a non-smogon way to play pokemon ;-; :'D
That's like, seriously almost every day of my life something I want to do hahaha. But tomorrow, or another day... I just finished 2 gym leader matches, and am tired... especially with work in a few hours.
I was iffy on the horde battles at first too, until I figured out how to really milk it. You said unless they drop 3 per pokemon you don't see it... right? The highest level Super Training gives you what, 12 or 18? How about if every single horde battle, 1 surf or earthquake, gave you 60 EV's? :)
Quick math. Weepinbell hordes on the route to the right of the Ice Gym Leader's city are super common. Weepinbell gives 2 atk EV's, and 5 weepinbell per horde. So on a base level, 2 x 5 = 10 EV's. But, if you give your pokemon a power bracer, that's +4 Atk EV's per Weepinbell. So that becomes (2+4) x 5 = 30. Now, assume you have Pokerus on it, like any diligent breeder/trainer. [(2+4) x 5] x 2 = 60 And just like that, you use surf 4 times, and have 240 EV's in one stat.
HP is Gulpin on route 5, Atk is Weepinbell on route 19, Def is either Nosepass on route 10, or Durant / Graveller on Route 18, Sp Atk is Vanillite in the Frost Cavern, Sp Def is Hoppip, on Route 7 (Daycare Route) Speed is Wingull on Route 8. All you need is a sweet scenter, a Pokerus spreader, a level 100 with surf, and the power items. Bam. EV Training in 10 seconds flat. (that's a pony line.)