To GFA's point about why people write and review: All I can say is neither the reviewer nor the author is more important in a writing relationship. Just because you come on someone else's thread to put down your thoughts doesn't mean you have authority over what they're writing. Rather, you're an equal. A polite writer will pay attention to what you're saying and think about it for awhile, but they don't have to accept everything you say (so long as they take care to thank you but explain in a tactful and clear way why they're doing what they're doing -- you know, so long as it's not about something that's pretty difficult to argue against, like grammar issues). Likewise, a polite reviewer won't force their views on the writer. At most, they can explain their thought processes in as immense detail as possible, but an individual reviewer isn't necessarily always right.
A writer, after all, isn't trying to "sell" his story (if we consider a sale to mean "people read and respond to it") by unquestioningly obeying the reviewer because there's a lot of other factors that could go into whether or not a story is successful. For example, there's a lot more people responding to this thread than any other one in this forum, so obviously (and ironically)... it's selling. But nice job at supporting irony. That's seriously the classiest way I've seen it happen. No, really.
Now, on to the fic itself.
First, I'm just going to say I'm going to ignore the formatting. Let's just say remember to double-space between each paragraph (a la what I'm doing here), even dialogue. This makes it easier to read what's going on. Not to mention there's other grammatical quirks and nitpicks I could say, but I'll set those aside for now because that's not what I want to focus on in this fic. (However, yeah, you'll want to go back and clean misspellings and punctuation errors up if you want us to take your work seriously. The more errors you have, the less we're able to see your point in as much of an adult light as you probably want us to, if that makes sense.)
Anyway, I've been keeping an eye on this fic. At first, I couldn't quite tell whether or not this was actually a troll because, well, a lot of trollfics I've seen start off with a character get seriously OOC and toking it up. And that's exactly what we have at the beginning. This really doesn't look like Professor Oak, and you really don't bother trying to make it be Professor Oak. The character's just not the amiable grandfather we all know and love. Instead, he complains that nobody understands him (like you would see a stereotypical teenager do) and sucks on a joint. Then, it's even harder to take the narration seriously when you replace actual action descriptions with things like "*stab*" and self-censor. (The latter wouldn't be so jarring, except later on, you do things like "F**********CK!!!!!" Might as well just let the censor take care of it or just say, "He cursed loudly.")
Now, why is this all bad? It's because of your message. Now, I got that you were trying to get at something here before you explained it (although because of the obsession with drugs, I just assumed it was a drug PSA in fic form -- a problem we'll talk about in a moment), but the problem is it was so difficult to take your fic seriously because characters were acting OOC and there was such a heavy reliance on the drug metaphor that I just couldn't take the hidden meaning seriously. When you deal with such an adult subject like the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, you really do want to make sure you're not doing anything to make your fic a narmfest.
In other words, you just have to refine your delivery if you want us to think about your point and discuss it with the degree of intelligent thought it deserves. The first step is to figure out a way to create an analogy that doesn't rape characterization. Is the best representation of your view of Palestine Professor Oak and not, say, Cyrus (zealot who tried to destroy the world for the sake of creating a better one)? Is the best representation of your view of Israel Ash? Can you talk about the characters' relationships with each other without having one act in ways that don't match what we're used to seeing? (Like I said, Oak doesn't really moan about himself, let alone abuse drugs. He's an intelligent and pretty clean-cut character, so he probably won't be toking it up. Meanwhile, Ash isn't really power-hungry in canon, and he cares about the professor as a friend and grandfather figure. To take them out of character -- or OOC -- is shaky business because people are used to these basics being true. An exaggeration of the direct opposite just seems cartoonish and silly.)
Beyond that, do you have to rely on drugs to represent religion? There's definitely other ways of portraying that part of things other than with drugs. It's perfectly possible, for example, to substitute one set of beliefs with another without dumbing down your fic too much. Someone's obsession with Pokémon, for example, could be a match if you work with it enough and be careful to draw parallels that don't change what the character believes in canonically. (For example, in
Special, the Elite Four attempted to decimate humanity in order to give Pokémon a world to live in. Sounds like something that could be adjusted slightly to fit your needs, right? I mean, their basic reason for doing it could be said to be good, but their methods -- attempting to kill off humanity, that is -- were horrendous.) The point is, find a jumping-off point in canon and work from there. Don't resort to something that people can't take seriously to begin with (which is a problem drugs tend to have in fics thanks to the abundance of anti-drug PSAs we've all been subject to as kids). It'll be much easier on you if you went that route.
