[Pokémon] The Raider Chronicles.

Some notes before the 1st chapter.
One of the main protagonists is named Lance. Please do not confuse him for Lance of the Elite Four from the games and anime.
Pokémon characters from the games and anime will appear in this.
This fanfic is going to be more anime styled as well.
Also, please tell me how I can improve if you do leave a reply. I would appreciate it. Also, this fanfic is on the Ever Grande City website as well.

…..

Chapter 1: Brothers

Throughout history, and in the present day, people and Pokémon have been interacting with each other. Pokémon trainers can fight each other in battles or they can be a family pet. People and Pokémon live in this world together, often side by side. And there are many Pokémon Trainers out there including the Raider brothers. The older brother, 18 year old Lance Raider, is a seasoned veteran Pokémon trainer. He trains hard very often and has won many competitions but even still, he is still learning and thinking of new battle strategies. The younger brother, 11 year old Travis Raider, is a novice trainer. He still has much to learn about the world of Pokémon. However, he is determined to follow the footsteps of his brother. Both brothers live with their parents in a luxurious part in the metropolis known as San Morano. The city attracts many visitors each year, from trainers wanting to battle in the impressive Blue Crown Stadium to people just wanting to have a relaxing vacation at the beach. For Lance, he not only encourages trainers to travel, he hopes seeing strong trainers from around the world will help his younger brother to get better in hopes of fighting these trainers one day. Not to mention, he gets to fight some of the best trainers in the world. With their mom being a Pokémon Professor and their dad being head of the Raider Financial Group, one of the many groups who sponsor trainers, Pokémon have been a part of the brothers' life for a long time.

……

"Poliwrath, use Ice Punch!", a trainer shouts towards his Pokémon. Standing across from this trainer and his Poliwrath is another trainer with a Hawlucha. Poliwrath forms a fist with its right hand and charges towards Hawlucha
.
"Double Team!", the opposing trainer yells. Copies of Hawlucha appear and surround Poliwrath. Poliwrath looks around, back and forth, side to side, confused as to where Hawlucha went. "Hawlucha, Aerial Ace! A white orb of energy surrounds Hawlucha and it charges in as the copies fade away. Poliwrath is hit and it stumbles back a little bit, reeling from the damage. "Not bad," Hawlucha's trainer says. "But, I'm gonna win this." Also in the stadium is a large crowd of spectators. They cheer on as the battle rages.

…..

Watching the battle from home is none other than the Raider brothers. The younger brother, Travis, is literally at the edge of the leather sofa watching this battle. Lance, on the other hand, has his arms crossed and is watching this battle. Also present in the room is Lance's Salamence.

"Hey, bro," Travis says as he turns to look at his brother. "Why didn't you enter? You could have kicked all their butts!"

Lance smiles at the comment. "Well, yeah but the problem is….it's an exclusive for Fighting-type Pokémon"

"But you have Machamp! He'd wreck everybody! That's it! I'm getting me a Machamp and entering that tournament!"

"Sorry little bro, even if you could, these guys are way out of your league. I lost in the semi-finals in the last one."

Travis's smile turns into a pouting face. "Tch, I STILL am not ready for the state or national league either, right?"

"What do you think?" Lance teasingly replies. He then points to the T.V. "Let's continue watching this"

Suddenly, a phone on a wooden table next to the sofa begins to ring

"Or not." Lance replies. He reaches for the phone and picks it up. While answering the phone, he walks into another room. "Talk to me," Lance replies as he closes the door to the other room. Travis and Salamence looks on in curiosity.

"Who do you think that was, Salamence?" Salamence emits a somewhat loud roar. Travis smiles. "I know that reaction. You hope you get to fight, don't you?" Salamence lets out a gentler roar this time meaning yes.

Lance appears from the other room, closing the door behind him. "So? What's going on?" Travis asks his older brother to which Lance smirks. "That was Melanie. It seems we got a challenge at the park. You coming?"

Travis immediately presses the power button on the remote control to turn off the T.V. He then jumps up off the sofa. Excited, he yells, "Of course, I'm coming!"

........

Melanie sits on a bench in the nearby park near the parking lot. Her long, black hair is lifted upwards by a slight breeze. A flock of Starly fly above in the hair while behind her, two trainers, one with an Electabuzz and other with a Hitmonchan, are battling. Suddenly, she spots an blue and white exotic sports car pull up into the parking lot. "Well, he's here. And looks like he brought his little brother along." Melanie goes to greet them.

…….

Lance, Travis, and Melanie are walking towards the center of the park.

