Pokémon - HeartGold & SoulSilver Adventure!

lol, lame title, and unfitting one, considering that this fic isn't a retelling of the games.

Pokémon
HeartGold and SoulSilver Adventure

Category: Original Trainer, adventure
Rating: PG-13
Additional Notes: As stated in the opening text, this isn't a novelization of the games. It's original trainer with a twist, none of that I R NOO PKMN TRAINER GIMMA PKMN N DEX PLZ PROF kinda thing. Literally, original trainer.

Also, I was inspired by the following writers and their fics, so give them a round of applause first if you enjoy this fanfiction.
TurtleKing - Poke Special Manga: DP
DassenSupes - Pokemon Blak: The True Tale of Kanto
Gummy - Divine Intervention
I give a special thanks to TurtleKing. His writing inspired me to write in the first place.
DassenSupes and Gummy also deserve thanks for inspiring me to be a better writer. Needless to say, these three are my favorite authors here at the community.

Disclaimer:
I don't own the Pokémon franchise.
I don't own the music mentioned in this fanfiction.

Before we continue, I would like to clear a couple things up that I'm sure readers would be confused if I didn't mention this.

The main trainers, Patrick and Cameron have already been on a Pokémon adventure, in Kanto. Their Kanto adventure is a prequel to this series, which hasn't been written yet.
And, the series rival, Kamon, also has his own prequel, which might be written as a one shot at some point in time. We'll just have to see.

Finally, we can get to the main event!


Table of Contents:
Pilot
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4 I
Chapter 4 II
Chapter 5

Trainer Profiles
Patrick's Profile
Cameron's Profile
Kamon's Profile
*Character images for Patrick and Cameron made with Pokemon Trainer Dress Up by hapuriainen at deviantART
*Image for Silver/Kamon drawn by Ken Sugimori, uploaded by Bulbapedia.

-----
Pilot

The moon shone upon the city of Pewter in the Kanto region. To reflect the moons light, the street lights around the haven were on to illuminate the empty city streets. The lights were off in all the buildings and houses throughout the district, all but the city Pokémon Center. There were only a total of two people in the Pokémon Center, a woman, and a young man speaking to each other the front desk.

"Excuse me Nurse Joy; I was wondering if I could temporarily leave my Pokémon here." He asked the women, while taking off six Poké Balls that were attached to his belt.

The young man's black eyes peered at Nurse Joy until she answered him.

"Of course I can! May I ask where you're going?" The woman happily smiled as the boy handed her the golf ball sized spheres.

"Oh, I'm going over to the Pewter Arena for a concert, and they don't allow Pokémon inside the arena."

"Okay, just come by to pick them up afterwards. Have fun!" Nurse Joy smiled.

Nurse Joy stepped away from the desk and walked into the hallway behind her. She lightly touched the pressure censor on each of the Poké Balls, expanding them to the size of an apple so they could fit in the tray she placed them in. Then, she placed the tray on a shelf in the hallway. She grabbed a pen and an index card, "I'm going to need your name so I don't get confused on whose Pokémon they are."

"My name is Patrick. Could you run a physical on them while I'm away? Later!"

Patrick eagerly jolted out of the Pokémon Center before he could even get an answer, but Nurse Joy happily agreed after writing his name down. She walked off with the tray over to a room with machines that check a Pokémon's physical condition. The machines included a treadmill, a weight scale, and an x-ray. She placed the tray on a nearby table, picked up one of the Poké Balls, and threw it to the floor in front of her. A bright white flash poured out of the Poké Ball upon emergence.

The bright light faded, revealing the Pokémon Nurse Joy had just released. It was revealed to be a Poliwhirl, the tadpole Pokémon. Poliwhirl's features consisted of aqua blue damp skin, and a clockwise spiral on its stomach that took up most of the water Pokémon's front side. Its hands also resembled mittens. Its large black eyes looked around the room. The Pokémon happily exclaimed its name, "Poliwhirl!" as it looked up at Nurse Joy.

"Hello Poliwhirl! Your trainer asked me to look after you and your teammates while he is away, and he asked me to check up on all your health. Could you please walk with me over to the treadmill station?" Nurse Joy asked the Poliwhirl with a warm smile as she pet the top of its damp head.

Poliwhirl happily agreed, and ran ahead of her to the machine. It hopped up to the conveyer belt before Nurse Joy could tell it what to do. Once she caught up, she attached white suction cup like objects onto multiple pressure points on Poliwhirl's body. The suction cups were attached to adjustable strings that monitored the Pokémon's joints while in movement on the treadmill. Nurse Joy grabbed a large remote contol that was in a side compartment of the treadmill. "You ready, Poliwhirl?" she asked, and Poliwhirl nodded.

She held the remote in her left hand as she reached to press the button that activated the treadmill. However, before she could make contact with the button, a large green machine against the nearest wall loudly rang. The machine had a decent sized video screen and a telephone. The screen read Cherrygrove City Pokémon Center. As Nurse Joy read the screen, she asked herself, "Who could be calling all the way from Johto?

Poliwhirl impatiently crossed his arms, but made sure none of the suction cups detached. He watched Nurse Joy pick the phone up, and rolled his eyes, thinking it was typical of a woman to gossip.

Meanwhile, in the Cherrygrove City Pokémon Center

A boy with light brunette hair walked over to a video phone. "Man, I hope he's there…"

As he picked up the phone and dialed a number. His green eyes stared at the screen, hoping someone would pick up. His hair was styled over to the right, but looked neatly done up top. He had a light long sleeved jacket on. The hood and zipper were white, along with the bottom lining. He impatiently tapped his fingers.

Anyone could see the happiness in his eyes once the Pewter City Nurse appeared on his screen, as he did on hers.

"Hello, this is the Pewter City Nurse Joy, how may I help you?" Nurse Joy asked with a hint of questioning in her voice, finding it odd that someone from another region could be calling her so late at night.

"Thank you for answering the video phone, and sorry for bugging you so late. May I ask a question, if it's not too much trouble?"

"No trouble at all. Ask away."

"Alright, I was wondering, is there a Pokémon trainer named Patrick there? I need to speak to him."
"Oh, if you're talking about the trainer that owns that Poliwhirl over there, you missed him by a couple of minutes." Nurse Joy moved over slightly so the boy could see Patrick's Poliwhirl waiting on the treadmill, "He is coming by to pick up his Pokémon later, do you want me to tell him you called?"
"Yes ma'am, I would appreciate it very much! Tell him Cameron called, he'll know by the name who it is. Thank you!" He hung up the telephone, ending the video chat between him and Nurse Joy.

Cameron walked off to nearby couch, excited that he will get to speak to his friend soon. He sat down and picked at lose strings from small rips in his dark blue jeans. "I guess now we play the waiting game."

***

Patrick exited the Pokémon center and walked through the Pewter City streets in a rather cheery mood. He had a designed black hat on. In front of the hat was a design of red spirals and circles, almost looking like smoke. Spread over the design was a black and white skull with bat wings at its sides. The side of the hat had the letter and numbers 'A 7 X' in bold, red text. This same letter and number combination was printed on the back of the hat too. On the corner of the hats bill had the thick white text 'Avenged Sevenfold', the name of the band Patrick was going to see, and what A7X stands for.

To show more representation of the band, he wore a t-shirt that showed the band members if they were skeletons. The front man had the shape of the skull with bat wings in his eyes, as the other four did not. All of the skeletal band members had clothes on, showing the style of clothing they usually wear on stage. And everyone but the front man had hair that matched their current hairstyle. Surrounded in what seemed to be blood splatter, the thick white text 'Avenged Sevenfold' appeared. The back of the shirt showed the tour dates and venues the band were hitting up.

It didn't take Pat a long time to reach his destination. There was a small amount of other Avenged Sevenfold fans at the front doors, along with Patrick. They were all early for the concert, wanting to get good standing area seats. He joined the line, waiting with them for the doors to open.

***

About an hour had passed since Patrick arrived. By then, a large amount of fans had also arrived, most wearing merchandise to represent Avenged Sevenfold. When the doors opened, many people rushed into orderly lines, as they had to go through a one at a time metal detector, to be searched for Poké Balls, or anything that could be harmful to anyone else, or the band. All the metal that was allowed in was lighters, as most fans seemed to have.

Patrick and another amount of fans that had standing section tickets rushed in to get as close to the stage as possible. Those with seating tickets had gotten in line at the merchandise booth.

Chatter was about the crowd goers as the arena finally filled.

"Dude, I can't wait!"
"I'm so ready to record some awesome stuff!"
"Sevenfold! Sevenfold! Sevenfold!"

Patrick shook his fists impatiently for the epic show he was about to see. A curtain had dropped to block the view of the standing section fans. Sounds behind the curtain were the Pewter Arena Tech Crew were sound checking the bands instruments and microphone stands. The check did not take long, as the instrument sounds from the stage stopped.

"Not too long now." Patrick said to himself with an eager smile on his face.

The lights turned off mere minutes after Pat had said that. Everyone who was distracted in conversation stopped to cheer as loudly as they could, along with Pat. The cheering from everyone got louder as the opening Organ began playing for their intro song, Critical Acclaim. The curtain dropped once the guitarists took their place, to start playing their interlude to the song.

To the left of the stage was the left handed rhythm guitarist Zacky Vengeance, with his left leg propped up on a riser. Bass guitarist Johnny Christ stood to the right of the stage, with his right leg propped up onto another riser. In the middle riser stood lead guitarist Synyster Gates, playing his custom guitar, and harmonizing with the rhythm guitarist. The three were calmly playing while the lead vocalist M. Shadows played the organ. However, the breakdown came. The three calm instrumentalists quickly jumped back wards as the vocalist ran to center stage with his microphone stand, with the opening yell. Before the lyrics to the song started, M. Shadows yelled "How we doing tonight Pewter City!"

As the vocalist began singing the lyrics to the song, numerous people were singing along or rocking out.

***

A significant amount of time has passed since the beginning of the concert. Now, the band was about to finish their encore. Patrick was singing along with the final words to the song A Little Piece of Heaven.

"Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, yeah-ah, but baby don't cryyyyyy! Goodnight Pewter City, thank you so much for coming out to see us tonight! We appreciate and love each and every one of y'all! See you next time!" M. Shadows put away his microphone. He, Synyster Gates, Zacky Vengeance, Johnny Christ, and drummer The Rev exited stage, waving the crowd goodbye as they left.

"Whoo! A7X forever!" Patrick yelled, along with other fans.

Soon, everyone began pouring out of the arena. Pat and many others in the mosh pit were exhausted. Most people who lived close walked home, while others who lived further called for the Rapidash, Onix, and Pidgeot transportation lines. Patrick, though heavily exhausted from a rock out overload walked to the Pokémon Center.

Even though it took him a short time to get to the Pokémon Center, it felt like a long time to Patrick. He took his hat off to wipe some sweat away.

When he entered the Pokémon Center, he looked at a digital clock, which read 1:32AM. "Damn it's late! I hope she's still awake."

When he reached the front desk, Patrick let out a huge yawn stretch before hitting the ringer a couple of times. "Are you here Nurse Joy?"

Nurse Joy had fallen asleep in front of her computer. All six of Patrick's Poké Balls were in the tray next to her, signifying that she had finished the task of running the Pokémon physical Patrick had asked for. She jolted up out of her chair when she heard the rude awakening of the ringer. She rubbed the Rheum out from the corner of her eyes and rushed to the front desk with all of Patrick's Pokémon.

"Sorry for being here a couple seconds late, I must have dozed off. But, here are you Pokémon; they are all in top physical condition." Nurse Joy smiled as she placed the tray in front of Patrick.

"Thank you Nurse Joy! I don't know about you, but I'm ready for bed!" Patrick exclaimed as he put all his Poké Balls back onto his belt.

"Well, bed's going to have to wait a couple minutes. You missed a call while you were gone."

"Really? From who?" Patrick was a little confused, since he didn't know anyone who would call him.

"The call was from a boy named Cameron. He seemed pretty kind, and he wanted to speak to you."

"Cameron called? Hell, I haven't heard from that guy in over a year!" Patrick snapped out of his tired trance once he heard his friend's name.

"Well, let me take you over to a video phone. After that, may I show you to one of the extra cabin rooms? There are a few still available." Nurse Joy walked Patrick over to a video phone.

"Yes please, I would love that," Patrick was overjoyed by Nurse Joy's request. "Where did he call from though?"

"From the Johto region."

"The… Johto region?"

Once Patrick and Nurse Joy reached the video phone, he had to pick up the phone while she dialed. He was completely unaware of the great region that lays just West of Kanto. After punching the numbers in, Nurse Joy walked off to the front desk once more, grabbing a key for one of the available rooms.

In the Cherrygrove City Pokémon Center, Cameron was near about to pass out from sleepiness, but the irritable ringing of the video phone woke him up. He excitedly answered the phone, as he and Cameron appeared on each other's screens.

Both boys seemed overjoyed to see each other for the first time in a long time. Patrick immediately started off the conversation.

"Hey Cameron! How have you been man?"

"Good, yourself? I see you went to the Avenged Sevenfold concert. How did it go?"

"Amazing! Awesome set list and I had a great view of the band members. So, why did you call after so long, especially when you knew I was going to the concert for my favorite band?"

"Oh, I was hoping to catch you beforehand, but I'm guessing your ass jolted out too quickly, am I right?"

"Hey, time waits for no man! Though, it was more of getting there early so I don't miss the chance at a good standing section," Pat laughed. "Where are you calling from though? Johto?"

"I knew you'd be clueless." Cameron said with a bit of cockiness, "It's another region. Would you be interested in coming over here?"

"Why would I go to a place I don't know?"

"I see you did lose some of your adventuring spirit after the Kanto League. But, I thought you'd be interested in competing in the Pokémon League over here. The championships take places eleven months from now, so you have a lot of time to travel through the land, collect all the badges, and catch tons of new Pokémon."

"Well, that's true; I haven't done a lot of competitive battling ever since the Kanto League, but, I do think I am ready for another adventure. Alright, you talked me into it! Would you mind if I ask, what have you been doing over there all this time?"

"Oh, I've just been catching Pokémon, raising a new team all that jazz."

"Sounds like you. I've always known you as a good battler, but I know you always liked to do all that Professors Assistant stuff, despite not actually having that job." Patrick laughed a little, "I'll head out tomorrow on my Fearow."

"You should at least figure out where you're going before you jump the gun. Johto is west of Kanto. And, make sure when you get here, that you land in New Bark Town, that's where I will be."

"Okay, I guess I will see you when I see you. Later dude, I have got to get some sleep after that concert."

"Goodnight. See you tomorrow."

Patrick hung up the phone, and the screen went black. When he turned around, he saw Nurse Joy waiting with the key to his room. He walked up to her, "Sorry for taking so long in that phone call. May I be shown to my room now?"

"Yes, and don't worry, it's not a problem at all."

Patrick and Nurse Joy walked down a hallway with cabins numbering one through ten. They stopped at cabin number eight, "Here is your room. Enjoy your stay here, and goodnight."

Patrick closed the door after Joy left, and let out a giant yawn. He placed his hat and belt on a cabinet that was near his bed, but he dropped his shirt and pants on the floor. He crawled in bed, got under the covers, and took one look at his Poké Ball filled belt for one final thought before falling asleep.

"Tomorrow… We start a new journey."
-----
End of Pilot

Since I thought it would be rude to the reader to give them the first installment of a Pokémon fic that barely had any action in it, here is the first chapter, which I recently finished.
Well, this "50000 word limit" is new to me. Chapter 1 will be posted in 60 seconds, so don't rush for a review yet!

-----
Chapter 1

The bright morning sun filled every nook and cranny of Pewter City. Though the place was like a ghost town at night, the morning started off the typical Pewter City metropolitan day. The entire city seemed to be awake and full of life. Patrick, however was a contradiction to the rest of the city, still passed out in his cabin at the Pokémon center. He was snoring loudly, and showed no signs of waking up soon. His Pokémon could hear him from the cabinet. The rest of his team learned to deal with it, but Poliwhirl was getting quite upset with his own lack of sleep, so he managed to let himself out of his Poké Ball.

"Poli? Poliwhirl?" Poliwhirl stepped towards Patrick, shaking him a couple of times in an attempt to wake him up.

Poliwhirl sighed as he stuck his hand out. He fired a blast of water at his trainer. Patrick yelled as he jolted up at this surprise attack. He was soaked from head to toe. He looked angrily down at Poliwhirl as he stood up, "What's your problem!?"

Poliwhirl smacked his head at the trainers forgetfulness. The Pokémon pointed up at the hand clock, which read nine thirty.

"Oh hell, thanks for waking me up Poli! We have to head out to Johto today! You could've used another method of waking me up though. But, at least I'm awake now." Patrick grabbed one of the Poké Balls on the cabinet, letting it out afterwards.

The Pokémon was rather large, it had barely any room to spread its wings. The Pokémon had a long, pointy, and otherwise deadly beak. It also had a vulture like neck, giving off the appearance of a mean and hungry Pokémon. Patrick's Fearow is just the opposite of what most people think. His eyes happily looked down at his trainer as he yelled his name, "Fearow!".

"Haha, good morning Fearow! I hope you had a good night rest. You, me, and the rest of the team have a big day ahead of us. Before that can happen, though, could you please use a light Whirlwind attack to dry me off?" Patrick pet Fearow before asking his request.

Fearow happily agreed. The Pokémon extended his wings with whatever available space there was. He brought them down quicker than anyone could see to create a small gust of wind. Patrick had already prepared himself for whatever was coming, as Fearow would most likely overshoot it. Which, he did. The force of wind Fearow created swept Patrick of his feet, causing him to fall to the ground and crash towards the wall.

Patrick rubbed his back in whatever amount of pain there was. His black hair flipped out in every which direction. "Fearow, I knew you'd go overkill. But, at least I'm dry now!" Pat shared a humorous laugh with both Fearow and Poliwhirl. He returned Fearow to its Poké Ball, placing it back on the cabinet.

Patrick opened one of the cabinet drawers and grabbed a black comb. He turned to Poliwhirl, "Stupid request now that I'm dry, but could you please use a light water gun on my head so I can comb it?".

Poliwhirl took one last look for the humor of Patrick's hair. Poliwhirl pointed his finger towards his trainers head, weakly releasing a small amount of water. Patrick's head was yet again, but he began combing his long hair faster than a stylist. One long bang of hair extended towards the right side of his face, while shorter bangs scattered above his left eye.

Patrick put his dirty shirt and pants from the other night back on. "Man I should get a new shirt and a new pair of pants…" He looked down at a large hole in his right pant leg, and then at his dirty shirt which had collected whatever dust it could while on the ground.

Finally, he put his belt back on, and made sure all six Poké Balls were attached. "Well, I guess it's time to go." He said down to an agreeing Poliwhirl. He placed his hat backwards on his head before exiting the room with Poliwhirl, locking the door on the way out.

As the Pokémon and trainer pair walked by the front desk, Patrick waved goodbye to Nurse Joy. "Thanks for the hospitality!"

"It's my pleasure to help. Remember, if your Pokémon need to heal or you need a place to stay the night, the Pokémon Centers in Johto are the same as the ones here. Enjoy your journey!" Nurse Joy happily said to Patrick before she had to attend to the first person in line at the front desk.

There was quite a few more people in the Pokémon Center compared to the emptiness of the other night, mainly trainers who had vacated other rooms, and others wanting to get their Pokémon healed or examined.

As Patrick exited the Pokémon Center, Poliwhirl seemed eager to get on the road, but he knew Patrick had to make a few pit stops beforehand. The two walked to a Pokémon drugstore. Patrick filled a small shopping bag with items like potions, antidotes, paralyze heals, Poké Balls, whatever was cheap that he and Poliwhirl could get their hands on. At the cashier desk, Poliwhirl couldn't help but to sneak a candy bar or two into the pile of Poké items while Patrick wasn't looking. The boy ended up spending over half the money he had, leaving him with $130.

Poliwhirl happily enjoyed one of his candy bars. Patrick finally noticed while walking what Poliwhirl had done, so he stole the extra candy bar for himself. He enjoyed a laugh with Poliwhirl before reaching their next destination, a clothing department. "No clothes for you Poliwhirl, I'm probably going to spend the last of my money on all this!" Patrick and Poliwhirl laughed at the thought of Pokémon in human clothing.

It took little more than ten minutes for Patrick to find a pair of pants and a shirt that fit him. Surprisingly, he still had some money left, about $50. He bought a medium yellow backpack that was on sale, and a pair of black gloves with light blue padding. Finally, he was spent. He placed all the Pokémon items he had bought earlier into his bag, along with his Avenged Sevenfold shirt, which he refused to dispose of, unlike the pair of pants he wore before. Pat slung the backpack over his right shoulder, exiting the store looking ever so triumphant with Poliwhirl by his side.

The shirt Patrick bought was a simple black shirt with a popped out collar. His new pants were light blue, and the cuffs were folded over the tongue of his white laced black shoes. He looked down at Poliwhirl with Fearow's Poké Ball, "You ready?"

The look Poliwhirl gave him said I thought you'd never ask.

Patrick released Fearow, and climbed on its back. He asked Poliwhirl if he wanted to be inside his Poké Ball or the trip, or if he wanted to stay out. Poliwhirl chose to go inside the Poké Ball as not to risk falling while in the air. Fearow lowered itself so Patrick could step onto its back and get a good grip. He crouched on the beak Pokémon's back with one hand gripped onto the light brown fur that took over Fearow's back. Once Pat instructed it, Fearow flapped his wings until he got high enough in the air to start gliding.

"Alright, it was ten o' clock when we left the clothing store, it shouldn't take us long to get there." Patrick said astride Fearow's back.

***

Fearow showed no signs of being tired after an hour of solid flight. At first, all Patrick saw was mountain top and trees as far as the eye could see. The mountain below him was Mt. Silver, though he was completely unaware.

Finally, Patrick saw different colors. The routes below him, twenty six and twenty seven were empty for the most part. He did see a couple small houses, but they were probably owned by people who wanted to get away from the city life.

"Might not be long now." Patrick said to himself upon seeing a large bridge. The bridge connected from the grassy areas to the exit of a cave. There was two exits from the cave, and they weren't far from each other, separated only by great height.

After he passed over that, Fearow flew for another short thirty minutes. After passing over another forest, Fearow started to show signs of exhaustion. Patrick noticed this. "Fearow, we can land down over there, near that pond," Patrick pointed downwards, "We can rest for a couple minutes. You deserve to rest for a couple minutes..".

Fearow had a sigh of relief after hearing Patrick's words. Fearow descended down to where his trainer had pointed earlier. The brown bird rushed over to the water and drank like a Rapidash at the trough. Pat smiled, proud that his Pokémon had already taken him this far. He decided to let out the rest of his Pokémon team so they could get some fresh air.

Poliwhirl jumped into the pond for a swim. A large, purple armored creature leaned against a nearby tree, just chilling with eyes closed and arms crossed. A bell shaped creature hung from a tree branch with her long, brown vine. Victreebel happily swung back and forth, enjoying the breeze. A large canine that had orange fur and black stripe designs, Arcanine, drank happily at the pond with Tauros, the bull Pokémon.

Patrick smiled at all his Pokémon, but kept on eye on each of them to make sure none of them wandered off into the thick forest. They all seemed to enjoy being outside in a new territory, and he was thinking about how much fun they would all have traveling through the Johto region. Patrick broke out of his trance once he saw Arcanine's ears rise, which meant something was coming that Arcanine didn't trust. The canine then used his excellent jumping capabilities to jump in front of Patrick. Arcanine stared outward, standing in a defensive pose with each hair on his back standing. Patrick looked curiously at Arcanine, wondering what he could sense that everyone else couldn't. Victreebel turned in that direction, while Nidoking stood ready for battle, despite the fact that he couldn't sense anything. All the other Pokémon just stood, waiting for whatever Arcanine was sensing to appear.

Sure enough, a Pokémon came into view. It was as large as it was thick. From afar it looked fat, but the bear Pokémon's body was mainly made up of muscle. It had a yellow ring on its chest, and long claws that could present a threat. The Pokémon deeply growled its name, and it was a Pokémon Patrick has never seen before, an Ursaring. Arcanine growled wildly, ready for a battle. Both Pokémon angrily stared at each other while the rest of Patrick's team walked away, but far enough so they could see the battle.

"Ursaring! Ursa!" The bear Pokémon yelled with its arms raised in the air. It's arms glowed very brightly as it began charging for Arcanine.

Ursaring swung its arms at Arcanine, but the dog Pokémon's speed was greater than that of the bear, easily dodging the Hammer Arm attack. Patrick would have been hit too if he hadn't jumped out of the way.

