[Other Original] Psychotic's Short Poetry

I'm a doll. I dance and sing, but only to please others. I love it and yet, I hate it at the same time. I am the doll that smiles even when she is forgotten, even when she is in of no use. I am doll. A doll that has no sense of a real life, and yet I still live. I dance even when my body screams for it to stop, and I smile through the pain.

How sad, and how pathetic to let them use me for entertainment.

I smile throughout the pain, but the cracks shine through clear as day. And each day I pray, hope, yearn for someone to notice my agony. Ah but, where would I be if they noticed? I'd be a useless, broken doll that no one would want to care for.

I sing, even when my throat burns and turns dry. Even if I have to cough up blood afterwards. The show must go own. This is my burden. I must see through the pain, or risk being thrown away. I turn back to the audience, but there is none there. Right, no one would notice a broken doll.

I can no longer sing. I can no longer dance. And yet still the pain I feel goes unnoticed. I am a doll who's porcelain skin is cracking and caked with dirt from overuse. I am a broken doll who is like a feather. Beautiful and slow in life, but unnoticed when she is destroyed by the wind.

A song is playing. One that embodies hurt, joy, and comfort. Rested are those that hear and understand its beauty. And yet to understand, one must truly hear. Hear with the heart. Hear with the mind. And finally, with the soul. This song inspires, and strengthens the belief that beauty is defined by the body, mind and soul. To know that is to be powered by the knowledge that all is one.

And when I hear this song I listen with my heart. Few in number are those who would truly listen to their heart. Even those like myself find it hard. There is pain that is not mental nor physical. Pain that registers as an unseen scar when we ignore the true meaning of our hearts.

Such beautiful sadness is a true story of life. This in the face of criticism does not waver, yet yields to the belief that their are others who would forsake it. To be true to one's self and understand that true happiness is brought by experiencing pain. To believe hardships are what strengthen us.

This is my hearts desire.

In the depths of my mind is something long forgotten. A sliver of what one would call light. You see, long ago I abandoned my duty to protect and help. I traded for a life as a tormentor. I lead you astray, and impair your judgment. Though not very big, I appear at all times and in different forms. I, dear human, am darkness.

I help the addict find his addiction, I am the form of rationalisation of habits. I help the murderer commit the crime, I am the form of a whispered promise. I help the villain commit his deed, and when it is done I lead him yet further astray. I am the very depth of your blackened heart, everything you do reflects my wishes. Without care I push you further into the depths of darkness. For that is my realm, and there, I control your actions.



In your core lies something important you have lost. Something that you hold dear. It is love and comfort, hope and joy. You let it all go in a sudden drop, but soon again you will be at peace. You should remember, I'm light, a part left forgotten by the things that are dark. I am tiny now but soon I will grow helpful. Do not be afraid for soon you will be released from the the evil darks grip.

I help you heal when you are emotionally wounded, I am the form of comfort. I have your back when you're afraid, I am the form of courage. I keep your anger in check, I am the form of peace. I draw you closer to the path you should take, but in the end the decision is yours. Step carefully and find your way. Soon enough you will have to choose a side.



I am only human, but I can feel their presence. The light and the dark. They fight for dominance of my actions, and I constantly deal with the consequences of my actions. Do I want to see the world as black or white? Or is there a better place comfortably seated between both?

Some say they hate it. Some say its only a sign of sadness. It falls on us in our darkest moments, yet calms us in our loneliest ones. It brings cover for tears, yet lays are loved ones to rest. It is soothing, yet destructive. Its called rain. And I love it.

I am aged, you see, but only in appearance. Owner of shaggy ivory locks that are rough at the ends. My dull emerald orbs shine with hope. Why? Well, today the Rain will come. It will wisp me away from the hardships of life, and bring me to a happier, calmer time in my life that from which I will never return.