"So, this punk thinks he all that." Melanie replies angrily. "I think he doesn't even care about his Pokémon. All he cares about is winning."

"Wow, this guy sounds like real bully." Travis replied.

"I'll take care of him." Lance replies. "But, why didn't you…."

"Because I didn't bring any Pokémon with me." Melanie interrupts. "My bad."

"No need to apologize. I like to trash the arrogant type." Lance replies.

"We are here." Melanie says. Her eyes fixated on the area.

"Oh, I see who you called now, Melanie" A brown-haired teenage boy calls out. "Lance Raider, the name's William Malanii. The strongest fighter in this park!"

"(Malani,….sounds familiar…..)", Lance thinks to himself.

"Once I defeat you, It'll prove to you that I am the best trainer around here!" William yells.
Lance smirks at this comment. "Watch what you say. Because you don't stand a chance against me. "
William walks to the opposite end of the area and turns around. He then pulls out a Poke Ball and presses the button to make it larger. "Allow me to introduce my undefeated champion. Go!" William presses the button on the Poke Ball to let the Poke Ball out. "ELLLLECCTIVIRE!" The Pokémon yells.

"Arrogance will not help you." Lance says as he takes a Poke Ball from his belt. He presses the button to make the Poke Ball larger. "Salamence, you're up." Lance presses the button again to let Salamence out. Salamence stares at the ground first with his eyes closed, then opens his eyes with a fierce look and looks up towards the sky and lets out a large and loud roar. At this moment, a crowd begins to form. Melanie notices this "Hmmm….we seemed to have attracted attention. Heh."

"Come on brother, you can beat this guy!" Travis yells.

"William, you can have the first attack." Says Lance.

"Electivire, Thunder!" William yells. Electivire fires a large bolt of lightning at Salamence.
"Flamethrower." Lance says calmly.

Salamence fires a powerful stream of fire from its mouth. The lightning bolt and the stream of fire collide and cancel each other out.

"Now use Dragon Pulse!" says Lance.

A bluish green ball forms in Salamence's mouth and Salamence fires it at Electivire. Electivire is hit directly but is still standing. "(Hmmm…this one might be tough.)," Lance thinks to himself.
"Not bad." William remarks. "Electivire, use Thunderpunch.

Electivire forms a fist with its right hand and the fist glows yellow with sparks surrounding it. Electivire charges at Salamence. However, Lance does not order a dodge. He just stands there.
"Ha. Given up already?" William tauntingly remarks as Electivire hits Salamence with the Thunderpunch. Salamence closes his eyes, reeling from the damage, but opens his eyes and lets out another large roar.


"NOW SALAMENCE!!!" Lance yells. Another ball of energy forms in Salamence's mouth. As Electivire prepares for another attack, it gets hit by another Dragon Pulse from Salamence. "Now use Flamethrower again!" Salamence fires a stream of fire from his mouth at Electivire who is still reeling from the Dragon Pulse. Electivire takes a second direct hit.

"Salamence can handle as many Thunderpunches as you give him. He won't be fazed or defeated so easily." Lance remarks. He then looks at William with a fierce look in eyes. "You're arrogant. I heard you don't even care for your Pokémon."

"Oh, she told you. Yeah, that Pokémon I used was so stupid and weak; I released it after the battle." William remarks while laughing.

Lance forms a fist with both hands. "SALAMENCE!!! HYPER BEAM!!!!" He yells out loud.
"Electivire, use your Hyper Beam as well!"

A orange ball of energy form in both Pokémon's mouths. Then, both Pokémon fire orange beams of energy at each other. Both attacks collide but Salamence's Hyper Beam proves much more powerful and Electivire is hit. Electivire falls to the ground defeated.

William looks angry as he recalls Electivre.. "Can any of these stupid Pokémon beat that Salamence since Electivire failed?!

"Someone should tell him he's the stupid one." Melanie jokingly remarks.

"You don't even care about your Pokémon. What kind of trainer are you?" Lance angrily asks. "Unless you want to be embarrassed even more, I suggest you beat it."

William still looks angry as the runs off. "I WON'T FORGE T THIS!!!" He yells as he runs. Meanwhile, the crowd is clapping over Lance and Salamence's victory. Salamence sees a Tamato Berry tree nearby proceeds to use his claw to get a berry on the ground for a snack.

However, among the crowd was two mysterious men. Both are wearing silver uniforms with silver helmets on. "What do you think?" One of the men asks the other.