Next step after that is deliver it in a way that isn't too subtle. The other key problem with your work is that there wasn't a connection between your metaphor and what you were trying to say.
No reader would have drawn the conclusion that this was about Israel and Palestine (although this was, in part, because of how over-the-top you were handling the drug issue).
Actually, let's bring back something I said a moment ago to talk about this. Remember how I said I initially thought (at least, after deciding that this might not be just a trollfic) that it was an anti-drug PSA? I have my reasons. Most of the time, you were focusing on Oak's spiral downwards. He starts off with a drug that isn't actually that hard (marijuana) and goes right into amphetamine. Because of his drug abuse, one could just see his interactions with Arceus as hallucinations, and anyway, what Arceus has said doesn't seem to match any particular religion. (Sure, it can vaguely be considered Islamic, but it could also be said that Arceus could be like the Christian/Jewish God because, well, all three of those belief systems have the "thou shalt not kill" rule. Not to mention the Palestinians do what they do in the name of God, so they probably wouldn't reject God like Oak does just before snorting.) Then, you go into the entire retelling of the scene with Oak having sex with Delia's dead body in a church, and... yeah. Let's just say that this told me more that I shouldn't do drugs than it did that I should pay attention to world media.
Now, don't get me wrong. It's an interesting subject. It's just sort of lost in a message you really didn't intend on having. I wasn't able to draw a line between Oak and the Palestinians because there just weren't enough clues that made me think you were trying to portray something political and not something a bit more obvious. On that note, I also couldn't draw a line between Ash and Israel at all. As far as I could tell, he was just a jerk who might've been mourning Pikachu. (Also, I don't know. I feel like comparing the Holocaust to "PokéCancer" is a bit... too light. Even the word makes it difficult to take the comparison seriously.)
Putting it a simpler way, there's a difference between being subtle and having something that's disconnected. When you create a metaphor, you want it to be similar to your subject so that your readers can eventually get it just by putting together the clues that you've left. You don't want to do what you just did and explain your entire point. Now, you could be building your metaphor for later, but the problem is, with a subject this heavy, you've really got to start dropping hints from the beginning to make sure the reader knows they're looking at something serious. As in, you've got to downplay anything else that might lead a reader off the right path and figure out what clues would lead your audience to draw the conclusions you want them to get to. Once you figure out what clues you'll need, you'll have to figure out how to plant them to make them not entirely noticeable but still pretty clear.
For example, let's go with the drug analogy. How do you write it so that the reader doesn't think it's an anti-drug PSA? Start by figuring out what drugs you need. There's
hundreds of different drugs, each with their own effects, and in combination with each other, they can make a character act in thousands of different ways. What you need to do, then, is to find a drug or drug combination that makes your character experience religious ecstasy. As in, something that makes them think they're having an intensely religious experience. Maybe even conversing with God or reforming their views of reality. Instead of having them lapse into an unconscious, uncontrollable state, think about how to do it so they're conscious of what actions they're taking. (After all, the Palestinians know what they're doing and think they're right, so your character should, too. That and you shift the message from just being anti-drug to being about something deeper. The character would be able to have control over themselves and form opinions around their visions, so your message that what they're doing is ethically complicated ends up being emphasized. After all, how can you say a character is incorrect if they're acting on visions they honestly believe are religious in nature, even if they were chemical in origin?)
Of course, this is all just a suggestion and only one way of doing things. I'd really encourage you to find other ways to avoid the drug analogy altogether (because you might run into people who will still find it hard to take your fic seriously thanks to the anti-drug sentiment), but I'm just saying you could still play around with it if you wanted to.
Once you get all of that out of the way, then you'll really want to make an effort to clean up your fic in terms of grammar and whatnot thanks to the first bit I said about how more errors make it increasingly difficult for readers to take things seriously.
Very long story short, it's an interesting concept to explore political metaphor using a Pokémon fic, but you'll want to work on your delivery to make sure the right message gets across.