"Why are you attacking us!?" Patrick asked the Ursaring, but to no avail. It kept rapidly swinging its arms at Arcanine.

After so many dodges by Arcanine, Patrick finally got impatient. "If it's a battle you want…" Despite the fact that he was in a serious situation, Patrick seemed eager for his first battle in awhile, "Take Down!".

Arcanine charged at an incredible speed towards Ursaring. Barely managing to avoid another Hammer Arm, Arcanine hit his mark. Ursaring fell backwards from the impact, but it was far from out.

"Flamethrower!" Patrick commanded Arcanine to use as Ursaring got back up.

The mass of flames emitted from Arcanine's mouth burnt Ursaring, damaging it greatly. It was still standing, but Patrick knew one more hit would knock it down. Arcanine rushed at a high speed once more for another Take Down attack. Ursaring flew back a bit, and didn't get back up once it hit the ground. Patrick retrieved a Poké Ball from his backpack, and ran over to the passed out Pokémon.

"Alright, my first Johto catch!" Patrick said standing above the Ursaring, ready to throw down the Pokémon and catch his first Johto Pokémon. However, as he was getting ready to drop the Poké Ball, a corner of a sign covered by a bush caught his eye. He pushed the bush over to read the sign aloud, "WARNING - Ursaring Territory. Ursaring will attack without caution if someone invades its territory. So that's why it was attacking us, it probably thought we were here to take over its territory. Guess I should leave it alone..." Patrick said disappointingly, his thoughts of catching the powerful Pokémon now crushed.

He walked past the bear towards his Pokémon, and returned all but Fearow. He worriedly rushed to Fearow to climb on its back for liftoff when he saw Ursaring snapping out of its unconscious state. The bear Pokémon growled one more time as Fearow lifted off the ground. It was angry to the point where it attempted to hit Fearow and Pat with a powerful beam fired from its mouth. The attack was so fast, that even Fearow could barely escape. Ursaring dissipated the attack after the Pokémon and trainer left its view. It jumped into the pond to clean itself off from the battle it just loss, but it seemed to forget all the anger.

"That was a close call..." Patrick sighed once he and Fearow were out of danger.

Though Fearow freshened up at the pond, the high hung afternoon sun was beating down both him and Patrick. Patrick sighed, wondering if he will ever reach Johto. "Fearow, I'm going to take a nap. Make sure I don't fall." Despite the danger of falling asleep while so high in the air, Patrick balanced himself on Fearow's back, lowered his head and nodded off to sleep.

However, not too long into his slumber, Fearow exclaimed its name as it steadily descended down to a hill. Patrick didn't wake up after Fearow yelled, so when Fearow landed, he raised his back to let Patrick slide down and hit the ground. "Ouch! Fearow, what was that for?" Patrick asked, holding his head. Fearow pecked at a post sign that was positioned right in front of the town. Patrick read the sign aloud, "New Bark Town, Where the Winds of New Beginnings Blow... All right! We're finally here!" Patrick jumped for joy looking down at the town before him. He returned Fearow to his Poké Ball and slid down the hill. "New Bark Town and new adventure, here I come!"

Patrick aimlessly wandered around the city streets. The town wasn't much larger than Pewter City, nor was it much different. Though, it was still very new to Patrick. After mindlessly bumping into a few people and noticing streets he's already walked on, he decided it was time to get to business. He crossed his arms and began looking around for Cameron, but this serious train of thought didn't last long when he passed by a restaurant. He whiffed in the smell of the food inside the restaurant, and enjoyed it. He rubbed growling stomach, seeing as all the food he has had since the beginning of the day was a candy bar. Starvation took over him, and he entered the restaurant. The food smelled even better inside than it did out.

Patrick got in line, but began to panic when the people in front of him had to pay money, which he had none of. Nevertheless, he didn't leave. Maybe the hunger made him lose any and all logical thought? It wasn't long till he was first in line. The waitress asked him, "How may I serve you today?"

"Um, table for one, please." He mindlessly said, but in the back of his head, he thought 'What the hell am I doing, I have no money!'

"That will be forty dollars please---," Her sentence was cut off when she noticed his belt full of Poké Balls, "Oh, you should have mentioned you were a Pokémon trainer. Pokémon trainers can eat here for free."

Patrick's face lighted up when he heard the words the waitress just said. "Really? Sweet!"

"Let me show you to your table."

The waitress lead Patrick over to an empty booth next to a window. When he sat down, she handed him a device that will buzz when his food is ready. "Would you like a drink while you wait?"

"Yes, a Dr Pepper, please."

The waitress walked to the back and filled up a glass of ice cold Dr Pepper for Patrick. She placed the drink on his table and walked off to other tables that had yet to be served.

Meanwhile, somewhere else in New Bark Town

Cameron paced back and forth impatiently. A small Pokémon with short brown fur was at foot. It wagged its bushy tail back and forth, and its ears twitched occasionally. It sometimes had trouble keeping up with the much bigger trainer, stumbling on weak limbs and tripping a lot. It was an Eevee, and judging by its appearance and actions, it was just a newborn. Eevee's large brown eyes looked up at its trainer when he stopped to ask a question to himself, "Where could he be? He said he would be here in New Bark Town, it's a quarter past twelve, and I haven't seen any sign of him. Come on Eevee, we're going to look for him". He knelt down and held out his hand towards Eevee. The pup happily ran onto his hand, and enjoyed the ride up of Cameron picking it up off the ground. He easily held it in one hand, as the baby Pokémon was no bigger than the trainers hand. He walked off in search for his friend.

Back at the restaurant

Patrick's table was filled with food. Clearly, he was taking advantage of the trainers eat free privilege the restaurant had. The plate filled table had all kinds of food, ranging from burgers and fries to spaghetti and meatballs. He began eating all the food on the table without showing any signs of stopping. He only stop to take a drink of Dr Pepper.

Cameron looked around in all the buildings in case Patrick was in one of them, hoping that he was at least even in the city. He finally saw him through the window while walking by the restaurant. Cameron walked in, and it was obvious that Patrick didn't see him, until Cameron acknowledged him at the table, "So this is the reason for you being late?".

Patrick turned over to him with a mouthful of French fries, "You bet man! This food is delicious!" his words could barely be heard behind all the food.

Cameron laughed and sat across from him. He let Eevee walk onto the table, hoping it would try some of the softer foods. It began nibbling on a slice of bread.

"So, you bred for an Eevee, eh?" Patrick asked, taking a break from his pig out to admire the cute little Pokémon.

"Yep, she hatched just the other night. Luckily, she isn't very shy, unlike her mother Jolteon was when she was just a pup."

"Well, she's very cute. Where are the rest of your Pokémon?" Patrick asked before eating a bread stick.

"I left them all at home, 'cept for Golbat and Jolteon. Jolteon managed to find a mate at a Day Care center, and she produced this egg."

"Why did you take just your Golbat?"

"You'll see later. You almost finished?"

"With this last forkful of spaghetti." Patrick shoved the last bit of food that was on the table.

Patrick and Cameron got up from the table, and Eevee seemed bored with eating the slice of bread. Cameron carried her out of the restaurant, walking along with Pat.

After walking a short distance, the two boys stopped at a local park and sat on a bench. Cameron let Eevee down so it could practice her walking. She stumbled all over herself a couple of times, not yet accustomed to her new legs. Patrick started up the conversation, "So, would you mind showing me what you meant by 'You'll see later' when I asked about your Golbat?" Both trainers watched Eevee

"Because of this." Cameron stood up, and dropped a Pokémon on the ground. When the bright light that appeared whenever a Pokémon is let out disappeared, a tall bat Pokémon floated in the air before Patrick. The Pokémon's body was purple, and its large upper pair of wings were colored blue. Its lower set of wings remained the same color as its body. It had a stubby pair of feet, which its species never used, due to being a flying Pokémon. "Say hello to Crobat, the evolution of Golbat."

Crobat confidently stared at Patrick with its large yellow-red pupil colored eyes. Eevee, as mentioned before to not be shy had no problems with the much larger Pokémon. Eevee sat down but tried to sniff the Crobat's lower pair of wings. Meanwhile, Pat was dumbfounded. He had only seen a few Johto Pokémon so far, so he was still astounded by the creature he had never seen before. However, he still knew it as a Golbat, so Crobat had no problem with Patrick patting its head. "So, Crobat, right?" Patrick turned over to Cameron.

"Yes, he evolved under a different method than Kanto Pokémon do. Golbat evolved out of happiness."

"So now there's new ways to evolve Pokémon? Damn, I've been out of it, haven't I?" Pat asked jokingly, even though he literally was clueless about Johto.

"I guess you have, haha. But, let me show you another Pokémon I recently obtained." Cameron dropped another Poké Ball, but this time a much smaller Pokémon than Crobat appeared. It was still bigger than the infant Eevee, though, who began sniffing this new Pokémon as it did with Crobat.

The Pokémon had a short tail, and short limbs. Around its neck were short, stubby, dark green stubs that spawned vines. Atop its head was a large leaf, which it had the ability to freely rotate. Its red eyes looked up at Patrick, clearly not recognizing him. "Chika? Chikorita?" The Chikorita began walking around Patrick, making sure he could be trusted.

"This is Chikorita, I received him by doing a couple tasks for this regions Pokémon expert, Professor Elm."

"Whoa, that's pretty neat! Wish I could get one, but I already have all six of my Pokémon ready."

"Well, over the phone, you seemed eager for a new adventure. Maybe you could leave your Pokémon with him, make and make a brand new team from scratch? That's the reason why I came here, for new Pokémon, new catches, and new friends."

"Do you really think that would be a good idea?"

"Of course! You get to raise a brand new team to be as strong as the team you have now, and you get to make even more friends." Cameron picked up his Eevee and returned Crobat to its Poké Ball, "Do you want me to introduce you to Professor Elm?"

"I guess so, though I don't know if I'm ready to leave behind all my Pokémon..."

"Well, we'll see what we can do when we get there. Come on Chikorita."

Patrick, Cameron, and Chikorita began walking. It would take a good amount of time before they reached the Pokémon lab, which was all the way on the other side of town.

Meanwhile, inside Professor Elm's Lab

A rather thin and pale man was examining something under a telescope. He was obviously lost in thought, not minding a few of the Pokémon that were running around his lab. One was a small mouse like Pokémon. Its eyes were closed shut, so it tended to bump into a couple things inside the lab a few times. The fur on its body was cream colored, while the fur up top was blue with a green tint. Four red spots were located on its back. Cyndaquil was the name of the Pokémon, but it seemed a little younger than its playmate, Totodile. It resembled a miniature bipedal blue alligator with a red spine. It would blow one bubble, only to jump up and pop it with its powerful jaw and sharp teeth. Every now and then, it would use its razor sharp claws. On a nearby table, a large owl Pokémon was keeping an eye on two, as the owner clearly had no time to watch them himself. The large owl had a head piece that resembled eyebrows. Its fur was a light brown, while its wings and tail feathers were a darker shade. Its chest had six arrow heads pointing downwards, a Noctowl.

Its red eyes followed Cyndaquil and Totodile around, and it remained still during the entire process. However, it flew over to Totodile once the mischievous creature began gnawing at the legs of a table. The table had many thick books on it, and the result would not be good for Totodile if the mass of books fell on it. Luckily, Noctowl swooped miniature Pokémon up by its arms by grabbing them with its sharp talons. Noctowl flew over to the owner, getting his attention by dropping Totodile on the space next to the guy. He took his eye off the telescope to pat Totodile's head, "Totodile, were you up to no good again?". The man smiled to assure the Totodile that he wasn't mad.

He picked up Totodile and Cyndaquil, holding one in each arm. This man, Professor Elm, did not seem to mind small amounts of fur that Cyndaquil was shedding onto his lab coat. Beneath his lab coat was a light blue buttoned shirt with a popped out collar. His shirt wasn't tucked into his green pants, giving off the appearance that he is not orderly. His lab reflected his clothing style, as there was open books and papers scattered everywhere. The only place that seemed to be clean was a table with two Poké Balls on it. "Back in the ball you two go, it's time for a rest." He said letting the two Pokémon back onto the table.

Each Pokémon knew what to do, so Elm didn't have to, each touching the pressure sensor to their subsequent Poké Balls. Elm then placed the Poké Balls onto a machine with six slots, pressing a button to activate it afterwards. Noctowl flew over to a table near the Poké Balls to keep an eye on them, but if fell asleep, thinking they were safe. The professor didn't seem to mind, as he was back to his research.

Meanwhile, right outside a window in Professors Lab...

A red haired boy crouched right outside the window near the machine Professor Elm placed the Poké Balls on. His hair length reached a little past his neck. He was wearing a long sleeved black shirt with red cuffs, red pocket lining, and red zipper lining. He reached his into a pocket in his purple pants, retrieving a Poké Ball. When he opened it, a short yellow Pokémon appeared. Its eyes were similar to Cyndaquil's, closed shut. Despite this, it had no trouble seeing. It moved its tail and looked up at its master, "Abra.". It seemed to ask 'What do you need me to do, master?'.

The boy stared with distain into the lab, but made sure there was nothing that could see him. He put a pair of black gloves from his pocket on, the look on his face showed he was up to no good. "Abra, Teleport me into this building, but behind that machine right there." He pointed to the machine, looking one more time to make sure Noctowl was asleep. Abra also looked in to see where he was going to teleport. Abra nodded, and the boy touched the Pokémon's shoulder. In a white light, they disappeared, only to arrive behind the machine.

He commanded Abra to keep its position. He peeked his head out from the side of the machine, making sure for the third time that no one was there. He reached his hand onto the machine to the Poké Ball slot, where one was being held. He picked it up, but Noctowl woke up to see him stealing the Poké Ball. "Noctowl!" It exclaimed to warn Professor Elm. Noctowl flew over to where the boy was to try and trap him, but he acted quickly by grabbing Abra's shoulder. It teleported without being told to. Once he was outside, he began running as fast as he could. Noctowl didn't bother to wait for Professor Elm to open the window, as the guy arrived at the machine to see Noctowl crashing through the window the boy was outside of.

The boy was being careful about how he moved, he knew that Noctowl was trailing him, but to no success for Noctowl. He had already managed to find a place to hide in an alley way behind a dumpster. He could clearly see Noctowl in midair turning its head to search for him, but he was well hidden. He waited to walk out once the owl Pokémon flew back in the direction of the lab. His trail was completely lost, so he made haste to exit the city.

***

Noctowl, Patrick, and Cameron all arrived at the lab to see police and yellow lines that blocked access into the vicinity. Noctowl flew inside and perched itself upon a table near Professor Elm, who was talking to police officers. Noctowl looked down with an unhappy face, sad about its failure.

"I was just doing some research on Pokémon Evolution when I heard Noctowl speak in a worried voice, which drove me away from my research. By the time I arrived at the scene, Noctowl broke the window to trail whoever stole the Poké Ball. I obviously didn't see who did it, and I guess Noctowl here couldn't track it." Professor Elm's voice sounded a little saddened by the loss of one of the starter Pokémon.

"Do you at least know which Pokémon he stole?" The blue uniformed man sternly asked, writing down whatever Professor Elm was saying.

"Totodile, a water Pokémon. Sorry that I'm unable to provide further information."

"Don't worry, we'll try our best to find the stolen Pokémon."

The police officer exited the laboratory to speak to a few other police at the entrance. Meanwhile, Patrick and Cameron walked up to the entrance. Cameron took the lead, "Excuse me, what happened here?"

"This is a Crime Scene Investigation boy. A Pokémon was stolen, so no one without proper access is allowed in."

"Would a Pokémon previously owned by the Professor himself count as access? Patrick, hold Eevee please."

Cameron handed Eevee over to to Patrick. He held Eevee while Cameron picked up Chikorita, "I received this Pokémon from Professor Elm."

"Well, just as long as it isn't stolen. But to make sure, I'm going to have to escort you two."

Cameron agreed to the police officers logical demand. Both Patrick and Cameron trailed behind him into the lab. Inside, Professor Elm was still grieving about the stolen Pokémon, but he was reassuring Noctowl that it was neither of their fault. He looked a the officer as he stepped in, "Elm, the trainer with this green Pokémon right here claims he received it from you. Is this true?"

Professor Elm was joyous to see Chikorita and Cameron, "Yes, he helped me around the lab and helped me with research, so I thought he deserved a Pokémon of his choosing.".

The officer exited the lab once again. Before Elm could ask any questions, Cameron asked his own. "So, a Pokémon got stolen? Which one?"

"Uh, poor Totodile. I don't know if the trainer who stole it is going to be abusive or not, and that's what I'm worried about most."

"How did it happen?" Cameron asked, as he let Chikorita down to go interact with Noctowl. Patrick remained silent.

"He, or she somehow managed to get inside the lab, teleportation most likely, and stole one of the Poké Balls from the healing machine over there." Professor Elm pointed at the machine, which still had lone Cyndaquil's Poké Ball on it, "Noctowl tried to chase whoever stole it, but wasn't fast enough.". Elm sighed, but his eyes shifted over to an attentive Patrick, "You brought a guest? Is he that Patrick fellow you told me about before?".

"Yes, I am." Patrick intervened before Cameron could speak, "Just for curiosity, would you be able to hand out your last Pokémon?" Patrick asked, looking over at the Poké Ball, then at Elm.

"Of course not, it's the last Pokémon I have here," Elm said, taking a quick glance at Patrick's full belt, "and you already have a full team."

Patrick looked a little disappointed about being shot down like that, but luckily, Cameron had his back. "Patrick here was planning to leave his Pokémon with you. Maybe that would be a good idea. His Pokémon are powerful, fast, and helpful. If they were here, they could help make sure nothing like this ever happens again." Patrick was overjoyed to hear that his friend sticking up for him.

"Well, what kind of Pokémon does he have?" Elm asked.

"Good ones." Patrick said. He placed Eevee on the floor, who had fallen asleep in his arms.

Patrick unleashed all six of his Pokémon. Immediately, Fearow began conversing with Noctowl, and Victreebel interacted with the much smaller Chikorita. Tauros laid down near Eevee, getting to its level. Eevee woke up, but wasn't scared when the first thing it saw was a giant bull. Eevee crawled up on it, laying down on its comfortable mane. Arcanine and Nidoking just stood aside, wondering what Tauros was doing. Poliwhirl happily stood in front of his trainer.

"You really have an interesting set of Pokémon! Especially this Poliwhirl right here, have you considered evolving it?" Elm was interested in all of Patrick's Pokémon, but none more so than Poliwhirl.

"Nope, and I don't plan to, since Poliwhirl doesn't want to be a Poliwrath." Patrick made his point.

The professor walked to a cabinet, searching through one of its drawers. Eventually, he pulled out an item, a rock that resembled a crown. He took it over to Patrick, "What about a Politoed?"

"Poli what?" Patrick questioned, both him and Poliwhirl looking at the King's Rock.

"This item right here is used to evolve Poliwhirl into Politoed, a Johto Pokémon. I'm an evolution expert, and if you take this King's Rock, I'll let you have the remaining Pokémon."

"Really?" Patrick seemed excited, but he knew Poliwhirl wasn't, both of them clueless on what a Politoed is.

"Patrick, this seems like a really good offer." Cameron said before walking over to Tauros and Eevee.

"I guess so, but what about Poliwhirl?" Patrick questioned himself, looking down at Poliwhirl.

Professor Elm was stumped. He put his hand on his chin, trying to think up of a solution. "I got it!" He snapped his fingers, "You two are rivals, correct? How about you two have a battle, Poliwhirl VS a Johto Pokémon of your choice, Cameron."

"That seems like a good idea, maybe seeing how Johto Pokémon battle might convince Poliwhirl! Do you have any objections, buddy?" Patrick asked Poliwhirl, who pumped his fists, "I think we have a battle, Cameron!"

"Alright, it's been awhile since you and I last had a battle. Professor, would you mind if I used Noctowl?"

"Not at all. Noctowl, come." Professor Elm picked up Cyndaquil's Poké Ball, to make sure that it wouldn't be stolen while they were gone.

***

Patrick, Cameron, Professor Elm, and all the Pokémon inside the lab walked out of the lab. By now, the police were gone for investigation. Everyone walked out back, where there was a decent sized field for a Pokémon battle. Professor Elm and all of Patrick's Pokémon, excluding Poliwhirl stood out of the way. Cameron and Noctowl stood on one side of the field with Patrick and Poliwhirl opposite of him.

"So, who goes first?" Patrick asked.

"I guess you can, Patrick."

"Alright! Poliwhirl, use Water Gun!"

"Noctowl, Peck!"

Poliwhirl held his hand out and fired off a spiral of water towards Noctowl. Noctowl's beak glowed very brightly. Noctowl managed to dodge Water Gun, and it attempted to peck Poliwhirl multiple times once it closed in. Poliwhirl dodged as fast as he could, firing off another blast of water whenever he found an opening. One Water Gun drenched and damaged Noctowl, but this did not stop its attack. It managed to hit Poliwhirl, who flew back from the collision.

"Noctowl, use Take Down before it can get back up!"

Poliwhirl recovered from the hit in time to see Noctowl zooming for it.

"Poliwhirl, use it to jump, and use BubbleBeam!"

Poliwhirl held his hand forwards, timing his trainers command very carefully, and successfully. Poliwhirl propelled himself up into the air, giving him a clear shot at Noctowl. Poliwhirl held both his hands out, which glowed as he released a powerful array of bubbles.

"That was a bad move entering Noctowl's domain, Patrick! Noctowl, use Psychic to take care of the bubbles, and then an Aerial Ace!"

Noctowl's headpiece glowed blue, firing off a blue beam that stopped t he bubbles and Poliwhirl in midair. The bubbles popped, and Poliwhirl was unable to use anymore attacks while its body was under control of Psychic. Noctowl then propelled off the ground. Its body became engulfed in white streaks of light. Poliwhirl began to fall once the Psychic attack ended, but now he was unable to dodge the unavoidable Aerial Ace. Patrick had an almost horrified look when Poliwhirl hit the ground after the impact of Aerial Ace. Patrick rushed over to Poliwhirl and helped it up, "You did great buddy!"

"Poli, Poli!" Poliwhirl didn't seem to mind that it lost the match. He enjoyed the short battle with a Johto Pokémon, and he knew he wanted to be one.

Professor Elm walked over to Patrick and Poliwhirl, as Cameron did with Noctowl. "That was a great battle, I was impressed when Poliwhirl jumped up into the air! Here, the King's Rock and Cyndaquil are yours!"

Poliwhirl grabbed the King's Rock and placed it on his head, while Patrick accepted the Poké Ball Professor Elm handed him. "Thank you, Professor Elm!" Patrick said, looking at the Poké Ball.

"I have something else for you. I don't know if Cameron showed you his or not, but would you like a Pokédex and gather data on some Pokémon for me? The more information, the better, I always say!" Professor Elm pulled a rectangular red device from his pocket.

"A Pokédex? I've heard of them, but I never had one. So Cameron has one of these too?"

"You bet I do!" Cameron pulled his Pokédex out of his pocket, which looked exactly the same as the one Professor Elm was about to hand to Patrick.

"Alright, I guess I can collect data. It will be exciting to learn about new Pokémon in ways besides battle!" Patrick accepted Professor Elm's request.

He pressed a button that resembled a Poké Ball. The devices top screen flipped open. The top screen showed an image of the Pokémon with its description, while the lower screen, which was a touch screen, was in box style format. When a known Pokémon in the Pokédex was pressed on the touch screen, the top screen changed to correspond with whatever Pokémon was selected.

"Patrick, I'm going to have to ask you to be very careful with that. It's irreplaceable." Professor Elm couldn't be concerned enough with the Pokédex.

"Alright, I'll be careful with it." Patrick slid the Pokédex into his left pocket, returned Poliwhirl, and attached both of their Poké Balls to his belt. He walked over to his Nidoking, Fearow, Victreebel, Arcanine, and Tauros, "Guys, it has been fun, but if I'm going to start from scratch, I need to start new. Which is why I can only take Poliwhirl, and this new Pokémon with me. I hope you understand, and I wish I didn't have to do this."

Patrick waited for a response from his Pokémon. Nidoking tackled him, but it was a hug tackle. Nidoking affectionately hugged his trainer and let him go after a few seconds. "So you guys aren't angry at all?" He asked his Pokémon, and they all exclaimed their names, saying something anyone could interpret as 'No, not at all'. "I'll be make sure to call as often as possible to check up on you guys, and call you when I need you! Sound like a plan?"

Professor Elm and Cameron watched as Patrick hugged each and every of the Pokémon he was leaving in Elm's care. Cameron turned to Elm, "It's getting late. I had fun battling with Noctowl. I guess I'll see you later.". Professor Elm nodded.

