[PKMN FULL] Cornered On The Market! [T](OOC)

[Jauntier]

❈Forget-Me-Not❈

Your official one-stop shop for all things alluring and attractive.

I really like that this app was written in-character; it had some subtle, funny quirks. Imagining that Rina scrawled on the bottom of the paper another section to describe herself more gave me a laugh.

Your application is pending. There's one inconsistency in the background. Rina says she moved from Farmellow because of finances, but later it seems she attributes it to her studies. Was this intentional, considering this was written in-character?

Are there any spots left?

Please read the first post, and you'll see the answer.

 

[Junier]

I really like that this app was written in-character; it had some subtle, funny quirks. Imagining that Rina scrawled on the bottom of the paper another section to describe herself more gave me a laugh.

Your application is pending. There's one inconsistency in the background. Rina says she moved from Farmellow because of finances, but later it seems she attributes it to her studies. Was this intentional, considering this was written in-character?

Thank you kindly! I'll probably be doing that from now on with my applications.

The inconsistency was intentional but, revisiting it, the mention of studies was more disconnected than I'd like it to be. I'll go back and edit the Background section, make things smoother.

 

[Jauntier]

...

Rina the Chimecho is accepted.

 

[Arsenic]

Applying to: Spirited Away

Name: Kazé (will normally be typed as just Kaze)

Species: Lucario

Gender: Male

Level: 16

Move set: Close Combat, Aura Sphere, Foresight, Quick Attack

Appearance: Kaze is a rather average Lucario, except for having heterochromia with one dark red and one orange eye. He wears a red and black shemagh around his neck.

Personality: Kaze is a rather kind soul, but will do what needs to be done if he has to. He is a gung-ho Lucario and often tries to solve his problems head on. He enjoys making new friends and those he does have he will fight to keep from loosing. Kaze harbors a disliking, some may even say hatred, for fire types as he blames them for the destruction of his home village. He has a moral code on what he feels is right or wrong, and he tries his hardest to do good where he can.
History:
Kaze was born in a small village started in the wilds. His parents had him train daily to learn the skills they were taught as children, such as being agile, fighting true and doing what he felt was right. While not training he would either study, or go and put his skills to use by helping forage for foods that they could not grow. He also volunteered multiple times to help others who had gotten into a bit of trouble, be it a fight they couldn't win, stuck, or any other inconvenience.

A couple months ago, a roaming group of criminals, mostly comprised of fire types, attempted to raid his village of all valuables. They botched their operation and the village burned down in the chaos. Few people made it out. Kaze had heard of a city run by pokemon, so he salvaged what he could, including his red shemagh and went on his way.

Kaze arrived near the time of the summer festival, and with what little money he had to his name, managed to rent a tiny little hotel room to call his own for a while. But he would need money to keep it that way. Luckily for him a corner store was hiring, and as he saw it, with the summer festival coming up, he had a good chance to at least land a seasonal position. Working for a corner store had to be easier than what he had been through after all. . .

 

[Jauntier]

I will have the history finished tomorrow after work, but cannot stay up any later to finish it tonight.

Quote me when you have completed your application and then I will review it in its entirety. Thank you for your time.

 

[Arsenic]

Quote me when you have completed your application and then I will review it in its entirety. Thank you for your time.

Uh. Quoted quote.

Finished my application. Please judge thy work.

 

[Jauntier]

Applying to: Spirited Away

Before I even go into the technical aspects, I'm going to do a quick exercise with you.

I'm going to ask a question as Castiel. I want you to respond as Kazé would:

"Another Lucario, I see... So I've looked over your papers, and I have to ask: What are your weaknesses? And if you tell me "Fire" or "I work too hard," these papers are going where those answers belong: in this stinky little garbage can."

 

[Arsenic]

Before I even go into the technical aspects, I'm going to do a quick exercise with you.

I'm going to ask a question as Castiel. I want you to respond as Kazé would:

"Another Lucario, I see... So I've looked over your papers, and I have to ask: What are your weaknesses? And if you tell me "Fire" or "I work too hard," these papers are going where those answers belong: in this stinky little garbage can."

Fair enough. Good sign already that my writing skills have deteriorated into a fine mush.

"Well ya don't gotta be so mean about it..." Kazé said scratching the back of his head "I'd first say I'm a lotta sensitive to being yelled at.... But I try ta keep that to myself..." He pauses to think "I guess I would say I also am not as good or smart as people around the city parts, but I'm good at moving stuff and talking to people My last thingy I think is that I was know to soooometimes not listen to people or do what I'm told, but I promise that won't happen! 'specially cause I really need the job! Not that I'm desperate for work of course! Aha ha..... Oh and I guess I've been told that I can lack confidence at times, but I'm working to fix that all the time!" He finishes, clearing his throat than smiling nervously at the owner.

 

[Jauntier]

Fair enough.

Alright, thank you.

The reason I did this little exercise with you is mainly because I needed more dimension for your character's personality, and I know that sometimes a character can't be wholly realized without some interaction in-character.

These admitted faults round him out more. You know, as an employer, they like getting told that their potential hire is outgoing and kind and disciplined. This is not a bad thing, but even you admitted that your character was "good all the time" and needed to offset that with some non sequitur mischief to keep from having it "get boring."

