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- Thread starter Antoshi
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- 10,175
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It's funny, because just earlier today, I was thinking about you and your fic. Especially how I never found the time to read your rewrite of "A Blond Ray of Sunshine."
But now you're back with another fic! Good thing that prior knowledge of Sunshine isn't needed, so I don't feel too bad. And I can still enjoy this. There's not much yet for me to comment on. I do like the mystery of the boy from Fern Town, and if he'll get his memory back or if anyone will find out what happened. It's always great to see Antoshi and Fireball continuing their journey. Glad to see that they made it to the Indigo League!
But now you're back with another fic! Good thing that prior knowledge of Sunshine isn't needed, so I don't feel too bad. And I can still enjoy this. There's not much yet for me to comment on. I do like the mystery of the boy from Fern Town, and if he'll get his memory back or if anyone will find out what happened. It's always great to see Antoshi and Fireball continuing their journey. Glad to see that they made it to the Indigo League!
Antoshi
Imagination Station
- 132
- Posts
- 19
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- Seen Sep 11, 2023
Well hello there again. It's great to see you. :)
I will say that prior knowledge of the previous story is *kinda* needed, especially with some of the references to it. But, like with any medium, people frequently get their first look at a book or a TV show or a film series by first catching a later episode or part of the series and deciding from there if it's something they're interested in getting more of. So that's why I put the fact that it's not needed in the author notes. If they do want to go back and read it at any time, it's there!
Venia Silente
Inspectious. Good for napping.
- 1,231
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- 15
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- on the second floor's nest
- Seen today
Hey, I grabbed this story last night not really expecting much, just exploring stories to see what was there to read about. But i found stuff to like! Mentions of the Whirl Islands, some very good setup for worldbuilding, and a Typhlosion being awesome!
In my opinion this story so far does very well with the pacing (except at the end of the Lanturn fight where I feel like the pacing is broken and the next Pokémon brought up too abruptly, but then again I foresaw that it was going to be the Tyranitar and expected some more dramatic juice). The Pokémon when fighting do what they have to do and fights feel active and strategic while keeping up with the general model of a turn-based system. When not doing battles, the pacing in the interview between the mysterious crater boy and the also mysterious military general is also pretty good, with each character pressing into what they want (answers, from each side) without falling into treating the situation like this would be the "last" meeting.
My chief concern with the story so far, if anything, is the idea that a trainer with a sole Pokémon can fight their way through things like this and reach any far into a tournament; I feel like because of the very premise of how a tournament is set up (bringing up the best in the Trainer marketplace) that is something that would simply not work - no matter how good you are, if you are one you only have to lose once, and the opponents are far more numerous and have a good number of Laws of Statistics -not to mention their skill- to their advantage. But, honestly, I am quite willing to let any more deep analysis pass for the time being just to see some more awesome Typhlosion screentime. So keep doing that good part of the good job!
In my opinion this story so far does very well with the pacing (except at the end of the Lanturn fight where I feel like the pacing is broken and the next Pokémon brought up too abruptly, but then again I foresaw that it was going to be the Tyranitar and expected some more dramatic juice). The Pokémon when fighting do what they have to do and fights feel active and strategic while keeping up with the general model of a turn-based system. When not doing battles, the pacing in the interview between the mysterious crater boy and the also mysterious military general is also pretty good, with each character pressing into what they want (answers, from each side) without falling into treating the situation like this would be the "last" meeting.
My chief concern with the story so far, if anything, is the idea that a trainer with a sole Pokémon can fight their way through things like this and reach any far into a tournament; I feel like because of the very premise of how a tournament is set up (bringing up the best in the Trainer marketplace) that is something that would simply not work - no matter how good you are, if you are one you only have to lose once, and the opponents are far more numerous and have a good number of Laws of Statistics -not to mention their skill- to their advantage. But, honestly, I am quite willing to let any more deep analysis pass for the time being just to see some more awesome Typhlosion screentime. So keep doing that good part of the good job!
Antoshi
Imagination Station
- 132
- Posts
- 19
- Years
- Seen Sep 11, 2023
@Venia Silente Hello there! It's great to see a new name just as much as it is to see the regulars here. :)
You're right about the single-Pokemon thing being potentially contentious (potentious?). It is an aspect that's visited regularly, so it's not like some magical thing that nobody realizes is happening. As far as making it reasonable that they could get this far there is the 2v2 aspect thrown in for the preliminary matches, meaning that they're only at a one-Pokemon disadvantage. Even still, there's plenty of possibility to squeeze in dramatic moments in a 1v2 situation. These are supposed to be the best active Trainers in Kanto, after all.