Cameron walked over to Patrick and his Pokémon to get his Eevee, who was still asleep. Eevee woke up once Cameron held her. She slowly blinked a couple of times before curling up in Cameron's arm to fall asleep again. "I guess we're rivals again." He smiled, looking forward to another adventure, "I'm going to head out now. You might want to register for the Johto League at the Pokémon Center.". Cameron and Patrick smiled at each other and hit each others fists.

Elm smiled as the two boys pumped their fists, and as Cameron walked away. He was thinking, 'To think, I'm finally sending out my first trainers out on their journey. Friends. Rivals. Trainers. Whatever they decide to call each other, it all boils down to their friendship and passion for Pokémon. I look forward to seeing these two in the Pokémon League.

Patrick walked over to Professor Elm to give him his five Pokémon's Poké Balls. "Goodbye Professor, take good care of my Pokémon."

"And you take care of that Cyndaquil."

They both shook hands before Patrick departed. He waved goodbye to his Pokémon and said goodbye one last time.

***

Patrick walked back to the bench that he and Cameron were at earlier. He let out both of his Pokémon. Cyndaquil had been sleeping inside the Poké Ball the entire time. He looked around to see his surroundings, and then up at Poliwhirl. It shrieked in fear of the bigger Pokémon and ran away on its hind legs, but over in Patrick's direction. Cyndaquil was still trying to run when Patrick picked him up. He began crying once he noticed he was trapped, but Patrick held it comfortably in his arms, attempting to reassure the small Pokémon that he wasn't a threat. The still fearful Cyndaquil covered his eyes, but began giggling uncontrollably when Patrick began tickling his belly. Cyndaquil flailed his arms and legs about in his giggle fit, but stopped once Patrick stopped tickling him. He put Cyndaquil down on the ground, and then crouched down to the Pokémon's level.

"Cyndaquil, hello. My name is Patrick, I'm your new trainer." He held out his hand, hoping Cyndaquil would shake it.

Curiosity replaced fear. Cyndaquil sniffed Patrick's hand. He didn't seem so sure at first, but Cyndaquil shook his hand regardless, trusting his new trainer. Cyndaquil turned to Poliwhirl, but wasn't fearful with its new comrade the second time. The two made friends with a handshake, and Patrick was happy that his Pokémon already made friends.

"Hey, you two can play for a little while, but not for too long, we need to get back to the Pokémon Center before dark so we can get a room." Patrick said to his Pokémon, petting each of their heads.

The two Pokémon ran off into some nearby grass to play. Patrick attentively watched, but was still happy for both his Pokémon. Soon afterwards, he returned both of them to their Poké Balls, and headed off into the direction of the Pokémon Center.

Meanwhile, Patrick and his Pokémon were being watched from afar by the boy who stole Totodile.

"Hmph, that punk got a Pokémon from Professor while he already had a Pokémon while I couldn't?" He said angrily, looking down at his Pokémon, "Well, I, Kamon, will show him, Elm, and the rest of the world, I will be the best!". He gritted his teeth for a moment before heading off into the direction Route 29 was in.

Little did Patrick know, he already had another rival on his Johto conquest.
-----
End of Chapter 1

Well, there is the first chapter that couldn't be included in the first post. Enjoy :D

Quite an eventful chapter traversing through Route 29.

-----
Chapter 2

Patrick woke up in a Pokémon Center cabin very similar to the one he temporarily vacated in Pewter City. The only changes were that this cabin had no window, so the morning sun couldn't wake Patrick up. The time was eight thirty, and the only one awake in the room was Poliwhirl. Cyndaquil was still sound asleep, albeit Patrick's snoring, which is what woke Poliwhirl up. Poliwhirl decided not to use Water Gun this time, deciding it would be a better idea just to shake his trainer back and forth till he woke up. After a couple minutes of this, Patrick woke up. He looked at Poliwhirl, "Thank you for not using Water Gun this time. Well, I didn't register for the Pokémon League yesterday, so wake up Cyndaquil and tell him it's time to go."

Poliwhirl complied and climbed to the top bunk. He shook his new teammate a couple times, but instead of a couple minutes like Patrick, Cyndaquil was startled. Flames spewed out the four dots on it's back, and a bit of the fire caught the bed sheets. Patrick turned around after putting his hat back on to see both the flame and Cyndaquil. Panicking, he returned Cyndaquil to its Poké Ball and ordered Poliwhirl to douse the flames. After the bit of flames were out, both Patrick and Poliwhirl sighed in relief. If a fire spread inside the Pokémon Center, all the sick Pokémon and vacating trainers would have all been in danger. "Good job Poliwhirl. Come one out again, Cyndaquil." Cyndaquil was let out of his Poké Ball again, he was calmed down now, and his flames were out. Heat was still generated from its back, however, causing Patrick slightly burn his hand when he pet his young Pokémon.

"Well, now that that's out of the way, let's go register for the Pokémon League and get some break feast before we head out." Patrick said, Poliwhirl and Cyndaquil agreeing with him.

Cyndaquil jumped onto the table at the front desk, letting his wandering thoughts lead him. Cyndaquil saw something shiny and began running for it, but Patrick put his hand out to stop Cyndaquil from going anywhere. Cyndaquil didn't know that he wasn't going anywhere, still continuing his running motion. When Nurse Joy reached the front desk, she paid no mind to Cyndaquil, "How may I help you?"

"Hey, can I register for this years Pokémon League here? It slipped my mind yesterday, and I didn't want to leave without doing so." Patrick asked, while Cyndaquil stopped running. He ran up Patrick's arm and climbed onto his shoulder.

"Of course you can! I will just need your name, hometown, age, and Pokédex if you have one. Unless, we can give you a trainer card."

"My name is Patrick Kennedy, my hometown is Pewter City, and I'm sixteen. And, here is my Pokédex." Patrick retrieved his Pokédex from his left pocket and held it to Nurse Joy.

Nurse Joy typed in all the information Patrick told her onto her computer. She took his Pokédex and placed it in an open slot in the computers disc, or in this case, Pokédex slots. "Okay, before this procedure can finish, we're going to need your picture."

Patrick nodded, and walked over to where Nurse Joy directed him. Since the Pokémon Center background was not needed in the photos, a white sheet hung behind where the trainers got their picture taken. "Is it alright if my Pokémon are in the picture? I don't think Cyndaquil wants to leave my shoulder."

"It's alright, just as long as he doesn't get in the way of the photo. Now, stand still and say cheese."

Patrick stayed perfectly still while Nurse Joy took his picture. The camera was linked to the computer, so when the photo was taken, it appeared in the "Place Photo Here" section in the trainer registration window. Nurse Joy clicked the upload button, and the information began streaming to the Pokédex. "You will be ready and registered in a couple minutes." Nurse Joy said, "That is an absolute adorable Cyndaquil you have. Would you mind if I held it?" she politely asked.

"Not at all, here." Patrick smiled as he handed her Cyndaquil.

Patrick just watched on when Nurse Joy began baby talking Cyndaquil instead of rolling his eyes. She knew the Pokémon's tickle spot, and began tickling Cyndaquil's stomach. Cyndaquil giggled uncontrollably, like it did the other day when Patrick tickled it. Patrick question himself, Cyndaquil had a bit of trouble trusting me at first, but he completely trusts Nurse Joy. Maybe he's just a little pervert?. The computer beeped, which meant that the uploading was done. Patrick's Pokédex ejected from its slot, all information loaded. Nurse Joy gave Cyndaquil and the Pokédex back to their owner, "Congratulations, you are now officially a registered Pokémon trainer in the Johto League! Enjoy your travels through here, and have a nice day!" Nurse Joy said with a sincere smile that all Nurse Joy's have.

"Thanks you Nurse Joy! Have a good day too! Before my Pokémon and I go though, could you tell me if there are any eateries near? We are starving!" Patrick said, as him, Cyndaquil, and Poliwhirl all rubbed their growling stomachs.

"Normally, there is an eatery that serves Pokémon trainers for free, but they're closed on Sundays. You can have break feast here though, we have an expert chef that can cook you whatever you order from the menu." Nurse Joy pointed to a corner in the Pokémon Center where there were a couple tables and a swinging door that lead into the small kitchen where a delicious smelling aroma was emitting from, "It's free, and he does cook up a good meal. He also serves bowls of Poké food, if your Pokémon are hungry too."

"Thank you again Nurse Joy! I wish all Pokémon Centers had mini-restaurants." Patrick shared a short laugh with Nurse Joy before rushing over to an empty table.

A couple of tables also seated trainers with their Pokémon. Patrick waited patiently for the chef to come out and take his order. To his surprise though, it was actually a Pokémon.

"Mr. Mime! Mime Mime Mime Mime Mime?" Anyone could translate what the Mr. Mime was saying, May I take your order?.

"Um," Patrick looked at the menu, wondering what we was going to have, "I'll have the triple pancake special, including both hash browns and sausage links. I'll also have two slices of bread, one toasted with grape jelly. And, a side of bacon, please. I'm guessing my Pokémon will just have whatever Pokémon food you're serving. Can you make one of the bowls be made with softer Pokémon food for Cyndaquil here?"

Mr. Mime nodded as he finished writing down Patrick's order. After a fifteen minute wait of seeing Mr. Mime tend to other peoples orders and serving their food, Patrick finally got his. Mr. Mime left a container of syrup, a bottle of ketchup, and a pepper container on the table. Patrick began salivating over all the food, as did his Pokémon. He let his Pokémon eat some of his food too, in case they wanted any. Cyndaquil took the non toasted slice of bread and one of the pancakes back to his bowl, but Poliwhirl was just fine with the food he had. But to be nice, Patrick chopped up one of the sausage links and mixed it in with Poliwhirl's food. The three happily ate, enjoying each taste that met their taste buds. After their stomachs were filled, they left the Pokémon Center.

"So, where do we go from here?" Cyndaquil burped from the food he ate, apparently he ate a little too much.

Patrick wandered around, wondering where the hell he had to go. After walking off the calories he ate, he finally saw the path that led to Route 29. "I wish somebody had told me that." Pat shrugged it off that neither Cameron or Professor Elm told him where he had to go from there. But, once he reached his destination, he knew he had a long walk ahead of him.

After walking around in circles for a little while, Patrick sat down against his tree and let his Pokémon run free. Poliwhirl was conversing with some of the local wild Pokémon, while Cyndaquil was innocently playing in the grass. Patrick thought that this would be a good opportunity to try out his Pokédex, but all of the Pokémon were ones he had seen already, such as Rattata and Pidgey. "He should have told me there were repeats here." He sighed, deciding to obtain Rattata and Pidgey's Pokédex data. The Pokémon didn't seem to mind being scanned, only taking eventual looks at the trainer obtaining their data.

After a few minutes of play, Cyndaquil found itself in battle. Patrick barely noticed, but rushed over to Cyndaquil's side when he did. He was in battle against a Rattata, which was managing to hold its own against Cyndaquil. All Patrick could do was tell his battle inexperienced Pokémon to do is dodge and tackle, but Cyndaquil didn't disappoint. After managing to get a good hit in, Rattata ran away like a coward. Cyndaquil ran after it, and Patrick after both of them. Rattata ran up a nearby tree, but Cyndaquil still attempted to hit it. He dived in for one more tackle on his prey, but instead of hitting it, he hit the tree. Hard. "That had to hurt." Patrick crouched down and made sure Cyndaquil was okay. All he had was a bump on the head, which he began crying over. "It's okay Cyndaquil, it's just a bump--- wait, what the hell is that?"

Patrick's attention directed to a large brown Pokémon that fell out of the tree. It pushed itself up with its short wings. Its large red eyes glared at both Patrick and Cyndaquil with great anger. It hopped over on one leg, revealing the other when it had to keep balance. It began complaining at the trainer Pokémon pair. Patrick didn't seem to mind that he was getting complained at by a Pokémon, because it was one he had never seen before. He grabbed his Pokédex out of his pocket, and Cyndaquil stopped crying when he let it down. When he scanned the Pokémon, he read the description that showed up, "Hoothoot, the Owl Pokémon. It begins to hoot at the same time every day. Some trainers use them in place of clocks."

"So, a Hoothoot ey?" Patrick said, looking at it.

Hoothoot seemed angrier than before that its complaints weren't getting through. It began pecking ferociously at Patrick, and he blocked for all his worth from the agonizing pecks. Poliwhirl watched from afar as Patrick was under attack, so he fired off a water gun attack in Patrick's direction. Afterwards, he continued to converse with the wild Pokémon, paying no attention to his excellent marksman skills, as water gun drenched Hoothoot. Even though it was angrier now, at least it was off the attack for the moment. Cyndaquil ran over to his trainer and stood in front of him, ready for battle.

Flames erupted from Cyndaquil's back, showing that he was ready for a real battle. Hoothoot charged in for a Tackle attack, and Cyndaquil did the same. They both collided in mid air, and each received the same amount of damage. The process of Tackle attacks continued for a couple more turns, and both Pokémon were getting tired of the constant collisions. Patrick thought to himself, Got to think up of a strategy. They will both end up being knocked out if this keeps up.... He snapped his fingers once he thought up of a strategy, "Cyndaquil, before Hoothoot hits you again, drop down and use Tackle once it's above you!"

Cyndaquil knew exactly what to do. When Hoothoot charged with another Tackle, Cyndaquil dropped to the ground. Once Hoothoot, who at this point couldn't change direction was above Cyndaquil, the fire mouse Pokémon jumped upwards, hitting Hoothoot dead on. Hoothoot launched a couple feet into the air, "Alright Cyndaquil, wait for it to drop to use another Tackle!".

However, Cyndaquil had other plans. He disobeyed his trainer by firing off a stronger attack. The fire on Cyndaquil's back grew as it prepared for a fire attack. He stood on his hind legs, and his tiny chest expanded as he inhaled. When he exhaled, a fury of fiery bolts hit Hoothoot. When the owl Pokémon hit the ground, it was unconscious. "Alright, good Ember Cyndaquil!" Patrick applauded his Pokémon's performance that dealt more damage than the attack he commanded to use was going to.

Patrick jammed his hand into his backpack to retrieve a Poké Ball. This time, his first Johto catch was going to be for real. He threw the sphere at the wild Pokémon. It opened when it made contact, causing Hoothoot to be absorbed into the ball in a red light. The Poké Ball closed and dropped to the ground. The pressure sensor blinked red as the ball shook side to side. Patrick stared at it with patience, knowing the two possibilities. Hoothoot could either overpower the Poké Ball, escape, and the battle would drag on. Or, the ball would stop moving, which would mean he has made his catch. The second possibility was the one that Patrick predicted. Patrick had the excitement in his eyes any trainer would, experienced or new when he caught what he wanted to. He picked up the Poké Ball and raised it in the air, "Alright, I caught a brand new Pokémon!".

Cyndaquil enjoyed the moment with his trainer, jumping in the air continuously. Patrick sat down with his Pokédex and Poké Ball. He pressed the button that activated it, and tried to find a way he could check what moves Hoothoot knows, and its gender, stats, anything information that would help him learn more about his new Pokémon. He held the Poké Ball under the top end of the Pokédex, fiddling around with the buttons. When he finally pressed a certain button, the top screen said "Activating Scanner Mode". The green light on the top plate of the Pokédex scanned the Poké Ball a couple times. The lower screen showed the results of the scan.

"Let's see the moves... Peck, Hypnosis, Foresight, and Tackle. Gender, female. This is a good catch. Hoothoot, welcome to the team!" Patrick exclaimed.

He let Hoothoot out of her Poké Ball to interact with her new team mate. She was weakly standing as a result from the battle, and Cyndaquil was looking a little beaten too. Patrick grabbed a potion out of his backpack and sprayed an equal amount on each Pokémon, making sure he got areas where they mainly hit each other. The effects were already beginning to show. Hoothoot was able to stand up without falling over, and Cyndaquil
s boundless energy was restored. Hoothoot was no longer angry with Patrick, but she ignored him when he tried to pet her, preferring to interact with Cyndaquil. After a little more playtime, Patrick slammed his fist into his hand, deciding it was time to get to business.

"Poliwhirl, Hoothoot, and Cyndaquil, come over here right now! It's time for some training." Patrick's voice was stern, so each of his Pokémon knew he was serious. Each of them stood in front of him ready for a demand. "Hoothoot, you lived in this area before I caught you, correct? I want you to take Cyndaquil to areas where he can train on some of the wild Pokémon, go ahead and get some training yourself. Poliwhirl will follow you and jump into battle incase either of you gets overpowered. Is this clear?" All three of this Pokémon nodded in response to his command, "Alright, fan out! I'll keep close for supervision."

Just like that, Cyndaquil and Poliwhirl followed Hoothoot. The bird knew her way around pretty well. Soon enough, Cyndaquil was unleashing his attacks on any wild Pokémon Hoothoot directed him to. Patrick followed them, close enough behind to rush in if either of the three Pokémon needed a Potion, but far enough so they did not need to depend on him for command. Wild Pokémon managed to get a hit in on Cyndaquil here and there, but the experience of the Pokémon battles he was in began to show.

***

After beating down many opposing Rattata, Pidgey, and even wild Hoothoot, Cyndaquil finally needed a break. Patrick rushed over to Cyndaquil, easily noticing that the Pokémon had fought one too many wild Pokémon. The afternoon sun beating down on it surely wasn't helping his condition. "Cyndaquil, take a break if you want. Take as long of a break as you want, you deserve it for all the hard work you've done." Patrick picked up an overjoyed Cyndaquil, the Pokémon's exhaustion prevented him from jumping.

Patrick used another potion from his bag on Cyndaquil's wounds and bruises. His damage was now non existent, but he still needed to rest all the same. While Cyndaquil slept under a nearby tree, Patrick offered a Hoothoot a Potion, but she denied. Poliwhirl hadn't gotten in any battle action, so he didn't require to be healed. Instead, he just stood guard near Cyndaquil. Patrick still kept a vigilant eye on his Pokémon, though they needed no supervision. Not even Hoothoot, who was aimlessly flying around the area.

Meanwhile, near the area Patrick was resting...

Kamon was traversing through a grassy area with Abra and Totodile. Both Pokémon seemed equally damaged, showing that he had not been using Potions to heal them. Totodile collapsed to take a nap against his trainers wishes, so trainer decided to cut him some slack. He returned the Pokémon to its Poké Ball, but showed pure disappointment in his eyes when doing so. "Weakling. Rest while you can... Abra, lets try to find more Pokémon to train on."

Abra nodded, not wishing to disobey his trainer. Abra seemed a little confused on where to go, but Kamon pointed him in the direction of a tall patch of grass that was sure to house Pokémon. Kamon trailed behind as Abra searched around. After minutes of searching through the grass, the Psi Pokémon encountered a Sentret, the scout Pokémon. Sentret was completely unaware that it had just been found. It was standing its hind legs, meaning it was off guard. Abra crept up behind it ready to strike. However, Sentret's whiskers reacted in time, warning the Pokémon that danger was upcoming. Abra jumped towards Sentret with his hand curled into a fist, but the scout Pokémon turned its body around with its paw raised in the air, striking Abra with all it had. Once Abra hit the ground, Sentret ran as fast as its stubby arms and miniature feet let it.

Abra whimpered in the pain but slowly got back up. Kamon crouched and returned Abra to his Poké Ball. "You should have been faster." He rudely remarked, though he knew nothing could be done.

He angrily power walked in the direction Sentret ran in.

Back with Patrick and his Pokémon

Hoothoot settled down to stare off into the distance, while Cyndaquil was just beginning to wake up from his nap. Patrick happily watched his almost recovered Cyndaquil, but both his and Hoothoot's attention diverted when the Sentret ran out into the area they were staring.

"I've never seen that Pokémon before, lets catch it! Hoothoot, Peck before it gets away!"

Sentret, thinking it was safe, turned to see Patrick's Hoothoot fly towards it. Hoothoot pecked at it multiple times, giving it no time to react. Kamon had walked in on time to see Hoothoot damaging the Sentret he was trailing. "Hmph, I might as well catch it so I have something that can battle." He said while retrieving a Poké Ball from his pocket, unknowingly that Patrick was about to do the same.

Patrick got his Poké Ball out in time, only to see another one be tossed at Sentret from the direction it came from. He watched with disappointment wondering what the odds were as the Poké Ball stopped shaking. Kamon stepped out ignoring an annoyed Hoothoot as he picked the Poké Ball up.

"Hey kid, that was my catch!" Patrick pointed at Kamon. Hoothoot flew back and stood by Patrick's side, ready for battle.

"So? I'm the one who threw the Poké Ball first. Losers weepers, winners keepers." Kamon coldly stated with the same cold look in his eyes. He only recognized the trainer once he witnessed Cyndaquil waking up from his slumber. He kept a shocked look from overtaking his face, thinking to himself, 'I don't believe it, he's that kid who got his Pokémon from Elm! Dammit, I've got to keep it cool so he won't act suspicious.'

Kamon was distracted in that thought for a moment, so Patrick asked, "Anything wrong?"

"Uh, nothing. Nothing at all. Sorry for capturing the Pokémon you were after." He approached Patrick, keeping back all the resentment he had towards him.

"I guess it's okay, but would you mind if I scanned it for data with my Pokédex?"

'He has a Pokédex too? What else did Elm give him!?' He thought, but answered quickly to Patrick's question. "Of course." He released Sentret from its Poké Ball, though it seemed sad at the loss of its freedom in Route 29.

Patrick crouched down to scan Sentret. It stayed still during the entire process, only looking up when it heard Patrick's voice read its description, "Sentret, the Scout Pokémon. A very cautious Pokémon, it raises itself up using its tail to get a better view of its surroundings. Gender, female. Moves known, Tackle, Scratch, Defense Curl, Quick attack. You've got yourself a good Pokémon there! Would you mind a Pokémon battle?"

"Sure, but do you have a Potion I can use? Your Hoothoot damaged Sentret badly."

"Sure, here you go." Patrick tossed a Potion too Kamon.

Sentret seemed a little happier now that she was healed. Kamon stood a little ways back to give a battlefield to Sentret, thinking to himself, 'Alright, I'll leave after I beat this fool.

"You can start." Patrick calmly said. Cyndaquil awoke to see the battle unfold between the two boys.

"Scratch." Just then, Kamon seemed to lose a little bit of the faked calmness in his voice.

"Counter with a Peck attack!"

Both Pokémon charged at each other with all their might. When Hoothoot got near, Sentret raised her paw and released her small claws. She then brought her paw down onto the owl Pokémon, damaging it greatly. However, Hoothoot recovered quickly from Scratch, pecking at Sentret as strong as she could. Unlike the previous battle when she was wild, Sentret fought back. She swung her small claws rapidly at Hoothoot when she found an opening. When Hoothoot hit the ground, she hit it hard. She struggled to get back up with much encouragement from her teammates and Patrick.

"Sentret, win the battle with a Quick Attack before Hoothoot gets back up!"

Despite all the cheering she was receiving, she was swiftly defeated when Sentret hit her after running at an incredibly fast speed. Patrick wasn't in shock at all despite the fact that he'd just lost the second trainer battle he's had since coming to Johto. He picked Hoothoot up to her feet and walked over towards the victorious trainer, holding his hand out for a friendly handshake, "That was a good battle, congratulations on winning. I guess I need to train a little more.".

Kamon seemed a little confused that the trainer he put no effort into beating was asking for a handshake, but he shook Patrick's hand nonetheless. He forced a smile before speaking, "Hey, I'm a little confused here."

"Confused? About what?" Patrick curiously asked, tilting his head a little.

"We've had a Pokémon battle with each other upon meeting, you've even given me one of your Potions. But, we still don't know each other by name." Kamon said, hoping he could leave this otherwise agonizing situation soon after, "My names Kamon."

"My names Patrick. Nice to meet you. So, you want to stay for some training? That's what I'm planning to do.

"No thank you, I have to get going to the next town."

With that, Kamon turned around with Sentret and left. Once he was far away, he began talking to himself in angry fit, "I hope I never have to do that again, acting nice was agonizing. Especially to that weakling."

Sentret, though still sad that she had to leave her home now, still attempted to cheer her new trainer up. She tried to get Kamon's attention by tugging on his pant leg and calling out to him. He ignored what his Pokémon was trying to do. Eventually, she stopped his motion by grabbing his pant leg and not letting go, but he shot a cold glare at her before returning her back into the Poké Ball. He jammed the Poké Ball back into his pocket and kept walking.

***

After Kamon left, Patrick healed Hoothoot with one of the last Potions left in his bag. Hoothoot was a little disappointed in herself for losing that match, but Patrick made sure she knew that he wasn't angry that she lost. She cheered up and flew over to her comrades. Patrick watched Poliwhirl converse with Hoothoot, he knew what Poliwhirl was saying. "Don't worry, that's just one loss, but you will get stronger, guaranteed." Patrick quietly said in English as opposed to Poliwhirl's Poké talk.

