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Frostweaver

Ancient + Prehistoric
  • 8,246
    Posts
    20
    Years
    Writing style is a strange thing...

    I never understand how did Shakespear get away with all those grammar mistakes, yet our english teachers slaughter us if we dare to screw around with the english grammar... So that I don't know how it works myself.

    I'm pretty sure that 95% of the people here disagree with me on that post, saying how "well that's certainly not what I have in my mind when I'm trying to write." Well just because that's what you think, that isn't really what is truly going on. It happens just naturally, because the concept of Communication and expression of ideas are so dwelled in human natures since the Creation that we can do some of these stuff by heart without realizing that is what we are doing.

    If you must insist on leaving, that's fine with me... but we will always look forward to you changing your mind, or coming back in the close/distant future to take on the world of writing again.

    Final word of wisdom: best to learn to adapt to unexpected successes and failures quickly... in the online world you can always escape your admittance to defeat by logging off, yet should your future employer give you a crushing defeat in your career in real life, there is no shutdown button... Success isn't about what we can do or accomplish, but how we handle the daily matters and the daily changes in every day life, with defeat being a necessary step to success.
     

    Yamato-san

    Banned
  • 446
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • Age 37
    • Seen Feb 15, 2012
    Frostweaver's right. I write PMC because I enjoy the story I planned, and I wish for others to view it. I admit, I can be a bit of a braggart whenever it seems successfull, but that's because I'm happy so many are reading.

    BTW, my fic is free for analysis. It's most likely greatly suited for demonstration on how scripts should be written.
     

    Frostweaver

    Ancient + Prehistoric
  • 8,246
    Posts
    20
    Years
    Yes I know it's perfect material for scriptfic as well... but then I actually need to read further to decide on making it a demonstration though ^^; actually, mostly hoping to see a long Pokemon battle scene first or just something that's action packed (aka something that's *very* difficult to demonstrate in a dialogue-dominated style of writing). I considered between either PMC or ToR, and I chose ToR just because

    a) May is in it =D

    b) more writers write in this format more than script, so generally more will benefit

    c) May is in it *biased*

    d) though both fanfics have done this very well, ToR shows tone more clearly though. ToR just got more characters than PMC, so the difference in tone between every character is more clearly shown... not a fault of PMC, but just that ToR got more characters.

    e) May is in it like, oh my goodness!

    f) ... I think i said it already, didn't I?

    Of course ToR will be *even* better if Haruka replaces May... I mean, obviously Haruka can play a better role than May!


    EDIT: of course you should be happy that someone is reading your fanfic... but just where is this on your priority list that matters

    And a bit more about "acceptance" of writing style...

    "To be or not to be, that is a grammatically incorrect question."
     

    Yamato-san

    Banned
  • 446
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • Age 37
    • Seen Feb 15, 2012
    Trials of Reluctance (that is what ToR stands for, right?) is not a true script, though, so it'd be pointless to analyze it as one. And what is with you and the bias..... wait, is this about May, or the fact that my story uses Japanese names and you don't want to alienate anyone?
     

    Dragonfree

    Teh Spwriter. :3
  • 1,290
    Posts
    20
    Years
    Oh geeze...

    I write because I want to write. I post my work because I want reviews. I want reviews because I want to write better. When I get a review, I rewrite what I have. I try to polish it to perfection. Why can't you just do that? Rewrite a bit?

    Really... you should see Farla at FanFiction.Net. Just look at her reviews! She would pick on every sentence, every line, every plot point. And do you know why I asked her to review my fic? After seeing the way she reviews?

    Because she can seriously tell you what to improve. Even if she says a lot of things rather nastily, she says them, and that's what is important. She's like the finest filter to put a story through to achieve as much perfection as possible. Her reviews hurt, but they're worth it if you only have the guts to read them, see her points and improve upon them. Look, my fic is highly praised. Farla says it has "one of the most poorly thought-out plots she has ever seen". And am I just going to curl up in a corner and delete my fic? No way! I'll ask her what she means exactly, and try to improve it.

    You want your fic to be good? Accept your reviews, learn from them, and have some determination to do better. You'll never succeed at anything this way.
     

    Yamato-san

    Banned
  • 446
    Posts
    19
    Years
    • Age 37
    • Seen Feb 15, 2012
    hey, earlier it was brought up that I'm not really good at word-usage in certain situations, so..... would someone like to volunteer as my beta or whatever you call them?

