Depression...

It was a joke..try and lighten the thread up abit..jeese
 
*long post/boring ramble about my pathetic life alert*

Hm... I too get depressed often. Like Typhlozion said, it's so easy to hide behind smilies and such on the internet. I've probably made lots of people think I'm a crazy, carefree person with fake world domination dreams. Even my friends in real life, I've tried to hide my depression from them with "randomness". I don't know, maybe it's because I think I'm just overreacting. Maybe I feel that there's no right for me to complain about my life, knowing that many people have it worse than me. I mean, people look at me and see a girl that has her own computer, iPod, biggest room in her house, has both parents alive and undivorced... they must think I'm the luckiest person in the world. Though, on the inside I feel alone and scared, like there's no one who I can really come to for comfort. On the inside I feel ugly and stupid, I feel like everyone hates me, I feel like there's no one on earth I can really trust. The majority of my friends in elementary school left me for one reason or another. One person had bought a pokemon silver version game. I told him I had a player's guide and I gave him hints and told him how to get through puzzles and stuff. We became very good friends, always sitting together at lunch and discussing all sorts of things - not just pokemon. However, after he beat his silver version he just seemed annoyed with me. He didn't want to talk any more. After a while I stopped trying to talk to him. I came to realize that I was just being used by someone. He didn't really care about me, he just wanted my help on a game. I felt stupid for ever trusting someone like that.
In fourth-fifth grade I had a couple of friends, female friends who were into fashion. One of them once asked me why no one really wants to talk to me. I said I didn't know; she asked them at lunch one day and told me it was because I was weird. No one wanted to talk to me because I was some weird little girl who played Pokemon in the fifth grade. However, those two-three friends continued to hang out with me regardless of the fact that I was 'weird'. Until middle school, that is. All of my friends had moved on and found 'cooler' people to be friends with. They started treating me like crap, asking me annoying questions like where I got my pants and stuff.
I have managed to find three very good friends that I've been with since mid sixth-grade. These are the ONLY three people at my school I feel thoroughly comfortable around. They don't care that I like Pokemon; in fact one of them plays it herself ^^. However, when I'm not around these two people I again start to feel lost, like I'm all alone. I feel awkward around other people, like I don't belong with them. It's almost like I'm a scared little animal in a room full of people; I'm afraid they want to hurt me so I try my best to hide myself from them. It's instinct for me to want to hide from them almost. I find it extremely hard to find a group in a group project, or even to trade papers with other people. I'm still asked questions like "Why are you so weird?" and "Why don't you ever talk to anyone?" the only thing I can manage to say to them is "I don't know." I know it's stupid, but every time I'm asked that I feel more and more like I truly don't belong here. Like I'm an outsider. Like I'm some sort of freakish monster that everyone hates. I know on the outside I'm all "OMGLOLWEIRDISFUNANDCOOLLOLZLOLZLOLZ" but on the inside I really do feel like 'weird' is a bad thing, like if you're 'weird' there's no hope for you in life, you'll never amount to anything if people think you're different. I have only my three best friends to really turn to for comfort, and I can't explain how I feel even to them. However, when eighth grade ends one of them is going back to pakistan and the other MIGHT be going to a different high school again. I guess I should enjoy the time I have left with them; when high school comes I'll probably be alone again.

Sometimes I feel like I have some sort of mental disorder as well. And I also often wonder if anyone would even be affected if I were to just disappear; if I were to die tomorrow, would anyone care? Sometimes I feel like I just want someone to listen to this and tell me what's wrong with me; I know I'm the only one who can change my life, but I don't even know where to start. I would be ashamed to tell my parents all this as well. *sigh* what can I do?

--

I'm sorry for the long post, but I must admit, it felt good to get all this off my chest. I just wonder if anyone's actually going to read this post XD. Just so you know, you aren't alone in your depression :P
 
Last edited:
I do belive i've found my Female Counterpart...Except, Im far from Care-free.
 
22sa, it's not funny... >.> Don't laugh at my depression, if you had it I could laugh at yours but I wouldn't [assuming you don't have it].
Yeah, you really aren't alone, that's the beauty of PC.
 
Depression....yep been through it too many times...PC is pretty much a bunch of depressed adolescents...sad, but true. I was actually suicidal a bit, but it was long ago. I'm glad I got over it, and I'm my stupid self again. ^_^
 
XD and we love you all the same, Eli. PC wouldn't be the same without you~
Meh, I had visions of cutting myself last night, I can hardly say I'm better...
 
o_o I hope you're okay...I am againt cutting completely...
 
Kylie-chan said:
22sa, it's not funny... >.> Don't laugh at my depression, if you had it I could laugh at yours but I wouldn't [assuming you don't have it].
Yeah, you really aren't alone, that's the beauty of PC.
Click to expand...
I didn't laugh at your depression, look what I quoted again. :\ It was funny because your [depressed] imagination sounded exactly like mine, yet it still looks nonsensical to me.... o_o

....and, uh.... unfortunately, I'm just as much a depressed type as the rest of you if not worse. d= I just didn't bother describing it this time, but I did make some brief comments on it in my post. Back in late 2003, I was practically the only depressed active member, now there's so many. x_x.... hmm ^^

Last thing, I'd be glad I was laughed at for my depression, in fact that's about the only good it ever did as I mentioned before in this thread. d= But yeah, I wasn't laughing at yours, not on the whole at least. x_x :P

um YAY, Eliana! ^^ I guess that's an accomplishment. d=
 
Last edited:
Koi_Rebekka said:
Once again, depression strikes me...

I feel like I've been robbed of my personality, or that I don't mean anything. I have had depression since last September. Being here...in this world, is only making me feel worse. All I want to do is be with the person that means the most to me...but I can't.

Everything seems to only be getting worse for me. Even if I do something that I like for a little while, like paint a picture or write a story, everything goes wrong and I feel sick, like I'm going to die really soon.

Yes, I'm on medication, and depression like this only strikes me a few times within a few weeks...I used to have a councilor for school, but now, I don't.

I think I am not just depressed, but mentally ill, too.

Are you guys like me?
Click to expand...

Awww, babes don't worry you aren't the only one. All I want to do is be with the person that means the world to me, but i can't either.. People tell me it'll get better but my depression keeps coming back, and sometimes I feel like ending it all but i know it's just a shortcut and i think of all the people i hurt [i've tried -- with a failed attempt and i will never try again] I don't think you are mentally ill, because most of my friends are like this. I'm not on medication because i dont believe in it, and i hide my depression from others. But, don't worry *hugs* In time..
 
Whenever I go without enough protein for an hour, I get cranky and depressed...everything upsets me...i'm sorry to hear that you're depressed..
 
Something really bad happened the other day, my brother's very best friend John beat him up, he honestly didn't mean to do that to him. The next day John cut his wrist in attempt to kill himself, evidently it failed. His sister entered into the room, if she hadn't caught him he would probably cut himself deeper. I couldn't stop thinking about him, and when I do my eyes overflow with tears. I couldn't eat, I could hardly get any sleep, I can't think right at all..... He told his mom to get him professional help because he hurts so much and he doesn't wanna hurt anyone again... I don't know if that's depression but I don't care..... Sorry if this is the wrong place for me to talk...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top