[Pokémon] Under the Mistletoe Pokeshipping Story

Based off of the pokemon song "Under the Mistletoe". Enjoy and give feedback plz.

Iif you haven't heard the song, please do so. Otherwise half the stuff in this will make no sense to you. There IS a reason behind my madness.

Snow fell heavily outside, beautiful ice crystals swirling in the frosty night air. Inside it was warm and tosty, the room buzzing with conversation and cheer.
Ash raised an eyebrow, looking outside the window and then back to the crowd inside. His heart hammered anxiously in his chest and was accompanied by a warm feeling that made him strangely happy.

But what was causing those feelings? Could it be Christmas? The excitement of getting presents and the joy and fun of the party? Maybe it was the delightful snow and the impatience for day to break so he could play in it.

No. Ash answered himself, know that those weren't the reasons for his unexplainable excitement. Something suddenly caught his eye and his heart skipped a beat. This must be the reason! He turned to see the object of his emotions.

His eyes widened and he felt his face turn red. This is what's making me so happy?! The noise from the party was now distorted and faded, all Ash could see was the mistletoe and all he could hear was his own heartbeat.

Slowly, step by step, he walked towards the mistletoe, drawn to it like a venomoth to a flame.


Misty's sea green eyes scanned the party, picking out familiar faces in the crowd. One of the Nurse Joys, Brock-unaware that Joy was behind him, Professor Oak, Tracey, many other faces-but no Ash. Wondering where the reckless pokemon trainer could be, she searched for him.

During her search the mistletoe caught her eye. She stared at it, her heart thudding with a yearning ache and color appearing on her cheeks. Ash... The secret hidden in her heart screamed to get out, splashing her with a powerful wave of emotion.

Maybe this Christmas, Misty thought hopefully, my true love with show under the mistletoe.


Ash had made it to the mistletoe and stood under it, not knowing what to do now or why he was there. Who exactly am I waiting for? He wondered and looked around. The noises of the party had returned and so he was more aware of his surroundings.

"Wow. This party sure is crowded." He said aloud and noticed the food on the tables. "Hey wait a minute! There's Christmas cookies over there! Let's go get some pikachu!" Ash said excitedly, his eyes becoming bubbly.

"Pika!" Pikachu agreed with equal enthusiasm as Ash left his post and started towards the food. After he had taken only a few steps away from the mistletoe, Misty appeared suddenly.

"Hi Ash!" Misty greeted.

Ash almost jumped in surprise and he became anxious. "Oh... Hi Misty," he said nervously. He was very concious of the mistletoe a few steps behind him and started to sweat. Of course it was Misty I was waiting for... But I can't do this.

"Great party!" she continued and took a step forward, Ash in turn took a step back.

Ash froze as he realized what Misty was trying to do. She was trying to push him back under the mistletoe. "Yeah, we were just going to get something to eat." He said dismissively, looking past her at the food.

"Did you see Nurse Joy?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Y-Yeah, maybe you should go tell Brock." He joked, putting his hand on the back of his neck. Please? He begged silently.

"Maybe not," Misty said with a raised eyebrow.

"Anyways, may we please pass you? We're pretty hungry." He finally asked.

"Oh... Sure." Misty sounded disapointed. She tried to step aside but Ash was already going towards that direction. He tried to then step to the other side of her but she moved to try and get out of his way. It was just an awkward process that lasted a little bit before Ash finally broke past Misty and went to the tables. Whew, that was close. Ash sighed with relief as he got his food. I almost got caught under the mistletoe.

Misty had spotted Ash walking under the mistletoe she was staring at. Her heart skipped a beat and surged with hope as he just stood under it. It was as if she was waiting for her. She walked towards him, Butterfrees fluttering in her stomach.

She reached him when he was a couple steps away from the mistletoe, walking somewhere. When she reached him the fear was evident on his face. She just didn't know if the fear came from being shy or that he didn't want to be kissed.