"....He's perfect for a Shadow Pokémon…." The other man replies. "Come on, let's see if we can catch him to him."

"Which one?"

"The one with the Electivire. Not only is he perfect for a Shadow Pokemon, he's perfect for Cipher."

End of Ch 1.

Note: This fanfic is on Fanfiction.net as well.

Chapter 2: Mewtwo and Darkrai Part 1

An old warehouse outside of the city of San Morano. The wooden door on the front end of the warehouse is closed. The windows have all been boarded up. However, this is not any typical old warehouse. Inside, in the center of the warehouse, lies a large, wooden, rectangular table with at least 20 different chairs at the table. 4 men are standing next to the table. One of the men is wearing a white suit and a blue eye along with black pants and shoes while the other three are wearing silver outfits including silver helmets. One is holding a cage covered in a blanket. A familiar face from last time is inside the warehouse standing behind the other four; William Malani.
"What is this?!" William angrily shouts. "What do you want from me that you guys insisted I came with you here? Huh?!"

The man in the suit turns around and glares at William with an angry expression. "Shut your mouth. You've been a really annoying brat. Do you want to get stronger? If, so shut up and listen!"

"Don't tell me what to do!"

"Is that really a wise thing to do? Back answering a Cipher Admin."

William becomes scared. "Y-You're a Cipher Admin?"

"Yes, my name is Kotaro Togashi. I am the head of Shadow Pokemon development at Cipher and I was also the Japanese champion before I was wrongfully stripped of my title. And now, you will see what you were called for." Kotaro snaps his fingers.

One of the other men, a Cipher Peon, places the cage on the table and takes the blanket off. Inside of the cage is a Manectric. The Manectric growls at William and attempts to zap itself out of the cage with a Thunderbolt. The top part of the cage flies off due to the Thunderbolt and the Manectric gets itself out.

"W-what is this?" William asks with confusion and fear.

In response, Kotaro grins. "It's a Shadow Pokémon. For someone like you, it's perfect. See, this cage can handle Pokémon attacks. But it can't handle an attack from a Shadow Pokémon. We use these cages for testing out their power as well."

"(Maybe I can get back at that Lance guy if I get a Shadow Dragon, Rock, or Ice type…)", William thinks to himself. Then, he says; "Kotaro, winning is all that matters to me. Show me more."
"Of course, right this way." Kotaro and William walk towards another area of the warehouse…

…

Lance, his younger brother Travis, and Lance's friend Melanie is all at the former two's house. Also present is Lance's Salamence, Travis's Luxio, and Melanie's Garchomp. Melanie has stern look on her face while looking at Lance and Travis. "That guy you defeated…..Are we sure all those were not by a Shadow Pokémon?

"Positive. Especially since the park is where that mystery Pokémon likes to hang out at." Lance replies.

"You mean…"

"Yep."

"Man, all of this is confusing me!" Travis says while scratching his head. Luxio laughs at his trainer. "Hey, don't laugh at me. It wasn't funny!"

"Little bro, I'm sure you've heard by now. "About the mysterious Pokémon in the park?"

"Oh, that guy!" Travis exclaims. "What Pokémon do you two think it is?"

"Nobody knows what it is. Some say it's a Legendary Pokémon. Others say it's just a wild Pokémon that came from the mountains or the nearby forest. Some say there is no mystery Pokémon."

"I've actually seen the mystery Pokémon before. " Melanie replies. Lance and Travis turn to her in shock.

"Well, maybe not the perfect view but I remember seeing a shadow near me a few days ago and then out of nowhere it just vanished."

"Sounds like a Ghost-type." Lance says. "Or maybe…it's a Darkrai."

"Darkrai?" Travis asks. "You mean that Legendary Pokémon?

"Yes."
...
Meanwhile, at the old warehouse, William has obtained a powerful Shadow Pokemon and has left the warehouse. Back in the center of the warehouse, Kotaro Togashi is talking with Cipher Peons.
"He didn't have the exact amount of money but he did give us some. Maybe something even better. " One Cipher Peon says.

"Who would have guessed Darkrai may be in Northlake Park." Another one says.

"Yes, but we must use caution so we don't attract attention." Kotaro says. "Come on. It would make a good present for the boss."

...

Back at Lance's house...

"I'm worried that someone will get their hands on it if it's really Darkrai. Even with increase presence and and investigation by San Morano Police, someone mat try to capture it for something that's not good." Lance says to Melanie and Travis.


"Maybe we should go help." Melanie says. "In fact, Police Commissioner Ross encourages trainers to help deal with trainers like that."

