Depression...

Missingno Baby

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    Once again, depression strikes me...

    I feel like I've been robbed of my personality, or that I don't mean anything. I have had depression since last September. Being here...in this world, is only making me feel worse. All I want to do is be with the person that means the most to me...but I can't.

    Everything seems to only be getting worse for me. Even if I do something that I like for a little while, like paint a picture or write a story, everything goes wrong and I feel sick, like I'm going to die really soon.

    Yes, I'm on medication, and depression like this only strikes me a few times within a few weeks...I used to have a councilor for school, but now, I don't.

    I think I am not just depressed, but mentally ill, too.

    Are you guys like me?
     
    Actually, I have clinical long-term, so it doesn't just happen once...

    I hardly want to go places, and when I read or hear about certain things, I start crying, really hard...
     
    I have on and off depression...not very ofter, like once or two times a month...where I feel insignificant and unwanted.... ._. *sigh* Hope you overcome yours!
     
    I don't suffer from depression per se. When someone around me, like you, feels this bad, I begin to exibite the same feelings. I feel what you feel. So, if you ever wish to talk about something, I am willing to listen and try to make you cheer up...or if you just want to talk in general. I want to help out the best I can. So, I'm just a PM away. It is all your choice, though.
     
    Awwwz...your poor thing. ;3; *huggles* I've experienced depression a few times, so I know how bad it feels. >__>;; I'm really, really, really bad emotionally wise, so I get easily upset when I'm alone, people arent talking to me, someone yells at me, etc. I basically get upset when someone else is upset, and start crying. o__o; I also get worried easily, too. Call it anxiety, I guess, but it eventually leads to depression in my case. Mine only happens for about two days, though. I'm sorry you have to go through this. n___n;; *huggles*
     
    I've had it chronically since March 2004, you're not alone, it got really bad for me until April this year, I had to keep myself away from pills and knives and stuff... *hugs* I know how it feels to be so lost, I can't say much as I'm not good at consoling but I'm going to pray for you, praying has helped my friends and myself many times. =/
     
    Aww, poor you.. -huggles- It somewhat happens to me, at LEAST once a week... I just feel I'm un-wanted, and just plain darn upset...And, when I read things like this, my depression kicks in for a bit...
     
    It's all in the head, you say your depressed and mentaly ill, but I think you just need someone to talk to. Not a councilor per say but someone you can trust and someone that is close to you. Don't go through this alone, that will only make things worse. Try doing aerobic activities or find a new hobby. Depression sucks, I don't have it but I have been deeply depressed. Hope you find a cure for your depression.
     
    Overlord Sato said:
    It's all in the head, you say your depressed and mentaly ill, but I think you just need someone to talk to. Not a councilor per say but someone you can trust and someone that is close to you. Don't go through this alone, that will only make things worse. Try doing aerobic activities or find a new hobby. Depression sucks, I don't have it but I have been deeply depressed. Hope you find a cure for your depression.
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    Of course it's in the head, it's a non-psychotic mental illness.
     
    is there any reason that you're depressed?? i was pretty down at the beginning of freshman year... but i'm not normally depressed. then my girlfriend dumped me for one of my best friends, my granddad died, a friend commited suicide, all of my middle school friends went to a different school, and i wasn't adjusting well to the new school environment. so, yes, i've experienced depression too. but i've never known what it's like to feel depression that is apparantly unprovoked... that's probably worse huh? because there's no issue that you need to try to get over; just over yourself. you've gotta know that life will get better, maybe not immediatly, but i'd be willing to bet that by the end of highschool things are better. if you compare your problems with other much more significant ones around the world, things might seem better. kinda dillute your sorrow? i dunno if that works, i'm not a psychologist...
     
    Ahh...you poor thing dont worry we all here at poke community will always be at your side!
     
    I do get hit with periods of depression every so often. Though usually it does get pretty bad, it only lasts for a max of two or three days. In fact I just got out of one of my worst episodes yet. I just wanted to die, I felt like there was nothing left for me. I felt as though the sky was falling and everyone was pointing fingers at me. Not to mention just overall stress that piles up can only make matters worse. ><;

    I guess I've always kind of had periods of depression, since I was little even, but when I was young it might only be for a few minutes...but as I grew older the periods of depression came more frequently and for longer periods of time. Only recently, about early June 2005 or so, have they been getting really bad and happening every other week or so.

