Communicating with Sandwiches

[Tek]

When giving feedback to another person, one may choose to use the "sandwich method": you begin with a positive, then present the negatives, and end on a positive. I find this to be a very productive and friendly way of communicating; it brings out responsiveness and positivity in people.

What do you think of this method of communication? Have you heard about it or used it yourself? Is it worthwhile? Are there any downsides?

 

[Somewhere_]

I have heard this is the best way to reject people's offers to go do something or whatever. It may even be good for breaking up with someone, but I haven't personally used this strategy for those purposes. Mostly for just if someone invites me somewhere and I can't go and stuff like that.

I dont think there are any downsides other than you have to be very firm with the negative part, or the other person could take it the wrong way. I think it is a good method of communication if used correctly.

 

[Gulpin]

Oh, I am not a big fan of sandwiches. The only time I've really seen it used is in my flute studio class; after a person played, people would give comments and it seemed almost required for people to give feedback in the fashion of 'positive,' 'negative,' 'positive' because everyone used the method so much. As nice as it sounds for a way of communicating, it really can be completely useless. A lot of times the 'bread,' or positive comments ended up being fruitless things that everyone was praised for; hence, the positive comments weren't really personalized to the individual but were simply thrown in before getting to the actual critiques. This seems to devalue what the person actually did well - for instance, if they actually did something good then its harder to tell if the comment is honest or just thrown in as a piece of bread. Furthermore, the positive comments can often take away from the 'negative' comments, which are the comments that are actually meant to improve the person's skill. Hopefully when having a conversation in which someone is being critiqued, each member should be mature enough to be able to handle criticism and use it constructively. I feel like the excessive use of positive comments can take away from actual constructive criticism. Though, I don't think positive comments should be completely removed from a critique - they just shouldn't be required and should be used only when a person actually showed some type of improvement or skill that should be commended.

 

[Yoshikkko]

yes, i have heard of this method and it's an effective way of making someone feel acknowledged and recognized for the effort they did, while also give them the tools to improve. someone who doesn't feel like their efforts are being recognized won't be as motivated to follow constructive criticism and it works that way for me personally too. i study psychology and for us this is always a required way of giving feedback when needed. the only downside really is that you have to beware your feedback is personal or it'll seem generic and in turn insincere which defeats the whole purpose. but that goes for every type of feedback really. the point is not to give positive feedback for the sake of saying something positive just to outweigh the negative. you give someone positive feedback first to encourage them to keep doing what they're doing. constructive criticism isn't effective when someone doesn't have that confidence.

 

[Esper]

I've never heard of this before, but it seems like it has merits. Only, I think it would depend on the person using it and the person you're trying to speak with. Like, I wouldn't use this with someone I didn't know who I was only speaking to for a minute or two. You know, like when someone asks you how they look. If I don't really know them I'm going to say something generic because they won't really want actual criticism.

 

[twocows]

When giving feedback to another person, one may choose to use the "sandwich method": you begin with a positive, then present the negatives, and end on a positive. I find this to be a very productive and friendly way of communicating; it brings out responsiveness and positivity in people.

What do you think of this method of communication? Have you heard about it or used it yourself? Is it worthwhile? Are there any downsides?

Sounds manipulative. I prefer not to play games to try and influence peoples' opinions. I think what I have to say usually stands on its own weight. If I think there's something that someone can work on, I'll try to be nice about it, sure, but I'll still tell it to them straight.