Cyndaquil was awake and full of energy, flames spewing out his back once more. Patrick walked over to his Pokémon, "Alright, you guys up for more training?". All three Pokémon jumped for joy with fists pumping, "Alright, but Cyndaquil, this time you come in to help Hoothoot if she needs it. Let's get moving!"

The three Pokémon mobilized, searching through every bush, behind every rock, and through every blade of grass for more wild Pokémon. As expected, the routes main population consisted of Rattata and Pidgey. Despite the repetitive process of beating down the same two species over and over again became tiresome, the Pokémon battled regardless.

***

A couple hours had passed since Patrick and his Pokémon began training again, this time without break. The afternoon sun had certainly taken its toll on the Pokémon and their trainer. The lack of clouds in the sky didn't help their conditions either. Hoothoot and Cyndaquil even became too tired for battle, so Patrick had no other choice then to return them to their Poké Balls. On the other hand, Poliwhirl was a okay. Whenever he started feeling hot, he cooled himself down with a Water Gun attack. Though this idea would work for Hoothoot, it would do more harm than good to Cyndaquil, who wanted to train more than anything. Patrick asked himself, 'Who am I to take that away from him?'. He sure didn't want to find out.

"Phew... Poliwhirl, I need to rest. It's getting way too hot." Patrick wiped away sweat from his forehead before stumbling over to a nearby tree that provided just enough shade for him.

Poliwhirl followed his heat beaten trainer and chilled under the shade with him. He offered Patrick a Water Gun, but Patrick politely declined. If his Pokémon couldn't be cooled off, neither could he. But, Patrick did have a request for his Pokémon.

"Poliwhirl, could you climb to the top of this tree and see if there's anywhere better to rest?"

Poliwhirl nodded. Patrick had to give a helping hand for Poliwhirl to get up into the tree. On the way up, Poliwhirl saw a couple Pokémon taking refuge on the branches of the tree, including some Hoothoot. It was day time, so the nocturnal Pokémon were knocked right out. Poliwhirl decided not to bother them, to avoid another situation like the one earlier when Patrick caught his Hoothoot. Once Poliwhirl got to the top of the tree, he shielded his eyes from the bright sunlight. He scouted out a couple larger trees that would be better than the one his trainer was under, but something caught his eye, a building that was within walking distance.

"Poliwhirl, anything?" Patrick asked.

Poliwhirl jumped down from the tree instead of climbing back down it. Even though the building wasn't yet in view, Poliwhirl pointed in the direction it was in. Patrick didn't exactly know what his Pokémon was saying, but at this point, he was ready to do anything if it meant better shade.

Eventually, the building came into view. Patrick smiled and ran towards it, hoping it wasn't an illusion. He felt the brick wall to make sure it was real. There was a sign up top of the building that read 'Route 29 Rest Station - Rest Here With Your Pokémon'. Upon entrance, Patrick and Poliwhirl immediately felt better. The place was very large, but the air conditioning unit could cool down anyone who entered the building. To the center side was the man who ran the building. Behind him was a refrigerator. The man greeted Patrick as he approached, "Hello tired trainer. Is there anything you or your Pokémon need?"

"Yes please, I need to know which direction the next town is in, and I was wondering if I could have bowls of water for my Pokémon."

"Yeah, just give me a couple minutes. The next town is Cherryrgove City, just a couple more miles east of here. While you wait, go ahead and let your other Pokémon out. It's hot as hell outside, the air-conditioning will do them good."

Patrick took advantage of the mans offer. He let Cyndaquil and Hoothoot out from their Poké Balls. As soon as they were out, they felt as good as Patrick did when he entered the building. They were delighted to have something refreshing to drink after all the training. Their second break was much better than their first. Cyndaquil drank his bowl of water as fast as he could, while Hoothoot drank hers like a civilized Pokémon. Afterwards, Cyndaquil fell sound asleep, better than the break before. Hoothoot flew around the ceiling, where all the good air conditioning was. Poliwhirl just chilled against anything he could, like he usually does.

The man who ran the rest stop walked up to Patrick, "You must be new here to the Johto region. Do you know your way around?"

"No, I don't, but I think I can rely on instinct to get me where I need to go."

"Well, that will get you lost. Here, I have something that can help you."

"What, a town map?"

"No, better," the man retrieved a grey machine from his pocket and handed it to Patrick, "It's called a PokéGear. I ordered one from Silph Company thinking it would be useful, but I don't really do anything with it. Maybe it will serve more of a purpose to you."

Patrick grabbed the machine and began fiddling with it as he did with the the Pokédex earlier. It didn't take long for it to activate. It turned on when Patrick pressed the black button to the side of the screen. The green light below the screen lit up whenever another action on the PokéGear was activated. Three yellow buttons were placed directly below the screen, which activated its other functions. The screen showed something different each time one of the yellow buttons was pressed.

The first screen, without pressing any of the buttons showed what day it was and the current time. When the first button is pressed, a mini-map of the Johto region popped up, and it showed the trainer where he or she was currently. The second button activated the phones secondary main function, a phone. One out of ten contacts could be selected, though the list was still empty. The final button on this grey machine acted as a radio and mp3 player. The options were either 'LOCAL RADIO STATION' or 'PLAY Mp3 FILES - 0/500 LOADED'.

"This is a pretty sweet device!" Patrick exclaimed, amazed by the fact that the man was just giving him this device, "Are you sure you want to give it away though? This thing can fit five hundred Mp3's."

"Nah, I don't need it, I already got a radio and a computer with speakers that has some damn good CDs loaded onto it. Do you want me to upload a couple albums onto it?"

"Well, let me see your collection first before I can decide. I'm a little picky with my music."

The man and Patrick walked over to his desk and computer. Instead of showing Patrick the list of CDs he had on his computer, he let the trainer go through his CDs, incase there were any that weren't on his computer already.

Patrick made a stack of all the CDs he liked, saying them aloud without noticing, "Master of Puppets by Metallica, City of Evil by Avenged Sevenfold, Thriller by Michael Jackson, The Crimson by Atreyu," he continued on for a couple more minutes until the pile of CDs he wanted was complete.

When the man searched through the stack of CDs Patrick chose to see if he had them on his computer, he said, "Kid, you have a damned good taste in music. I don't run into a lot of kids anymore who like the music you do." He said with a smile. "Alright, I have all these CDs on my computer. It will take a few minutes for all these CDs to load to the PokéGear. Meanwhile, you can go outback with your Pokémon. There's not a lot back there, just the tail end of Route 46. You can get a little training."

"Thank you man! I wish I could still remember meeting people as nice as you. Thanks again!"

Patrick rushed out back with his Hoothoot, realizing that the man was serious when he said there isn't a lot. It contained patched of grass and a very steep rock hill, too impossible for anyone, even Pokémon to climb. Scampering through the grass were the common sight of Rattata, but there was also the Rock Pokémon, Geodude, which was nothing more than a small round rock with arms coming from its sides. The pre-evolution of Fearow, the Tiny Bird Pokémon Spearow caught his eye. Another Pokémon that caught his attention that he knew was Jigglypuff, the Balloon Pokémon. Patrick decided to leave the Pokémon alone, as they seemed to be enjoying themselves.

However, he still let Hoothoot go out into the grass patch to play with the Pokémon, and she was accepted by most, all but a wild Spearow. Patrick supervised the battle, but trusted her to win by herself. Spearow was battling with strategy, using its speed to deal damage to Hoothoot. After getting a couple good hits in on Hoothoot, she got a little angry. Before the Spearow was able to hit her again, her eyes glowed blue, and an invisible wall appeared before her. Spearow hit the wall dead on, knocking it back. The wall disappeared as Hoothoot's eyes ceased to glow for her to use a Tackle attack. Patrick recognized the attack she used, reflect. He was proud of the progress she made since he caught her.

"Come on Hoothoot, we're going back inside to see how the guys doing!"

When they walked back in, the Mp3 uploading process was almost finished. "Hey, your training didn't take that long. Most of the Mp3's are loaded, only a few more seconds to go."

Patrick walked over to the desk. He thanked the man again before putting the PokéGear back in his pocket. He left right afterwards, waving him goodbye. Cyndaquil, now more rejuvenated than before, and Poliwhirl followed him while Hoothoot flew overhead.

***

Patrick had only made a few more short training stops before continuing, to try out Hoothoot's Reflect attack. It seemed to work, and he was even more proud of Hoothoot than he was before. At one of the training stops, Cyndaquil got jealous that Hoothoot was getting a little more praise than he was.

"Alright guys, this is the last training stop. I can tell you're tired. Even you, Poliwhirl. Hoothoot, I want you to battle that group of Rattata over there."

"Hoothoot!" She said, flying over for the last major battle of the day.

She had no problem knocking out a few of the Rattata, but their numbers took some advantage. Despite this, Hoothoot battled them with great strength. With her Reflect and Tackle attack combo, she finally knocked out the last of them.

"Alright Hoothoot, I'm proud of you! Let's go--- wait, watch out!" Patrick exclaimed as something jumped out from behind a tree stump for Hoothoot.

The Pokémon that was jumping out to battle Hoothoot was a Raticate. Its short whiskers indicated that it was a female. By the time Hoothoot turned around, it was already to late for her to use Reflect. The Raticate opened her mouth and bit down on Hoothoot with all the power in her jaw, a Hyper Fang. She tossed Hoothoot, only to ram the owl Pokémon with a Quick Attack.

Hoothoot was unconscious, and damaged greatly. Patrick got concerned and returned her to her Poké Ball before any more damage could be done. Raticate slowly and threateningly walked towards Patrick and his remaining Pokémon, ready for attack. Patrick, Cyndaquil, and Poliwhirl slowly walked backed away.

"Why are you attacking us? What did we do?" Patrick asked, but the question didn't get through to the angered Raticate.

Poliwhirl grabbed his pant leg really quick and pointed at the Rattata. It took Patrick a couple seconds to realize, but the group of Rattata that Hoothoot defeated were the Raticate's litter. "Sorry! We thought that was just a group of random Rattata! We didn't know!" Patrick tried to reason with it, but still to no avail.

Poliwhirl jumped in front of Patrick, ready for a battle. But, to both his and Poliwhirl's surprise, Cyndaquil jumped in front of both of them, flames spewing out like never before.

"Cyndaquil, do you think you can handle this?"

"Quil!" Cyndaquil squeaked, taking a defensive battle pose as Raticate stopped moving.

"Alright, Poliwhirl, stand aside, this is Cyndaquil's turn to fight."

Poliwhirl obeyed his trainers command, standing by his side.

"Alright Cyndaquil, use Ember!"

Cyndaquil shot dozens of flame bolts out of his mouth, hoping they would make contact with the more powerful Raticate. Raticate easily evaded Ember by using Quick Attack. Cyndaquil continued to release continuous Ember attacks at wherever he saw Raticate, but she hit him dead on. She jumped back, ready for another attack as Cyndaquil got up.

"Try Tackle once she gets close!"

Raticate charged with another Quick Attack. Cyndaquil tried to hit her when she got near, but she countered him by spinning in a circle. Her tail hit Cyndaquil, knocking him onto his back. Raticate attempted to use Hyper Fang. She succeeded, scraping his back leg. The damage caused Cyndaquil to have a bit of a limp when he got back up.

"Darn it! Cyndaquil, return, you're no match for her!" Patrick attempted to return Cyndaquil to his Poké Ball, but he dodged the red beam and looked back at him with a look that said 'I'm not going to give up!'. Patrick honored his Pokémon's request, "Alright, use Ember if she gets near."

Raticate charged for Cyndaquil. When she got near, he disobeyed his trainers command. Instead, he charged for Raticate at the same speed she was going. Any attempt now for Raticate to dodge was useless, she was too close to Cyndaquil. She got knocked onto her back. Instead of waiting for his trainers command, Cyndaquil fired a powerful Ember attack as Raticate got up. She was hit dead on with the fiery bolts. Despite the attack onslaught, Raticate wasn't down yet.

"Cyndaquil, use Quick Attack again to finish the match!"

Cyndaquil exclaimed his name as a victory cry after he slammed Raticate once more. Finally, Raticate was unable to battle, and Cyndaquil was proud of himself for winning while at a disadvantage. Patrick ran over to his Pokémon and congratulated him, but the celebratory moment stopped, "Alright, I should have enough Potion left for you, Raticate, and her litter."

Patrick got to work quickly. He sprayed Cyndaquil's wound first of all. He squealed a little from the stinging, but soon got over it. Afterwards, Patrick picked up Raticate and brought her over to the litter. All of the litter was already awake and ready to attack, despite the fact that they had already been wounded from Hoothoot. They angrily stood in defensive positions when Patrick put Raticate down, though a couple ran up to their mother, telling her to get up and defend them. The ones who were brave enough to do that scurried away to the rest of the litter when Patrick sprayed Raticate with the Potion. "Alright, it will take a few seconds for your mother to wake up, but let me spray you with Potion, it will heal you."

Unlike their mother, Rattata actually listened to reason, because they were pretty much powerless and couldn't do anything. One by one, Patrick sprayed the last of his Potion on the Rattata. Since their battle wounds weren't as serious as Raticate's, only a bruise here and there, they healed quickly. Soon enough, they were back to energetically running around, just in time for their mother to wake up. When she saw Patrick, she got ready to attack, but all the Rattata playfully tackled her to the ground, which assured her that her litter was safe and sound.

"Is everyone here okay?" Patrick asked, still a little concerned about the wild Raticate's battle wounds.

Raticate lost her anger after he said that. One of the Rattata ran up to Patrick to thank him for healing, so he pet the small Pokémon before setting her back down in front of her mom. When Patrick noticed that Raticate didn't jump for him, he pet her on the head before leaving. Once the trainer got back to his Pokémon, all the Rattata got back to their playful tendencies.


"Alright, return Cyndaquil, I don't want you walking on that leg. Let's finally leave for Cherrygrove."

This time, Cyndaquil had no problems in being returned. Patrick re attached the Poké Ball to his belt, and continued off with Poliwhirl to their destination.
-----
End of Chapter 2

I only read the first to chapters because of time issues, but from what I read it sounds pretty good. It's a little bit generic trainer but it does have the ability to be spiced up.

Just a tiny bit of critique:

It seems like happily is used a lot. It is unnecessary in most of the parts where you put it and slows the flow a little bit.

Ex. Nurse Joy happily smiled

Click to expand...

For one, it's smiled happily, and it isn't needed. Nurse Joy smiled would have done the exact same thing. Sometimes minimal words is the best way to go.

On the corner of the hats bill had the thick white text 'Avenged Sevenfold', the name of the band Patrick was going to see, and what A7X stands for.

Click to expand...

You don't need to explain that part, people will get it themselves.

Also you seem to put the character's name in almost every sentence. It kind of makes it repetitive while you could just as easily say he, she or it. We can understand that the he relates to Patrick when it does. It just makes it more flowing and easier to read.

Keep it up though =]

Dutchesse said:

I only read the first to chapters because of time issues, but from what I read it sounds pretty good. It's a little bit generic trainer but it does have the ability to be spiced up.

Just a tiny bit of critique:

It seems like happily is used a lot. It is unnecessary in most of the parts where you put it and slows the flow a little bit.



For one, it's smiled happily, and it isn't needed. Nurse Joy smiled would have done the exact same thing. Sometimes minimal words is the best way to go.



You don't need to explain that part, people will get it themselves.

Also you seem to put the character's name in almost every sentence. It kind of makes it repetitive while you could just as easily say he, she or it. We can understand that the he relates to Patrick when it does. It just makes it more flowing and easier to read.

Keep it up though =]

Click to expand...

Finally, a review.

But, yeah, I know I did that in the Pilot a little bit more than I should have, but it's something I overlook without knowing when I'm writing a chapter, along with typical spelling mistakes.

And, yeah, I was actually thinking of leaving the A7X acronym out, but lack of sleep = lack of logic, haha.

But, yeah, along with the name-in-every-involved-sentence, I'm definitely going to work at that.

Anyways, thanks for the critique :D

And about the "spiced up" part, that just might be a challenge. Personality is my weakness when it comes to writing, but that's not gonna stop me.

I'll have just enough time to review the pilot, which is something I've been wanting to do since yesterday (:

My overall comments are that the starting was good, because you painted the picture of the setting in the reader's mind. The story was very obviously planned out. However, a few things you may consider trying to improve on are the grammer and vocabulary of the story. Other than that, this has the potential to be an interesting and unique OT fic, you'll just have to give the characters (main/secondary) more depth imho.

To reflect the moon's light, the street lights around the haven were on to illuminate the empty city streets.

Click to expand...

Do check for punctuation errors.

The young man's black eyes peered at Nurse Joy until she answered him.

Click to expand...

Peered doesn't seem to fit well in this sentence, because Joy was standing right in front of Pat. Try to use a more fitting word like, gazed, scrutinized, observed etc.

"My name is Patrick. Could you run a physical on them while I'm away? Later!"

Click to expand...

I feel that 'Later!' should have been separated from this sentence since he could be doing different actions when saying "My name is... while I'm away?" and "Later!". For example :

"My name is Patrick. Could you run a physical on them while I'm away?" The boy inquired quickly before deciding that there would not be a need to wait for an answer.

"Later!" Patrick eagerly jolted out of the Pokémon Center....

Click to expand...

Poliwhirl happily agreed, and ran ahead of her to the machine. It hopped up to the conveyer belt before Nurse Joy could tell it what to do. Once she caught up, she attached white suction cup like objects onto multiple pressure points on Poliwhirl's body. The suction cups were attached to adjustable strings that monitored the Pokémon's joints while in movement on the treadmill. Nurse Joy grabbed a large remote contol that was in a side compartment of the treadmill.

"You ready, Poliwhirl?" she asked, and Poliwhirl nodded.

Click to expand...

Usually when we start speech, we'd start from a new paragraph. Also, 'she asked, and..' could be better phrased I think. Maybe something along the lines of 'she asked Poliwhirl, who nodded with enthusiasm in response'

She held the remote in her left hand as she reached to press the button that activated the treadmill. However, before she could make contact with the button, a large green machine against the nearest wall loudly rang.

Click to expand...

I think it should be 'rang loudly'.

Poliwhirl impatiently crossed his arms, but made sure none of the suction cups detached. He watched Nurse Joy pick the phone up, and rolled his eyes, thinking it was typical of a woman to gossip.

Click to expand...

I like how you started to give Poliwhirl a character here, instead of making him another mindless Pokédrone (:

Meanwhile, in the Cherrygrove City Pokémon Center

A boy with light brunette hair walked over to a video phone. "Man, I hope he's there…"

As he picked up the phone and dialed a number.

Click to expand...

'Meanwhile' isn't the best word here, since it means that something was happening simultaneously at the same time Nurse Joy went to pick up the phone. This isn't possible because Cameron was the one calling o.o; You should use 'Earlier on, in the Cherrygrove Pokemon Center'

"Hello, this is the Pewter City Nurse Joy, how may I help you?" Nurse Joy asked with a hint of questioning in her voice, finding it odd that someone from another region could be calling her so late at night.

Click to expand...

It sounds slightly unnatural. How about, 'Nurse Joy asked, her voice sounding slightly questioning.' ?

"Alright, I was wondering, is there a Pokémon trainer named Patrick there? I need to speak to him."

"Oh, if you're talking about the trainer that owns that Poliwhirl over there, you missed him by a couple of minutes." Nurse Joy moved over slightly so the boy could see Patrick's Poliwhirl waiting on the treadmill, "He is coming by to pick up his Pokémon later, do you want me to tell him you called?"

Click to expand...

Leave a space between the first speech and second speech, it makes it look neater :3

Cameron walked off to nearby couch, excited that he will get to speak to his friend soon. He sat down and picked at lose strings from small rips in his dark blue jeans.

"I guess now we play the waiting game."

Click to expand...

Separate the speech from the paragraph :3

Patrick exited the Pokémon center and walked through the Pewter City streets in a rather cheery mood. He had a designed black hat on. In front of the hat was a design of red spirals and circles, almost looking like smoke. Spread over the design was a black and white skull with bat wings at its sides. The side of the hat had the letter and numbers 'A 7 X' in bold, red text. This same letter and number combination was printed on the back of the hat too. On the corner of the hats bill had the thick white text 'Avenged Sevenfold', the name of the band Patrick was going to see, and what A7X stands for.

Click to expand...

Try not to repeat words, instead, try using thesaurus.com, it helps out a lot (:

'The corner of the hat's bill had the thick, white, text of 'Avenged Sevenfold', imprinted on it. That was the name of the band Patrick was going to see. The boy was also going to discover what A7X stood for.'

Take note not to spam commas (I do that a lot of times too ><; ) Instead, break up a long sentence when you see one.

About an hour had passed since Patrick arrived. By then, a large amount of fans had also arrived, most wearing merchandise to represent Avenged Sevenfold. When the doors opened, many people rushed into orderly lines, as they had to go through a one at a time metal detector, to be searched for Poké Balls, or anything that could be harmful to anyone else, or the band. All the metal that was allowed in was lighters, as most fans seemed to have.

Click to expand...

See above.

Chatter was about the crowd goers as the arena finally filled.

"Dude, I can't wait!"

"I'm so ready to record some awesome stuff!"

"Sevenfold! Sevenfold! Sevenfold!"

Click to expand...

I like how you included the crowd, instead of just focusing on Pat alone. Do take note to leave a spacing between the speeches!

Patrick shook his fists impatiently for the epic show he was about to see. A curtain had dropped to block the view of the standing section fans. Sounds behind the curtain where the Pewter Arena Tech Crew were sound checking the bands instruments and microphone stands. The check did not take long, as the instrument sounds from the stage stopped.

Click to expand...

Remember to proofread your fic for spelling errors.

The lights turned off mere minutes after Pat had said that. Everyone who was distracted in conversation stopped to cheer as loudly as they could, along with Pat. The cheering from everyone got louder as the opening Organ began playing for their intro song, Critical Acclaim. The curtain dropped once the guitarists took their place, to start playing their interlude to the song.

Click to expand...

Minutes actually sound too long to be 'mere' in my opinion ^^; 'seconds' seems to fit in better.

'The curtain dropped once the guitarists took their place, starting to play their interlude to the song.'

To the left of the stage was the left handed rhythm guitarist Zacky Vengeance, with his left leg propped up on a riser. Bass guitarist Johnny Christ stood to the right of the stage, with his right leg propped up onto another riser. In the middle riser stood lead guitarist Synyster Gates, playing his custom guitar, and harmonizing with the rhythm guitarist. The three were calmly playing while the lead vocalist M. Shadows played the organ. However, the breakdown came. The three calm instrumentalists quickly jumped back wards as the vocalist ran to center stage with his microphone stand, with the opening yell. Before the lyrics to the song started, M. Shadows yelled "How we doing tonight Pewter City!"

Click to expand...

Loads of repeated words here. Again, refer to thesaurus.com to find alternate words that hold the same meaning as 'riser', 'playing', 'propped' etc. Using a variety of descriptive words will make the fanfiction more interesting.

As the vocalists began singing the lyrics to the song, numerous people were singing along or rocking out.

Click to expand...

M. Shadows is the lead vocalist, so I would imagine that the other band members for harmonizing or something at the back too XD;

"Cause everybody's gotta die sometime, yeah-ah, but baby don't cryyyyyy!" the talented lead singer belted out the final words of the song with intense emotion and spirit.

Goodnight Pewter City, thank you so much for coming out to see us tonight! We appreciate and love each and every one of y'all! See you next time!" M. Shadows put away his microphone. He, Synyster Gates, Zacky Vengeance, Johnny Christ, and drummer, The Rev exited stage, waving the crowd goodbye as they left.

Click to expand...

Separating the statements and describing them separately would be a better action in this case, since it is the final song, I believe you should emphasize on it. Also, after M.Shawdows says good bye, I think you should describe his actions/tone of voice with more depth instead of just saying 'he put away his microphone'.

Soon, everyone began pouring out of the arena. Pat and many others in the mosh pit were exhausted. Most people who lived close walked home, while others who lived further called for the Rapidash, Onix, and Pidgeot transportation lines. Patrick, though heavily exhausted from a rock out overload walked to the Pokémon Center.

Click to expand...

Cute <3

Even though it took him a short time to get to the Pokémon Center, it felt like a long time to Patrick.

Click to expand...

Sounds very contradicting. And in this sentence 'he' and 'Patrick' sound like two totally different people o.o; Try 'even though it was a short distance from the Pokémon Center, Patrick felt as he had been walking for far too long.

