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I love your poetry, Mobile. You have a way with words and a way of letting us have a glimpse at the real you. Great job.
 
You think up some pretty cool stuff haha, I liked this one. Good use of Grammar as well.
 
I was pretty impressed with this poem. I thought the rhythm was great, but the last line definitely made the poem excellent, in my opinion. It's always good to have poetry with humor and just general silliness in it. So bravo. You told a story and made in rhyme without seeming like you were trying too hard. :D
 
Feiku said:
I was pretty impressed with this poem. I thought the rhythm was great, but the last line definitely made the poem excellent, in my opinion. It's always good to have poetry with humor and just general silliness in it. So bravo. You told a story and made in rhyme without seeming like you were trying too hard.
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Thanks for commenting. The rhythm, well, if no one's already noticed, this is a six-stanza ballad.
 
I like this. It's good to read lighthearted things every once in a while. Lets me escape the dark things I write.

Nice job.
 
This has to be one of my favorite poems ever ^__^ It was comical, had excellent flow, and a great ending. Excellent poem Mobile.
 
Cute, especially the last line. But I think last line of the fourth stanza would sound better with "should" instead of "ought". :P Otherwise, it was pretty nice!
 
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