Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince

Alex2

Sprite master
    • 20
    Posts
    20
    Years
    • Age 34
    • Seen Dec 1, 2005
    Harry Potter and Voldemort's Neice

    I'm writing my own version of the 6th book, Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince.

    New characters:

    Alex Vatticon; Slytherin Transfer (:female:), (no she's not me.)

    Henry Piasly: Poitions - Florina Monital; Potions

    Progress:

    Currently working on Chapter One

    Note:

    This is a re-make of J.K. Rowling's book, so it will contain some or most of her version.


    My Crappy (Computer-Made) Cover:

    [PokeCommunity.com] Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince


    Reveals:

    I'll reveal a little about my version, let me find my book first (pulls out a huge binder)


    Let's see:

    I'll mainly say these four things:

    1. You'll be seeing a lot of Alex beside Draco, instead of Pansy Parkison.

    2. There's going to be a Valentine's Day "party".

    3. Two unexpected things happen at the "party".

    4. Alex is closer to Voldemort, than you would think.


    Teasers:

    Here are some pieces from my story:

    The teenage girl stepped forward, pulling out her wand, and pointing it straight at Harry. Harry was surprised, as he had expected Malfoy or Narcissa, but not the girl.

    "Now there's no need for that, Alex," said Narcissa, smiling slightly down at her.

    "Yes ma'am," said the girl politely, and she put away her wand. She curtsied somewhat, and took to glaring murderously at Harry beside Malfoy, as though she had cared he had insulted Malfoy's father.

    I'm also posting an idea I had for part of a chapter of my version of the 7th HP book (mine's called Voldemort's Neice, Draco's Version. [it continues from my 6th version])

    Idea:

    "You failed to kill the Potter boy, while you had the chance?" said Voldemort, clearly not trying to disguise the outrage in his voice.

    "No sir," said a frightened, seventeen-year-old girl. The girl had pale skin, light, almost white, blonde hair that fell down to her waist, and cold blue eyes.

    There was a silence, then suddenly, the girl was on the ground, screaming, twitching, tears streaming down her face as she was tortured. Although she had expected worse, it still was a surprise for her. A sering pain was washing over her, wave by wave, as she lay there in agony. Voledmort had used the crutatious curse on her non-verbally, and sat and stared at her, a sick smile on his white face. He had no lips, and instead of a nose, just slits for nostrils, and red eyes with small pupils, like that of a snakes.

    Another tall, pale seventeen-year-old stood to the side of the torturing. He had a pale pointed face and white-blonde hair. He watched in slight horror as the girl continued to scream in pain. He had a powerful urge to hurt Voldemort, but new better of it. A small tear slowly made its way down his pale face, but he did not know why, and hastily wiped it away.

    After what seemed like days to both teenagers, the girl stopped screaming and lay facing Voldemort, her eyes, if possible, were even colder, and hatred toward the thing in front of her etched her pretty face.

    "Well, what are you waiting for?" shouted Voldemort. The girl got up as quick as she could, while the boy resisted a strong and strange urge to help her.

    "Come on, Draco," she muttered through clenched teeth, as she walked past the pale teenager. He quickly followed after her.

    "I expect better out of you next time, Alex!" hissed Voldermort menacingly after them.
     
    Last edited:
    Wow... looks nice. I'll be sure to keep an eye for this topic.
     
    Thank You So Much!!!!!!

    Thank you. I'm getting tired of people posting in my threads saying the hate remakes or HP. Thanks for not doing that.
     
    Wow I also look foward to reading your version too, it pretty much made me read the whole thing like I was reading an engrossing published story. Well done.
     
    OMG! *faints from nice comments* Two nice comments in a row! *dances for 5 days*

    THank you all. I've got another "teaser" here for the 6th book, but it has spoilers in it, so the words that are spoilers will be marke out like this:

    *spoiler spoiler spoiler*

    Anyways here it is:

    Harry suddenly noticed Alex and Malfoy leaving the ball, trying to be unnoticed.

    "I'm going to go see what Malfoy and Alex are up to," Harry told Hermione and Ron.

    "Oh will you drop it?" said Hermione sighing.

    "No, I won't!" snapped Harry, and with that, he made his way through the large crowd. After what seemed like days, Harry had found his way to the hallway leading to the Slytherin common room, and what he saw greatly surprised him. There against the wall, were * spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler ... ...
    spoiler!*
    Harry tried hard not to laugh, but a laugh escaped from his mouth, and unfortunately for Harry, they both noticed. *spoiler* took one look at Harry, *spoiler spoiler spoiler, spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler. spoiler*, however, bye-passed pink and red, and turned maroon.