"He also said use extreme caution."

"Yeah but...the last thing anyone needs is Cipher getting another Legendary Pokemon..."

...

Back at the park, a gray-colored Pokemon with a purple tail is looking around the park. The difference with this Pokemon is that it can talk. The Pokemon walks around the park as if it's searching for something. "(I cannot let this Pokemon keep causing problems but...what if that's not the intention)." The Pokemon thinks to itself. "(What if...it's searching for the right person? I would not be surprised. Ever since I escaped from Team Rocket, I've seen many wonderful sights. Now I know...people and Pokemon CAN get along together...there was one kid who taught me that...but he's now...a member of Cipher...Why...)" Just then, the Pokemon sees a shadow in front or him.

"Darkrai, is it? I am Mewtwo. Why are you here? What is your purpose?"

Darkrai appears from the ground glaring at Mewtwo. Mewtwo notices this.

"I am not your enemy, Darkrai. Just tell me what are you doing here?"

Suddenly, a Hyper Beam comes out of nowhere from behind, striking Darkrai who falls to the ground. Mewtwo is shocked. 'What?"

"Heh heh heh, I finally found you Darkrai." A voice calls out. "I'll take that other Pokemon too."

Mewtwo becomes very angry. "It's you...Koji the Phantom. And the reason Darkrai fled to the city was to avoid you."

"Yeah, but it failed." Koji taunts. "Battle me, Darkrai. And you must be Mewtwo. You battle me as well. "Go get him, Tyranitar!" A large Pokemon steps in front of Koji and roars. "Use Dark Pulse!" Tyranitar launches a powerful stream of purple and black circles at Mewtwo. Mewtwo counters with Protect. A green barrier forms in front of Mewtwo protecting him from Dark Pulse. Darkrai retaliates by firing a Ice Beam at Tyranitar which strikes. Mewtwo creates a blue orb of energy in his right hand and fires it at Tyranitar. The move, Focus Blast, causes serious damage to Tyranitar. Darkrai sees this and fires its own Focus Blast at Tyranitar. This also causes serious damage to Tyranitar. Tyranitar falls to the ground defeated.

"What?! Tyranitar was defeated so quickly?!" Koji yells.

"You had your fun. Now it's my turn." A voice calls out. Koji turns around to see Cipher Admin Kotaro Togashi and some Cipher Peons. "And I assure you, this time we will capture both of them."

End of Chapter 2.

Note: Being more anime-related, Pokémon can use/learn more than 4 moves in this story.\

Chapter 3: Mewtwo and Darkrai Part 2.

Kotaro Togashi holds a Poke Ball in each hand as he stares down Mewtwo and the Darkrai. He has a smirk on his face as he presses the button to let both the Pokémon out. The first Pokémon is a muscular, 4-armed Pokémon. "MACHAMP!" The Pokémon yells. Immediately, Mewtwo notices something is wrong. "(This Machamp….its eyes are vicious….and I'm sensing a dark aura coming from it….Same with the other Pokémon…)". Mewtwo shifts his attention to the other Pokémon. This Pokémon is an eel-like Pokémon. "(This Eelektross also looks very vicious….and the same dark aura….)"


"I take it you have figured it out by now." Kotaro remarks with a smirk on his face. "Both these Pokémon are Shadow Pokémon. And you're about to see power. True power. Machamp, use Cross Chop on Darkrai! Eelektross, use Thunderbolt on Mewtwo!"


Two of Machamp's hands glow white as Machamp charges at Darkrai while Eelektross fires a bolt of lightning at Mewtwo. Mewtwo blocks the attack with Protect but Darkrai gets hit with Machamp's Cross Chop.


Mewtwo forms a black sphere of energy in its right hand and then fires it. The attack, Shadow Ball, hits Machamp directly. Mewtwo then unleashes a bolt of lightning at Machamp. This attack, Thunderbolt, also strikes Machamp directly. Meanwhile, Eelektross fires a Thunderbolt at Darkrai who counters with a stream of black and purple circles. Both that attack, Dark Pulse, and the Thunderbolt collide.


"Quick everyone!" Kotaro yells. "Send out a Pokemon!"


The Cipher Peons with Kotaro send out a Golbat, a Golduck, and a Sandslash. All of which have the same vicious look and dark aura.