Thanks so much for the review. I look forward to seeing you again!
You're right about the single-Pokemon thing being potentially contentious (potentious?). It is an aspect that's visited regularly, so it's not like some magical thing that nobody realizes is happening. As far as making it reasonable that they could get this far there is the 2v2 aspect thrown in for the preliminary matches, meaning that they're only at a one-Pokemon disadvantage. Even still, there's plenty of possibility to squeeze in dramatic moments in a 1v2 situation. These are supposed to be the best active Trainers in Kanto, after all.
Thanks so much for the review. I look forward to seeing you again!
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- 10,175
- Posts
- 17
- Years
- Age 37
- Seen today
Good thing I decided to settle in and catch up with this, since the last chapter will be posted soon!
This has grown to more than just a kid and his best Typhlosion buddy story. Though disappointing for Antoshi, it was great to see him lose in the Indigo League. Especially to somebody that he had history with. It showed how much he grew, and how much more growing he--and Fireball--have to do.
Latoshi is a dark character. And I like that he has the same sort of name as Antoshi, including having the same "that's a weird name" reaction to it. His conscience Lazarus is absolutely crazy, and I'm wondering if there's more to Lazarus that just being a voice in Latoshi's head.
This has grown to more than just a kid and his best Typhlosion buddy story. Though disappointing for Antoshi, it was great to see him lose in the Indigo League. Especially to somebody that he had history with. It showed how much he grew, and how much more growing he--and Fireball--have to do.
Latoshi is a dark character. And I like that he has the same sort of name as Antoshi, including having the same "that's a weird name" reaction to it. His conscience Lazarus is absolutely crazy, and I'm wondering if there's more to Lazarus that just being a voice in Latoshi's head.
- 10,175
- Posts
- 17
- Years
- Age 37
- Seen today
What a violent end to this part of the story.
Not much to comment on since this really was just a giant fight, but it sets up the story for the next part of this. Latoshi now sees that maybe wanting to destroy everything might not be the best way to go about things. Antoshi and Fireball prove once again how close they are and how willing they are to protect one another. Especially once the undead Houndoom shows up.
Things are getting interesting with a third character having special powers added to the mix! Unless she's the sister of Antoshi and Latoshi, this whole thing is going to take a while to unravel. I'm left wondering how Antoshi (and his parents?) will deal with Latoshi.
Not much to comment on since this really was just a giant fight, but it sets up the story for the next part of this. Latoshi now sees that maybe wanting to destroy everything might not be the best way to go about things. Antoshi and Fireball prove once again how close they are and how willing they are to protect one another. Especially once the undead Houndoom shows up.
Things are getting interesting with a third character having special powers added to the mix! Unless she's the sister of Antoshi and Latoshi, this whole thing is going to take a while to unravel. I'm left wondering how Antoshi (and his parents?) will deal with Latoshi.
Venia Silente
Inspectious. Good for napping.
- 1,231
- Posts
- 15
- Years
- on the second floor's nest
- Seen today
Oooh the title says story complete? Congratulations!
Well, I am still catching up, which is a good thing because it means there's more to read. It's a good story, and challenging for me because it notably mixes something I like with something I don't. The idea of humans with powers rivaling Pokémon is not exactly my cup of tea, but I'm hoping for Fireball to deliver when it comes to handling that.
Speaking of characters, your character development seems pretty solid. Here we have a small cast so it is not necessary to solidify their traits to the point where the characters become unmistakable, but the story doesn't let itself go lazy on the opposite side, and characters seem to function on a bit of their description every chapter, allowing pretty much everyone to experience some amount of and a similar pacing of character change and progress.
Well, I am still catching up, which is a good thing because it means there's more to read. It's a good story, and challenging for me because it notably mixes something I like with something I don't. The idea of humans with powers rivaling Pokémon is not exactly my cup of tea, but I'm hoping for Fireball to deliver when it comes to handling that.
Speaking of characters, your character development seems pretty solid. Here we have a small cast so it is not necessary to solidify their traits to the point where the characters become unmistakable, but the story doesn't let itself go lazy on the opposite side, and characters seem to function on a bit of their description every chapter, allowing pretty much everyone to experience some amount of and a similar pacing of character change and progress.