A Pokemon Poem

[darkpokeball]

Half in an egg
Half in battle
the Togepi
plays with Ekans rattle

Ekans got mad
Togepi shivered
Ekans bit the poor lad
and the poision made
poor Togepi quiver

Togepi was sad
The poision hurt him
Ekans, still mad,
tried to rip of it's limb

Togepi cried and Togepi whined
when an old trainer came
saw the Ekans and sighed
"How dumb. How lame."

He captured the Ekans to Togepi's relief
then walked away slowly, his feet
crunching every crisp leaf
Togepi was the sure glad it was a nice
guy to meet

THE END! I know, it stinks, but I'm a beginner!

 

[Scales]

Practice makes perfect. Try doing as many poems as possible till you become fluent in how to make one.

Also, try Rhyming. Rhyme always make a poem far more aesthetically pleasing if done well.

 

[TJgamer]

Various stanzas aren't parallel in this poem. But you're a beginner, so I don't blame you.
Take a look at my first posted poem, The Ghost Lineup (https://www.pokecommunity.com/threads/190163). It's very unimpressive.

 

[darkpokeball]

Practice makes perfect. Try doing as many poems as possible till you become fluent in how to make one.

Also, try Rhyming. Rhyme always make a poem far more aesthetically pleasing if done well.

But I did try rhyming....

@TJ Gamer, this one is a throwaway poem until I get to better works. But, you always have to start somewhere....

 

[Scales]

But I did try rhyming....

Ah I only just noticed it.

Though the structure is a little all over the place. Like here

Half in an egg
Half in battle
the Togepi
plays with Ekans rattle

Egg doesn't rhyme with Togepi. But Battle does with Rattle.

Ekans got mad
Togepi shivered
Ekans bit the poor lad
and the poision made
poor Togepi quiver

Shivered and made don't Rhyme. Shivered and quiver could potentially rhyme if you make Quiver "Quivered"

He captured the Ekans to Togepi's relief
then walked away slowly, his feet
crunching every crisp leaf
Togepi was the sure glad it was a nice
guy he had to meet

Here relief doesn't rhyme too well with leaf. A better word would be something with the same syllables. With feet it rhymes well with meet, but it wasn't very well executed with "Togepi was the sure glad it was a nice Guy he had to meet". It is a run on sentence and is far more effective if shortened. Like "Togepi was glad the man was nice to meet."

Also capitalize the letters at the beginning of lines. Like so.

He captured the Ekans to Togepi's relief
Then walked away slowly, his feet
Crunching every crisp leaf
Togepi was the sure glad it was a nice
Guy he had to meet

You only need to be mindful of punctuation. As you are meant to read it as if there is no line break, like it's a sentence.

 

[Dragonika]

My first attemped :/


Pichu , ran
Pichu , jumped
Pichu leaped at the grunt (Team Rocket )

Then he scratched the grunts face
The grunt ran at a steady pace
And thats how pichu took care of the grunt .


:D Ino im not good haha

Mew glided and flew, as the long dark night grew

He then glanced over to his right, to see such a sight he was flying next to his old pal mewtwo :D

 

[TJgamer]

Their good at the humor part, yet they are a little preposterous.
Yet, you did say you were "not good", and it's your "first attempted" too.
You just need to make more "attempts" and you'll improve.

 

[darkpokeball]

Second attempt, since practice makes perfect:


Although love may float in the air
Love gives me quite a scare
You see, one time, I had a girl
and boy, she was the end of the world

I thought we were good
Like we should
But, she dumped me
Locked my heart
and tossed the key

I'll never give love a second chance
And I'll never give that girl a second glance
Inside, I'm eternally scarred
Inside, I'm taking it hard

THE END! Yay! It still stinks. Now, for my second pokemon poem:


Lugia flying really high
I glance in awe at the sky
I tell you, I saw Lugia, no lie!
It filled me with happiness
though I don't know why

THE END! Short, sweet, and to the point! Still stinks like last night's dirty socks. But, I'm working on it!

 

[TJgamer]

First one, very much improved from your previous ones. It felt a bit catchy to read.
Your second, maybe not as impressive, but certainly not as bad as last night's dirty socks.

 

[darkpokeball]

Wow, I can't believe that dirty socks inspired me:

Fourth attempt! I'm keeping track now!

My poetry stinks like last nights dirty socks.
My poetry talent is held down by a thousand rocks.
Or maybe it was locked away by a million locks.

How am I not improving when I attempt more?
How come each time I shoot, I never seem to score?
How come, in order to not give up, I must fight war?

Under pressure, for poems, I'm looking for inspiration
But, how can I find that in this entire nation?
Maybe I can write about a Haitian.