    Please remember, though, my descriptions are quick and simple to read, I intend to keep them that way, so no lengthy metaphors and all that crap. Also, I don't go through the trouble of describing the appearance of existing Pokemon or characters. I figure since the readers are fans of the franchise anyway, they'd know what they look like, or at least know how to look them up and search for a picture of them.
     

    Strawberry Delcatty

    Neko daisuki-na no nya!
  • 752
    Posts
    19
    Years
    frostweaver said:
    of course you should be happy that someone is reading your fanfic... but just where is this on your priority list that matters
    I'll admit that it's the second thing on the list (first is trying to get the chapter done as quickly as possible)

    I'll also admit that I don't take kinda to some criticism (especially if it's harsh).

    The thing is that I'm so used to being praised to death. When I have something I'm proud of, I just expect the same reaction from everyone. So, that's pretty much the top reason I put HMW here. I do have a tendancy to brag about everything that goes well and get ticked off at those who don't support me.

    When I read Frosty's reviews, I thought that if he didn't like HMW, then everyone else would steer clear from it since he's the most popular reviewer around. The 71 I coped with a bit better (although there was some things that I don't understand about it). The 65, however, was totally unacceptable. To me, the score said "Get that stupid fic out of here. No one wants to read a fic with a score this bad". And yet, when I take a peek into the thread, everyone seems to like it (although most of them were just "I like it" comments, which are the comments that I'm used to getting).

    I do write just to write, but at the same time, I thought that a little recognition wouldn't hurt. Unfortunately, as time went by, the recognition desire overshadowed the other.

    Basically, the reason I write now is to become this famous writer that always gets high scores and lots of praise. Sure, it feels good when it does happen, but when constructive criticism comes by, I can't handle it well.

    Now, after rereading those comments a few times, I realized that I was wrong. I'm very sorry if I had offended anyone by my comments.
     

    Breezy

    Eee.
  • 454
    Posts
    19
    Years
    Actually, if you do have a low score, most readers usually will flock over to fics that have "low score" to see if it deserves it or not, unlike high scores where you know that there isn't much need to look if it's good or not. People like reading bad over good sadly (which must be the reason why everyone reads my crappy stories ^_^).

    I know how it feels to be praised and then get a construtive review lol. I think my first one was from . . . Farla. She told me I rushed at the end and the dialogue ruined the tone, plus oodles more! ~.^

    LaTeR dAyZ!

    "People ask for criticism, but they only want praise." - W. Somerset Maugham
     

    Frostweaver

    Ancient + Prehistoric
  • 8,246
    Posts
    20
    Years
    I choose to analyze ToR not because I want to review a scriptfic, but rather for...

    -study of tone
    -study of characterization
    -study of support characters/minor characters' contribution to the story
    -study of coherence in multiple plotlines
    -study of theme/s

    I think that ToR shows these 5 points very well... both what to do (ex: development of May) and what not to do (ex: development of Steven). It has both pros and cons to disguss, which is also another thing to look for... not just what is good, but where are the areas to improve on.

    As for the May thing, it's just that I like May *a lot* ^o^ I like Haruka even more though ^_________^

    Welcome back to writing then, Neko =p

    Oh Farla... she's an insane reviewer... a simple "meh... not bad" from her is better than 10000 "Oh I can't wait for the next chapter" kind of stuff... lol. The cruelest part is that this isn't sarcasm or exaggeration. lol Breezy... I guess that Farla must have reviewed one of your stories right? Well that's not surprising that she will want to take a look at the author who has gone famous in fanfiction.net for the astonishing series of stories revolving Brendan/May (also being one of the first writers to write about the Ruby/Sapphire characters)
     

    Aiya Quackform

    Her High Quackiness
  • 189
    Posts
    20
    Years
    You're acting like a stuck up child throwing a tantrum, in my opinion. You've had lots of people ask you to stay, explain why you should stay, tell you that you should work on improving your skills, and not give up because you're not perfect! I really don't get what the deal is with you. Are you going back to PE2K because they don't help you improve? PE2K can have you.

    (If someone deems this too harsh, either delete it or tell me to edit it. This is acceptable on another forum I'm on, I'm not sure about PC.)
     
