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Old February 22nd, 2011 (5:29 AM).
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Join Date: Mar 2008
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And I am now caught up! ~ That only took a good yet enjoyable while of reading in-between shouting at my internet. XD

I like the scenes the grunts continue to get here and there - thoroughly enjoyable what with one declaring himself to be the main character and hero, to one getting very drunk (I quite like drunk characters myself XD) to them running away from 50+ clones of Kester... and then stuff like the Trick House, inspired from the wonders of Quartz no less which is always an entertaining source of inspiration. XD Fairly entertaining overall, and probably more so than the first part of the story, arguably (but that would be a close call tbh).

I did notice that these chapters seemed to have more going on in the way of fourth wall breakage than the others - not a bad thing (I enjoy such things myself) but certainly a notable change there. Natalie's acceptance of Kester's story was unexpected but an interesting choice with plot... and the Rayquazza death was nicely pulled I thought - the mood swing that came from it was noticeable but it did not affect the story's flow too much I feel (maybe could be help with a bit more comedy at the beginning of that scene but certainly the death itself does not need anything, that's likely disrupt. Plus he is pretty awesome too as you said =p). Kaleb the Pokemon fanatic amused me as well - another RSE character I recall from the games, down to his team. I liked the inclusion of his child given the sprite as well - nice attention of detail. =)

I swear, if I had had just an ounce less self-composure, I would have flung myself at her and showered her with adoration for that comment.
This amused me a fair bit. XD
“Hmm,” I said, still somewhat shocked. “That’s unexpected, but not that useful... let’s keep looking.
Missing a quotation mark at the end there.
“Not sure,” replied Natalie. “But look more closely. It’s not the goods themselves being taken to Mauville. They’re going to be built into a ‘Y-38P SuperBlast Module’, and then sent up to the Spectroscopic Fancy Company in Mauville.”
I love these names btw. XD
So my guess is that this Y-38P SuperBlast Module is something that they both Teams want.”
That 'they' seems unnecessary (maybe left in after an edit?)
Most of these so-called ‘legendaries’ are either exaggerated memories of Pokémon now extinct, or never existed at all; there are only five such species other than Rayquaza known to exist: Mew, Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres, Raikou, Entei and Suicune.
I counted more than five there, unless you count one of those trios as one but if so that isn't clear.
On a lighter note, the death of Rayquaza, Puck said, brightening. Oh. Wait. That’s a darker note. Never mind. So: what’s our opinion, boys and girls?
XD I like Puck's lines quite often.
“My own little project,” Zero replied. “A hobby; a game; a bet; call it what you will, it’s all the same.
My own speculation is that him saying that, along with mentioning 'a bet' as a possible thing to call it...might indicate some more on who Zero is? I might be reading too much into it but I did recall a similar scene when I read this...
Note:Technically, I guess the Sableye ought to have been shiny, but I kind of don't care.
I suppose it might, but oh well? =p I do like the concept of an over-levelled Sableye however, especially one that is afraid of everything (bar a creepy doll), and he's certainly an interesting addition to the team (I had been wondering if he would play any significant part given his earlier mentions in the story...).
Me too. I’ve not seen anything as surprising as this since Macbeth beat Macduff at the end of a production I saw in London.
I'm not sure as I only vaguely remember the film and not even the title, but was this a reference to a film...? Only reference thus far I am unsure about (the rest I got or missed =p).
[I]Yeah. Kind of makes a mockery of their name, doesn’t it? [\I]Sable-eye, the Darkness Pokémon.
Tags failed there.
“That is the strangest house I’ve ever seen,” I stated unnecessarily, as we stopped to stare.

I don’t know. Ever been to Holland?
IDK, Holland's houses still have some beating to do with that house. XD
“I’m stuck!” yelped his partner, wriggling violently and not moving an inch.
Fabien struck one palm against his forehead and yelled at the heavens with all the passion of Hamlet after meeting Fortinbras’ captain; his words were unprintable, but carried the general message that fortune was a strumpet, and that God was, as Beckett’s blind cripple would have it, not only nonexistent but also born out of wedlock.
More line spacing is needed there.
They do crazy stuff, for no adequately-explained reason, and travel together in little groups of people who are bound together only by their mutual shared values of sharing and kindness. He paused. Actually, forget that last bit. That only applies to this freakishly pleasant kid called Ash I met once.
XD interesting...pity I do not know the anime in case this was an anime reference as well (I suppose he did meet one Rotom sometime after all).
“I demand two prizes,” I snapped. “Unless they’re really, really nice, and one of them
would make up for twenty minutes on its own.”
Enter seems to have been randomly hit in the middle of that sentence.
Yeah, TMs are weird like that, Puck said. Like, in Johto they make these Ice Punch TMs, and you can teach them to Wooper. Which is weird, because Wooper don’t have any hands.
Hah, that's one example I always liked to mention myself. XD
“Some of them are quite good!” Sapphire protested. “Now be quiet and let me choose.”
“Whatever, kid.”
“If Team Aqua is around,” the hobo said, “then it concerns me. I’m a law-abiding citizen.”
“I seriously doubt that,” sneered Felicity, looking him up and down. “Get out of the way, and then I won’t have to shoot you.”
Like above, more line spacing is needed there. (The random hobo was an interesting addition as well btw, heh).

Anyways... all in all this is a nice story with great humour and characters and dialogue, so if it wasn't already clear, colour me entertained. =p Keep it up!