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[Pokémon] The legend of the lunar twins

Smurf007

Ace Trainer
24
Posts
14
Years
  • INTRODUCTION: BACKGROUND INFO


    This story revolves around the myth in PROLOUGE, mostly the twins of the moon. In the time of the story, the Gym Leaders, Elite Four and The Champion are all Shamans and they rule the world through use of their Pokemon and their strange, magical powers. Most of the people in the region have succumbed to their rule, but a few of them- known as the rebellion- are fighting against this rule, in the belief that it is tyranny- which it is. The main character has recently graduated from the rebellion academy and is about to get his first Pokemon, along with two other graduates. He receives his Pokemon and goes out into the world to try and free the world from the tyranny.

    He collects his badges and discovers how to turn the Shamans back to the light. He saves them and then continues on to become the champion.

    RATING: Most of the story will be for all readers, but some chapters may contain violence and death, so I will put a warning on those chapters.

    PROLOGUE: THE MYTH

    In the beginning, there was a Pokemon above all others, who roamed the highest realms of space and time. He breathed, and from his outgoing breath were born three creatures. In an instant, space expanded, time began to flow, and darkness rushed in. The Creator was pleased, and left to a distant realm, where it would sleep forevermore. However, his creations were imperfect, and tried to fashion more Pokemon in their masters' likeness. These Pokemon were imperfect as well, and one of them was working its way through the new Pokemon, corrupting them and turning them to darkness...

    Soon, a world was birthed from the expansion of space and time, and the masses settled upon this realm. The Pokemon of space and time realised that there was a darkness among these Pokemon they had created, and, shamed that they had brought a darkness to the land, the creatures of space and time retreated to be with their master.

    The new Pokemon were, in fact, all good and sweet and inoccent. All but one. The creature born from the dark side of the moon was a dark and evil creation, and it began to work its evil spell upon the world. Soon, the inoccent pokemon were corrupted. Many of these Pokemon even embraced the darkness, making it their own, and becoming one with it, eventually becoming like the dark Pokemon themeselves and joining it in its quest for dominion.


    The dark pokemon all joined together in an attempt to take over the world, and the only hope for the rest of the world was a Pokemon that could combat the evil one's powers- the lunar Pokemon, a creature of perfect light. A great battle was fought between the two forces that lasted 40 days and 40 nights, and many had died before the Creator had heard of it and came. He stopped the war and forced the dark creature to be bound to an island in the middle of nowhere, with its twin close by to contain it...
     
    Last edited:

    Misheard Whisper

    [b][color=#FF0000]I[/color] [color=#FF7F00]also[/c
    3,488
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    15
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  • PROLOUGE: THE MYTH
    Prologue. Not prolouge.

    In the beginning, there was a Pokèmon(accent is round the wrong way) above all others who roamed the highest realms of space and time. He breathed, and from his outgoing breath were born three creatures. In an instant, space expanded, time began to flow, and darkness rushed in. The Creator was pleased, and left to a distant realm, where it would sleep forevermore. However, his creations were imperfect, and more Pokèmon of a different sort began to appear...

    Soon, a world was birthed from the expansion of space and time, and the masses settled upon this realm. Ashamed that they had brought a darkness to the land, (how were they the ones that brought the darkness? I don't get this) the creatures of space and time retreated to be with their master.

    The new Pokèmon were, in fact, all good and sweet and innocent. All but one. The creature born from the dark side of the moon was a dark and evil creation, and it began to work its evil spell upon the world. Soon, the inoccent pokèmon were corrupted. Many of them even turned to darkness, on the side of the evil creature. (Awkward syntax much? I recommend rewriting this sentence so it's a little clearer)

    The dark pokèmon (accent again) all joined together in an attempt to take over the world, and the only hope for the rest of the world was the opposite of the evil creature - the lord of light (Who's this?). A great battle was fought that lasted 40 days and 40 nights, and many had died before the Creator had heard of it and come (Wrong tense. I think.). He stopped the war and forced the dark creature to be bound to an island in the middle of nowhere, with its twin close by to contain it..
    My comments and fixes are above in bold. Overall, a little short, though that's no problem. I have no idea where this is going, so I'll reserve judgement on the plot for a while. Keep it up, this isn't half bad, especially given a little work.
     

    Smurf007

    Ace Trainer
    24
    Posts
    14
    Years
  • Dragon-if you want to know what they are, PM me and i'll PM back. Everyone, expect chapter 1 in a week or 2. not for at least 3 days. If you want a brief outline of the story, read the intro.
     
    Last edited:
    10,175
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    17
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    • Age 37
    • Seen yesterday
    How do i get the accent above the e on pokemon?
    You don't need to get the accent mark over Pokemon when you write your fic, because it's obvious that that is the word you mean.

    Besides, I don't know if you're writing on a laptop, desktop, with Windows or another operating system, so what works for me to get the accent might not work for you.

    What I'm saying is that just as long as you consistently write "Pokemon" with a capital P and no accent, then you're fine. Consistency is what matters with that, not the accent mark.

    This is all covered in the Reviewing Guide stickied in the Writer's Lounge, specifically this post.
     
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