Argh! My poetry stinks like last night's dirty socks
I crumple up my poetry paper, throw it to the hawks
I watch as they eat it, even the one about small-pox.

THE END! Wow. That does stink like last night's dirty socks. Lol. Well, should I give up or keep going?!

 

[TJgamer]

I definitely say you should keep going.
This one was actually very amusing; I like it.
Writing (and rewriting) is very important in any kind of literature.

 

[darkpokeball]

TJGamer, thanks for the advice. Ahem, fifth attempt:

A thousand curses to you,
for dumping me so unkindly, Sue
Try me again, try to woo

It won't work right now
We got together, but how?!
If I see your face, I'll give it a nice, big POW!

Now, Sue, you dumped me hence
You started me hating you commence
When I think you beautiful, I know it's past tense

Inside you're hideous, ugly, and dumb
Do I love you still.....um....
NO, and you know that out of flavor is this gum

I'll rip your guts out
Or murder you with a clout
And your final expression will be a pout

I'll be taken to trial
I'll be there a while
Watching accuasations pile

Then, I'll end up in jail
But, it's a roof to block out hail
Too bad I've lost my mail

And in the slammer,
I plan to escape
using a nice big hammer
Leaving the guards to gape

Then, I'll come to your grave
I'll teach you to misbehave
Maybe throw a grenade
Then my revenge will be made

THE END! Wow. The teller of the story has literally lost a couple hundred nuts and bolts. And at that "Leaving the guards to gape" I was thinking of an alternate line or so, but it doesn't matter. I wonder if I did good on that one. It's nice, big, and long.

 

[TJgamer]

What you just said in your closing words, I'm in complete agreement.

 

[professor plum]

I'm just poking my head in, but . . Poems don't have to rhyme to be aesthetically pleasing.
Iambic pentameter, internal rhyme scheme, etc.

Read about types of Poetry on Wikipedia, and experiment around XD;

 

[Uzumakiyuubi]

Well, here I go.

The Sun shines with gleams of delight
Every Pokemon and human Gazing at the light
Time pass on and the light withers
And the soul of Pokemon starts to shiver.

Fear and worry starts to come
But the light with rejoice at the sound of some
The cycle continues and continues some more
As every Pokemon and human Startle as the daybreak comes ashore.

Yea... i think it needs some more fixing (I've hardly wrote poems in my life... just read them).

 

[darkpokeball]

Sixth attempt:

Blood trickles down the dying man
To save him, nobody can
His head split open
His wife is hopin'
Someone can save him

His arms are missing
His hands were found
His wife hopes for more kissin'
While his soul is on death's ground

He will die
His soul will go up into the sky
Well, the doctor's can try
But he'll go bye

Tears stream out of his friend's eyes
Him joining the gang wasn't wise
The doctor's are running out of tries
It seems that another one dies

The gang is known
for killing members
Now his wife is alone
He will always be remembered

You may ask "Who is he?"
Well let me tell all
he is really me
and I've suffered a tragic fall

THE END! Wow, it's about a guy joining a gang and getting killed. Poor dude. @Uzamkyabbui, at least you can write better than last night's dirty socks. Keep on moving and you'll improve. @TJGamer, do you mean the closing words in the poem or the closing words in my comments after teh poem? Eh. @Eric Destler, I know it doesn't have to rhyme, but I try to rhyme because well, it makes the poems more catchy and memorable.

 

[TJgamer]

I was meaning the comment that you made after the poem.
And I agree with you. In many cases, I think rhyming is more catchy. Yet, like any poem, it needs to be written with care.
Oh, the poem. It is very bizarre, but not in a bad way.

 

[darkpokeball]

My hundreth attempt due to millions of database errors or keyboard shortcuts:

Weezing slowly floated
to the Driftblim which was bloated
When there, he simply gloated

"I'm the best there is
Undefeated and smart
So here's a pop quiz:
Who's a work of art?"

"I am, that's right.
With a deadly bite
As I drift through the night
My teeth glinting white"

The Driftblim was annoyed at this point
So he led Weezing to a Machamp joint
Weezing was defeated over and over
As Driftblim laughed and picked up a clover

 

[TJgamer]

This may be an understandable poem, but the story is somewhat cheesy.
The rhyming is pretty clever though.

 

[darkpokeball]

@tjgamer, thank you for all the reviews. I appreciate them.

Hundredth and one attempt:

I looked at you
I fell in love
the love is true
one I won't rue

you looked at me
with a look of hate
it stung like a bee
since my love was great

TO BE CONTINUED because I'm using my iPod and it's harder than just using a regular keyboard. Should I create the second part?