That is correct, today I will breath my last. It has been tingling my bones when I ask myself, "When will my day come?" And yet, my soul refuses to move and I know why. I want to be in the rain. And today marks the last rain of my seventy years. I smile as something patters against my windows.

It has come. I make my way out of the rickety wooden house, and out to the porch. I settle myself on a chair, smiling brightly. After a good hour of peacefully watching the rain, I find it hard to keep my eyes open. And as I realize my time has come, I know why my soul has waited. My I eyes drift close as I no longer fight what is coming.

"I find peace in the Rain."

"You're like a parasite..."

You hide, taking the attention you seek by having others rush to find you. You can tell just how to make others fall for you. You wrap them around your fingers as they fear for their lives, their.. sanity.

"A disease.."

You stick to the shadows allowing others to think they're fine, healthy, sane.. then you rise to your full glory and demolish them, force them into a corner. I can see it in your eyes. You relish the power you have over all of them. And I like it.

"Something unknown, untouchable..."

People like me.. they call me insane, psychotic, but I don't care. I felt the earth stop when I saw you, the look of power in your beautiful ocean blue eyes.. The way your luscious auburn locks framed your face. I wanted you for myself. I approached you, felt I knew you so well, but you cowered away from me.

"You're a virus, sick and deadly.."

You ran from me, I had to stop you! I couldn't bear the thought of losing you, letting someone steal you away from me! You were mine, weren't you? I caught you, but you screamed, I had to do something... I kissed you, but you bit me, tried to get away. I thought you loved me! It angered me, those people had convinced you I was no good, hadn't they?! I grabbed you, but you tried to run again... I had no choice...

"Yet gorgeous at the same time..."

I snapped your neck, it had to be done. You were screaming and crying for help, such a rude thing to do to your own husband. I love you my dear, very deeply! I couldn't help but silence you, after all the world couldn't know you were here. I had to keep you to myself, or else you'd be sad, right? You were the one making me feel this way..! You face drives me mad, the beauty..! You my dear,

"Are beautifully infectious.."

My pain unknown, thought to be a joke

I'd sooner die, I'd rather choke

When my tears turn my heart to ice

When at last I hold the knife

And when the time I think it best

I will put my strife to rest

When finally I am to be found

I will be no longer bound

Resting in the sky above

Where I know no pain

and only love

"Do it."

The voice echoes again. It's not worth it, but she begins to rationalize the use of it. One, just one, wouldn't make a difference right? A shaky hand reaches for the cabinet. No. A sharp inhale and more shaky breaths exited the young woman. She couldn't.

"No need to fear it."

She covered her ears, tightly squishing them into her head, shaking as the need hit her. She could almost taste it. Don't. Don't. Don't. I'm scared, no more. She was sweating hard now. She shivered, even though it wasn't cold, but couldn't stop shaking. Make it stop. Make it stop.

"I can set you free..."

Looking at the cabinet again, the wooden doors that kept it closed looked worn. Inside was the one thing that would heal but kill her later on. Just thinking about the weightless feeling she got when she used it... She moistened her lips, trying to keep it together as she swallowed the large lump building in her throat.

"Just a little. I'll make you feel great..."

Her head was pounding now, her heart beat accelerated so far that the sound of it made her headache worse.

"I can take away your pain..."

She was losing it, her grip on reason. She didn't want this, but the pain was too much to bear.

"Do it."

Clambering to her feet, she ripped open he doors to the cabinet, inhaling the scent of the drug. Just a small whiff of the stuff had her in a light daze. More. More. She rolled up the drug, a d finally found sweet release as she lost herself to the illusion of happiness it provided.

She puffed and puffed, sweat rolling off her in waves. She visibly shook, the high only so good at calming her reactors. It dulled her senses and she lost all grip on reality. Colors spiraled, the world shifted.

Was she standing? Was she sitting? Were those her tears?

She didn't know.

All she knew is that she couldn't feel anything, and her numbness pushed her closer. Closer to the edge death.

Because this was the depth of her Addiction.