    I have to say I would never be able to have survived this long without one special person in my life. That person knows who they are and I thank them for all they've done for me, for that person was the only one who I felt I could turn to without being rejected...and in turn that person gave me the comfort I needed. It always helps to have a friend when your emotions go all topsy-turvy on ya. XD

    ~Kelsey
     
    Typhlozion said:
    I do get hit with periods of depression every so often. Though usually it does get pretty bad, it only lasts for a max of two or three days. In fact I just got out of one of my worst episodes yet. I just wanted to die, I felt like there was nothing left for me. I felt as though the sky was falling and everyone was pointing fingers at me. Not to mention just overall stress that piles up can only make matters worse. ><;

    I guess I've always kind of had periods of depression, since I was little even, but when I was young it might only be for a few minutes...but as I grew older the periods of depression came more frequently and for longer periods of time. Only recently, about early June 2005 or so, have they been getting really bad and happening every other week or so.

    I have to say I would never be able to have survived this long without one special person in my life. That person knows who they are and I thank them for all they've done for me, for that person was the only one who I felt I could turn to without being rejected...and in turn that person gave me the comfort I needed. It always helps to have a friend when your emotions go all topsy-turvy on ya. XD

    ~Kelsey
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    *hugs* I never knew you had the same feelings, Kelseymuffin-chan. ;-; But yeah, you feel like you're just losing grip on everything, like there's only darkness and no light to reach out to, like there's nothing left any more to live for. Recently, to the contrary, I've been pulling out of the cycle, as I fell back into it after... incidents. I resumed my constant fantasies of death and destruction. Just forever wishing I would die, like it would end all the pain. I wondered if it would help, what it would be like to die... just lying awake, driven frantic, and scared like hell of myself and these thoughts. There have been times where I have seriously considered taking my own life by knife, or overdosing on pills. I've had to keep myself away from them. The last spark of reality in me, the last bit of rationality, was saying "What the hell are you thinking?" and these long, lonely nights were something I dreaded, when the sun set I would just ache even worse; there was this feeling of an ongoing, terrible, dull, not acute but it hurt so badly, pain; and it got worse at night, I would just dread night and going to bed.
     
    Kylie-chan said:
    *hugs* I never knew you had the same feelings, Kelseymuffin-chan. ;-; But yeah, you feel like you're just losing grip on everything, like there's only darkness and no light to reach out to, like there's nothing left any more to live for. Recently, to the contrary, I've been pulling out of the cycle, as I fell back into it after... incidents. I resumed my constant fantasies of death and destruction. Just forever wishing I would die, like it would end all the pain. I wondered if it would help, what it would be like to die... just lying awake, driven frantic, and scared like hell of myself and these thoughts. There have been times where I have seriously considered taking my own life by knife, or overdosing on pills. I've had to keep myself away from them. The last spark of reality in me, the last bit of rationality, was saying "What the hell are you thinking?" and these long, lonely nights were something I dreaded, when the sun set I would just ache even worse; there was this feeling of an ongoing, terrible, dull, not acute but it hurt so badly, pain; and it got worse at night, I would just dread night and going to bed.
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    You probably never noticed it before in me...because I tend to hide behind a fake smile. Do you know how simple it is to just slap a happy looking smilie down in a post? Even if you're trying to be depressing as Hell? No one notices...no one cares, because what do they really know about you? Nothing at all.

    I too have wondered what it would be like to die...to end it all. Though I've only contemplated taking my own life one or two times...it scared the living Hell out of me. How could I be thinking like that? Am I going insane? These thoughts swarm through my mind like and unwanted group of locusts. xX; Though I know, deep down, that I would never do something so heinous as taking my own life...it frightens me that I even considered it in the first place.

    There's so much to life, even if you can't see it now, I believe everyone has a purpose. Funny how contradicting that statement is...when just a few days ago I was crying my eyes out, just wanting to know why I was even placed on this earth. I've tried talking to my mom about it...but she only worsens the situation, so I've stopped turning to her. I'm sure many people know what it feels like to have no one to turn to...there's no one who really understands what the person is going through. They might say they do, but words are only second best to actual real-life perceptions. --;

    And I too dread the time when I'm sent off to bed. The reasoning for that is...that's the time when all of my worries and stresses and thoughts come crashing into me all at once. Whereas during the day I have other things distracting me from my worries, so they get surpressed until the day's end.