    "You mention this to a soul, Potter," *spoiler* said menacingly, the murderous glare in *spoiler *spoiler spoiler* eyes again, "and you won't live long enough for Voldemort to murder you." Harry was surprised to hear *spoiler* use Voldemort's name, most wizards were afraid to say or hear the name. "And I mean it," *spoiler* concluded, with a look on *spoiler* face that showed him *spoiler* wasn't kidding. *spoiler* then strode down the hallway, leaving Harry snickering.

    He then rushed back to Ron and Hermione, where with all the noise, he was sure they would not be overheard, and told them everything he had just witness. After he had finished, Ron burst out laughing, and Hermione stood rooted to the spot, her eyes as big as Galleons.

    "Do you think *spoiler* really meant what *spoiler* said?'' asked Harry after a moment of silence, where the only sounds were of Ron's laughter and the people around them talking.

    "Of course not. *Spoiler* couldn't kill you with Dumbledore around," said Hermione, sounding somewhat annoyed.


    "Yeah Harry, Hermione's right," agreed Ron, finally stopping laughing.

    Although I don't know why I even put the spoilers things in, the first sentence probably gives it away, that and if you payed attention to the other two "teasers".
     
    Last edited:
    Wow... reaaaally good... about the Valentines' "party" and the other one... correct me if I'm wrong... I think it is "ball"... like Valentines' Ball...... or something like that... anyway... I must say that it's very very close to the style of Rowling... but well... I said close... I'm still reading the book... so... I didn't read the part when *spoiler spoiler* thing appeared XD. Anyway... I'm bad writing reviews... so... farewell! *disappears*
     
    Thanks, I think. I've got another here somewhere, and you're right, it probably should be more of a ball.

    More *soiler spoiler* things, just not as many.

    Harry arrived in the Great Hall, along with Ron, Hermione, and the rest of his house, to find the other houses had already arrived.

    The Great Hall was decorated specially for the occasion. Faries dressed as cupid flittered near the ceiling, pink and red banners, hearts, and ribbons were strung about, and the most magnificent of it all, was a large, hand-sculpted ice sculpture, in the shape of a heart, that was placed on the staff table. Harry also noticed vaguely that Dumbledore had gotten a witch band, The Weird Sitsters, as entertainment.

    Harry glanced around the Hall for Malfoy and Alex, and spotted them quickly, and somewhat easily. Alex was wearing silver, glittering dress robes, that actualy make her look acctractive. Malfoy was wearing a set of green robes, almost identicall to the ones he had worn in Madam Malkins's shop. As the Weird Sisters, began to play, Harry could see Alex sigh, a look of annoyance on her face. Malfoy, on the other hand, looked like he would rather be anywhere else. Harry watched Malfoy and Alex most of the time, making sure they could not sneak off withought him noticing.

    Halfway tthrough the ball, *Spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler's spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler, spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler, spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler.* Harry tapped Ron and Hermione on the shoulder, and pointed at the two. Ron and Hermione snickered as they watched them. *Spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler, spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler,* when *spoiler* was saved by the Weird Sisters, who had ended their song.

    *Spoiler* hurried quickly into a corner, and avoided anyone's, and everyone's eyes. Alex stood a few feet beside him, her arms crossed, but a smug look on her face that Harry had seen on Malfoy's face, many times, as though anyone woud have wanted to be in her place.
     
    Last edited:
    Do you have chapter 1 done? If so i would like to read it. Maybe we could work on boo 7 together.
     
    Yeah, but I need to type it. I've got different chapters done, because I'm n ot changing them. 'll PM and we can talk about writing the 7th book together.

    I'll get to work on typing the 1st chapter, after I finish something else.
     
    ok, well good luck with that.
     
    wow!really good! you've done a great!job!way to go!
    ~sky
     
    THanks A lot! I'm glad someone finally posted. I prefered not to double post. Let's see new stuff:

    A teaser, with no *spoiler spoiler* things!;

    For a moment, he could not find
    Malfoy or Alex on the map, and
    assumed that, once again, they
    were in the Room of Requirement.
    But then he spotted Malfoy and
    Alex's, tiny, labeled dots, in an
    unused boys bathroom, accompanied,
    not by Crabbe or Goyle, but by
    Moaning Myrtle.

    Harry only stopped staring at the
    unlikely trio, when he walked right
    into a suit of armor. The loud crash
    brought him out of his reverie;
    hurrying away from the scene, lest
    Filch turn up. He dashed down the
    marble stairway, and along the
    passageway below. Outside the
    bathroom he pressed his ear to the
    door. He could not hear anything. He
    then very quietly, pushed the door open.

