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Old October 26th, 2013 (12:41 AM).
Nakala Pri Nakala Pri is offline
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    ★ Gonna steal your heart ★
    One way or another,
    C'mon baby, I wanna be your only lover!
    Going through the motions,
    All of these emotions, pilin' up pilin' up!
    Leave me in the dark and I'll start to lark,
    How will I become your only baby?
    Or shall I murder the rest of the competition, maybe?
    I'm possessive, I'm attention seeking,
    I'm also totally reeking of jealousy,
    So let's pump up this melody!

    No more lyin',
    Time to cut the spyin'!
    I refuse to lean back and watch
    As the ladies come up come up
    To flirt til their empty.
    You do realize
    I'll stop this little enterprise
    Of your beautiful minions!
    I'll scratch their pretty little faces,
    Kick 'em when they pull those funny little graces!
    I am a raging rebel, out to follow my shining star!
    I know where you live,
    I know who you are...
    Stop being... such a liar...

    Why would you stay with a little runt like me
    When you have the Queen Bee?
    But I refuse to die a loser,
    Where is she?
    I'll freaken bruise her!
    You were mine,
    She stole you away,
    Now my little petit chefluer,
    ★ IT'S TIME TO PAY! ★


    Just a little song. I've gotten pretty fond of songwriting!


    You'll know it's about you when it's full on romance, Nathan! <3
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      #2    
    Old October 26th, 2013 (3:22 PM).
    Crux's Avatar
    Crux Crux is offline
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      Hm, well, overall it's fine, but maybe try to rhyme a bit less? I mean, so long as a song has a nice flow through-out it, then making sure that the lyrics rhyme is far less important. And trying to rhyme every line with the next one can make a song sound really awkward, depending on what genre it's supposed to be. (I'm getting more of a pop-rock sound from this.)

      I don't know, maybe I don't have any room to talk, though. My lyricism really isn't any better, haha. x)
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        #3    
      Old October 26th, 2013 (11:40 PM).
      Nakala Pri Nakala Pri is offline
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        Yeah, I did rhyme a bit. Maybe on day I'll edit it when I get inspiration.

        Yup, I was going for something similar to pop-rock, or punk pop, wasn't really sure at the time. But thanks! :D
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