When he entered the Pokémon Center, he looked at a digital clock, which read 1:32AM. "Damn it's late! I hope she's still awake."

Click to expand...

'.. he looked at a digital clock that read 1:32AM.'

The comma seems 'extra' here.

"Well, let me take you over to a video phone. After that, may I show you to one of the extra cabin rooms? There are a few still available." Nurse Joy walked Patrick over to a video phone.

Click to expand...

Nurse Joy sounds slightly robotic here. You're making her sound polite, yes? :3 In this case, I think 'After that, I'd be glad to show you...' sounds more suited, the 'may' seems inappropriate, like Joy is trying too hard to sound nice.

"Yes please, I would love that," Patrick was overjoyed by Nurse Joy's request.

"Where did he call from though?"

Click to expand...

Two totally un-linked questions, you should separate them.

Once Patrick and Nurse Joy reached the video phone, he had to pick up the phone while she dialed. He was completely unaware of the great region that lays just West of Kanto. After punching the numbers in, Nurse Joy walked off to the front desk once more, grabbing a key for one of the available rooms.

Click to expand...

'He picked up the phone while she dialed'

'He was completely unaware of the great region that lay just West of Kanto'.

The whole pilot was in past tense, so using 'lays' doesn't fit in here.

In the Cherrygrove City Pokémon Center, Cameron was near about to pass out from sleepiness, but the irritable ringing of the video phone woke him up. He excitedly answered the phone, as he and Cameron appeared on each other's screens.

Click to expand...

'near' and 'about' imply the same thing, so you should just use 'about to pass out' instead of 'near about to pass out'.

I'm slightly bothered about how Cameron quickly changed from sleepy to excitable so fast. You could maybe try adding in 'upon realising that it was probably Patrick returning his call...' as a form of a link between that explains clearly why his energy level changed so fast.

Patrick hung up the phone, and the screen went black. When he turned around, he saw Nurse Joy waiting with the key to his room.

He walked up to her, "Sorry for taking so long in that phone call. May I be shown to my room now?"

Click to expand...

Spacing between speeches :3

"Tomorrow… We start a new journey."

Click to expand...

Appropriate, concise ending.

In depth review, ftw.


Anyways, for the punctuation errors, I know, I've got quite a few of them, but I will remain more vigilant over them.</should have not gotten F's in English classes in younger tween years>

Peered doesn't seem to fit well in this sentence, because Joy was standing right in front of Pat. Try to use a more fitting word like, gazed, scrutinized, observed etc.

Click to expand...

Peered wasn't really one of the words I looked up the definition for at dictionary.com, haha. Thanks for that suggestion, though. I shall put it into more effect than I usually do in the next chapters.

I feel that 'Later!' should have been separated from this sentence since he could be doing different actions when saying "My name is... while I'm away?" and "Later!".

Click to expand...

Hell, I didn't even think of separating "Later" from the rest of the sentence, but I'm pretty sure I made a mistake similar to that in chapters 1 and 2.

Usually when we start speech, we'd start from a new paragraph. Also, 'she asked, and..' could be better phrased I think. Maybe something along the lines of 'she asked Poliwhirl, who nodded with enthusiasm in response'

Click to expand...

Thanks for that, another thing I'm pretty sure I've done in other posted chapters.

I think it should be 'rang loudly'.

Click to expand...

Proper word placement, got it.

I like how you started to give Poliwhirl a character here, instead of making him another mindless Pokédrone (:

Click to expand...

That's where I put a little bit of my own personality into him XD
But, yeah, I want to stray away from mindless Pokemon that only attack and obey. That's why in chapter 2, Cyndaquil disobeyed twice, doing another attack out of instinct right after.

'Meanwhile' isn't the best word here, since it means that something was happening simultaneously at the same time Nurse Joy went to pick up the phone. This isn't possible because Cameron was the one calling o.o; You should use 'Earlier on, in the Cherrygrove Pokemon Center'

Click to expand...

Oy, I'm definitely going to watch out for the meanwhile thing.

It sounds slightly unnatural. How about, 'Nurse Joy asked, her voice sounding slightly questioning.' ?

Click to expand...

more word placement kinda stuff I'll work at.

Leave a space between the first speech and second speech, it makes it look neater :3

Click to expand...

Another thing I probably oops'd on in the other posted chapters.

Separate the speech from the paragraph :3

Click to expand...

k

Try not to repeat words, instead, try using thesaurus.com, it helps out a lot (:

'The corner of the hat's bill had the thick, white, text of 'Avenged Sevenfold', imprinted on it. That was the name of the band Patrick was going to see. The boy was also going to discover what A7X stood for.'

Take note not to spam commas (I do that a lot of times too ><; ) Instead, break up a long sentence when you see one.

Click to expand...

Hell, I didn't even notice that I repeated design so much XD
Comma spam is something I know I do, but I've already been watching out for it.

I like how you included the crowd, instead of just focusing on Pat alone. Do take note to leave a spacing between the speeches!

Click to expand...

I didn't even notice that I didn't press enter twice in between those short sentences. Maybe Word was tripping or something? lol

Remember to proofread your fic for spelling errors.

Click to expand...

Darn typo escaped my eye :(

Minutes actually sound too long to be 'mere' in my opinion ^^; 'seconds' seems to fit in better.

'The curtain dropped once the guitarists took their place, starting to play their interlude to the song.'

Click to expand...

Thanks, I've never really described a song I've seen live before XD;

Loads of repeated words here. Again, refer to thesaurus.com to find alternate words that hold the same meaning as 'riser', 'playing', 'propped' etc. Using a variety of descriptive words will make the fanfiction more interesting.

Click to expand...

*bookmarks thesaurus.com*

M. Shadows is the lead vocalist, so I would imagine that the other band members for harmonizing or something at the back too XD;

Click to expand...

I didn't even notice that error, but it does sort of make sense. The rest of the members in A7X are total mic-hogs XD

Separating the statements and describing them separately would be a better action in this case, since it is the final song, I believe you should emphasize on it. Also, after M.Shawdows says good bye, I think you should describe his actions/tone of voice with more depth instead of just saying 'he put away his microphone'.

Click to expand...

At the moment, I couldn't really think up of anything better, but I'll work at mini-writer blocks like that in the future.

Cute <3

Click to expand...

I had a little trouble thinking up of good Kanto transport Pokemon, but thanks, I almost wasn't going to do it XD

'.. he looked at a digital clock that read 1:32AM.'

The comma seems 'extra' here.

Click to expand...

I swear I'm going to take off the comma key XD

Nurse Joy sounds slightly robotic here. You're making her sound polite, yes? :3 In this case, I think 'After that, I'd be glad to show you...' sounds more suited, the 'may' seems inappropriate, like Joy is trying too hard to sound nice.

Click to expand...

Robotic-ness, must improve on that.

Two totally un-linked questions, you should separate them.

Click to expand...

moar to watch out for.

'He picked up the phone while she dialed'

'He was completely unaware of the great region that lay just West of Kanto'.

The whole pilot was in past tense, so using 'lays' doesn't fit in here.

Click to expand...

I wasn't even aware of that, thanks for quoting it.

'near' and 'about' imply the same thing, so you should just use 'about to pass out' instead of 'near about to pass out'.

I'm slightly bothered about how Cameron quickly changed from sleepy to excitable so fast. You could maybe try adding in 'upon realising that it was probably Patrick returning his call...' as a form of a link between that explains clearly why his energy level changed so fast.

Click to expand...

Error on my own part there, I didn't know I wrote both words. Probably the write one word - distraction - write different word kinda thing.

Spacing between speeches :3

Click to expand...

I'm going to tattoo that on my arm.

Appropriate, concise ending.

Click to expand...

It sounded a little cliché to me, haha.

My overall comments are that the starting was good, because you painted the picture of the setting in the reader's mind. The story was very obviously planned out. However, a few things you may consider trying to improve on are the grammer and vocabulary of the story. Other than that, this has the potential to be an interesting and unique OT fic, you'll just have to give the characters (main/secondary) more depth imho.

Click to expand...

Thanks for that comment and the entire review :3

Like I said, I'm going to watch out for what I said I would. Thank you for the review again!

The rest of his team learned to deal with it, but Poliwhirl was getting quite upset with his own lack of sleep, so he managed to let himself out of his Poké Ball.

Click to expand...

If I'm not wrong, Poliwhirl was an 'it' in the pilot o.o; So do clarify the gender and how you'll address a Pokemon, if not it'll be really confusing for the reader.

Poliwhirl smacked his head at the trainer's forgetfulness. The Pokémon pointed up at the hand clock, which read nine thirty.

Click to expand...

Do take note of your punctuation :3

Where is the hand clock? What colour is it? In order to be able to paint a better picture in the reader's mind, I'd suggest that you include minor details for these slighty significant objects (and very detailed descriptions about important objects/people)

The Pokémon was rather large, it had barely any room to spread its wings. The Pokémon had a long, pointy, and otherwise deadly beak. It also had a vulture like neck, giving off the appearance of a mean and hungry Pokémon. Patrick's Fearow is just the opposite of what most people think. His eyes happily looked down at his trainer as he yelled his name, "Fearow!".

Click to expand...

Don't mix present tense with your past tense O: 'Patrick's Fearow was just the opposite of what most people thought'.

I believe it should be 'looked down happily'. The action, then the description, if you know what I mean (:

Patrick rubbed his back in whatever amount of pain there was. His black hair flipped out in every which direction.

Click to expand...

o.o; 'whatever amount of pain'? Doesn't sound very fitting to me.

'every which direction' also doesn't sound quite right, I think 'every possible direction' would be a better choice. Just a suggestion, of course :3

As the Pokémon and trainer pair walked by the front desk, Patrick waved goodbye to Nurse Joy.

Click to expand...

Woah, wait, so he didn't return the cabin key to Nurse Joy? Do remember to include small but significant actions in your story, if not some parts may not fit well with each other.

At the cashier desk, Poliwhirl couldn't help but to sneak a candy bar or two into the pile of Poké items while Patrick wasn't looking.

Click to expand...

Hoho, nice one, Poli XD

The look Poliwhirl gave him said I thought you'd never ask.

Click to expand...

Hmm, I think it'd be better if you italised the last part of the sentence. Like, "The look Poliwhirl gave him said 'I thought you'd never ask.'. "

Fearow showed no signs of being tired after an hour of solid flight. At first, all Patrick saw was mountain top and trees as far as the eye could see.

Click to expand...

If he saw just one mountain top, it should be 'a mountain top', if it was more than one mountain, I think that 'all Patrick saw were mountain tops' fits.

The brown bird rushed over to the water and drank like a Rapidash at the trough.

Click to expand...

I like this simile, haha.

Victreebel happily swung back and forth, enjoying the breeze

Click to expand...

Swung back and forth happily. Remember, action, then elaboration on said action (:

The canine then used his excellent jumping capabilities to jump in front of Patrick.

Click to expand...

Jumping capabilities to jump? Yup, here's where you should really consider putting an alternate word, because the sentence looks unnatural.

After so many dodges by Arcanine, Patrick finally got impatient. "If it's a battle you want…" Despite the fact that he was in a serious situation, Patrick seemed eager for his first battle in awhile, "Take Down!".

Arcanine charged at an incredible speed towards Ursaring. Barely managing to avoid another Hammer Arm, Arcanine hit his mark. Ursaring fell backwards from the impact, but it was far from out.

"Flamethrower!" Patrick commanded Arcanine to use as Ursaring got back up.

The mass of flames emitted from Arcanine's mouth burnt Ursaring, damaging it greatly. It was still standing, but Patrick knew one more hit would knock it down. Arcanine rushed at a high speed once more for another Take Down attack. Ursaring flew back a bit, and didn't get back up once it hit the ground.

Click to expand...

The battle seemed too short for me, it lacked description about the movements of Arcanine and Ursaring, as well the the feelings (the seering pain they felt rip through their torso, the adreneline rushing through their veins, etc) of the Pokemon themselves. Usually, a battle scene would take longer (though I understand that Arcanine is probably a really powerful guy), even a wild Pokemon one (:

"WARNING - Ursaring Territory. Ursaring will attack without caution if someone invades its territory. So that's why it was attacking us, it probably thought we were here to take over its territory. Guess I should leave it alone..." Patrick said disappointingly, his thoughts of catching the powerful Pokémon now crushed.

Click to expand...

You should break up the sentence here.

"WARNING-...territory." Patrick read aloud.

"So that's why..."

Anyway, I liked the idea on why the Ursaring suddenly attacked Patrick. Its innovative, unlike the usual 'I'm a wild Pokemon so I attack for no particular reason/I'm a wild Pokemon so I attack because I'm provoked by you' scene. This is good.

It jumped into the pond to clean itself off from the battle it just loss, but it seemed to forget all the anger.

Click to expand...

Lost, right? Oh, and why did Ursaring calm down so fast? o.o

"Um, table for one, please." He mindlessly said, but in the back of his head, he thought 'What the hell am I doing, I have no money!'

Click to expand...

I lol'ed xD;

"Yep, she hatched just the other night. Luckily, she isn't very shy, unlike her mother, Jolteon, was when she was just a pup."

Click to expand...

The previous paragraph, the Eevee was referred to as an 'it'.

Do be careful, separate the name from the subject. Like, 'This is my friend, Tom, who is...' or 'This is my Mudkip, Larry.'

She stumbled all over herself a couple of times, not yet accustomed to her new legs.

Click to expand...

She was born around a week ago, correct? Her legs wouldn't be 'new', in my opinion, so you can choose to leave that word out.

He was wearing a long sleeved black shirt with red cuffs, red pocket lining, and red zipper lining.

Click to expand...

Woah, too much red o.o

He picked it up, but Noctowl woke up to see him stealing the Poké Ball.

Click to expand...

How did Noctowl wake up? Maybe you could say that he 'just so happened to wake up' or that the boy made a small noise that caused the owl to become awake.

"This is a Crime Scene Investigation, boy. A Pokémon was stolen, so no one without proper access is allowed in."

Click to expand...

A crime scene investigation boy. A young boy who investigates crime scenes? Haha. So yeah, having and not having a comma there could potentially change the whole meaning of the sentence, so do take note :3

Patrick looked a little disappointed about being shot down like that, but luckily, Cameron had his back. "Patrick here was planning to leave his Pokémon with you. Maybe that would be a good idea. His Pokémon are powerful, fast, and helpful. If they were here, they could help make sure nothing like this ever happens again." Patrick was overjoyed to hear that his friend sticking up for him.

Click to expand...

I liked this. I was wondering what Pat would do with his old team. Much better than storing them into the PC D:

Poliwhirl held his hand out and fired off a spiral of water towards Noctowl. Noctowl's beak glowed very brightly. Noctowl managed to dodge Water Gun, and it attempted to peck Poliwhirl multiple times once it closed in. Poliwhirl dodged as fast as he could, firing off another blast of water whenever he found an opening. One Water Gun drenched and damaged Noctowl, but this did not stop its attack. It managed to hit Poliwhirl, who flew back from the collision.

"Noctowl, use Take Down before it can get back up!"

Poliwhirl recovered from the hit in time to see Noctowl zooming for it.

"Poliwhirl, use it to jump, and use BubbleBeam!"

Poliwhirl held his hand forwards, timing his trainers command very carefully, and successfully. Poliwhirl propelled himself up into the air, giving him a clear shot at Noctowl. Poliwhirl held both his hands out, which glowed as he released a powerful array of bubbles.

"That was a bad move entering Noctowl's domain, Patrick! Noctowl, use Psychic to take care of the bubbles, and then an Aerial Ace!"

Noctowl's headpiece glowed blue, firing off a blue beam that stopped the bubbles and Poliwhirl in midair. The bubbles popped, and Poliwhirl was unable to use anymore attacks while its body was under control of Psychic. Noctowl then propelled off the ground. Its body became engulfed in white streaks of light. Poliwhirl began to fall once the Psychic attack ended, but now he was unable to dodge the unavoidable Aerial Ace. Patrick had an almost horrified look when Poliwhirl hit the ground after the impact of Aerial Ace. Patrick rushed over to Poliwhirl and helped it up, "You did great buddy!"

Click to expand...

Still not as long as expected. You should probably detail the attacks more. (You didn't tell the reader what exactly Noctowl did 'Aerial Ace' only that he somehow managed to damage Poliwhirl a great deal)

He waved goodbye to his Pokémon and said goodbye one last time.

Click to expand...

That doesn't sound quite right o.o; Maybe 'He waved farewell to his Pokemon and said 'goodbye' one last time' ?

Little did Patrick know, he already had another rival on his Johto conquest.

Click to expand...

Another suitable ending~


Overall comments are that it was fairly interesting, not too boring, but neither did it make me sit at the edge of my chair ^^; Of course, this is just the beginning so the plot is just barely starting, am I right? (: I also have just that tiniest bit of curiousity about Kamon and his character. This chapter was also written before I reviewed, so that's why there's probably some mistakes. I didn't bring up the previous things that I mentioned that you'll need to improve on (repetitive words, comma-spam, word-placings and sentence structure), because of that reason too :3 (there were quite a few that I didn't quote)

I'll be looking forward to the upcoming chapters.

i read everything! It seems like a very good hack..But i need to know. Is it a full hack..By that i mean EVERYTHING is different etc etc..And can you send me a download link for them please?(if there finished) thanks :D

woah how long did it take to do so much typing

Nugget said:

i read everything! It seems like a very good hack..But i need to know. Is it a full hack..By that i mean EVERYTHING is different etc etc..And can you send me a download link for them please?(if there finished) thanks :D

Click to expand...

I don't think this is a hack, Nugget. It's a fanfic, otherwise it would be in the hacks section. Just skimming over the thread, I don't believe Lash said anything about it being a hack. If you did, Lash, forgive me.

And Lucar10, you're spamming. /minimod Lash, I'll review this when I have time, huh? Pinkyswear.

Nugget said:

i read everything! It seems like a very good hack..But i need to know. Is it a full hack..By that i mean EVERYTHING is different etc etc..And can you send me a download link for them please?(if there finished) thanks :D

Click to expand...

o_0
Not a hack at all. Like Sparking Dragon said, it would be in the ROM Hacking section if it were one.

Sparkling Dragon said:

I don't think this is a hack, Nugget. It's a fanfic, otherwise it would be in the hacks section. Just skimming over the thread, I don't believe Lash said anything about it being a hack. If you did, Lash, forgive me.

And Lucar10, you're spamming. Lash, I'll review this when I have time, huh? Pinkyswear.

Click to expand...

I don't forgive, I forget. Who are you again?
Haha, jk.
And, I can't wait for the review. :D I've been looking forward to one all week.

Finally I get time to review Chapter 2 :3

Cyndaquil was still sound asleep, albeit Patrick's snoring, which is what woke Poliwhirl up.

Click to expand...

Used in the right context, but I'm not so sure if you used it in the right way. The sentence seems slightly off.

Albeit
–conjunction although; even if: a peaceful, albeit brief retirement

So maybe 'even through Patrick's snoring' would fit better here.

"Thank you for not using Water Gun this time. Well, I didn't register for the Pokémon League yesterday, so wake up Cyndaquil and tell him it's time to go."

Click to expand...

Wake Cyndaquil up, I believe :3

"Good job Poliwhirl. Come one out again, Cyndaquil." Cyndaquil was let out of his Poké Ball again, he was calmed down now, and his flames were out. Heat was still generated from its back, however, causing Patrick slightly burn his hand when he pet his young Pokémon.

Click to expand...

Spellcheck, Lashy :3 And that second part may have to be rephrased as 'causing Patrick to be slighty burned"

"Well, now that that's out of the way, let's go register for the Pokémon League and get some break feast before we head out." Patrick said, Poliwhirl and Cyndaquil agreeing with him.

Click to expand...

Was that deliberate?

Cyndaquil jumped onto the table at the front desk, letting his wandering thoughts lead him. Cyndaquil saw something shiny and began running for it, but Patrick put his hand out to stop Cyndaquil from going anywhere. Cyndaquil didn't know that he wasn't going anywhere, still continuing his running motion. When Nurse Joy reached the front desk, she paid no mind to Cyndaquil, "How may I help you?"

Click to expand...

Haha, Cyndaquil's antics were oh so cute! <3

Hmm, there are alternative ways to address Cyndaquil, I'm sure that I've mentioned it before :3

Patrick asked, while Cyndaquil stopped running. He ran up Patrick's arm and climbed onto his shoulder.

Click to expand...

How can he run up Pat's shoulder if he stopped running? 'Stopped running away' would fit better, imo.

"That is an absolute adorable Cyndaquil you have. Would you mind if I held it?" she politely asked.

Click to expand...

Asked politely, I believe.

Patrick question himself, Cyndaquil had a bit of trouble trusting me at first, but he completely trusts Nurse Joy. Maybe he's just a little pervert?.

Click to expand...

HAHA! This part made me laugh XD;

Questioned, though. Do mind your tense. Oh, and Pat's thoughts should be italic-ed, to distinguish thoughts from the real world (like I've done in the quote up there)

"Um," Patrick looked at the menu, wondering what we was going to have,

Click to expand...

'what they were' or 'what he was' :3

"I'll have the triple pancake special, including both hash browns and sausage links. I'll also have two slices of bread, one toasted with grape jelly. And, a side of bacon, please. I'm guessing my Pokémon will just have whatever Pokémon food you're serving. Can you make one of the bowls be made with softer Pokémon food for Cyndaquil here?"

Click to expand...

Its early morning here and my stomach is growling XD; I think you made a similar description in your last chapter, nice to see the flow of your writing style and how it doesn't change <3

But to be nice, Patrick chopped up one of the sausage links and mixed it in with Poliwhirl's food. The three happily ate, enjoying each taste that met their taste buds. After their stomachs were filled, they left the Pokémon Center.

Click to expand...

Aww.. I can imagine this heartwarming scene <3

After managing to get a good hit in, Rattata ran away like a coward. Cyndaquil ran after it, and Patrick after both of them.

Click to expand...

XD

"Hoothoot, the Owl Pokémon. It begins to hoot at the same time every day. Some trainers use them in place of clocks."

Click to expand...

You did your research, well done!

Flames erupted from Cyndaquil's back, showing that he was ready for a real battle. Hoothoot charged in for a Tackle attack, and Cyndaquil did the same. They both collided in mid air, and each received the same amount of damage. The process of Tackle attacks continued for a couple more turns, and both Pokémon were getting tired of the constant collisions. Patrick thought to himself, Got to think up of a strategy. They will both end up being knocked out if this keeps up.... He snapped his fingers once he thought up of a strategy, "Cyndaquil, before Hoothoot hits you again, drop down and use Tackle once it's above you!"

Cyndaquil knew exactly what to do. When Hoothoot charged with another Tackle, Cyndaquil dropped to the ground. Once Hoothoot, who at this point couldn't change direction was above Cyndaquil, the fire mouse Pokémon jumped upwards, hitting Hoothoot dead on. Hoothoot launched a couple feet into the air, "Alright Cyndaquil, wait for it to drop to use another Tackle!".

However, Cyndaquil had other plans. He disobeyed his trainer by firing off a stronger attack. The fire on Cyndaquil's back grew as it prepared for a fire attack. He stood on his hind legs, and his tiny chest expanded as he inhaled. When he exhaled, a fury of fiery bolts hit Hoothoot. When the owl Pokémon hit the ground, it was unconscious. "Alright, good Ember Cyndaquil!" Patrick applauded his Pokémon's performance that dealt more damage than the attack he commanded to use was going to.

Click to expand...

Short battle is short. But I do understand how you wouldn't place emphasis on it if it's a random wild battle. If you're catching a Pokemon (happening here)/Battling a Gym Leader, that would be a different case altogether since these two are important scenes in the story, after all.

He picked up the Poké Ball and raised it in the air, "Alright, I caught a brand new Pokémon!".

Click to expand...

Yes, good job! Hoothoot>Pidgey (in the Johto region, anyway)

She was weakly standing as a result from the battle, and Cyndaquil was looking a little beaten too.

Click to expand...

I like how you didn't neglect what had happened, this makes the story more realistic.

Totodile collapsed to take a nap against his trainers wishes, so trainer decided to cut him some slack.

Click to expand...

'against his trainer's wishes'

and you can replace the second trainer with 'Kamon' to make it fit, or alternatively, 'so the trainer decided'.

Sentret was completely unaware that it had just been found. It was standing its hind legs, meaning it was off guard. Abra crept up behind it ready to strike. However, Sentret's whiskers reacted in time, warning the Pokémon that danger was upcoming. Abra jumped towards Sentret with his hand curled into a fist, but the scout Pokémon turned its body around with its paw raised in the air, striking Abra with all it had. Once Abra hit the ground, Sentret ran as fast as its stubby arms and miniature feet let it.

