Issue: Being Attacked

[Mika]

Geez... I made a really stupid mistake kinda along these lines a month ago. I got really defensive over something really stupid and felt like I was being flamed when in reality it was all a big miscommunication and I put a whole bunch of defensive guards and dug my heels in because I believed I was being treated unfairly. I had a friend pretty much slap me silly and explain that I needed to look at it from a different point of view that wasn't of the "OMG I'M BEING ATTACKED THEY'RE ALL SO MEAN DDDD:<" and when I did that, I felt like a complete and total moron because it was exactly the opposite of what I thought it was. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should try and look at the situation from a different perspective. What you may read as an attack may be someone's way of trying to help. Not everyone is a tact-master, I know I'm not, and people can be really blunt and it caAll sorts of factors can fall into such posts and you can read it really really wrong and again, feel like a total jerk/idiot when people correct you. X3; Try not to get defensive as quickly, it tends to escalate things.

Something else that'll I share with you is to "go up the chain, not across". You're here venting to other ordinary members about being attacked on a thread as opposed to going and venting/speaking to a moderator [who's higher up on the glorious pc food chain than you] and asking for assistance/advice. It may seem less intimidating but there's a problem with this that's more apparent that you might think. If you go across, you can cause more problems than if you just go up the chain of command. Going across is just going to make you frustrated because we're ordinary members like you, we don't have any magical powers to really do anything. If you go up the chain, your chances of getting what you want go up. It's not guarenteed but it'll at least go farther than this will. The mods may seem scary but trust me, they care about this place and they really do mean it when they say they want to make everyone's stay welcoming.

Hopefully some of this mumbo-jumbo helped. I'm not perfect but this is something I can tell you from experience is hard to learn. It's not easy to admit wrong or look at someone else's opinion but it helps. <3

 

[.]

If you start a thread, and you express your opinion, expect to get other people who will try and counter your opinion. They're not 'bad', 'mean', or just plain 'jackasses', but rather regular people.

You CAN say "__ is my opinion, and no one can change it", but you CAN'T expect people to not take offense to that when they're trying to show facts to why your opinion is wrong. If everything was run on opinions, the world would be a mess. Facts hold everything together.

 

[Taemin]

Everything has pretty much been said, so I can say is this-
(if you do come back, and look at this thread again..)

Try to go back and read some of the posts as contructive criticism, and use that to help yourself improve on the story. Instead of just looking at a lot of the posts as people disagreeing, or attacking you, when that wasn't what they were trying to do. Granted, I can't speak for all them, but a lot of times when you have an idea that you really like, and people are telling you how to 'improve' it, it can seem a bit harsh. Still, all they're doing is trying to give you pointers.