    Last edited:

    Strawberry Delcatty

    Neko daisuki-na no nya!
  • 752
    Posts
    19
    Years
    Aiya Quackform said:
    You're acting like a stuck up child throwing a tantrum, in my opinion. You've had lots of people ask you to stay, explain why you should stay, tell you that you should work on improving your skills, and not give up because you're not perfect!
    I know...
    Like I said, I'm sorry for acting that way.
     

    Strawberry Delcatty

    Neko daisuki-na no nya!
  • 752
    Posts
    19
    Years
    Aiya Quackform said:
    Oh, man, now you're making me feel guilty...
    Oh... sorry about that.

    Aiya Quackform said:
    Thanks for being so civil, Nekomajo Asunya, after all of this.
    No problem.
    Of course, I'm still upset about no Meowth and Skitty being in tOD, but that's mainly because I'm a cat maniac. Meow.
     

    Breezy

    Eee.
  • 454
    Posts
    19
    Years
    frostweaver said:
    Oh Farla... she's an insane reviewer... a simple "meh... not bad" from her is better than 10000 "Oh I can't wait for the next chapter" kind of stuff... lol. The cruelest part is that this isn't sarcasm or exaggeration. lol Breezy... I guess that Farla must have reviewed one of your stories right? Well that's not surprising that she will want to take a look at the author who has gone famous in fanfiction.net for the astonishing series of stories revolving Brendan/May (also being one of the first writers to write about the Ruby/Sapphire characters)
    Yep she did. ^_^ Though, I think she reviewed me because I reviewed one of her stories (it was a parody on something I believe) and not because I was "famous" (though it could of been) seeing as she did review one of my one-shots the next day. Surprisingly, it wasn't that bad. I believe it was before she got harsher if that's possible.
    Farla from ff.net said:
    I thought this looked like a good story, until the dialogue started. You were doing so well - establishing Wally's character reasonably, not rushing directly into the story, and then...
    I don't like or hate Brendan, but the bashing here just feels random and poorly justified. Not an insightful interpretation of his character but rather a "I like Wally so I'll just make Brendan a jerk for no reason" sort of thing.
    And then the dialogue starts. Ugh. I can't put my finger on what exactly is so horribly wrong, but it...well, sounds wrong, like I just said. As if you're just using it as an excuse to preach to us, not because that's what the characters would actually say. May sounds especially weird - why can't she use contractions? - but Wally doesn't sound realistic either. So basically, this seems written less because you like Wally/May and more because you wanted a chance to bash Brendan. Which is weird, because if you like the pairing, surely you must have a better reason than 'because she shouldn't be paired with Brendan (because he's a jerk)'.
    Also, 'your' is possessive (your story) and 'you're' is a contraction of 'you are' (you're the writer).
    o.0 See? That's like one million times nicer from what I've seen from her lately.
     

    Aiya Quackform

    Her High Quackiness
  • 189
    Posts
    20
    Years
    Yes, I've had the curse/blessing thing of getting Farla's reviews on TOD at FFnet. A lot of her points are very valid, but it bugs the heck out of me when she acts like she knows my characters better than I do... (She DOESN'T, and I've pointed that out to her on a couple occasions.) ... (Yes, you've found a peeve of mine.)

    Note: I just posted my new .hack one-shot, "Mind's Eye" for anyone who's interested.
     

    Breezy

    Eee.
  • 454
    Posts
    19
    Years
    Yeah, same here. That one-shot was mainly to retaliate back to those who were bashing Wally by semi-bashing Brendan instead and having Wally and May together, not just to bash period. They wouldn't listen to Breezy ranting about stop bashing Wally so Breezy decided to write a story about it. ~^

    Of course she's going to point out of the canon characters are just a tad OOC. But your characters were original right?

    Nevertheless though, she still one heck of a great reviewer though I would have much more respect for her if she didn't have that livejournal of hers.
     

    Aiya Quackform

    Her High Quackiness
  • 189
    Posts
    20
    Years
    Breezy said:
    Of course she's going to point out of the canon characters are just a tad OOC. But your characters were original right?
    (I'll assume this is directed at me.) Yes, my characters are original. She was all, "I don't think Castform would do that," etc, etc. But I knew what I was doing. I was showing that my characters have different sides and are getting comfortable with one another. She bugged me with that. [/rant]

    Breezy said:
    Nevertheless though, she still one heck of a great reviewer
    True enough. She keeps me on my toes like a ballerina.

    Breezy said:
    though I would have much more respect for her if she didn't have that livejournal of hers.
    Livejournal?
     
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