I implore you to review your character's personality again and then give me a good mix like you've just done with this exercise. You can also read the applications of your other potential teammates, Greiger and STARDU5T, for a feel of their characters, and to see if what you come up with doesn't step on their toes in terms of being too similar. I'm not demanding you do a complete make over, but how far you want to go to create a role is your business.

(If it helps or inspires you in some way, my two characters Castiel and Amaryllis are complete parodies of my personal traits. That made it easy for me.)

That's that. Now, the technical:

We can't have a mention of a canon place, like Eterna. I suppose it's my fault for not making that clear. The reason being is that it sets Jubilee in a region--in this case, Sinnoh. For your character to travel to this Pokemon town, it'd have to be somewhere in that region, keeping it reasonable. That's why I've had the option for other neighboring, human-abandoned towns or wild areas, to keep where Jubilee is ambiguous and to give you guys the opportunity to make up a backstory that's a little more free.

All in all, quote me when you finish touching up your app, and I'll give it another review. If you have any questions or concerns while you are doing it, don't hesitate to approach me.

 

[Arsenic]

-snip-

Hopefully I have fixed everything.

 

[Jauntier]

Hopefully I have fixed everything.

Your application is pending.

It's getting there.

Since you basically kept what I'll call the "positives" of your character's personality the same, I will address the major inconsistency it has kept:

You cannot have an honorable, noble, disciplined character who outright rejects those values, because "being good all the time does get boring though." Even more drastic, you cannot have an honorable, noble, and disciplined character who blatantly acted to the contrary of his own parents' teachings and fled them. You could claim this crossed his "strong moral ground", but it only reads as a teenage or young adult character with some angst toward his parents, seeing as you admitted he can hardly take scolding well, and they've done nothing but be stern in trying to instill those values.

Turning this entire inconsistency to your advantage though, an angst-filled, ambivalent teen who can't take criticism or instruction well, but is forced to find a job to support himself because he's a runaway in spite of his parents is a completely fine and welcomed twist. That is an angle you can take and can make work, especially since during the course of our exchange, you've shown me that you personally can serve up snark, if just a bit self-deprecating. But I like that. I like that. I want that, mate.

What do you say? Can you make it work? Like I said before, I'm available via PM if you've more questions on what I've just said. I implore you to ask.

 

[Junier]

incoming shitpost

Spoiler:

"AND THE BIGGEST DRAMA QUEEN OF 2015 AWARD GOES TO..."

 

[Jauntier]

Hopefully I have fixed everything.

Your recent update has been accepted.

incoming shitpost

No, no, this thread is only for Cornered!-related talk.

Not well-deserved mockery.

Thank you.

 

[Junier]

YOU INSENSITIVE PRICK. ARE YOU EMO OR GRUNGE??

In other Cornered!-related talk, I sort of miss Rouge. I had extended plans for her.

In other, other Cornered!-related talk, I hope more people join because I have even more planned for Rina!

 

[Jauntier]

I'm clearly grunge. Look at my purple starry bath robe. It screams Nirvana.

Well, we'll see. People said they found the idea interesting. That said, it doesn't mean most people are willing to join something that isn't the typical type of role-play, so they stave off in favor of some big journey role-play modeled after the franchise. Formula is my competition.

If in two weeks I don't get another three fitting applications, I'll have to scrap everything and take this idea elsewhere, in truth.

 

[Junier]

Now, now. Don't lie to yourself, you know who you really are: an elitist.

Familiar territory is familiar. Though, honestly, this roleplay isn't some big step-up from the sandbox, free-roam journey tales that seem to be all over the place here. The only aspect that may be difficult to adjust to would be posting requirements. Sandbox RPs, you post and interact whenever you can or whenever you feel like it. In a roleplay like this, your posts are more continual and expected. That would definitely intimidate more lax members of the RP board, or those that "just can't commit, can't find the time!"

But hopefully Cornered! will get more applicants. This roleplay really could be a blast as long as people are willing to apply themselves and think out of the box.

 

[Jauntier]

Nothing elite about my utter perfection.

Well, no, but there's only so much you can do in a medium such as this. Without completely introducing a new system of interaction or demanding a specific mode of writing, this is as "novel" as it gets, by comparison. But you are right about time. I only figured that because this started during the time when people are getting back into the routine of things with education or work, they could spare a couple posts every so often within the week, as scheduled as it is the rest of their days. I just don't know if this is neither the time nor place yet.

I will sit and wait. Conversation in this thread keeps my role-play visible up top on the board to those perusing. That's advertisement enough. I'm not feeling down about it, I'm just observing, speculating.

I'll be able to draw those things again, very soon. Hurrah for reintroducing art into the mix.

 

[Evyl]

I hope people join your RP, Jauntier! It's going to be lots of fun and I hope it kicks off because it's going to be lots of fun!

 

[Junier]

BREN-BREN

Jaunt, you're as perfect as my legible font choice

Yeah, again, if people just apply themselves everything'll be fine.

Get down on your knees LET'S HAVE A CONVERSATION, THEN. Bring the pics back! I assume we won't be building the same things as last time.

Also for some reason the Chimecho sprite in my signature isn't showing up for me. Yesterday it was fine. My fault or PC's? Can ya'll see it?

 

[Evyl]

Disclosed, I think we should respect Jauntier's wishes and only have serious discussion about Cornered, the RP this thread is about. I look forward to RPing with you!