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1,000 ways to be kicked out of Walmart

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mew_nani

Pokécommunity's Licensed Tree Exorcist
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  • 49: Dress up like a famous badass swordsman, like Link or Sephiroth. Not only will you have no trouble getting kicked out, but they'll NEVER let you back in. :laugh:
     
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  • 50--Switch people's babies and kick people's carts out of their hands and into the parking lot. After all of this is done, start singing "We Are the Champions" and smear banana paste in your hair.

    51--Stand in a toilet and try to flush yourself down it. When you find that it doesn't work, scream, "Damn you, Ministry!"

    52--Scream that the chupacabras is right outside over the loudspeaker. Then pull out a goat's horn you got from who-knows-where and scream, "EVIDENCE!" That'll getcha kill--I-I mean, kicked out of WalMart.
     

    Massacre.

    sky's on fire again
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  • 54. Get an airsoft gun or BB gun (preferably a bb gun cuz it has no orange tip) and point it at your own head infront of an employee and say "Can you tell me what this does?"
     

    Melody

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  • 55: Dress in drag, visit the isle of the opposite genders' clothing and shout your complaints about lack of things in your size(es) loudly at passersby. This is most effective for men.
     

    Sydian

    fake your death.
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  • ^ That's tons of fun actually.

    56. Be unaware of the products in Walmart and walk through the hygiene section, notice the love gloves, and suddenly yell about them then run down the isle. This totally didn't happen to me.
     

    Melody

    Banned
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  • 57: Ladies - Wear a cute outfit with the shortest possible skirt you can buy. Make sure your panties are printed with something really girly, walk around the store and take every opportunity to give passersby panty shots as you "shop".
    Pretend to always be interested in something on the lowest shelf and bend down to examine it for maximum upskirtage. :P

    Don't forget to chew out anyone who complains to you about it. Maintain your "Right to be cute"
    *shot*
     

    The Corrupt Plague

    Missingno. hunter
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  • 58. If you are a guy, then take lots of viagra and walk into the store wearing the smallest and tightest pair of shorts you have. Pretend not to notice if anyone stares or comments.
     

    Melody

    Banned
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  • 63. Go into the electronics section, pretend you're a "Corporate Associate" and install Slackware Linux on all the demo computers. Sit back and enjoy the lulz when the computers fail to sell. Be sure to wipe the "Recovery" partitions off the computers so they can't just go back to windows. XD
     

    Unknown#

    'Cause why not?
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  • 64. Stand at the front of the store and hand out Target giftcards

    65. Run into the Gardening Section and scream "There's people living back here!"
     

    Massacre.

    sky's on fire again
    305
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  • 66. Randomly shout out on the intercom:

    Code Red (store fire)
    Code Blue (bomb threat)
    Code Green (hostage situation)
    Code Black (really freaky weather, like lightning storms every 5 seconds, or fast tornadoes)
    Code Orange (chemical spill, usually dangerous)
    Code White (bad accident)

    And of course, Code ADAM. We all know what that is.
     
    Last edited:

    mew_nani

    Pokécommunity's Licensed Tree Exorcist
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  • What's code ADAM? I forgot that one. :\

    67. Play cowboys and indians with all the employees. Make sure eveybody is armed with whatever weaopns the store has on hand. HAVE FUN!!! :)
     
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