Mewtwo sees this. "I think it's time to show you my true power." Mewtwo turns to Darkrai. "Find a place to hide while I take care of this." Darkrai nods and vanishes into the ground while a white sphere of energy begins to form and surround Mewtwo. "I don't want to do this but I have no choice. PSYSTRIKE!" The sphere explodes, unleashing a massive amount of energy towards Cipher's Pokémon. All 5 Pokémon are hit and knocked out. Kotaro and the Cipher Peons are stunned. "Grrr….retreat! But Mewtwo, you will be sorry next time!" Kotaro sends out a Pidgeot and gets on it. He flies away on Pidgeot. The peons, along with Koji, retreat as well.


"They'll be back. We must be ready next time." Mewtwo says to the shadow on the ground which is Darkrai. Darkrai appears from the ground and nods signaling it understood Mewtwo. Darkrai then leaves the area where the battle took place.


...


Later, the next day, at Lance's house, Lance is watching the news. His Salamence and Gardevoir are present as well.


"The investigation into the mystery Pokémon continues." The news lady on T.V. says. "Researchers are currently in the are searching for any clues. "


Lance turns off the T.V.


"Interesting..." Lance mumbles to himself.


Both Salamence and Gardevoir look at their trainer wondering if there's something wrong. Lance notices this. "Relax, it's nothing. I was just thinking about this whole mystery Pokemon thing. The park's been pretty packed lately. I assume it's not just for battling. I think some trainers want to catch that mystery Pokémon as well..."


"You really think so bro?" Travis calls from behind. Travis walks towards his older brother. "You really think trainers want to catch this Pokémon?"


"Well, people are thinking and saying it could be a Darkrai. And it's not just those trainers. People like members of Cipher might want that Pokémon as well. Not just them but Team Rocket might be after the Pokémon too. We all need to be careful."


"I got it, bro." Travis says.


Lance turns to his younger brother. "Promise me you won't do anything reckless."


"I won't."


"Good."


"But who will handle the situation?" Travis asks.


"I would assume Mewtwo." Lance replies.


...


Mewtwo returns to Northlake Park. A slight breeze is in the air and a flock of Starly and Staravia let by a Starpator flies overhead. Mewtwo watches as a young boy plays with his Growlithe and a Pokémon battle between a Hitmonchan and a Primeape is going on. "The interaction of Pokémon and humans are truly a magnificent sight. The bad side of the interaction is the exact opposite."


"That is indeed true." A voice says from behind Mewtwo. Mewtwo turns around to see a black haired man dressed in a black suit, black pants and black shoes.


"Police Commissioner Ross." Mewtwo says. "I assume you didn't call me here for no reason, right?"


"Well, there were reports of you being in that area last night. Can you explain what happened between you and Cipher? One of my officers caught one of the 3 fleeing Cipher members he spotted on his routine patrol. The other 2 got away. "


"Of course I can. But in a place where is there less people.
...
Ross and Mewtwo are in a less occupied area of the park.


"So, you can confirm it was a Darkrai and the infamous Koji was the reason it fleeing to Northlake Park?


"Yes, I can." Mewtwo says. "I can also confirm that Cipher was present as well."

"Understood. Thanks for the help."

"San Morano gave me a home. It's the least I can do."

Darkrai has hidden itself nearby and listening in on the conversation. After Ross leaves, Mewtwo turns towards the direction where Darkrai was hidden.


"That human is a friend. You didn't need to be scared. Not all humans are like Koji."
Darkrai appears from the ground.


"I think the best thing for you is a kind and strong trainer. " Says Mewtwo. "That way, you have some backup. And more friends."


Darkrai nods and disappears.


"But, can anyone control such a powerful Pokémon like a Darkrai? I wonder..."
End of Chapter 3.

Hi Boss Salamence! I've been reading your story and thought I'd share some thoughts on the first chapter.

Boss Salamence said:

Throughout history, and in the present day, people and Pokémon have been interacting with each other. Pokémon trainers can fight each other in battles or they can be a family pet. People and Pokémon live in this world together, often side by side. And there are many Pokémon Trainers out there including the Raider brothers. The older brother, 18 year old Lance Raider, is a seasoned veteran Pokémon trainer. He trains hard very often and has won many competitions but even still, he is still learning and thinking of new battle strategies. The younger brother, 11 year old Travis Raider, is a novice trainer. He still has much to learn about the world of Pokémon. However, he is determined to follow the footsteps of his brother. Both brothers live with their parents in a luxurious part in the metropolis known as San Morano. The city attracts many visitors each year, from trainers wanting to battle in the impressive Blue Crown Stadium to people just wanting to have a relaxing vacation at the beach. For Lance, he not only encourages trainers to travel, he hopes seeing strong trainers from around the world will help his younger brother to get better in hopes of fighting these trainers one day. Not to mention, he gets to fight some of the best trainers in the world. With their mom being a Pokémon Professor and their dad being head of the Raider Financial Group, one of the many groups who sponsor trainers, Pokémon have been a part of the brothers' life for a long time.