This may be my only chance and he's so close! Misty thought and sneakilly started to push him back towards the mistletoe. Frustration hit her when he caught on to her plan and refused to budge.

She became hurt by how desperately he wanted to get away from her so when he asked to get past her, she couldn't hide her tone of hurt and disapointment.
After he got past her, she stared after him sadly. Maybe he'll find out, you just never know... Misty sighed and leaned against the wall. Why am I acting like such an idiot? I shouldn't care if I get kissed by Ash... Why do I even want to get kissed by him?! We're close friends but not that close! The thought of getting kissed by him... UGH GROSS! How could I even think that!? I'm just not thinking straight...

"These cookies are delicious!" Ash said through his cookie filled mouth, shoving another handful in.

"Pika pi!" Pikachu agreed as he stuffed his face in turn.

Ash swallowed his last mouthful of cookies. "Let's go tell Brock about these cookies!" Pikachu jumped on Ash's shoulder and the two went to look for their friend.

Brock was standing among the crowd with his head down as he moped.

"Hey Brock, what's wrong?" Ash asked as he reached him.

"Pika?" Pikachu asked curiously.

"Nurse Joy rejected me." Brock said sadly.

"Hmm? I thought you would be used to that by now. Come on! You should go get some Christmas cookies, they should cheer you up!"

Brock was unsure for a second but then his head suddenly popped up and he grinned excitedly. "Maybe I can share a cookie with Joy!" He danced off.

Ash blinked and then shrugged, looking for more people to tell about the cookies. Everyone seemed to have cookies on their plates. Ash frowned in disapointment. He wanted to spread cookie joy. Then he saw Misty without a plate and smiled. Maybe he could spread cookie joy after all. He walked towards her, forgetting what had happened earlier.

When Misty saw him walking towards her, her face brightened.

"Hi Ash. Did you get something to eat?" Misty asked when Ash reached her. "Uh, yeah-" Ash started, about to tell her about the cookies but pausing when her expression changed.

She stared at him with half closed eyes, a soft smile on her face. "Um. Ash?" She asked sweetly. "Did you realize we're standing under the mistletoe?"

"Huh?" Ash asked dumbly, looking up to see the plant of doom in between them. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He screamed with wide eyes and a scarlet face.

"Ash! Where are you going?" Misty yelled angrily at Ash as he bolted away.

"I'm going to get some Christmas cookies!" Ash called without stopping.

"You just got some cookies!" Misty snapped.

"I-I know, come on Pikachu!"

"What's his problem Pikachu?" Misty growled, glowering at Ash.

"Pika." Pikachu twitched his ears.

"Come on Pikachu!" Ash yelled.

"Uh, Ash! Watch out for-" Misty trid to warn him but was too late.

Ash wasn't looking where he was going and ran right into a table, stumbling and falling face first into the cake wile also knocking over some of the other food.

"Never mind..." She said.

The heart doesn't lie. She denied it to herself yet still, when he is under the mistletoe, she can't resist. :p Didn't know how else to change that part since it happened in the song. ^^; This is my interpretation of the song. It sounds like it if you listen to their tones of voices in the song. Ash stuttering, Ash and Misty singing together and he is getting the strange feeling of happiness from the mistletoe and is just standing under it for whatever reason. "Maybe I'll stand here and no one will know I'm under the mistletoe." Then of course Misty with all of her hopefulness of showing her feelings in the song and how sweet she went and then mad when Ash ran.

I highly believe in pokeshipping because it has had the most major hints in the anime, the mangas even have Ash and Misty/Red and Misty hints. There are like a billion songs in Misty's honor for liking/loving Ash. Not only Under the Mistletoe but also Misty's song, Toi et moi (debatable), part of Christmas Bash, and I've got a secret. Those are the only ones I can think of so far... None of the other shippings have songs for them. Sorry for my rant or whatever you'd call that. I think I'll make a pokeshipping vid just to exploit these points. Anyways, I'm gonna stop talking now... Thanks for reading! ^^

Hola

This was indeed a very cute story and I'm glad I took the time to review it. I don't have any active shippings at the moment, but as a kid, I was partial towards that one event in Pokémon the Movie 2000, which kind of got me into Pokeshipping, at least by a bit. That is to say, I don't actively support any ship, but this is one of my favourites. Anyway, before I begin the review, I'll just point out one major annoyance which people who are new to the forum tend to get tripped up over easily. That is to say, you should always leave a space in between dialogue. I think you probably did that in word or something, but it didn't carry over when copypasting? Well, your best bet is to press enter twice, which is what most writers use, I assume.