Click to expand...

You did your research, again! Yes, I'm liking this aspect of the story very much :3 Oh, and Sentret running on stubby legs? Too CUTE! <333

"You should have been faster." He rudely remarked, though he knew nothing could be done.

Click to expand...

I can hear the fangirls screaming already. Everyone likes the bad boy XD

Back with Patrick and his Pokémon

Click to expand...

You can italise it, bold it, add a '...' at the back or anything to separate it from the story :3

He kept a shocked look from overtaking his face, thinking to himself, 'I don't believe it, he's that kid who got his Pokémon from Elm! Dammit, I've got to keep it cool so he won't act suspicious.'

Click to expand...

THANK YOU! I like rivals that can think, not rivals who go 'me rival, me want battle' ;;

"Uh, nothing. Nothing at all. Sorry for capturing the Pokémon you were after." He approached Patrick, keeping back all the resentment he had towards him.

Click to expand...

XD hyper-fast personality change. I'm starting to like Kamon.

Sentret seemed a little happier now that she was healed. Kamon stood a little ways back to give a battlefield to Sentret, thinking to himself, 'Alright, I'll leave after I beat this fool.'

Click to expand...

Very belivable scene and whatnot, I like it. Oh, but remember to close a speech and italic your thoughts :0

"We've had a Pokémon battle with each other upon meeting, you've even given me one of your Potions. But, we still don't know each other by name." Kamon said, hoping he could leave this otherwise agonizing situation soon after, "My name's Kamon."

Click to expand...

<3 I like Kamon.

"My name's Patrick. Nice to meet you. So, you want to stay for some training? That's what I'm planning to do.

Click to expand...

Mind your punctuation :3

Sentret, though still sad that she had to leave her home now, still attempted to cheer her new trainer up. She tried to get Kamon's attention by tugging on his pant leg and calling out to him. He ignored what his Pokémon was trying to do. Eventually, she stopped his motion by grabbing his pant leg and not letting go, but he shot a cold glare at her before returning her back into the Poké Ball. He jammed the Poké Ball back into his pocket and kept walking.

Click to expand...

I can totally imagine this cool scene, with the wind blowing and ~ Kamon's so bad but so cool too <333

"No, I don't, but I think I can rely on instinct to get me where I need to go."

"Well, that will get you lost. Here, I have something that can help you."

Click to expand...

This part made me smile XD

"This is a pretty sweet device!" Patrick exclaimed, amazed by the fact that the man was just giving him this device, "Are you sure you want to give it away though? This thing can fit five hundred Mp3's."

"Nah, I don't need it, I already got a radio and a computer with speakers that has some damn good CDs loaded onto it. Do you want me to upload a couple albums onto it?"

Click to expand...

Good thing that Pat asked the man to be sure instead of just taking it without a word. Daylight robbery, that is.

"Well, let me see your collection first before I can decide. I'm a little picky with my music."

Patrick made a stack of all the CDs he liked, saying them aloud without noticing, "Master of Puppets by Metallica, City of Evil by Avenged Sevenfold, Thriller by Michael Jackson, The Crimson by Atreyu," he continued on for a couple more minutes until the pile of CDs he wanted was complete.

Click to expand...

;; Yes, good choice, Pat. Good choice.

Patrick rushed out back with his Hoothoot, realizing that the man was serious when he said there isn't a lot. It contained patched of grass and a very steep rock hill, too impossible for anyone, even Pokémon to climb. Scampering through the grass were the common sight of Rattata, but there was also the Rock Pokémon, Geodude, which was nothing more than a small round rock with arms coming from its sides. The pre-evolution of Fearow, the Tiny Bird Pokémon Spearow caught his eye. Another Pokémon that caught his attention that he knew was Jigglypuff, the Balloon Pokémon. Patrick decided to leave the Pokémon alone, as they seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Click to expand...

Very, very good description here! Totally made me realise where the hell Patrick was (I totally did not remember a rest station being in the game, only a building infront of Mount-whatever XD; )

Oh, and there 'wasn't' alot.

Spearow was battling with strategy, using its speed to deal damage to Hoothoot.

Click to expand...

*claps* no mindless Pokemon drones <3

At one of the training stops, Cyndaquil got jealous that Hoothoot was getting a little more praise than he was.

Click to expand...

Haha, yes! I like this :3 Very believable and predictable that Cyndaquil would get jealous (it would be weird if he didn't)

Poliwhirl grabbed his pant leg really quick and pointed at the Rattata. It took Patrick a couple seconds to realize, but the group of Rattata that Hoothoot defeated were the Raticate's litter.

Click to expand...

Just like that Ursaring :3 Very, very nice.


Overall Comments :
Main things I like about this fanfic is how you relate Patrick so well with a normal sixteen-year old, with his love for music (something that a lot of people don't include in their OT fics), giant appetite and inability to wake up with help XD; Of course, don't emphasis too much on the music portion or you may turn off some people who aren't interested in reading a fanfiction about music titles etc. I'm fine with it, of course :3

I like how you gave a reason for wild Pokemon going berserk, that was a nice touch you added (This happened in last chapter too with the Ursaring, and I didn't even have to reread it. See how unique things can stick themselves in a person's mind? That's what I like about reading fanfics :3)

Of course, you've made minor punctuation and tense errors, and I'd really prefer if you used a wider range of vocabulary. So keep at it! I'm looking forward to the next chapter a whole lot, because that was the one you started writing after my reviews, I hope to see loads of improvement, but same unique characters (KAMON <333) and plot, ya? :3

Spellcheck, Lashy :3 And that second part may have to be rephrased as 'causing Patrick to be slighty burned"

Click to expand...

Yeah, the spellcheck in Angel Writer isn't the greatest. Word won't work anymore (all that Microsoft Office license bull), but I might go with Microsoft Works.

Haha, Cyndaquil's antics were oh so cute! <3

Hmm, there are alternative ways to address Cyndaquil, I'm sure that I've mentioned it before :3

Click to expand...

Hell, I didn't even notice that, haha.

HAHA! This part made me laugh XD;

Questioned, though. Do mind your tense. Oh, and Pat's thoughts should be italic-ed, to distinguish thoughts from the real world (like I've done in the quote up there)

Click to expand...

I actually reworked that part. I actually put the VB code XD
(as in, [i][/i]

'what they were' or 'what he was' :3

Click to expand...

Error on my part XD;

You did your research, well done!

Click to expand...

Viva la Pokemon fansites!

Short battle is short. But I do understand how you wouldn't place emphasis on it if it's a random wild battle. If you're catching a Pokemon (happening here)/Battling a Gym Leader, that would be a different case altogether since these two are important scenes in the story, after all.

Click to expand...

Yeah, I'm working on that for the chapter I'm writing, as I mentioned on your profile. Short battles shall be no longer!

;; Yes, good choice, Pat. Good choice.

Click to expand...

I couldn't resist.
(lol, reading over that, I realized an error I made: The Crimson is a song by Atryeu, not the name of the album XD;)

Of course, you've made minor punctuation and tense errors, and I'd really prefer if you used a wider range of vocabulary. So keep at it! I'm looking forward to the next chapter a whole lot, because that was the one you started writing after my reviews, I hope to see loads of improvement, but same unique characters (KAMON <333) and plot, ya? :3

Click to expand...

I've been using Thesaurus.com, and it's helping.
Yeah, the errors I made are just simple ones I over see, but I will work at them.

And, yes, I like making Kamon as ftw a character can be :3

Great job. Loved it. Hope the real games are like that.

Been a week or something, hasn't it?

-----
Chapter 3

Night had fallen upon the Johto region. The nocturnal Pokémon of Route 29 were stirring around in their typical nighttime activities while others were already napping the night away. Patrick entered the Cherrygrove City Pokémon Center after his exhausting day of training. He could've been in a better mood, but he was concerned for his injured Cyndaquil and Hoothoot. He rushed for the front desk, only to see a Chansey, the Egg Pokémon waiting behind the front desk with a nurse hat on its head.

"I guess Nurse Joy's not in... So this Chansey will take care of my Pokémon?" He asked himself before approaching the desk.

The Chansey cheerfully greeted Patrick.

"Excuse me, where is the Nurse Joy who runs this Pokémon Center?"

"Chansey! Chansey Chan!" She pointed one of her stubby arms to a busy Nurse Joy.

Nurse Joy was in the process of making trainer cards for a group of Pokémon trainers. The procedure would take a little while, as the busy nurse was taking their pictures, names, and printing their trainer cards one at a time.

"They couldn't have waited to do this in the morning?" Patrick sighed.

"Will you still be able to admit my Pokémon? We all had a rough day." He hoped for a reply.

"Chansey!" She nodded, though no one could tell due to the Pokémon's shape.

She grabbed an empty Poké Ball tray from under a compartment under the desk and placed it front of the trainer. He returned Poliwhirl to his Poké Ball and placed it on the container after putting Cyndaquil and Hoothoot's Poké Balls onto it. Chansey walked off with the tray and Pokémon to the Pokémon examination and healing rooms. Patrick was left in serious boredom now without his Pokémon. It was too late to stroll around Cherrygrove, and it was too early to go to bed. He sat on one of the couches in the Pokémon Center and tilted his head back till he got an idea.

He ran over to one of the video phones after snapping his fingers. Once he was at an available one, he retrieved the PokéGear he received earlier from his pocket. He pressed the second yellow button to access the cellular telephone function. Though it had no contacts, it was time for Patrick to get some.

"If only I could remember Professor Elm's number... Wait, I know!" He said, while picking up the phone from the video communication device.

He held the phone up to his ear as he pressed the zero key on the video phones number pad. The dial tone went on for a few seconds before there was an answer.

"Hello, you've reached a telephone operator. How may I help you?" A soft feminine voice said, though the woman didn't actually appear on the video screen.

"Excuse me miss, could you direct me towards the research laboratory in Pallet Town? The place that's ran by Professor Elm?"

"Not a problem! Please wait a minute before I redirect your call."

Patrick was rather pleased that he was able to get his call through, thinking that he wouldn't be able to contact such an important facility. It wasn't long until Professor Elm appeared on the trainers screen.

"Patrick! What a joy it is to see you! How is your journey going so far?" Professor Elm delightfully said.

"Hello to you too Professor Elm! Pretty good so far, I'm in the Cherrygrove City Pokémon Center, getting my Pokémon healed before heading out tomorrow."

"That's good to hear, but it's eight till ten. What are you doing calling me this late?"

"Oh, I was wondering if you had a PokéGear! It has a phone function-" Patrick's sentence was cut short.

"Why yes I do! I don't know where you got one, but it sure is a useful device. Let me give you the number to my PokéGear. After wards, I'll give you Cameron's number."

"He has one too? Damn, I wish I would have known about these PokéGears sooner!"

Patrick entered both Professor Elm's and Cameron's PokéGear numbers. The memory bank showed both names with an arrow pointing to them, indicating which person was about to be called.

"Thank you Professor! Goodbye!" Patrick hung the phone on the cradle, and the video screen went blank.

***

The sun rose once again upon the Johto region. Patrick left the ever so identical Pokémon Center cabin, despite the fact that he didn't get a wink of rest the night before. Sure, he was happy that he could contact Professor Elm and Cameron without trouble now, but he couldn't be content with any possible injuries his Pokémon received the day before. He advanced for the front desk, but there was a line ahead of him.

'First I had to wait for my Pokémon to be admitted, now this?' He thought as he rolled his eyes.

Soon, he was first in line.

"Excuse me, I left my Pokémon here overnight; a Poliwhirl, Cyndaquil, and a Hoothoot. Can you tell me how they are doing?" He asked Nurse Joy.

"Well, I'm afraid your Cyndaquil and Hoothoot will need most of the day to rejuvenate..." she said, "Come with me."

Though Patrick did not know why Nurse Joy asked him to come with her, he agreed nevertheless. He couldn't help but to wonder about his Poliwhirl, but he decided not to ask questions for the moment. Nurse Joy lead the boy to the healing room, but the women and trainer were separated from the Pokémon via a glass wall which held a room where Pokémon in need of healing rested in. In the room were machines that monitored a creatures current health. The machine also brought the Pokémon's health back up, but slowly so it could be a full power when the process finished. There were a couple Pokémon connected to the machines, but the ones that caught Patrick's eye were his. Both Cyndaquil and Hoothoot had bandages where their battle wounds were.

"They don't look like they're in the best shape... But, may I ask, where's my Poliwhirl?" He looked up at the nurse, and she could clearly see the concern in his eyes.

"Don't worry, there's no need to stress. Poliwhirl is a okay, and the other two will be just fine later in the day." She said with a smile that left Patrick in a better mood.

"Alright, thank you Nurse Joy! I'll come by later to pick them up. What do you think an appropriate time would be?"

"Oh, I'd have to guess in about five hours, about four o' clock. That would probably be your best bet."

"Sounds good to me! May I have Poliwhirl's Poké Ball now? I think he'd want to go sight seeing around Cherrygrove with me today."

"Not a problem at all, stay here while I fetch it, please."

Nurse Joy walked off to another room, and Patrick, though tempted to go into the room to see his Pokémon up close, he stayed put. She returned with a Poké Ball in hand. She handed it to its owner, "Here is Poliwhirl, and enjoy your day!"

***

Patrick stood outside the Pokémon Center where he let Poliwhirl out of his Poké Ball. The tadpole Pokémon and his trainer scanned what they could see of the city, wondering where they should go first. The two started walking, but Patrick stopped in his tracks remembering something he forgot to do the night before. He pulled the PokéGear out of his pocket and called Cameron.

Meanwhile, in Violet City

Cameron walked around with his Eevee at toe. The young Pokémon was having little trouble walking now, and was able to keep up with her trainer at an impressive speed. The loud ringtone coming from his PokéGear caught both him and his Pokémon's attention, causing Eevee's ears to twitched along with the rhythm, 'White needles buried in the red, the engine roars and then it gives, but never dies 'cause we don't live, we just survive'

The ringtone stopped when he answered the PokéGear, triggering his curious Eevee to jump on her hind legs with her front paws on his leg. She looked up and titled her head back and forth as her trainer spoke.

"Cameron here, who is this?"

Patrick was delighted that his friend picked up the phone, "Hey man, it's Patrick. I got a PokéGear, and Elm gave me your number. Just thought I'd inform you."

"Alright, thanks dude. But, lets converse before we end the call; where are you right now?"

"I'm in Cherrygrove City at the moment, doing a bit of sight seeing with Poliwhirl. You?"

"You're still in Cherrygrove? Slowpoke!" Cameron laughed before continuing, "In all seriousness, I'm in Violet City right now, and I just got the first Johto League badge! Pretty cool right?"

"Hell yeah dude! Hope I can get there soon. How's Eevee and the rest of your team? Have you gotten any other Pokémon?"

"Pretty good. And, not yet, but I have a couple in mind I want to catch. Have you obtained any new Pokémon aside from Cyndaquil?"

"Just a Hoothoot, but so far she's pretty powerful."

"That's good to hear. Anyways, see you later man, I gotta go."

"Alright, later home slice."

Patrick put the device back into his pocket and resumed walking.

He looked down at Poliwhirl, who still had the King's Rock on his head. 'I wonder how long it'll take before you evolve into Politoed?'

***

After a little while of wandering about, Patrick and Poliwhirl got undyingly bored. They even began to walk in circles, but Patrick never noticed the repetition. He looked in the direction Route 29 was in, but neither him or his Pokémon wanted to go back for even more training. Especially Poliwhirl, who already had enough experience as it was. He sighed as he pulled out his PokéGear. He activated the map function to look for places of interest within the city. There wasn't a whole lot. A couple fast food joints, restaurants, the Pokémon Center, the Police station, and the docks.

"Hey Poliwhirl, you hungry?" Patrick looked at his Pokémon as he asked the question, "There's a few good sounding restaurants near."

"Poliwhirl!" His stomach growled as he replied.

The two walked a couple more minutes before arriving at their destination. The building was large, and most of the place was packed. Due to the probable long wait, they almost didn't enter. However, the smell of food was too strong to resist.

"Let's hope this place has that Pokémon Trainer Discount."

They entered the building. The food smelled even better inside than it did outside. The sweet aroma of lunch foods filled the air. Despite the fact that the place was mostly filled, there wasn't a line. Patrick and his Pokémon were shown to a table, a booth. However, he wasn't informed on whether or not there was a trainers discount or not. Despite this, he didn't complain. He only spoke up when the waitress asked him what his order was.

"I'll have a bacon cheeseburger, medium well. For the side dish, I guess I'll just have the fries. And Poliwhirl, I guess he'll just have Pokémon food. Could you bring an extra burger patty so I can mix it into his food?"

"Not a problem! Your food will be here shortly."

Contradictory to his earlier thoughts of a long wait, the food he ordered was on his table within minutes. A bowl of Pokémon Food was placed in front of Poliwhirl, while a steaming burger with crisp looking fries was placed before Patrick. To the side, there was a small plate with the extra burger patty Patrick ordered with a knife and fork. The waitress asked if he needed anything more, but he polite fully declined.

"Poliwhirl, you want a little bit of ketchup with the burger?"

Poliwhirl nodded. Patrick diced the patty up, poured a little bit of ketchup onto the burger bits before mixing them with Poliwhirl's food. The Pokémon began eating, but Patrick took his time with his burger. He made sure he put the right amount of pepper, ketchup, and mustard on before eating, for a masterpiece. Poliwhirl stole a couple of his trainers French fries while he focused on his burger. Then, he finally began eating.

The two enjoyed each bite of their mouthwatering meals. They pushed their empty plates and bowls to the edge of the table for the waitress.

"Poliwhirl, did you enjoy your meal?" He snickered, "I think we got the Pokémon Trainer Discount!"

Both lightly giggled, but this did not last long when the waitress came by with the check.

"Your total is $39."

Patrick's heart jumped when he heard that.

He stuttered, "But I thought this restaurant had the PTD benefit, like in New Bark Town!"

"Sure enough, it is. But, you need proof that you are an officially registered for the Johto League. This system is used so no one can just waltz in here with a Pokémon and claim to be a trainer for a free meal." She explained, which calmed Patrick down.

"Oh hell, I wish I wouldn't known that earlier! Here is my ID!" He pulled out his PokéDex and showed proof that he is a registered Johto trainer.

Patrick and Poliwhirl exited the eatery with a sigh of relief. Lady luck would not have been on his side if it weren't for the trainers discount, seeing as he still had no money.

"That sure was a close one, wasn't it Poliwhirl?"

Poliwhirl nodded. The two continued walking around the city, now able to focus with food in their stomachs.

***

After another hour, they had explored most of the city, and knew their way around pretty well. Patrick was wishing Cyndaquil and Hoothoot could be hanging out with him and Poliwhirl right now. He knew they'd be having fun. That was, at least more fun than he and Poliwhirl were having.

"Man, am I the only Pokémon trainer in this city?" He loudly asked himself, hoping to get some attention from any near trainers, but to no success.

Patrick was ready to give up and go back to the Pokémon Center, though he kept walking with his head down.

Meanwhile, in a nearby alley

A man lurked in the alley way, behind a dumpster to not be seen. Despite the fact that he wore an average persons clothes, the beard and sunglasses he wore gave him a shady appearance. The halfway filled bag in his hand didn't help either. He reached into his pocket and released a Pokémon. The Pokémon released was a petite, canine creature. Most of its short fur was black, while its under belly was orange with a red tint. Its pointed ears moved occasionally while its short snout sniffed its surroundings. Though a small Pokémon, it had a hard head, only because it was protected by a partially full skull. It also had two ribs on its back, and white cuffs around each of its ankles.

"Houndour, it's time for some action. There's a couple chumps we could steal from, so lure anyone stupid looking here, or just steal and run back here."

"Hound!" It barked its name and walked out of the alley way.

"Phew... Poliwhirl, see any Pokémon?" Patrick said, still walking along with his head down.

"Poli." He said, also looking downwards while walking.

Both sighed in disappointment. Patrick lifted his head up just in time to see a not very attentive Houndour. Poliwhirl also saw it, and was ready to engage. He pointed his hand outwards for a Water Gun, but his trainer signaled him to stop. After all, this was a Pokémon Patrick had never seen before, so he needed its PokéDex Data. He approached it.

"Hello little guy! Are you lost?" He said as he pulled out his PokéDex, which he then held in front of Houndour for a proper scan.

Houndour stood while the trainer read its PokéDex entry aloud, waiting for him to be off guard.

"Houndour, the Dark Pokémon. It uses different kinds of cries for communicating with others of its kind and for pursuing its prey."

Patrick looked down at Poliwhirl, "Do you think we should catch it? Sounds interesting enough-- HEY!"

Houndour took the opportunity to grab the PokéDex from his hands. It quickly ran back into the alley, but Patrick and Poliwhirl were right on its short tail.

"Alright Poliwhirl, use Water Gun! Make sure you don't hit the PokéDex!"

Poliwhirl stopped so he could use his attack. He put both his hands together for a stronger attack. The powerful stream of water shot out at a high speed, hitting Houndour. The Pokémon stopped in its track, dropping the PokéDex. The owner of the Pokémon emerged to see the commotion.

"Ah! Houndour, return! At least you did your job!"

"Don't think so! BubbleBeam!"

The man attempted to pick up Patrick's PokéDex, but was stopped when an assault of multi colored bubbles shot from Poliwhirl's hands. He raised his arms to block from the powerful stream. Patrick picked up his PokéDex, and was happy to see that it hadn't been badly damaged by the Houndour's fangs. Poliwhirl stopped his attack once his trainer got back his stolen item.

"Poliwhirl, I got my PokéDex back, use DoubleSlap to knock the guy out so we can take him to the authorities!"

Poliwhirl advanced for the shady man, but he had a sinister look on his face.

"Weezing, escape combination!"

He threw a Poké Ball in front of him. A large, floating, and two headed creature emerged from the ball. Its two heads were stuck together, both connecting via appendages to a third chamber. One of the heads was much smaller than the other, but still looked very similar. Aside from the size, the only notable differences were the designs and teeth. The smaller head only had a small, yellow circle, while the larger head had a skull and crossbones design. The larger heads teeth were much bigger than the two small ones the lesser head has. What appeared to be a mixture of gas and smoke poured out of numerous holes scattered across its body. The Pokémon wheezed its name, Weezing.

Before Patrick could even react with a command, and even before his Pokémon could counterattack, Weezing spewed Sludge onto Poliwhirl. His eyes were covered by the attack, completely blocking his vision. He attempted to rub it out of his eyes, but Weezing slammed into him with a full body Tackle. A worried Patrick ran for his Poliwhirl, but was interrupted when the gaseous Pokémon released a mass amount of smoke from its mouth. He put his shirt over his mouth and nose to keep from coughing while the robber escaped from the smoke engulfed alley. Since he couldn't even see the man who attempted to rob him, the trainer picked up his Pokémon and ran out of there as fast as he could. Once he and Poliwhirl were in the clear, he stopped and sat down.

"Hell... You okay Poli?" He said, looking down a Poliwhirl, who looked pretty down himself.

Poliwhirl muttered his name once after rubbing away enough Sludge from his eyes to open them. He looked at the ground, sad about his loss. He was fearful that he had disappointed his trainer.

"Don't worry Poli, I'm not mad. You did great, but the ass wipe had strategy. Sure, he got away, but at least he didn't get the PokéDex!" He said, comforting Poliwhirl as best as he could.

This worked, the Pokémon looking happier immediately after his trainer said that. Patrick smiled down at Poliwhirl, who used Water Gun on himself to wash away the sludge that remained around his eyes.

"Alright Poliwhirl, wanna go for a swim? I'm pretty sure they allow that at the docks."

"Poli Poli!" He jumped up at the suggestion.

The two walked off in the direction the docks were at.

Their walk didn't take a long time, considering the area was located at the edge of town. The place wasn't very populated, only a couple fishermen. Aside from that, multiple fish and water Pokémon swam around. Patrick immediately recognized half of them. The Goldfish Pokémon, Goldeen and the Fish Pokémon Magikarp mainly populated the waters. Once he got a closer look, he saw schools of Horsea floating and swimming around underwater. Another Pokémon that caught his attention was Poliwag, something that he and Poliwhirl are far too familiar with. Poliwhirl hopped into the water for a swim, and Patrick knew he would enjoy.

