Spankings, ooohhhh

Missingno Baby said:

It's not right to hit your kid every time they talk back at you, do something wrong.....

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Yeah, LOL, if that was the case, i would get hit very often. Ya know, my 8 year old sister hits me more than my parents ever did.

I?m very impressed that an actual discussion is taking place in a topic, wonderful change.

First of all I never intend on having children or anything that requires sustenance of life, because I?m simply terrible at doing that. However, I suppose I can say what I think. Let me start by saying that my views are probably pretty warped since growing up I haven?t yet been punished by my parents. No time outs, no spankings, no nothing. Heck when I felt I had done something wrong I?d sometimes punish myself, but never by my parents .So that being said I?m really not quite sure if spankings, time-outs or whatever are effective in rearing a child?a good reason I shouldn?t have one ne?

I do however find physically hitting someone a very poor way to get anything across be it done lightly by hand or harshly by whip or belt. It can (however not necessarily does as we can see in Kayleigh?s case) build up resentment and the ideas of releasing emotions in more physical ways, such as maybe hitting something when you?re frustrated or whatnot. Iveechan raises a good point though?so few parents have follow-through these days. Be it with punishments, or keeping up on what their children are doing, to making an effort to understand them a little better, if I had to say one thing I think is needed to parent a child follow through would be it. I?d also say balance and a few other things, but I won?t dwell on that.

I on occasion like Jordan will hear mothers just screaming at their kids to get them to stop what they?re doing. I find that more selfish than anything since they?re going about it in such a way that?s more beneficial to them than the raising of the child, such as saving them from embarrassment in public places.

Triforce89 (with the?interesting avatar) has a point though that if parents sit back and let their kids do pretty much anything without being taught the whole ?cause effect? thing will find their butts in some pretty tough terrain when their children grow out of the stage where the harm to the parents is minimal. This is again the parents being selfish and not making an effort to do things to embitter their child?s growth, rather they do what gets the kid out of their face and troubles for the time being.

For the argument that spankings are more effective than ?time outs etc? let?s think about why that may be. It?s because it does cause them harm, it hurts! Maybe there?s no scar but the concept, as far as I can see behind a spanking is to teach the child not to do wrong things because there will be a painful punishment, which in this stage is carried out by a spanking. It puts a fear into the child, that?s why it produces the result it does.
To add to this, perhaps the reason spanking is effective and popular is there's no needed follow through--hit the child and it's done, the pain is there, the lesson learned. So in my opinion other methods can work, but this one is much "easier" for a lazy parent.

I can see your point Abby. I always say I would never hit my kids, but then I think, what would I do if the really screwed up. I do think I'd like hitting them, as I think about it. Maybe I would resort to punishment. Hmm...I guess I'll see if I ever have children.

I've always thought of spanking kids as child abuse.
Anyways I wouldn't really have a choice because if I don't, my father will and believe me, he hits hard. XD If it were up to me, if they do something really...really bad, I will.
*sigh* Why can't my parents ground me instead of whacking me in the butt. It's killing me.

Well, depending on how many times and how hard you hit your children determines if it's abuse. A spanking every couple of months isn't really considered abuse, i don't think. Byt, if it occurs daily, and you have a lot of bruises, then that's abuse.

Well,if my child has been bad...VERY bad cuz like,it takes alot for me to get mad,and like,i would spank my child,not because i can,because it teaches my offspring whos the boss and to not do whatever he or she will end up doing in the near future...and plus,I can't really think about This i mean,with my Future job,i won't see my family for a while,so,to think about it,my wife should think about all this...

Well, I do think that Kairi has a point. I don't agree with spanking your child every single time that they do something wrong; that really would be abuse. And plus, you don't ever want to hit them whenever they are young. When children are really young, and I'm talking about a few months old, then there's really no way that you can spoil them, because they're totally dependant on you, and you have to take care of them almost all of the time.

Though, once they are older, then yelling at them every time that they do something wrong will not be effective after a while. It may work at first, but sooner or later the child learns that, 'Hey! All she's going to do is yell at me. That isn't hurting me, so I'll just ignore her', etc. Trust me, I've witnessed this, and I know from experience, unfortunately. ~_~ That still doesn't mean that you need to go straight for the belt and pop them, though. I would only say to give them a little, not hard, pop on the hand or something, so they'll learn that no means no. It may seem like abuse, but as long as you don't go over-the-top then they won't be hurt. It says that it's okay in the Bible, as long as you don't abuse your child, but that's just what I go by. I don't resent my mother in any way for spanking me; I think that I probably would have those feelings if all she did was yell, though. Who wants to hear a parent yelling? That's more annoying than a spanking, in my opinion. And really... Unless you teach your child discipline, then they might do something really dangerous, and if they don't have a slight fear of you, just to know that you're the parent and they're the child, then they won't obey you. They'll think they're too good or something.

I know someone who once left her three year old daughter with her grandmother, who can't see, at her apartment one time. After the mother had left, the little girl ended up running out of the front door, and out onto a main, really busy street, and of course this scared her grandmother to death because she couldn't see her. She called for the little girl to come back, but she wouldn't listen. Thankfully, no one ran over her, and a man found the little girl and brought her back over to her grandmother's house.

This just goes to show that you have to get your kids to listen to you, and let them know who is boss. This little girl has only been yelled at, or given time-outs, or something that really didn't bother her too much, and she's learned to not listen to anyone because she knows that they won't do anything to her.

If you think yelling is annoying, trying getting hit with a belt and getting yelled at, that's so annoying, LOL. Hmm, I know people who have gotten beat with extension cords, luckily not me. Only a belt, which don't hurt all that bad.

Haha, I was such a problem child. I was amazingly hyper when I was kid, I'mn serious, when I wanted to yell out loud for no reason out loud I just would. In a store, at home, at church wherever! I was a little brat..hoo haa

My dad used to spank me when I got out of hand. He didn't beat me or anything horrible like that, just one of those times where he'd pull out the belt and hit my butt a few times. Heh, spanking never worked for me. If I did somthing wrong you could me over the head with a steel beam and I'd cry for a few minutes and go off and do the same thing over and over. But my dad was a smart guy, he knew spankings didn't phase me. So every time I got out of hand, he'd have me sit down in chair for half an hour. That may not sound like a lot of time, but my dad said that every time I said a something, moved too much, or made faces, I'd have to sit for another half hour. Wow, my first time with that punishment I think I sat all day long. I HATED it...but it worked..!

Bottom line is, spanking works with most kids, and I encourage it, it teaches discipline. But I don't encourage outright beating the snot out of your kids. Maybe a smack if they say a bad word or a belt across the butt if they smirk off. But with psycho hyper painless kids, have them cut off from the world and they'll be beggin for forgiveness...loong post for me

BOO ya!