Hi there! Just so you know, I've merged your thread with this one in the subsection. The main section is only for stories rather than plot ideas.
Hey there thank you for responding first off and thanks for getting my thread in the right place I just got my account and this was my first post.
In what ways do you intend to make the story more serious than it was in Platinum? There's a number of ways to take it, I feel.
I was thinking about putting a lot more emphasis on the Team Galactic plot and make many more people (Gym Leaders and maybe backup for Looker) involved with stoping them so they would be better represented as a stronger organization instead of a team that got taken down by a couple of kids. So I was go I was also going to try to put more emphasis on Cyrus and a character and show why he wants to destroy the world more than just saying he thinks it is bad. I was also planning on having Pokemon die... I think nuff said.
Arguably, their choice of starter isn't quite as important as how they are used in the story. Consider how you'd characterise those Pokemon and maybe also include them in some of those ideas for the trainers (although it seems you may already be doing this too!) - say, how would the Turtwig teach Barry patience? (Think there's a typo there too - 'deal with allow Pokemon' is confusing).
Wow can't believe I missed that typo. I meant so say deal with a slow Pokemon as it would clash with his hot headed and fast mind set.
Finally I have a script I just wrote up really quickly to kind of showcase my style. Its not very professional though and hard to read as it is formatted for a script for an anime episode. You have been warned.
This is Lucas. He is a sixteen year old hoping to one day become a Pokemon master just like his father. Nothing will stop him from defeating all 8 gyms and the pokemon league. He as vowed to become the greatest trainer in Sinnoh and maybe even the world! But first he has to get out of his room and away from his TV
TV: Special news today coming from Sandgem town today as the famed Pokemon researcher known to many as Professor Rowan has returned from the Kanto region back to his home, the Sinnoh. He has been quoted saying he will set up the first world class research facility in the Sinnoh in Sandgem Town in order to help research the legendary Pokemon said to be living in Lake Verity
(commotion heard downstairs and crashing heard)
Barry: sorry sorry sorry
(running up stairs heard)
Barry: Lucas Lucas did you hear?
TV: In other news a streak of red was seen in the sky today in Hoenn
Barry: a streak of red huh, wonder what that could be, I mean did you hear?
Lucas: slow down barry hear what?
Barry: Oh my god this is so great some professor guy like rowan or something is in sand gem town. I heard you can get pokemon from him if you get there. We gotta go now Lucas! Before all the pokemon are gone!
Lucas: Ok lets go race you there
Barry: Ha youll never beat me in a race and pretty soon you'll never beat me in a pokemon battle either
(both run out the house)
Lucas's Mom: Huh lucas where are you going?
Lucas: gonna get some Pokemon mom ill be back before dark!!
(lucas pops his head back in the door)
Lucas: Love you!!
Barry: Your making this to easy come on Lucas!!!!
(Barry's mom open her door)
Barry's mom: where are you two going in such a hurry!!
(Barry and Lucas are running until Lucas trips over a branch and hits a small tree dropping a nest from it Starly then attack them both)
Dawn: piplup bubble beam pronto!!
(Piplup scatters the Stary and saves barry and Lucas)
Dawn: Piplup return!
Dawn: you reckless fools you ruined my research i almost had that starly egg
Barry: ughh those Pokemon ripped up my jacket
Dawn: ughh those pokemon ripped up my jacket (in mocking voice) the nerve of you. let me tell you something…
Barry: Barry
Dawn: Barry, didn't your mother ever teach you its not nice to talk over other, and it would be nie if you showed a little consideration for my loss instead of mooring over your ugly jacket
Barry: Hey calm down girl we were just trying to get some pokemon and I take pride in how I dress, something it appears like you don't
Dawn: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!!!
(Rowan walks up)
Rowan: dawn what is the meaning of this is your yelling what scared off that flock of stary i just saw?
Dawn: Proffesor I'm sorry it just that umm
Barry: wait your professor rowan?
Dawn: what did i say about interrupting me?!
Rowan: yes i am child and whats your name
Dawn: this is Barry hes the nimrod who scared off all the staly
Barry: sorry prossor but me and my friend here were runnig to get pokemon from you
Rowan: (laughing) do you think i just give out pokemon?
Barry: well i mean kind of like i heard you were from a guy who heard it from the news or something i dont remember it could have been lemme think umm
Rowan: My my your brain runs at full speed doesn't it
Barry: (embarrassed) ya well
Rowan: forgive me but im not sure i know your name
Lucas: ohh sorry professor im lucas and im the one who hit the stary nest and made them go haywire sorry
Barry: ya so maybe you should give the evil eye to him not me lady
Dawn: Ill give the evil eye to whoever i want, me and my ugly clothes are free to do as we please. And trust me it not like i want to stare at you, it hard to stare at such a disgusting face to be honest
Barry: Why you I'll…
Lucas: (grabs barry) we should probably be going back to twin leaf town
Rowan: your going to twin leaf town? why dont you two escort me to Lake verity then its not far off and considering the commotion you stirred up its the least you can do
Lucas: we'd be happy to professor
Rowan: and if you two want pokemon then why dont you try out these two
Dawn: proffesor your not really going to give them those are you
Rowan: well see dawn
(rowan reaches into his bag and pulls two poke balls)
Rowan: for you barry, this pokemon should be right up your alley
(barry gets a turtwig)
barry: really professor and slow turtwig?
(Turtwig tackles barry)
Rowan: hes almost as hot tempered as you'd say
Rowan: here lucas this one is for you
(Lucas gets a chimchar)
lucas: what is it professor?
Rowan: its a chimchar a fire type pokemon
Barry: hey no fair fire beats grass
rowan: ahh i see you know more about pokemon than would meet the eye, dawn you can head back to the lab im sure these two can escort me just fine
Dawn: but but
Barry: you heard the man leave us be we got important stuff to do
dawn: Ohh would you shut up
barry: bye bye love you!!
Dawn: Im going to kill you i swear!!