Patrick took his shoes and socks off, and rolled up his pant cuffs so he could let his feet rest in the water. He could barely see Poliwhirl while underwater. He noticed how Poliwhirl stuck to the Poliwag, a Pokémon both of them could relate to. However, Poliwhirl was soon out of his view, but he knew he could trust his Pokémon not to get in trouble. Or at least he thought. His Pokémon was following a Poliwag that fell for some bait connected to a fishing rod. The tadpole Pokémon grabbed hold of the hook, but was quickly getting reeled in. Its brethren watched in fear, but their evolved form sprung into action. Poliwhirl grabbed hold of the smaller Pokémon with one arm while he pulled on the fishing line with his other. The fisherman who cast the rod stood up and pulled. Both sides put up a fight.

"That fisherman must have gotten a strong one!" Patrick said to himself, watching the fisherman on the other side of the dock.

He took interest in this, wondering what kind of strong Pokémon he might be catching. He was up to see a battle. The fisherman got what he was after out of the water, albeit Poliwhirl's effort. Much to Patrick's dismay, his Pokémon appeared, which meant trouble. He started to run over there, knowing a battle was about to take place. Poliwhirl backed up with an angered look in his eyes. He told the fear filled Poliwag to jump back in the water, which it did.

"Damn, that Poliwag got away! At least I got something better, a Poliwhirl with a King's Rock. You're mine!" The fisherman said, "Cloyster, Tackle!"

A large Pokémon emerged from the Poké Ball. It had a thick, purple outer shell covered with sharp spikes and small bumps. Its inner shell was clearly visible, colored gray. The outer shell had the ability to close, to protect the only part of this Pokémon that could be harmed - its head. It resembled a black pearl, smooth and round. Its only facial features were two eyes and a mouth. As if the shell wasn't enough protection, a large spike protruded above its head, providing more over from enemies.

It charged full body towards Poliwhirl, but the tadpole Pokémon easily dodged the assault and even retaliated. He brought his hand down upon Cloyster, hitting its shell. This was followed by a few more unsuccessful hits. This failed attempt caused more harm to Poliwhirl than his attacker, hitting its rock hard shell. He held his hand in pain, while Cloyster charged in for another Tackle attack. He fired off a Water Gun attack, hitting Cloyster's face dead on, but this did not stop it. He managed to stop the attack himself, gripping onto the main spike and standing in place. He was pushed back a little, but sure enough, Cloyster's attack was halted. He raises one hand, ready for a DoubleSlap, but the defensive Pokémon closed its shell. Poliwhirl improvised, pushing it down onto its side, leaving it nearly immobilized.

Patrick arrived when Poliwhirl technically won the battle. Sure, he was proud that his Pokémon won without his help or command, but he glared at the fisherman who attempted to battle and catch it.

"What's your problem? This Poliwhirl happens to have an owner." He scoffed.

"Really? Sorry about that, but I thought it was a wild Pokémon." He said, returning Cloyster to its Poké Ball, walking up to Patrick afterwards, "Sorry again, but your Poliwhirl is well trained! I'm impressed!"

Patrick was quick to forgive in this situation, seeing as the fisherman's excuse was a believable one.

"Thank you for the compliment, I do train him his best. Your Cloyster looks strong too."

"Thanks."

"Alright, I must be going now, exploring the city for the day."

"Really? Why don't you stay here and fish, it's a good way to kill boredom and time. I have a couple extra fishing rods, and there is some good Pokémon to catch out here."

"Sweet! Let's get to fishin'!" He delightfully said.

Patrick and the fisherman walked back to the man's spot, where he handed Patrick a Good Rod. Poliwhirl jumped into the water again to make sure the Poliwag would be safe from the fishing rods. Patrick cast out his fishing rod. After a little bit of patience, Patrick reeled in many fish Pokémon. He mainly caught roaming Goldeen and Magikarp. Soon, however, he caught a Pokémon he didn't recognize. Normally, he released whatever he got after reeling it in, but this time he placed it on the dock so he could get its PokéDex data.

As Patrick scanned it, the Pokémon attacked him, but only with Bubble attack over and over again, proving that it was weak. It was very petite, and in the shape of an oval. Its primary color was light blue. Its small fins were a lighter shade of blue, almost white. Eventually, it would try and tackle the trainer, but its jumps weren't very high from its stubby legs. It also had two large antennae, positioned from its rear like tails. At the end of each appendage were large, yellow, tear drop shaped orbs. Patrick read its PokéDex entry aloud.

"Chinchou, the Angler Pokémon. Its antennae, which evolved from a fin, have both positive and negative charges flowing through them."

He put the Chinchou back into the water, as he clearly wasn't interested in catching it.

Meanwhile, stalking from a distance...

The man who attempted to rob Patrick earlier watched him scan the Chinchou. He had an angry look on his face, seeing as he got nothing earlier from his attempted thievery. He especially eyed the PokéDex, knowing it could make a decent amount of money off of it.

"Got to figure out a way to separate the kid from the machine, but how?"

He questioned, but soon his wish would be granted.

---

Patrick walked over to the fisherman with the good rod.

"Hey, here's your Good Rod back. I'm gonna go for a swim with Poliwhirl, the water looks nice." He said, pointing over to Poliwhirl, who was swimming on his back, "Could you watch my stuff?"

"Not a problem! Just place your stuff over there, I might try and catch a couple of the Pokémon I reel in." He said, pointing away from where he would have his Pokémon battle.

"Thanks."

Patrick put his PokéGear and PokéDex in his back back before placing it on the ground. He then took his shirt and pants, folding them afterwards. He placed his shoes and socks next to his other items before diving in the water. Poliwhirl dived down too. They both enjoyed the water, and the Pokémon didn't seem to mind the presence of a human. Even whenever a spot would become unusually warm. The trainer only came up for air a couple of times, but he was able to hold his breath for a decent amount of time.

The robber had a sinister smile on his face when he hatched a plan. He timed how much time Patrick would be under water for, so his plan could go by without any casualties. Soon, he was set.

"Raticate, go over there and steal his yellow bag, he has important stuff in there. Deal with anyone who gets in the way." He said, releasing his Raticate from his Poké Ball. Anyone could tell that the Pokémon was a male because of its longer whiskers.

Raticate ran over to Patrick's items. He was sneaky, hiding behind anything bigger than him in case anyone saw. The fisherman was in a daze and didn't see the Raticate when he approached the trainers belongings. He gripped down the top of the bag with his large teeth. However, the fisherman snapped out of his daze when his fishing rod bobbled. When he looked down to attempt to get the Pokémon, he saw the rat Pokémon running away with Patrick's backpack.

"Hey, get back here!" He attempted to chase after Raticate, but he was too fast for him.

Patrick was still swimming when this happened, but he and Poliwhirl emerged when the fisherman stopped the chase. He turned around to the water drenched trainer, "Hey, get out of the water, a Pokémon stole your backpack!" He said, attaching his fishing rods to his back.

"What!? My PokéDex and PokéGear are in there!" Patrick said, getting out of the water as fast as he could.

Despite the fact that he was soaked from head to toe, Patrick didn't hesitate to put his clothes back on. He, the fisherman, and Poliwhirl ran in the direction Raticate ran. The rat returned to his master with the bag. He searched through it, seeing that the PokéDex and PokéGear were in there. He congratulated Raticate on a job well done. However, he looked up to see the two trainers running in his direction. Patrick recognized the thief upon seeing him.

"Hey, you again!? Get back here with my items!" Patrick yelled, angry about his second encounter with the thief.

"Ah, gotta book it!" He panicked and ran away with his Raticate and the stolen items.

The chase continued on. The two just weren't able to catch the thief. He seemed very fit, probably a good skill for running away from a crime scene. People throughout the town didn't pay much mind to the chase nor did the pursuers pay attention to the city folk. After a couple more minutes of running, both Patrick and the fisherman began panting, running a little slower.

"Hell, I can't lose that stuff! Damn it, we need to get something in front of him if we want to stop him. How far can you throw a Poké Ball?"

"Not far, but good idea. Thing is, how?" The fisherman asked himself, but he snapped his fingers when he got an idea.

"Alright, I still have my Super Rod with me. If I cast out as hard as I can and release Cloyster's Poké Ball, it could land in front of him." He didn't wait for Patrick to reply.

He retrieved his Super Rod, retrieved a Poké Ball from his pocket, and connected it to the hook. While still running, he rose his fishing rod in the air, and cast it out with all his strength. He pressed a button that let out the excess string, which helped the Poké Ball go further. The Poké Ball landed a few feet in front of the thief, who by now was panting himself. Cloyster emerged from the Poké Ball as it opened, stopping the robber dead in his tracks long enough for its owner and Patrick to catch up. It threatened to attack if he went any further. The two approached the thief.

"Alright, give me my stuff back or pay the consequences!" Stated an infuriated Patrick.

"Cloyster, stand guard, make sure he doesn't go anywhere!" The fisherman ordered.

"Crap! If it's a battle you want, go Raticate! Hyper Fang these annoyances!" He pointed towards the target, and Raticate dashed out.

"Poliwhirl, get in there, use Body Slam!"

Raticate's teeth glowed when Poliwhirl entered the battlefield. The rat Pokémon propelled himself towards the tadpole Pokémon. He raised his arm, which Raticate clamped down on. He shook off the opposing Pokémon. He hit the ground and attempted another Hyper Fang attack, but Poliwhirl jumped towards him. He slammed down onto the rat Pokémon with all his weight and power, and stepped back after the attack, waiting for a command form his trainer.

"Alright, Hydro Pump!"

Poliwhirl nodded. He cuffed his hands together and focused all his power. Raticate got back up and charged for him with a full body tackle, but a large and powerful jet of water shot from Poli's hands. Raticate got washed away and drenched by all the water. Once the attack stopped, Poliwhirl jumped towards his opponent with his hand raises in the air. He slapped Raticate back and forth repeatedly. Once the DoubleSlap attacked stopped, the Mouse Pokémon dizzily stepped back.

"Dang it! Raticate, return! Houndour, go!"

Poliwhirl panted as the familiar site of the Houndour he used Water Gun on earlier stood before him. The canine was angry about what had happened earlier, being struck from behind. It growled, and decided to not wait for its trainer's command. It leapt forward, biting down on its tired opponent with all the power in its jaw. The tadpole Pokémon yelled in the agony of the attack until its attacker let go, only to unleash a great amount of fire bolts close range on Poliwhirl. He got up, despite the fact that he took a decent amount of damage. He continuously panted his name, wondering how much more damage he could take. He was still ready for more though.

"Poliwhirl, use a Water Gun, follow up BubbleBeam!"

"Houndour, finish this weakling, Flamethrower!"

Poliwhirl weakly rose his arm and held it out towards his opponent, but Houndour had already unleashed a large spiral of flames. Anyone near the flames could feel the heat emitting from it. The speed of the attack left the target almost no time to react, but barely dodged. Some of the flames managed to singe his side. He ignored the pain, firing off the best Water Gun attack he could. Houndour managed to dodge the first spiral of water, but a second drenched it. The damage however wasn't that great, as the dog Pokémon fired off another fury of flames at Poliwhirl, who reacted in the nick of time, unleashing a spiral of water. Both forces, fire and water clashed, neither was able to gain any distance on the other. Steam began to emit from the attacks, so Poliwhirl ceased his. The last thing a weakened Pokémon needed was vision loss.

The flamethrower had kept on going. He jumped around continuously to dodge the attack. There were many openings, but all of them included Poliwhirl having to take the damage of the flames. He couldn't keep this routine up forever. The fisherman walked up to Patrick.

"Hey, Poliwhirl looks beaten, how about you let me handle his little Houndour?"

Patrick sighed in relief, and allowed Poliwhirl to retreat. The fisherman stepped up and threw a Poké Ball out. A large crab Pokémon appeared before him. It looked about the same height as Cloyster, its defense also looking as resilient. The lower portion of its body was cream colored, and all that held this Pokémon were four legs, each with sharp hooks at the end. The upper portion of its body was a reddish orange. Its most noticeable appearances were its two large pincers, and spikes that resembled a crown. Its right claw was larger than the left one.

"A Kingler? Impressive!" Patrick said. Poliwhirl was sitting against his leg, resting up in case he needed to battle later.

"Thanks." The fisherman said, "Time for battle. Kingler, ViceGrip!"

"Houndour, Fire Fang!"

Houndour opened its mouth. Its teeth became ablaze with flames. Kingler advanced for its opponent, the larger claw snapping rapidly. The canine Pokémon jumped and bit down on its target, and by dumb luck, he clamped down when the Pincer Pokémon's claw was shut. Afterwards, it didn't let go.

"BubbleBeam, then Crabhammer!"

Kingler didn't struggle at all when the Houndour bit it, simply accepting the small amount of damage. Though the canine Pokémon didn't know this, it fallen into a trap. The king crab Pokémon raised its other claw, opened it, and unleashed a mass of bubbles. The canine only let go when the pain of a close ranged attack forced it to. Kingler's larger claw began to glow. It swung its arm and slammed Houndour with its pincer. Houndour yelped from the impact before falling before its trainer.

"Damn this isn't turning out good! Magmar, we're in serious trouble if you don't win! Fire Punch!"

He said, returning Houndour and releasing Magmar, the Spitfire Pokémon. Its body was red, while the lower design was yellow, resembling a flame. Its arms were covered with red, rigid scales. Its hands were also red, but its sharp claws were bone white. It also had spikes running down its back, stopping at its yellow tail, which had a flame burning at the end. Its thighs were the same yellow color as its shoulder and tail, but this stopped at its black legs that lead into red feet. Its fist ignited with a powerful flame, running towards its opponent, ready to strike.

"Crabhammer!"

Kingler's larger claw glowed once again. It waddled towards the charging opponent. Once the two of them were within distance, they struck at each other with full force. Both attacks clashed, and neither Pokémon gained any damage on the other. They both jumped back, ready for more.

"Flamethrower!"

"Harden, then try a Mud Shot!"

Magmar unleashed the spiraling flames which were far too familiar by that point in the battle. However, the flames emitting from the spitfire Pokémon were much stronger than the ones unleashed by Houndour. Kingler had no problem with this, however. Its body flashed brightly once, and the Pokémon became stiff. Since its defense rose, it didn't take too much damage. Magmar continued with the same routine, the crab Pokémon unleashed many bullets of mud. Unlike the water versus fire clash that took place earlier, the shots of mud actually gained distance. The spitfire Pokémon had no way out. If it ceased its attack, the Mud Shot attack would hit it full on. If it continued the flame, it would at least have some time to brace itself for the mud barrage, which it did. It attempted to block, but the shots of mud still knocked it down to the ground. Whenever it attempted to get back up, Kingler continuously fired off the Mud Shot attack till Magmar got knocked unconscious.

"What the hell! Magmar, return! Weezing, it's time to escape!" The thief said, throwing a Poké Ball into the air.

"Not again! Poliwhirl, Hydro Pump!"

Poliwhirl unleashed a powerful jet of water as the Poké Ball opened. Weezing managed to release a bit of smoke, but it stopped in its tracks when drenched with the mass amount of water. He didn't stop either, to make sure the robber couldn't escape. Weezing's health dropped rapidly, until it no longer possessed the ability to keep afloat. It crashed down to the ground, hard. Poliwhirl fell backwards out of exhaustion. Keeping up such a powerful attack like that was no easy task for him.

"Alright Poliwhirl, I'm proud of you." Patrick patted Poliwhirl's head, but he then glared at the thief. He, the fisherman, and Poliwhirl began slowly walking towards the man.

"Weezing! Return! Dang it, gotta run!" He said, returning Weezing to its Poké Ball.

However, he forgot that Cloyster was keeping guard behind him. He slowly walked back in fear as the Bivalve Pokémon threatened to attack him if he went any further. When he turned around to run, he had nowhere to go, as Patrick and the fisherman were blocking his way with their Pokémon, also ready for attack. Little did either trainer know, they gained a small crowd of the passerby Cherrygrove citizens throughout the battle. Everyone thought it was just a random trainer battle until Patrick demanded his bag back.

"Give me my bag, you have no where else to run. Give up." Patrick held his hand out.

The thief hesitated for a moment, trying to figure out a way out. He gulped when he realized the reality of this situation, and that he had no possible way to escape. He shook as he handed the backpack back to its owner. Patrick looked inside it to make sure all his stuff was in there. He slung it back over his shoulder once the check up was done.

"Thank you for your cooperation. Fisherman, would you mind contacting the police?" He said.

The thief panicked when he heard the 'P' word. He ran, forgetting about Cloyster's defense. It released a multi-colored beam from its main spike above its head. The Aurora Beam froze him in his tracks upon contact. The fisherman used a nearby pay phone to contact the police. He informed them about the entire situation and how it happened. Soon enough, a police car had arrived. The driver approached Patrick.

"Excuse me kid, you're the one who got robbed, right?" The Police officer said.

"Yes sir, but I managed to get back what was stolen." Patrick said, showing him the once robbed bag.

The Police Officer went through the typical questioning routine to get every single detail about what had happened. Meanwhile, the second Police Officer thawed out the robber with Growlithe, the Puppy Pokémon, mascot and signature Pokémon of the Police Force. He has handcuffed right after thawing, and made no attempts to escape. He was placed in the backseat of the Police car, and his Pokémon team was taken away. The officer that question Patrick and the fisherman walked back to the vehicle after getting all the information he needed.

Patrick turned to the fisherman.

"Hey man, thanks for the help!" He said, offering a handshake.

"No problem kid!" He said, shaking the boy's hand.

The fisherman returned Cloyster and Kingler to their Poké Balls after congratulating them on a job well done. Patrick also congratulated Poliwhirl for fighting his best. The tadpole Pokémon didn't mind that he lost, as long as he fought to his best potential. The trainer offered to put him back into the Poké Ball, but he refused, enjoying the air. He turned to the man once more.

"Hey man, what's your name? I don't think either of us asked." Patrick laughed, "My names Patrick."

"Pleasure to properly make your acquittance Patrick. My name's Cole." He said.

"Hey, do you know what time it is?" The boy asked, completely forgetting about the watch function on his PokéGear.

"Um..." The fisherman looked down at his watch, "It's four o' clock, right on the dot."

"Ah hell, I gotta get back to the Pokémon Center! Thanks for everything again, Cole!"

Patrick began walking in the direction the Pokémon Center is, but not before sharing another handshake with Cole. They waved goodbye as they disappeared from each others view.

***

Patrick arrived in the Pokémon Center, at least fifteen minutes late from the time Nurse Joy had told him to be there. He walked to the front desk, but she wasn't there. Instead, the same Chansey that admitted his Pokémon the night before was managing it.

"Excuse me Chansey, would you be able to take me to the Pokémon I left here earlier?" He asked.

Chansey didn't reply for a moment. She had to contemplate on whether or not Patrick had left Pokémon, or if he was even there the previous day. Needless to say, her memory wasn't the best. He was patient with the forgetful Pokémon, understanding how it would be hard for a nurse assistant Pokémon to remember just one trainer's Pokémon out of everyone that comes in and out of the center. Just before Chansey was about to shrug with a sorry look on her face, Nurse Joy rushed to the rescue of her aide. The Pokémon sighed in relief as she moved out of the way while wiping a bead of sweat away.

"Hello there!" Nurse Joy grinned, "Walk with me to the back, your Pokémon are fully healed!"

Patrick was delighted to her words. So joyous in fact, he didn't speak. He followed her to the healing area, but this time Hoothoot and Cyndaquil weren't in the room itself. Instead, they were both standing on a table. The owl Pokémon had a couple bandages where the Raticate bit her. Her comrade had a bandage on his hind leg, and another where he got whipped by Raticate's tail. There was a small scar, but time heals all wounds. Neither Pokémon seemed down at all, and were even more chipper than before. The fire mouse Pokémon leapt towards his trainer when he saw him. Patrick caught Cyndaquil and held him in his arms. Hoothoot hovered around her trainer. The boy was happy to see his Pokémon in such a good mood, but was even happier that they were okay. He turned to the Nurse Joy.

"Thank you for healing them! They even seem stronger than they were before!" Patrick said while petting Cyndaquil's head.

"Not a problem! All I have to say is, don't work your Pokémon so hard. Especially Cyndaquil; he's still a very young Pokémon, albeit a strong one." She lectured.

Patrick exited the Pokémon Center with all three Pokémon out of their Poké Balls. All three looked ready for the next route, ready for battle. Especially Cyndaquil, whose flames were emitting vigorously. Overall, all three of his teammates were more energetic than before, even Poliwhirl.

"Hey guys, I know you're all ready to go kick ass in the next route, but Poliwhirl here had a tough day, and you two should take a little more time to recover. So, think of today as a break. No battles for the rest of the day, just rest, relaxation, rock and roll for me!" Patrick laughed, petting each and every of his Pokémon.

Even though they wanted to continue on, they were more overjoyed than they were disappointed. Patrick knew the city well enough by now, so he gave his Pokémon a tour. Along the way, he even told Hoothoot and Cyndaquil how he was robbed and got his stuff back, and the fisherman he met in the process. They were amazed to hear about all the battles Poliwhirl got himself in to. They went back to the docks, which were empty by now. The fire mouse Pokémon attempted to run in the water when he saw a Magikarp splashing, but the tadpole Pokémon acted like a parental figure, stopping him in his tracks. Cyndaquil was saddened that he didn't get to explore, but he looked at the water and figured out why. Hoothoot and Patrick laughed at the scene. Surely, Cyndaquil had a lot to learn.

***

Night time took over the Johto region once again. As the city lights began to shine, Cyndaquil did exactly the opposite. Patrick walked back to the Pokémon Center with his fire mouse in his arms. He was sleeping, curled up in a ball. Hoothoot's internal clock had been a little on the abnormal side since her trainer caught her awake during the daytime, so the nocturnal Pokémon contradicted her true nature by being tired in the night. She flew along with Patrick, ready to fall asleep whenever she came in contact with a bed. Poliwhirl was just fine, he was used to insomnia. The Pokémon and their trainer made their way to the room he had still vacated. He retrieved the key from his pocket, opened the door, entered the room with his Pokémon, and didn't come out till the next day.

The ringtone stopped when he answered the PokéGear, triggering his curious Eevee to jump on her hind legs with her front paws on his leg. She looked up and titled her head back and forth as her trainer spoke.

Click to expand...

Cuteness overload <3

The Pokémon released was a petite, canine creature. Most of its short fur was black, while its under belly was orange with a red tint. Its pointed ears moved occasionally while its short snout sniffed its surroundings. Though a small Pokémon, it had a hard head, only because it was protected by a partially full skull. It also had two ribs on its back, and white cuffs around each of its ankles.

Click to expand...

I found the description quite good here. Really painted a Houndour in my mind.

Poliwhirl grabbed hold of the smaller Pokémon with one arm while he pulled on the fishing line with his other.

Click to expand...

Poliwhirl to the rescue! I liked how he didn't leave the little guys alone and decided to help :3

He put the Chinchou back into the water, as he clearly wasn't interested in catching it.

Click to expand...

Whaaat D: Chinchou's great. Haha, anyway, this was a nice touch, it shows how Pat considered what Pokemon he hand in mind to catch.

He retrieved his Super Rod, retrieved a Poké Ball from his pocket, and connected it to the hook. While still running, he rose his fishing rod in the air, and cast it out with all his strength. He pressed a button that let out the excess string, which helped the Poké Ball go further.

Click to expand...

Nice plan there.

The fire mouse Pokémon attempted to run in the water when he saw a Magikarp splashing, but the tadpole Pokémon acted like a parental figure, stopping him in his tracks.

Click to expand...

I like how realistic Cyndaquil's personality is, as he's being portrayed as a naive child.


Overall Comments :

Totally improved chapter, as compared to the last. I was really happy about the battle scenes, especially the long-drawn out one at the end between the bad guy and Patrick. Cole helping out was a very nice touch with his Kingler and Cloyster. The descriptions were really great back there, and it was very easy to picture the battle in my mind, so keep it up. The friendship between Poliwhirl and Patrick, as well as the budding one between him and his other Pokemon is something I would like to see more of as well. Overall, I'm very pleased with how this chapter came out, it makes me look forward to the next one even more (:

However, one thing that still seems imperfect is well... Patricks perfection. He's friendly, resourceful, kind, brave and has a sense of justice. That's the opinion I have about him so far. The only bad point I see in him is that he tends to oversleep ^^; I'd like to see more of Patrick's flaws, because that makes him all the more belivable as the main character. Now, his Pokemon's personalities actually seem more developed than his. We have Poliwhirl, the mischevious and loyal sidekick. Cyndaquil, the slightly disobedient and childish baby and Hoothoot, the quick-thinker with the cold shoulder.

Yep. That's all I've got to say for now.

Here is the first half of Chapter 4.