Click to expand...

Firstly, this sounds like something you would put as a biography in a roleplay sign-up form. It would be more interesting to weave all this information into the next section of the story instead, when the brothers are watching TV and talking. Maybe you could let the readers know this information through Lance's thoughts or something? It's just usually better to jump into the story and let us see the characters act and show us who they are rather than just infodump their history in the first paragraph.

The battle is nice (between Salamence and Electivire) but what I consistently noticed throughout this chapter was that you write as if we were watching an anime. You type out what we could see with our eyes, but nothing more. In written stories, letting us know some of the characters' thoughts and feelings adds to the story and makes it more believable - since we can't watch their facial expressions or see them shift awkwardly or tremble and things like that, things we would see if this was an anime. Writers need to convey these things through words, not just type out dialogue or actions.

Boss Salamence said:

Melanie sits on a bench in the nearby park near the parking lot. Her long, black hair is lifted upwards by a slight breeze. A flock of Starly fly above in the hair while behind her, two trainers, one with an Electabuzz and other with a Hitmonchan, are battling. Suddenly, she spots an blue and white exotic sports car pull up into the parking lot. "Well, he's here. And looks like he brought his little brother along." Melanie goes to greet them.

Click to expand...

For example, this section above sounds nice with the Starly and the breeze, but if something about her posture or expression had been described too, it would have been a more solid piece. If you don't want to let us know what is going on in a character's head, you can still show how they seem in the eyes of others, rather than just write what they do and say.

So in general, I'd recommend working on letting the readers get to know the characters in more than direct infodumps! The story is interesting though, I'll keep reading to see what Cipher will be doing 8)

Thanks for the feedback. I'll keep that in mind.

Chapter 4: Travis's Fight

The same old, run-down warehouse that Cipher sold William a Shadow Pokémon in. Inside, at the desk with about 20 chairs, a meeting is taking place. The meeting is between Kotaro Togashi and numerous other members of Cipher.

"Our Shadow Pokémon operation is going quite smoothly." Kotaro says. "But, if we can obtain more technology and do more research, we might be able to make even stronger Shadow Pokémon…

"Sir, we have received word that the group you sent to the mountains have captured some strong Pokémon. They are being secretly transported via a semi." One of the Cipher Peons say.

"Excellent." Kotaro says. "We'll have pretty powerful ones to sell shortly. Of course, we'll sell some and keep some for ourselves. That's how this Shadow Pokémon operation works. We will prove to everyone that Cipher is supreme."

...

Meanwhile, Lance is currently in a Pokémon battle against a blonde-haired trainer. Travis and his Grovyle are watching the battle. Lance has his Charizard out while his opponent has a Nidoking out. Lance is down one Pokemon while his opponent is down 2 Pokémon. Both Pokemon have launched several attacks and are currently standing on the ground with them glaring at the other. A slight breeze blows as a silence is broken by Charizard's growling. Grovyle is eagerly watching the battle. His gaze is fixated on the battlefield and both Pokemon. A crowd of people is watching the battle as well.

"Charizard, use Dragon Claw!" Lance yells. Charizard's left hand glows blue and she takes off in flight charging at Nidoking The attack strikes Nidoking head on. Dragonite is sent reeling from the attack but quickly regains his composure.

"Nidoking, use Thunderbolt!" The other trainer yells. Nidoking fires a bolt of lightning at Charizard. Charizard takes a hit from the Thunderbolt but like the opposing Nidoking, she quickly regains her composure despite taking a super effective attack!

"Now Sludge Bomb!"

Nidoking fires a stream of sludge from its mouth towards Charizard.

"Charizard, take flight and use Dragon Rush!"

Charizard evades the attack by flying into the air. Then, Charizard becomes enveloped in a green orb of energy. She charges back down towards Nidoking with amazing speed. Nidoking is unable to counterattack or evade due to the speed of Charizard's attack. Nidoking is hit with the Dragon Rush and it falls to the ground, defeated.

"No!" The trainer yells.

"Charizard." Lance calls. Charizard turns around to look at her trainer.

"Nice job." Lance says with a smile on her face as his black jacket slightly ripples due to the slight breeze. Lance then looks at the trainer he was facing as the trainer recalls his Nidoking. "Hey, good job. You trained your Pokemon well."