That said, on to the review proper. You've basically got description down, so I won't focus on that. I will, instead, focus on the more subtle aspects of storytelling. I also won't question the actions of the characters in the fic because they're seemingly based off of the song. Personally, however, I do think that Misty wouldn't so explicit with her feelings, even to herself.

Maybe he just doesn't know how I truly feel about him.

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For example, this quote. Canonically, Misty's a pretty headstrong character, and she usually denies all allegations of any kind of relationship with Ash, even to herself, or so I like to assume. So it's pretty weird when you make her come out like this without any inner-conflict, and not even some passive denial on her part. So yes, that was the only part of the fic which was relevant and didn't really fit in with the song itself. Notice that Misty doesn't actually explicitly note that she loves Ash, even in the song. She's only singing to herself about the possibility of finding her lover, though strongly hinting that it might be Ash. Most adolescent girls in fiction are like this so that's kind of safe, and IIRC, Misty has been known to swoon over some people from time to time. Also, the song wasn't canon anyway...

In any case, I enjoyed the fic. It was a cute read, to say the least.

Hehehe, I feel like I'm enjoying Christmas all over again. :3

I really enjoy this fic a lot. I managed to listen to the song recently and it's a cute one. What I love here is you're able to have the lines to the song fit in both Ash and Misty's thoughts and dialogue and not just have this be a songfic with the lines thrown in, so kudos to that! And just like the song, Ash being all panicky when he's under the mistletoe is very funny and I laughed out loud. That would be so him acting like that.

I'm going to have to agree with Mizan though that I don't think Misty would be outright with her feelings like that. There would be a bit more denial and conflict over her feelings for Ash. I'm not saying your interpretation of the song is wrong, as it might be her talking about Ash, but for this kind of story you have to go a bit deeper with the emotion and develop it.

The only other problem I see is the way you punctuated dialogue. I see instances where you have it like this:

"Did you see Nurse Joy?" She asked, changing the subject.

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If you're going to have the sentences with dialogue be with pronouns instead of proper names (using "she asked" instead of "Misty asked"), then the first letter of the pronoun has to be lower case, like this: "Did you see Nurse Joy?" she asked, changing the subject." See how the "s" in "she" is lower cased?

"Maybe not." Misty said with a raised eyebrow.

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Another instance is when you have the dialogue not ending with a question mark/exclamation and the sentence is not finished yet (adding "Misty said" after the dialogue), the end of the dialogue has to be with a comma, not period, like this: "Maybe not," Misty said with a raised eyebrow. Only time you'll have the dialogue end in a period is if the sentence ends with the dialogue ends: "Maybe not."

The last problem I see is I noticed a few typos, mostly with "disapointment" when instead it's "disappointment". If you look at your work a couple times you should be able to catch the spelling mistakes easily.

Overall there are some problems with punctuation in the dialogue and Misty's feelings could be expanded a bit more, but this is a very cute fic and I like it very much. Nice work!

Thanks for the comments and critiques guess. Critiquing only helps me get better. :) I'm writing a story so I'm used to knowing exactly how each and every one of my character will react to something, because I created them. Fanfiction however, is a challenge. This is one of my first pokemon fics so even after watching the show for a long time, it's still hard to know exactly how they'd react to everything. And it's even harder since the show is mainly in Ash's point of view and you don't really get much insight on how Misty really feels. She may have a hard shell that denies everything and a soft inside beneath that. You never know. :D But I'll try to edit the fic due to your critiques.