-----
Chapter 4 I

It was a slow day in Cherrygrove City. Street activity was on the low end, and the Pokémon Center had a lot less business than it normally had. The afternoon hour had reached five twenty eight, but Patrick and his Pokémon were all still fast asleep. Cyndaquil was curled up in a ball and sleeping comfortably on his own bed above the blankets, while Poliwhirl and Hoothoot slept in different mannerisms. The bird Pokémon was standing on the floor, but she preferred that over the bed. The tadpole Pokémon was lightly snoring and peacefully sleeping on his bed. However, their trainer slept like an Octillery and snored like a Snorlax on his part of the bed. Despite this, neither Pokémon or trainer woke up from their pleasant rest. That was, until a fast paced song with heavy instrumentals and loud vocals began blasting from his PokéGear. It was so loud, it could've been waking the fallen.

It's cold tonight as the clouds turn grey
And from my hands to my brothers grave
You took his side, you took his gift,
feel the power of a fallen man...
crestfallen man

The songs lyrics kept going. Patrick rose from his bed without a problem, but Cyndaquil got startled and fell out of his bunk. His teammates just shrugged off the alarm, woke up, and stretched. However, tears began to well up in the fire Pokémon's eyes, trying to reach a small bump on his head. His short arms didn't allow him to. Patrick let the music continue on so he could attend to Cyndaquil's troubles. He picked up his timid Pokémon and rubbed his head. It didn't take the Pokémon long to become content. The trainer set his Pokémon back down on his bed before stopping the song, which by now, was headache inducing to the others. He looked outside the window to see the afternoon sun. A confused look overtook his face.

"Wait, the sun shouldn't be this bright right now, and the PokéGear said five thirty..." He looked down at his device, but he almost dropped it when he jolted up in shock.

Sure, the time was five thirty. But, five thirty PM, not AM, like he thought he had set it.

"Frick! We gotta high tail it if we're gonna make it to Violet City!" He looked down at his PokéGear once more in disbelief that he had slept in for twelve hours.

Patrick jumped into his clothes. He didn't even take time to properly tie his shoes. His Pokémon looked at their trainer, completely unaware of whatever the problem was. Though he was in a rush, he still made sure he didn't leave anything before going out the door..

"Aright guys! Let's go!"

Though they were still confused, Patrick's Pokémon obeyed nevertheless. He slammed the door shut before dashing to the front desk. He was in such a rush, he didn't even bother speaking to Nurse Joy after leaving the key and jolting out of the Pokémon Center. Once outside, he looked in the direction Route 30 was. Right when he was about to make another dash, he felt his stomach growl and heard his Pokémon's. Despite the fact that he didn't want to waste a single minute of the light that remained in the day, having a full stomach before a rushed expedition was more important. Since he knew his way around the city by now, he rushed to the nearest eatery. The place they went to wasn't a five star restaurant, and it wasn't even close to a fast food joint. Alas, the source of food for Patrick and his Pokémon was a small food stand in the front of an alley way.

Chip bags, sweets, and small containers of Pokémon Food filled the stand to every possible vacant spot. Behind it was a refrigerator connected to a battery. Soda pop energy drinks, and sandwiches took over every inch inside it. The boy who ran the mini-eatery wasn't much older than Patrick. He stood behind the counter as the trainer approached.

"Hello, how may I help you this boring day?" He asked.

"Oh, I'm just here to get three cans of Pokémon Food, a bag of bar-barbecue chips and a turkey sandwich, if you won't mind."

The boy looked at each of Patrick's Pokémon before grabbing their food. The three cans each had symbols representing a Pokémon type. A ball of flame representing fire, a wing for flying, and a droplet of water for aquatic types. The trainer was impressed that the food stand had Pokémon Food for specific types. The owner then grabbed a turkey sub-sandwich from the frig and a bag of chip, placing them each next to the Pokémon Food. Finally, he retrieved a brown paper bag to put all the items in.

"Normally I would charge, but you're a Pokémon Trainer, so it's on the house." He smiled as he handed the bag to Patrick.

"Why thank you! That's awful generous of you," He said. "Thanks for the free food again." He said again before departing.

Hoothoot flew near the bag, knowing what was in it. She tried to get into it until being told otherwise by her trainer. Cyndaquil watched her failed attempt before trying to get the food himself. He figured it would be smart not to, however. Poliwhirl was more patient compared to his comrades. He waited for Patrick to say something. Soon enough, his endurance through hunger was rewarded.

"Alright guys, we're going to be at Route 30 in a couple minutes, we'll eat once we're there. Trust me, it'll taste better if we wait."

Though they wanted to eat now, Hoothoot and Cyndaquil trusted his word, much to their own dismay. But, he said that they would be there soon. After five minutes of speed walking and taking a shortcut or two through a few city obstacles, they arrived at the entrance to Route 30. A narrow path surrounded by a mass of trees lead up to a steep hill that was near patches of tall grass. Walking up the hill would be possible, but not for travelers plagued with hunger. A couple Rattata scurried across the grass. Unless someone was standing near or above them, the pint sized Pokémon could hardly be seen. As Patrick approached, he was careful that he didn't step on any of the rat Pokémon. While most fled when they sensed the trainer, a few remained completely oblivious to the situation. One just watched him as he passed by, but its attention soon focused on browsing for food. Cyndaquil was distracted for a moment by a group of Rattata collecting food all in one place, but ran to his trainer when he noticed he wasn't with the rest of the group.

Patrick sat down near a pond. It was big enough to house a family or two of water Pokémon, depending on their size. All three of his Pokémon seemed overjoyed that it was food time. Cyndaquil, Hoothoot, and Poliwhirl all lined up side by side. The trainer took the lid off of each can before placing them in front of the Pokémon whose element corresponded with their type. He noticed though that the food in each can seemed jammed together, leaving the Pokémon eating the food having to use effort to get some of it out. Since the trainer didn't want this, he poured the food out in front of each Pokémon and separated any food clumps. As his Pokémon began eating, Patrick smiled now that he was now going to get his turn. Without even bothering to wash his hands after touching Pokémon Food, he got his sandwich and chip bag and ate whatever was edible. He was as happy as his Pokémon were, all enjoying their late lunch very much.

A Pokémon lurking in the grass watched the group eat. Its size wasn't great, smaller than the size of the common Rattata. Its green color blended in with the grass, so it went unnoticed when it slithered towards the Pokémon Food. It was a larval Pokémon, clearly a bug type. It snuck up to Cyndaquil's pile of food, was he was closest. It grabbed a piece with its mouth and ate it quickly. When it attempted to grab another was when it was noticed by the fire mouse Pokémon. He looked over angrily at the worm Pokémon attempting to eat his food. Patrick only noticed once the fire Pokémon's flames arose. The thief Pokémon released a horrible odor from an orange antennae on its head. Cyndaquil ignored the bug Pokémon's attempt. Its large black eyes looked in horror before being pursued by clearly stronger fire type. The trainer sighed and placed his sandwich on the ground. The tiny Pokémon wasn't nearly quick enough to evade Patrick. He picked up the Pokémon and walked back to his sandwich. It shut its eyes in fear of what was going to happen. Its body was even shaking.

"No need to worry Caterpie, we're not gonna harm you." He said, trying to calm it down.

Patrick ripped off part of his sandwich and offered it to the Caterpie. It took the bug Pokémon a couple seconds to realize the food the trainer was holding in front of its mouth, but it devoured the offering once it noticed. The fearful look in its eyes disappeared as it opened them. The trainer took one more bite of his sandwich before placing it and the worm Pokémon back onto the ground. He looked at Cyndaquil, who was back to eating his food.

"Cyndaquil, you should learn to share. Caterpie here need to eat a lot in order to evolve into Metapod, so giving it a little bit of your food wouldn't hurt. Now, apologize for almost attacking it."

Cyndaquil looked down after being lectured, but he knew Patrick was right. Hoothoot and Poliwhirl watched as the fire Pokémon approached the bug type carrying bits of his own food. Caterpie attempted to hide when it saw the fire mouse, but it had nowhere to go. Once again, concern for its own safety turned to happiness again when Cyndaquil dropped the food he held next to the sandwich before holding his paw out for a handshake, though it was impossible for the limbless Caterpie to shake back. It just exclaimed its excitedly before going back to eating. Hoothoot and Poliwhirl watched this display of kindness, but they had nothing to offer, as they had already finished their meals. Patrick simply looked down and smiled at each of the Pokémon. He began thinking about catching the Caterpie and making it a part of his team, but the appetite that allowed the bug type to eat food meant for a fire Pokémon showed its evolution time was coming pretty soon.

Since she had finished all of her food, Hoothoot simply hopped around on her one visible leg. Poliwhirl was tempted to go for a swim in the pond, but he didn't want to make it more crowded than it already seemed, if only temporary. Instead, he just sat and watched the aquatic wildlife float in the water. He witnessed a group of infant Poliwag exploring the small area, which seemed big to them. He smiled in content remembering his days as a mini tadpole Pokémon. He was soon bored with reminiscing and went back to hang out with Cyndaquil and Caterpie. The bug Pokémon had not yet finished the sandwich that Patrick was eyeing. He salivated over the sight of the food that he certainly wished he hadn't given up, but he knew it was the right thing to do. The fire mouse Pokémon ate his last piece of food before walking up to Patrick. He smiled and looked up to his trainer, waving his arms towards him. Though he couldn't understand Poké Speech, he knew his Pokémon wanted up. He granted the Pokémon's wishes. The fire mouse Pokémon was happy that he had a full tummy.

He held the Pokémon in one arm so he had a free hand to pet with. Cyndaquil enjoyed being stroked on his head, his trainer may have found the Pokémon's feel good spot. He walked over to Caterpie, who was finishing the last bit of food. The bug Pokémon was so full, it hardly felt like moving, though it had to. It moved a couple of feet before coming to a complete stop. Patrick knew what was happening when the worm Pokémon lifted its head to the sky while releasing a continuous stream of String Shot into the air above it. Cyndaquil jumped out of his trainers arms to see what was happening, but he kept a small distance away from the bug Pokémon to not get caught in any of the sticky strings. The shower of String Shot quickly covered Caterpie's body until it was completely concealed. Its body glowed once before completely taking form as a solid.

Hoothoot and Poliwhirl stood before the Pokémon before Cyndaquil's curiosity got the better of him. He poked the still standing Cocoon Pokémon, who fell over. It didn't seem to care about hitting the ground, as its solid outer shell protected the actual Pokémon growing inside of it. Its defense was perfect, a challenge for any Pokémon to shatter. There wasn't a lot to its outer shell, just two eyes on each side of its head. Its body structure kept the shape of a crescent moon a Caterpie makes before and during the evolution process. Patrick picked the Pokémon up and held it in his arms. Cyndaquil, still curious, gazed at him.

"Cyndaquil, this is Metapod, the Pokémon Caterpie evolves into when it starts the process." He explained to the inquisitive Pokémon.

Metapod didn't have any mobility whatsoever by itself, so any Pokémon of the species needed assistance if they weren't near a tree. Patrick looked around for a healthy and predator free zone tree, but he didn't have much success. The area he was currently in was too open for an immobile Pokémon in need of protection. He began walking ahead for more searching. Cyndaquil ran and jumped onto his trainers shoulder so he could get a better view of Metapod. Hoothoot hopped along while Poliwhirl walked by Patrick's side. Soon enough, they reached another part of the route where the only human touch was a path. Other than that, the area was all natural, from the lush green bulk of trees to the varying in size grass. Patrick knew that this place was perfect for Metapod, as the bug Pokémon had no trouble blending in with its surroundings.

As he approached the tree, he witnessed two Caterpie rush to the tree and go through the same evolution the one Patrick was holding did. After crystallizing, they each released one more String Shot attack from the top point of their shell which attached to the trees branches. Then, the strings became shorter and shorter, which caused them to rise with it. Once the process finished, only a short amount of the thread left the Metapod hanging, but it would be hard for a Pokémon attempting to pull it off or away to succeed. The only movement among the Cocoon Pokémon was the slowly rocking back and forth with the breeze. The Metapod Patrick was holding had a gleeful look in its eyes, knowing its temporary home was a suitable and safe one. Once Patrick got closer to the tree, Metapod shot the String Shot. He let go of the Pokémon as soon as the thread began to shorten. Unlike the other two Pokémon, this one was hanging where the branch connected to the tree, with its frontal area facing the bark. It would probably be a boring metamorphosis for this Metapod, since all it could see was tree bark.

Patrick grinned at all three Pokémon. He was happy for all three Metapod, knowing their dreams of flight would soon become a reality. He cut the grin when he noticed a curious Cyndaquil slowly following another Pokémon. The Pokémon had a large, round, yellow body. It was only visible when in flight, as its protective wing covers cloaked both its back and its four clear, thin wings. When in standby mode, its wing covers resembled its actual back. Five black dots scattered around its back. Four at each corner and one large dot in the center. The Pokémon's six purple limbs dangled as it flew. The arms closest to its face were notably large in comparison to the other four. However, the end of each had snow white hands that resembled boxing gloves. The Pokémon's jaw was yellow, while the rest of its head was the same scarlet red as its wing covers. At the top of its head were two large black antennae. Its eyes were very large.

The trainer began to follow Cyndaquil. He soon scooped the young Pokémon up in his arms, but it yelped in surprise, not knowing his trainers presence. The Pokémon he was following turned around when it heard him. Patrick noticed this as the fire mouse Pokémon jumped out of his arms once more for closer inspection of the bug Pokémon. However, the Pokémon began to bully the little Cyndaquil by pushing him with all six of its limbs. Anyone with half a brain could see that the bug Pokémon was full of itself, feeling so superior to the little Pokémon. Patrick approached to intervene when he noticed tears welling up in the younger Pokémon's eyes. However, he stopped when the fire type retaliated with an Ember attack. The target fell down, burnt by the attack. It got back up and raises the fists closest to his head. The superior mood he had before was now anger. Hoothoot walked up to her trainers side, Poliwhirl standing on the other. She clearly wanted to battle, but knew Cyndaquil would refuse to stand down.

"Curiosity killed the Meowth..." Patrick mumbled, "Cyndaquil, Ember!"

Cyndaquil released another fury of mini fire spheres at the opposing Pokémon. However, it quickly dodged and jabbed the Pokémon repeatedly. The fire Pokémon still unleashed another Ember in the midst of being punched. The opposing Pokémon ceased its punches in attempt to shake the pain off.

"Tackle!"

Cyndaquil charged for his opponent as soon as he heard the word. His opponent recovered in time to charge at him with the same attack. The result of the head on collision caused both Pokémon to dizzily stumble around when they landed on the ground. The fire Pokémon came to his senses earlier than the bug Pokémon did, charging at it with another full body tackle. It got sent back a couple of feet, but escaped the dizzy stage when doing so. Both Pokémon charged towards each other once more, but the bug Pokémon used more strategy than the fire type. It gained a mischievous smile has it stopped dead in its tracks. Cyndaquil had no time to stop, so his opponent took the opportunity to tackle his side. He got up afterwards to attempt another tackle attack, but his opponent rammed into him once more. He struggled to get back onto his feet.

"Damn it... Cyndaquil, retur---" Patrick's sentence was interrupted as he took out Cyndaquil's Poké Ball.

Cyndaquil was infuriated by now. He was losing, something he couldn't handle. His body glowed with a crimson red aura. The flames emitting out his back were now more violent than before, almost exploding. The damage he received from the opponent didn't matter at all now, almost as if it was non-existent. Patrick didn't know what was happening, but instinct told him it was nothing bad. He got his PokéDex out to scan for an answer. He read the text aloud once it popped up.

"Cyndaquil's ability, Blaze. Raises the power of fire-type attacks in a pinch." Once he read that, a confident smirk grew on his face.

"Alright, use Ember!"

The opponent Pokémon stepped back in fear when it sensed its opponents rising power, but the dread froze him. Cyndaquil fired off a barrage of fire, but something was different compared to other times he used the attack. The flame bullets released were much larger than other times Cyndaquil had used the attack, and they all joined together to form one giant, powerful ball of fire. The bug Pokémon attempted to escape, but the effort was futile. The attack was too fast. It went up in flames. It could barely get up and dodge after being weakened and damaged by the fire attack.

"Go Poké Ball!"

He threw an empty Poké Ball that he retrieved from his pocket at the weakened Pokémon. It was absorbed by the sphere in a red energy. When the ball closed, it hit the ground and shook back and forth, but lightly. The Pokémon didn't have much to fight back with, but it used whatever it had. However, the ball stopped shaking, and the pressure sensor stopped blinking. Patrick picked up the Poké Ball and scanned it with his PokéDex. He looked over to Cyndaquil, who had stopped glowing from the Blaze ability.

"Good job on a good battle, my friend."

Cyndaquil jumped for joy when he was congratulated. He approached his teammates, whose eyes were on their trainer and their new team mate. The PokéDex finished its scan, and Patrick read the description and information of the Pokémon as usual.

"Ledyba, the Five Star Pokémon. It is so timid, it can't move if it isn't with a swarm of others. It conveys its feelings with scent." He stopped speaking after he read that. Maybe the Ledyba's overconfidence was the reason for the Pokémon to travel alone? He was stumped, but kept reading the useful information.

"Gender, Male. Gender differences, male have larger antennae. Level twelve, known moves are Tackle, Supersonic, and Comet Punch."

He looked down at the Poké Ball before holding it towards his other Pokémon, "Guys, say hello to our new teammate, Ledyba!"

Patrick let Ledyba out of his Poké Ball so he could converse with his new teammates. The Pokémon's pride got in the way of letting his weakness show. Hoothoot kindly greeted him, but he ignored both her and Poliwhirl to come face to face with the Pokémon that defeated him, Cyndaquil. Ledyba figured it would be smart not to attack, so he just glared at the fire mouse Pokémon. Cyndaquil glared right back at him. The disliking they had for each other quickly became clear as they started growling at each other. Patrick watched the two slowly get in each others faces, preparing to return either of them if an all out brawl were to occur. As predicted, a fight broke out. However, Cyndaquil didn't bother using fire attacks, nor did Ledyba use Comet Punch. They were wrestling with each other, but by no means was it a play fight. They were seriously going at it with each hit they landed. Their trainer held up each of their Poké Balls to return them, but they both dodged the red beam. A couple more attempts at returning them also ended in failure.

"****, I don't think they even know I exist..." He worriedly stated, "Poliwhirl, step in!"

Poliwhirl carried out Patrick's request. He probably would have stepped in sooner or later, but he knew his trainer didn't want to see two Pokémon that should be friends in a fight. Hoothoot watched his display of power as he unleashed a spiral of water. The attack separated the two, albeit hurting Cyndaquil. Ledyba and the fire Pokémon temporarily forgot their differences to attack Poliwhirl, but he caught both of them by the scruff of their necks and slammed them into each other. He then threw them in front of his trainer, both Pokémon rattled in how easily they got overpowered.

"Poliwhirl, a little brutal, don't ya think?" He sighed, "At least the problem's resolved for now... But, you two." He knelt down to both Cyndaquil and Ledyba's eye levels.

"You two need to not go into grudge matches whenever you see each other if you're going to function as a team. Ledyba, you need to learn not to bully, you're not the most powerful Pokémon there is. Now, apologize." He lectured.

Both Pokémon looked down in their embarrassment and humility, knowing there wasn't a way out of the situation. Ledyba turned to Cyndaquil offering a handshake. He shook the bug Pokémon's hand, though both turned their heads away while doing so. Swallowing their pride like that certainly wasn't an easy task. Patrick knelt down and pet both their heads, proud of them both. Cyndaquil cheered up immediately from his trainer's kindness, so did Ledyba. However, the five star Pokémon showed his happiness in a different way. He flew towards the trainer in a tackle attack, knocking him down on his ass. He then proceeded to hugging his new master by landing on his torso and not moving. Cyndaquil questioned what was going on, but Hoothoot took action. Clearly she was being defensive about the situation of a newbie getting too close, despite the fact that she wasn't that old to the team herself. Ledyba chose to ignore her complaints, since he would rather show affection for his trainer. She angrily stepped back, knowing that any harmful action would lead to trouble. Poliwhirl on the other hand accepted the new team member, but he knew that Ledyba was most likely still angry about being overpowered.

Patrick looked down at the bug Pokémon who absolutely refused to move. He then proceeded to petting him, but still with a dumbfounded look on his face.

He caressed the rest of his team so neither of them would feel neglected. Once all his Pokémon were content, he rose from the cold ground and looked in the direction he was supposed to be going.

"Alright team, let's go! Let's try not to make anymore stops, okay?"

All of the Pokémon exclaimed their names in unison. Cyndaquil begged to be picked up, so Patrick granted the Pokémon's request. The fire Pokémon then ran up his arm to rest on his shoulder. Ledyba, who was still attached to his torso didn't mind at all. While he and Poliwhirl walked, Hoothoot slowly flew beside them.

I love this story, i really do. I have beeen reading it for a while, and i like it. Tho, as with Ibuberu, the only imperfection of the story is how perfect the characters are! No offense, put i am going to compair the characters to the artwork you have displayed for the them. Patrick and Cameron's artwork is not the greatest, just plain. Thats what they are, just plain pokemon trianers. No backstory. I mean, seriously, dont they have lives? One day Patrick gets a caall from Cameron, and now hes on a Pokemon journey, just like that. Where is his mom? It seems alot of these guys are very happy and make descions just like that. Just plain, corny PKMN trainers. Sorrry if i sound harsh. No, seriously, i love this fanfic, just want to help! =]
But, lets compare the artwork of Kamon to his story. The artwork is amazing, and detailed, and so is Kamon. I can tell he has a great, dark backstory that i can not wait to here. He has such a personality, and i love it. Tho, the otyher guys, and alot of other pplz in your story seems dull, a little too cheery, and have no backstory at all, so i am hoping that in the next few chapters we can see the personalities of the characters grow. Also, dont they have any flaws, or anything? Once again, thy are the cliche, happy PKMN trinaers that are the best they can be....=/ Not to be harsh, but seriously! The POKEMON have more personality than some of teh ppl in this. ugh. im sorry. ive said it before and ill say again : i love this story. Each story out there is a work of progess, so it will have its flaws. If the story has flaws, so should the characters in it. Nobody is perfect, especially if they are fictional. ;] remeber that.

Tho, i may be wrong, since i only read half of Part 3, and I havnt read part 4, so i may be just acting like a fool. ill make sure to read them tommorow, since now its late. Cant wait to see more writing! =]

iDawg said:

I love this story, i really do. I have beeen reading it for a while, and i like it. Tho, as with Ibuberu, the only imperfection of the story is how perfect the characters are! No offense, put i am going to compair the characters to the artwork you have displayed for the them. Patrick and Cameron's artwork is not the greatest, just plain. Thats what they are, just plain pokemon trianers. No backstory. I mean, seriously, dont they have lives? One day Patrick gets a caall from Cameron, and now hes on a Pokemon journey, just like that. Where is his mom? It seems alot of these guys are very happy and make descions just like that. Just plain, corny PKMN trainers. Sorrry if i sound harsh. No, seriously, i love this fanfic, just want to help! =]
But, lets compare the artwork of Kamon to his story. The artwork is amazing, and detailed, and so is Kamon. I can tell he has a great, dark backstory that i can not wait to here. He has such a personality, and i love it. Tho, the otyher guys, and alot of other pplz in your story seems dull, a little too cheery, and have no backstory at all, so i am hoping that in the next few chapters we can see the personalities of the characters grow. Also, dont they have any flaws, or anything? Once again, thy are the cliche, happy PKMN trinaers that are the best they can be....=/ Not to be harsh, but seriously! The POKEMON have more personality than some of teh ppl in this. ugh. im sorry. ive said it before and ill say again : i love this story. Each story out there is a work of progess, so it will have its flaws. If the story has flaws, so should the characters in it. Nobody is perfect, especially if they are fictional. ;] remeber that.

Tho, i may be wrong, since i only read half of Part 3, and I havnt read part 4, so i may be just acting like a fool. ill make sure to read them tommorow, since now its late. Cant wait to see more writing! =]

Click to expand...

So this is a story about art now?
Well, Patrick and Cameron are made with just some flash game dressup thing at DeviantArt. If I was an artist, I'd draw them myself. Alas, I be a writer.

And I know, I'm working on the character personalities more with the recent/current chapters, especially during the chapter I'm currently writing.

And, they do have a backstory; Patrick and Cameron have both been through their own Pokémon journey in the Kanto region. That journey is a prequel that has yet to be written. I would've gone with that first, but I made this Johto journey in excitement for the upcoming remakes.

So, yes. They do have lives. Cameron got a little nerdy with his after Kanto, working for Professor Elm. Patrick took an extended break after the Kanto League, he lost his will for battle. That got boring for him. Cameron decided to give him a call once the Johto League was announced (Pilot) and there you go; that's why they're in Johto.

And, thanks for the kind words!