Darkai corrupted world

[jakex]

As ash ran fast, and stopped off the cliff. he stared at the region."ahh another region" said ash. He had just finished the sinnoh region. "pika pikachu" said pickachu. 'what is it" screamed ash. Then his eyes went wide open. A black looking thing was floating around capturing pokemon and making them dissapear.Pickachu and ash came together and yelled fusion. They turned to pickachu but was at one. Pickachu went for a volt tackle

ending

will ash attack go through.. they tune for the next pokemon.. dark void series

 

[Nikko.Ideator]

The concept is too short, and could be portrayed longer. Add more detail. Also, grammar is your friend. On fanfiction, accept that your grammar is one of the most important parts of writing, if you want to look good.

C H E C K Y O U R W O R K

 

[aceupthesleeve]

You need to both extend the length of the chapter and be sure to read over your work before posting. Perhaps writing it up in a program like Microsoft Word before posting will help, the spell check can pick up what you have not.

Also, dont just say what the attack's name is, describe the actual attack; description is always an important aspect in any writers work.

 

[Astinus]

This story does not reach the length requirements or quality standards of Pokemon Fanfiction. Please read the stickied guides in the Lounge, other stories, and especially the rules before posting again in this section, to avoid another closed thread.