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Old February 27th, 2012 (5:46 AM).
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    Originally Posted by psyanic View Post
    Are spoiler tags the new trend or something?

    Yes. Yes they are. :D

    Welcome to FF&W as well as the world of Fanfiction, dbcification! It's an exciting world, writing is. Length is not a concern. If people criticize you for length, it would be about how you rushed this, or it didn't flow like this, or this wasn't shown to be important enough, or anything else. Overall, it shouldn't matter. Long or short, as long as it's good writing, it's fine. People do not get turned off by long stories, trust me. I mean people read books all the time. I read the last Harry Potter book the day it came out because I was so excited, despite it breaking 700 pages. It did take me all day to finish it, but that's okay. It was a really good read and a satisfying ending. The same applies for fanfiction. Write as much as you need to get your story across, that's all that really matters.

    The protagonist leaving isn't a prologue, I'll tell you that right now. A prologue would be some big event that sets your story into motion, like 9/11 caused the war on terror. Yeah, that's not exactly a story example but you get the point. Preferably, you should write in chapters. A lot of authors have acts, but that's just to separate the chapters. Not many release their story in acts. Use chapters. It's neater and easier to track, posting each chapter one at a time.

    That's good. I was worried that people would just click away after they saw the length. Chapters do certainly sound more manageable, so I'm taking your advice there, even though it means I'll have a ton of posts to write them all up on here. :/

    So now, onto the egg and Sneasel. Yes, they are known to be seriously vicious, but that doesn't mean there aren't exceptions. I don't see why that would be so important to Professor Elm; it's just one Pokemon. It's temperament is a bit more mild, but overall it's still a Sneasel. It doesn't have three arms or an extra head, so why he'd be interested is beyond me. Professor Elm studies eggs, right? It would more canon if Professor Elm wanted to study the aging of a Pokemon hatched from an egg in captivity versus one in the wild, so he could ask Ethan about that and his help in research that way. In this case, you can mention how different its nature is from other Sneasel because of the way it was raised, you might mention egg moves, there are a lot of things you could do in that case. It's far more interesting rather than, "This Sneasel wouldn't hurt a fly. I think I want to study why!" If he studied people like that, he'd study everyone. He'd wonder why some people like this type of music and not this, because that's the standard kind. He'd survey what their favorite hairstyle was, and he'd be running around the world with a lot of questions. He'd wonder why some people can solve math problems, whereas others can't without a calculator.

    Well, the reason behind Sneasel's nature being such a big deal is that
    in my story, essentially, Team Rocket has returned to power in Kanto to the degree that people had to evacuate, and that caused the Gym Leaders, the Elite Four, and any competent adult Trainers to go stand guard over an area, namely from Indigo Plateau to Route 26. Professor Elm's research has changed from studying the particulars of Pokemon evolution to studying how Pokemon can rise above the norms of their species, which is what is needed to defeat Team Rocket, since they are much, much stronger this time around, and a lot less, well, Team Rocket-ish (i.e no more "Oh no I dropped the Lift Key!").

    So, I've payed a lot of attention to it because it sets up a line of communication for Ethan to take his mind off the situation that brought him to Johto, and it allows Professor Elm to get some much needed help on his research, since his assistant
    who, in my story, has gone off to the blockade to keep Team Rocket out of Johto (his daughter is my supporting protagonist as well)

    isn't around anymore. It also allows for Ethan and the supporting protagonist (who I'm calling Lyra (may change, not sure on it yet) to meet and for some kind of bond to start between the two of them.

    I'm really trying to capture the awkwardness of being a teenager trying to fit into adult problems in an adult world in this spot in the story, because the thing that sparks Ethan and Lyra's friendship is Lyra being chased by Sneasel (who Ethan told to hide in the woods and play sheepdog after seeing Lyra sneaking peeks into the Lab and disappearing if she saw Ethan see her) up into the lab, and revealing that her father's been killed in the fighting at the blockade. Ethan, being a real bonehead (much like I was at that age) doesn't know how to comfort her properly, so he blurts out his ambition to become strong enough to wipe Team Rocket out someday, which gives Lyra the support of a comrade, if you will, and she begins training with Ethan so they can both become stronger and take on the Johto League (which is an Elite Four I set up so that Trainers in Johto still have a shot at the Pokemon League).

    So that's why I focus on Sneasel and Professor Elm's interest in it. I'm sure I could find another way to do what I'm trying to do, but that's the one that made the most sense in my head.

    Ironically, Ash is like that. I mean the way you're describing the character, since you want to use his mindset. AKA, being a complete doofus, can't tie his own shoes without yelling Thunderbolt, can't put 2 and 2 together (literally), etc. He also loses his temper easily, like when he met Paul in Sinnoh. I swear every time they met, Ash tried to act cool and Paul called him a loser and voila, Pokemon battle! The same goes with Trip, because that prick calls Ash a hick all the time. Come on Trip, get some new insults. Red neck jokes get old. Anyway, your character wants revenge? That's a different meal. Revenge is a meal best served cold. That's a big tone, in my opinion. The antagonist would have to do something more than just piss him off. It would be interesting to see his demeanor change as he continually meets his rival and his Sneasel feeds off that dark personality. And then they keep adding their negative influence, so you get some really messed up character. And that's freaking awesome. Now that does complicate things since you want that goody goody stuff in him. I mean, the only thing you can really do is change him. Don't make him be like Ash, a snot-nosed, selfish kid, and make him really chill or something. Either way, you'll figure something out.

    That's really good advice, yeah. In light of what's above in my spoiler'd sections, I wanted to sort of keep Ethan friendly enough and outgoing enough to not alienate the supporting protagonist, even though both of them are motivated by revenge. I haven't really imagined any sort of rival for Ethan except the supporting protagonist, and it's not one of the Gold/Silver type of rivalries where the rival is someone who is the polar opposite of the protagonist, regardless of their reasoning.
    I do plan on having parts of Johto be more Rocket-friendly, such as Mahogany Town, but it'll definitely be a subsurface support, because I'm making Pryce a part of the Johto Elite Four, and having Silver take his place at his Gym. I don't see how an evil rival would do the story any good though, since I already have a friend/rival in Lyra for Ethan.

    I definitely want the situation they're both in to slowly change him, but I guess I'd rather him turn into a rather dark hero who still knows where he stands on his values and beliefs (they can change, I just want him to know them) even though he's become so jaded and hurt by all the stuff that will happen to him over the story rather than turn from a mostly happy character to a sort of anti-hero (if that made any sense whatsoever). So this paragraph is mainly a sounding board. XD

    Oh, one last topic: Eggs. Nah, that's not a big deal. Pokemon are practically worshipped in their world, so receiving a Pokemon egg is like catching one without the effort. The problem is how they receive the egg, but you won't reveal the plot so there's nothing else I can say.

    Okay, so how about
    Ethan and Lyra becoming horribly lost in Ilex Forest, only to be found and rescued by a very badly injured Celebi, who, upon teleporting them to the exit of the forest, gives Lyra its egg, and then fades away (still working on a way to not make that sound cheesy. Maybe a bit of time travel is needed?)

    Because that's how I've envisioned Lyra getting the egg of said rare Pokemon. Does that sound too cliche or too... I don't know, badfic-y?

    Yeah, I finished! I'm so happy. Well, now I wasted about 10 minutes typing and doing nothing but help other people, when I should study. But studying is really boring and I prefer writing and reviewing and that stuff. Oh well. Big woop. Good luck with your story and I'll be looking forward to reading it!
    Bah, time's never wasted when you're doing something you enjoy.
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