    Draco Malfoy was standing with his
    back to the door, his hands clutching
    either side of the sink, his white-blonde
    head bowed. Alex stood directly beside
    him, her arms wrapped around him as though
    giving him a hug, her head resting on his
    shoulder, her hair flowing around her like a
    parted curtain. From what Harry could tell,
    there was a look of deep concern on her
    face.

    "Don't," crooned Moaning Myrtle, from
    one of the cubicles. "Don't... tell me...
    I can help you..."

    "No one can help me," said Malfoy. His
    whole body was shaking, causing Alex to
    vibrate somewhat, though she did not
    move a muscle. "I can't do it... I can't...
    It won't work... and unless I do it soon...
    he says he'll kill me... ."

    Harry could see the tears welling up in
    Alex's eyes, and she fought to keep them
    from falling. And then, with a shock so
    huge it seemed to root him to the spot,
    Harry realized that Malfoy was crying -
    actually crying - tears streaming down
    his pale face into the grimy basin. Malfoy
    gasped and gulped, then, with a great
    shudder, looked up into the cracked mirror
    and saw Harry staring at him.

    Malfoy moved toward Harry, his wand
    raised, easily breaking free of Alex's arms,
    not paying attention as she slid to the floor,
    as though her only support had been Malfoy.

    Harry shouted the first words that came to
    mind, "SECTRUMSEMPRA!"

    Malfoy staggered backwards, and fell onto
    the floor, as a gash appeared from his
    chest to his stomach, as though an invisible
    sword had slashed him.

    Alex screamed, and began to cry
    uncontrollably, making her seem almost human.
    She then crawled the very short distance
    between herself and Malfoy, taking out her
    wand. She moved her wand over the gash,
    Malfoy laying unconscious in a pool of
    his own blood, muttering words Harry
    could not hear. The bleeding slowed
    down a good measure, although it was
    still somewhat severe.

    She then took off the traveling cloak she
    was wearing, that had blended in so well
    with her robes that Harry did not know it
    was there, and wrapped it around the gash,
    her hands trembling so badly that Malfoy
    shook too. She then took a shuddering breath,
    and fainted, her head landing on Malfoy's
    shoulder.

    Alex became conscious about a half a
    minute later, in time to hear Moaning
    Myrtle finally shouting, "MURDER!
    MURDER IN THE DESERTED BOY'S
    BATHROOM! MURDER!"

    Alex took one look at Malfoy, and
    remembered what had happened.

    "Accio Harry's wand!" said Alex,
    and before he could do anything,
    his wand flew into her
    outstretched hand. She then
    strode very quickly over to Harry,
    grabbing him by the collar of his
    robes, and slammed him against the
    wall. She pinned him there, pulling out
    her wand, and pointed it at Harry's
    throat.

    "Give me a reason not to. I dare you,"
    said Alex murderously, her eyes
    shockingly turning scarlet, but tears
    continued to fall heavily onto her face.

    Suddenly, the door flew open, and the
    last person Harry would have wanted
    to see, Professor Snape, stood in the
    doorway.

    "Ms.Holly, lower your wand," said
    Snape. Alex hesitated, but then put her
    wand away in her robes pocket, and
    dropped Harry's wand. "Ms.Holly,
    kindly help me carry Mr.Malfoy to
    the Hospital Wing."

    "Y-yes S-s-sir," stammered Alex.

    "On second thought, I shall carry
    Mr.Malfoy. You look like you need
    to be treated for hysteria," said
    Snape. For one look at Malfoy, caused
    Alex to shake uncontrollably with
    fresh tears.

    Snape walked over and picked up Malfoy,
    with a little difficulty. "Potter, wait
    here until I return," said Snape. Alex
    followed closely beside Snape, her
    shaking becoming worse with each sob.

    OKay, now, if you can't think of what happened on the Valentine's Day Ball, after this, then you've got to be mental.

    Also, in case you're thinking that I'm wasting time writing teasers, I'm not. These are parts of the story that I want to add, but I'm afraid I'll forget my ideas, so I write them down, and share them with you
     
    wow!you're really good! that's an awsome job you did on this! can't wait for the rest of it! :P
     
    THanks A lot! I'm glad someone finally posted. I prefered not to double post. Let's see new stuff:

    A teaser, with no *spoiler spoiler* things!;

    For a moment, he could not find
    Malfoy or Alex on the map, and
    assumed that, once again, they
    were in the Room of Requirement.
    But then he spotted Malfoy and
    Alex's, tiny, labeled dots, in an
    unused boys bathroom, accompanied,
    not by Crabbe or Goyle, but by
    Moaning Myrtle.