"Thanks. Next time I'll win for sure!" The trainer yells with excitement.

"Heh. We'll see about that." Lance replies back as the crowd begins to walk away. Lance and Charizard then walk to where Travis and his Grovyle were standing. Travis is smiling and is very excited.

"That was awesome, bro!" Travis shouts with excitement. "Can I battle someone here too?!"

"Of course you can. Just, don't go crazy or become overconfident. You're still learning and the last thing I want is my little bro ending up fighting someone like Ryan Harrison."

Travis is shocked at this comment. "He's here?! THE Ryan Harrison. The champ?!"

"No, it was just an example. Northlake Park is where many trainers gather. There are pros here as well. Ryan Harrison is a regular visitor but he's out of town right now."

Travis looks disappointed and pouts. "Aw, I wanted to see an epic battle between your Salamence and his Dragonite..."

"Relax. It'll happen one day." Lance says with a chuckle. "We might have to train a bit harder for that." Lance turns to his Charizard. "Right?"

Charizard responds with a roar.

"I'll take that as a yes." Lance says.

Travis turns to Grovyle. "I know that battle inspired you! Come on, we gotta find someone to battle!"

Grovyle nods his head in agreement

"Alright then, let's see who we can find!"

...

Meanwhile, in another part of San Morano., a brown-haired boy wearing a blue sleeveless shirt and blue pants has just defeated a trainer with brown, spiky hair. The trainer with the brown spiky hair looks terrified and backs away from the other brown-haired boy towards a wooden door to an older-looking greyish building. He backs up until he's leaning against the wooden door.

"Hey, chill out Willy! This ain't cool!"

"What's wrong? Don't like my Shadow Mamoswine? You are ex-Cipher after all, Carl." William Malani says while laughing. The Mamoswine next to him looks very ferocious with a fierce, angry look it its facial expression.

"Y-yeah but...anyway, I heard you were badly defeated by a kid with black hair. He wore a black jacket and black shirt underneath plus some black pants."

William stops laughing and a serious look comes over him. "Yeah, his name was Lance. I got this Mamoswine to defeat him and Ryan Harrison. At that park, those were the only two that defeated me. Carl, I'm gonna get them back with this Shadow Mamoswine." William says. "Return, Mamoswine." A red light engulfs Mamosine as William recalls it into the Poke Ball. William then turns around and walks away. After he's out of sight, Carl takes a deep breath. After a moment, a grin comes over his face. "Heh, that little punk think he's all that. This Lance guy seems pretty tough and Ryan Harrison? The current Champion? Hah. He's got no chance of beating either of them in a battle." Carl stops grinning and he gets serious and crosses his arms. "But...Shadow Pokémonhuh...Cipher's back to their old tricks I see. And he'll probably attract the attention of the cops, especially Commissioner Ross, since Willy likes to brag and all. Oh well, I'm ex-Cipher. I'm assistant manager at my uncle's pizzeria now. I don't know this Lance guy or Ryan personally but I hope of them knocks some sense into that punk. Shadow Pokémon...how desperate are you to win, Willy? And where's your sense of honor as a trainer?"

...

William is walking through a alleyway behind several tall buildings. William is currently behind the city's shopping district. This area is a popular area for tourists and locals alike. Pokémon Trainers, Coordinators, even researchers come to this area often as well as people without Pokémon. Buildings here include the famous West San Morano Mall, multiple clothing boutiques, several gift shops, and many more. William continues walking in the alley and soon, he finds himself in the street in the financial district. He stops then looks up at a tall building. He then looks at the sign which reads Raider Financial Group."Raider...Lance Raider...so that's who beat me...the eldest son of the Raider Group's president...I should have known. I heard of the guy but I never thought he's the Lance that defeated me...The next time we fight, it's gonna be different."

...

Back at Northlake Park, Travis has found himself an opponent; a boy of the same age. This trainer's name is David who happens to be a friendly rival of Travis. David is as excited as Travis.

"Hey Travis, let's make this a on-one-one fight!

"Sure thing." Travis replies as he turns to Grovyle. "You're up buddy." Grovyle nods and steps in front of Travis.

"Grovyle huh?" David replies as he presses the button on the Poke Ball to make it larger. "Here's mine Pokemon!" David yells in excitement as he presses the button to let his Pokemon out. The Pokemon that was sent out is colored blue and yellow.

Lance watches all this from the sidelines. "Grovyle vs Manectric, huh? Interesting..."

