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[Pokémon] An Evolution of Pokémon(Rated PG-13+)

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DJTiki

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  • This is the final fight, for all of Pokémon. There are no humans. Pokémon developed, as a species, and thrived. But a terror, protected by the Kalos Trio, is on the verge of reawakening, and once its power is again, realized......the full extent of their power will destroy everything. This isn't the story about the extinction of humans and Pokémon, but the evolution of a species, the ones we call Pokémon.

    An Evolution of Pokémon

    WARNING: Violence, some romance, coarse language, also shifting perspectives(meaning not every chapter is told in the same perspective everytime, so keep up :))

    Notes: You can tell what perspective the story is being told by who's character is in the parantheses. Also most chapters will told in 2 parts. The rating PG-13+ means that PG-13 is the minimum. It will have chapters that are above PG-13 rating, that's why the + is there. I may have individual warnings for chapter, since it may be a bit....sudden. Well I may not upload on a routine basis, but you know what they say "Writing is like a fart, if you force it, it's probably crap :)" Thank you again, and with that said....

    "You are about to read a tale on a new journey of Pokémon, one without humans. These are the legends inscribed, as the Evolution Of Pokémon.
    -DJTiKi


    Prolouge
    Spoiler:


    Updates to come :)
     
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    DJTiki

    top 3 most uninteresting microcelebrities
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  • Chapter 1: The Timid, The Bold, and The Naughty

    Spoiler:
     
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    DJTiki

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  • Chapter 2: Dreamyards and Drafting
    Spoiler:


    Btw, any Pokémon, you would want to see in the series, tell me :)
     
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    DJTiki

    top 3 most uninteresting microcelebrities
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  • Chapter 3: Rendezvous Point

    Warning:
    Gory Depictions
    Violence
    Foul Language

    Spoiler:
     
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    Nolafus

    Aspiring something
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  • I'm sorry, but the rules clearly state that you can't post unfinished chapters. I deleted your post because of that, and you're welcome to post again once the chapter is complete. I wish you luck on completing the chapter, as I know how frustrating writer's block can be! Just take a step back and evaluate the story, and you might see that the answer is staring at you in the face.
     

    DJTiki

    top 3 most uninteresting microcelebrities
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  • Chapter 4: Ashes To Ashes

    Spoiler:
     

    ShivaDF

    The Scooter-riding Artist
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    • Seen Aug 25, 2017
    You seem to be a nice, intelligent guy, DJTiKi. So I bet you can use this information well.

    There are many spelling and punctuation errors in your story. You said at some point that you overuse commas (at least, I think you said that somewhere). Now, misusing punctuation is not such a huge deal in a short forum post, but in a long story it makes the narrative confusing. Here's an incredibly famous example using a Dear John-style letter:

    Dear John:
    I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy—will you let me be yours?
    Jane

    Versus:

    Dear John:
    I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
    Yours,
    Jane
    Yeah... John wouldn't have been happy with that second letter. Anyway, here are some guides on using commas (note: style guides disagree a lot. This won't affect your usual writing, but it's important to know for school):

    APA Style,

    Punctuation Guide,

    and finally, an article from the Huffington Post.

    I think the Punctuation Guide is the best here.

    Now as for spellcheck, I use a free writing program called Apache OpenOffice to write my fanfics in before I post them. That program has a built-in spellchecker. Most of your spelling mistakes (such as "leftmof" instead of "left of,") can be fixed pretty easily.

    Hope I helped! As for your plot, it seems fine, although I think you could use more description. I didn't really get a sense of the forest or cave, for instance.
     
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