158094. I'm on my phone again. I really miss my laptop, its like being homeless and having to use things that are half as good and not having any resources. All i have is my mind and some crappy computers here and there. While i'm at it, i better say some things i maybe should have. I've been having this eager need to just come clean over something but i don't quite know what... Well... I have an idea as to what it may be but it shouldn't matter here, not on the internet. It feels like the more happy i am in life, the more i upset the others around me. But it's always been that way. I like to see people happy, but always deep down i have envy escalating from seeing others smile. I've been silly, very much so. My Dad's been really sick and i kind of just ignored it and took any frustration i had out on others. I lead a good life, but i'm not happy. I seem like one of those happy go lucky people to my friends, but i've lost so many because eventually they see i'm not. I have dreams just like anyone. I'm talented like few, but i'm selfish. I've been wrong these past few months. I can see now how i've just ignored truth and hurt those around me. I don't know what this means for the future or how in saying this will help. But. I'm sorry. An apology far too meaningless to those it concerns but it's all i can say.