    Annnd...this is probably really depressing for anyone who's reading the posts in this thread...XD But suddenly, I don't care about what other people think. XP *huggles Ky-Ky* I guess it's just nice to know that I'm not the only one who's felt this way before...^^;

    ~Kelsey
     
    Lol, I know depressions quite well. Tch, I've had one an' it lasted for 2 years. I felt like I wanted nothin' outta life, no happiness, I couldn'teven cry an' even got suicidal at one point. O_O
    After it passed away the on an' off depression yar describin' got ta me an' although I wasn't sad anymore I wasn't happy either. Lol, I'd given up hope that I'd ever feel happiness until I found this place, yup, as strange as it may seem this place cured me.
    I haven't known any friends that liked pkmn in years an' I gusee this place just overjoyed me with happiness. ^^;;
    Tch, in the end tha cure proved ta be the exact thing that ppl've been tellin' me for years -- find somethin' that ya really like an' makes ya happy. Tch, once it occupies yar life tha depression an' all its residual numb-ness'll go away. ^_~
     
    I'm really depressed inside, but it's probably just teen angst kicking in. Koi_Rebekka, your going to be alright. You know why? I have faith that this depression or mental illness your experiencing is going to get up and get out of your life, you are the one that has to make it better though. Happiness will just not sit around and wait to be embraced, you've got to go after it. You probably don't know what the heck i'm talking about but yeah, you'll be fine.
     
    Yeh, ya said it right. Tch, so many told t ta me an' I refused ta listen an' never sought anythin' ta make me happy, I don't think I could've thought of anything of such in that state of mind either, depression can really cloud yar mind when it comes ta things that can make ya happy, I found this place by pure accident. XD
     
    I've suffered from depression constant for about 4 - 5 years now, im currently on medication for it, also for my Panic Attacks and OCD, you're not alone, and I know how bad everything can get, trust me it will be okay, you have to think positive, its almost impossible, but its people "like us" that are stronger, and >>when<< you get over it, you'll be a much stronger person, you'll learn from how you've felt, depression comes upon us and hits us worse if we're very intact with are emotions, people may see that as a bad thing, but its not. It means your sensative, and will always be aware of others feelings from experience of your own.


    My life is difficult, and im not one of those people who thinks its oh so cool that most things in my life are even impossible to actually get over, i've gone through months of my life not leaving the house, i've stopped eating for weeks, I have really bad sleeping patterns, I only get about 3 hours sleep anight, and that doesn't help with depression.


    My life is restricted, I find it hard to go out in cars, I can't even think about going on public transport, I can just about get an hour away from where I live, and because of all my problems, i've been taken out of school, That must have been at 2 years ago now, and it looks like i'll never go back to school. People get the wrong idea about me, i've always been a non-conformist, i've always been a freak, but i've also got this **** to lug around with me.

    People don't understand what I have to go through, they don't get it, that I find it hard just to put one step out of my house.. at one point I felt I was a bad person, and i'd brung this all on myself, I used to cut myself, once I did really to badly, and I cannot go through all that again, I cannot help the way I am, I've had strong thoughts about suicide for a very long time now, and I even tried, but I couldn't do it. I know now that I don't need to destroy myself to make me better.
    People dislike me, my whole town is it against me, they think im to "diffrent" to be excepted, and Im past caring now. It makes me feel sick to go into my town, people stare at me, call me names..
    I have a mental illness, but that doesn't mean I should be treated like this, yes I haven't got a broken leg, or im in a wheel chair but its just as difficult for me as somone who has physical pain in there life...every single day.


    You need to keep positive, do whatever you can to help yourself, don't worry what everyone else thinks, everyone suffers from depression from time to time, and it does pass.
     
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    STOP TAKIN' MEDICATIONS! They wear out tha moment ya stop takin' 'em, they've got side-effects, an' once yar brain starts gettin' used ta 'em ya'll need more an' more.
    Think 'bout somethin' ya've always wanted ta do that would make ya happy but I mean REALLY happy an' do it. Try an' make friends an' sociallize while doin' that.
    Yeah, ppl don't give a dan 'bout how painful depression is. Wow, 4-5 years is a long time, how/why'd ya get inta it?
    Tch. The only thing that can reallycure this after such a long time is a surge o' happiness, so give it yar best shot at it. Sometimes in depressions it's hard ta think of anything that makes ya happy an' things that used ta make ya happy don't appeal so much anymore but tha mind is wrong 'cuz if ya do 'em ya'll see they can still make ya happy.
    As for diseases, well my depression got so bad that I've been "blessed" with psoryazis an' whenever I tire my brain out or have a fight with someone spots appear on my skin an' they itch like hell! >_<
     
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