    Harry only stopped staring at the
    unlikely trio, when he walked right
    into a suit of armor. The loud crash
    brought him out of his reverie;
    hurrying away from the scene, lest
    Filch turn up. He dashed down the
    marble stairway, and along the
    passageway below. Outside the
    bathroom he pressed his ear to the
    door. He could not hear anything. He
    then very quietly, pushed the door open.

    Draco Malfoy was standing with his
    back to the door, his hands clutching
    either side of the sink, his white-blonde
    head bowed. Alex stood directly beside
    him, her arms wrapped around him as though
    giving him a hug, her head resting on his
    shoulder, her hair flowing around her like a
    parted curtain. From what Harry could tell,
    there was a look of deep concern on her
    face.

    "Don't," crooned Moaning Myrtle, from
    one of the cubicles. "Don't... tell me...
    I can help you..."

    "No one can help me," said Malfoy. His
    whole body was shaking, causing Alex to
    vibrate somewhat, though she did not
    move a muscle. "I can't do it... I can't...
    It won't work... and unless I do it soon...
    he says he'll kill me... ."

    Harry could see the tears welling up in
    Alex's eyes, and she fought to keep them
    from falling. And then, with a shock so
    huge it seemed to root him to the spot,
    Harry realized that Malfoy was crying -
    actually crying - tears streaming down
    his pale face into the grimy basin. Malfoy
    gasped and gulped, then, with a great
    shudder, looked up into the cracked mirror
    and saw Harry staring at him.

    Malfoy moved toward Harry, his wand
    raised, easily breaking free of Alex's arms,
    not paying attention as she slid to the floor,
    as though her only support had been Malfoy.

    Harry shouted the first words that came to
    mind, "SECTRUMSEMPRA!"

    Malfoy staggered backwards, and fell onto
    the floor, as a gash appeared from his
    chest to his stomach, as though an invisible
    sword had slashed him.

    Alex screamed, and began to cry
    uncontrollably, making her seem almost human.
    She then crawled the very short distance
    between herself and Malfoy, taking out her
    wand. She moved her wand over the gash,
    Malfoy laying unconscious in a pool of
    his own blood, muttering words Harry
    could not hear. The bleeding slowed
    down a good measure, although it was
    still somewhat severe.

    She then took off the traveling cloak she
    was wearing, that had blended in so well
    with her robes that Harry did not know it
    was there, and wrapped it around the gash,
    her hands trembling so badly that Malfoy
    shook too. She then took a shuddering breath,
    and fainted, her head landing on Malfoy's
    shoulder.

    Alex became conscious about a half a
    minute later, in time to hear Moaning
    Myrtle finally shouting, "MURDER!
    MURDER IN THE DESERTED BOY'S
    BATHROOM! MURDER!"

    Alex took one look at Malfoy, and
    remembered what had happened.

    "Accio Harry's wand!" said Alex,
    and before he could do anything,
    his wand flew into her
    outstretched hand. She then
    strode very quickly over to Harry,
    grabbing him by the collar of his
    robes, and slammed him against the
    wall. She pinned him there, pulling out
    her wand, and pointed it at Harry's
    throat.

    "Give me a reason not to. I dare you,"
    said Alex murderously, her eyes
    shockingly turning scarlet, but tears
    continued to fall heavily onto her face.

    Suddenly, the door flew open, and the
    last person Harry would have wanted
    to see, Professor Snape, stood in the
    doorway.

    "Ms.Holly, lower your wand," said
    Snape. Alex hesitated, but then put her
    wand away in her robes pocket, and
    dropped Harry's wand. "Ms.Holly,
    kindly help me carry Mr.Malfoy to
    the Hospital Wing."

    "Y-yes S-s-sir," stammered Alex.

    "On second thought, I shall carry
    Mr.Malfoy. You look like you need
    to be treated for hysteria," said
    Snape. For one look at Malfoy, caused
    Alex to shake uncontrollably with
    fresh tears.

    Snape walked over and picked up Malfoy,
    with a little difficulty. "Potter, wait
    here until I return," said Snape. Alex
    followed closely beside Snape, her
    shaking becoming worse with each sob.

    OKay, now, if you can't think of what happened on the Valentine's Day Ball, after this, then you've got to be mental.

    Also, in case you're thinking that I'm wasting time writing teasers, I'm not. These are parts of the story that I want to add, but I'm afraid I'll forget my ideas, so I write them down, and share them with you
     
    Wow, it's really good. Like everyone said you have a talent for writing. Anyway I'll keep my eyes on this topic until the first chapter comes.
     
    You must log in or register to reply here.
    Back
    Top