"(Heh heh. Groyvle is gonna lose thanks to Manectric's secret weapon.)" David thinks to himself. "Manetric, use Thunderbolt!" Manectric fires a bolt of lightning from the top of its head at Grovyle.
Grovyle is hit and is sent reeling.

"Leaf Blade!"

Grovyle manages to pull himself together. The leaves on Grovyle's right arm began to glow green and longer and it charges at Manectric. Manectric is hit by the Leaf Blade and is sent reeling from the damage.

"Alright, another Leaf Blade!"

"Flamethrower!" David yells.

Lance, his Charizard, Travis, and the latter's Grovyle are shocked."
"WHAT?!" Travis yells.

"Huh, didn't see that coming." Lance says with curiosity. A slight roar from Charizard indicates that she agrees with her trainer.

Manectric launches a stream of fire from its mouth at Grovyle. Grovyle is hit before he an move out of the way and the Flamethrower sends him back a considerable distance and causing a decent amount of damage to Grovyle.

"Now, use Thunderbolt again!" David yells.

"Dodge it, and use Brick Break!"

Manectric launches a bolt of lightning at Grovyle but Grovyle jumps out of the way, dodging the Thunderbolt. He then charges in faster than before with both the leaves on glowing. It then strikes Manectric with the right, then strikes Manectric again with the left. Manectric closes its eyes, reeling from the damage of the attack.

"Flamethrower!"

'Grovyle, use Leaf Blade again!"

Before Manectric has a chance to use Flamethrower, it's struck again with Leaf Blade. Manectric is sent reeling after this attack as well.

"Now use Energy Ball!"

Grovyle opens his mouth and a ball of green energy forms in front of it. Grovyle then fires the green ball of energy at Manectric. Manectric, still reeling from the last 2 attacks, cannot get out of the way. Manectric is hit and it falls to the ground defeated.

"WE DID IT! WE WON!" Travis shouts in excitement.

"Nice work, little bro." Lance says while smiling.

A red light engulfs Manectric as David recalls it back into its Poke Ball. He then looks at the Poke Ball. "You fought well Manectric. Get a good rest." David then walks over to Travis and the two boys exchange a hi-five.

"You've gotten stronger but next time, I'll win." David says.

"We'll see about that!" Travis says.

David turns around and walks away from the others as Travis walks towards his older brother.

"Good job." Lance says while smiling.

"Thanks, bro." Travis says.

"If you keep battling like that, it will help you and your Pokémon."

"I know big bro. And I want to face strong trainers! One day, I will be a pro trainer! Just you wait!"

End of Chapter 4

These comments I'm going to make don't have to do with the plot of your story, but they're good to keep in mind if you plan on becoming a professional writer or something like that. I hope I don't sound harsh with this—I'm doing it because I care!

"(That blasted Darkrai got away from me!)" Koji angrily thinks to himself. "(It won't happen with this one!)"

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Usually when a character is thinking, it's better to show their thoughts by using italics or some other clear method. With "(this method)" it looks confusing for the reader for a second (It's probably hard to type, too!), and in that second the reader gets taken out of the story. It's pretty much always bad for the reader to be taken out of the story. If you must use a non-standard way to show somebody's thinking, *try doing it with asterisks or another single mark.*

They arrive at the truck. Koji opens the back door of the truck. The Machoke put the cage with the Lairon and Aron inside the truck as Koji looks on and laughs!

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Two things with this: first, writing in present tense is usually not the best idea unless you are writing the stage directions for a play. You can write in the present tense for a normal narrative, but it works best in stream of consciousness or other such genres. Second, exclamation marks are best kept out of narrative. If something exciting happens in the narrative, the reader will know it's exciting. Exclamation marks are pretty much only used for dialogue and thoughts.

Lance forms a fist with both hands. "SALAMENCE!!! HYPER BEAM!!!!" He yells out loud.

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Two final things: a single exclamation mark is enough. I would even recommend not using all caps, but some authors do use that for dialogue. And finally, I don't know if this is just a typo, but when an action causes dialogue to "happen," you don't use a capital letter. For instance, it is:

"I want a pizza!" he yelled.

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It is when the action immediately following the dialogue doesn't make it happen that you use a capital letter.

"I want a pizza!" He fiddled with his lapel.

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Thanks for the comments about the typing/dialogue.I'll try to keep that in mind.

On a side note, I don't know when Chapter 6 will be up. I have the idea of what I want to do but I just can't seem to type it up. My apologies.

Update: I actually don't know if I'm going to continue this.