Fanfiction Lounge

[Hitoshizuku]

Too bad that his account is defeated and his story will be forever extinct (there goes my true *favorite* Pokemon author ;o; ), but an older writer by the name of Brian on fanfiction.net wrote a brilliant mind torment story of Ash and May... I was reading it at 2 AM and that was terribly unpleasant O_o; scared me half death... I don't remember the name of that particular story now, but it is a terror fanfic that actually consist of no Pokemon, no names mention (you are never told directly the fact that it is Ash and May in the story), and minimum movements (almost scriptfic...) The content and style used to convey the idea of true mind torments... a masterpiece *sniff sniff*

This Brian?

https://www.fanfiction.net/u/173759/

Hehe, I remember when he was one of the only people on FanFiction.Net who had May in his fics. Gah, I'm old.

 

[Frostweaver]

......

......

*immediate rep up* ;________________________________;

Oh my goodness it's Brian again! *rushes there to read*
How come I couldn't find him through author search in ffnet by myself... ;___;

 

[Iveechan]

I'm going to refuse to read Pokemon Master out of spite and it seems to be more about humans than Pokemon. Mwahaha.

 

[Flatulus]

frostweaver: Now your starting to go into more detail about what makes my fic unoriginal, which is a little more helpful though it's just too bad that the plot can't be changed (Saying that there will be a major plot twist would just ruin the surprise).

It?s nice to see that you picked up on the fact Lilac was acting a little unrealistically in the first chapter, it?s something that the first person to read it should of picked up though you were the first person to really notice. Reading through it again confirmed what you said, though the way you said it caused me some confusion at first since Lilac was not completely calm unlike you implied, also it was not a nightmare coming true, the Ninetales just tricked her into thinking that though that is point where deliberately making it unclear was the best thing to do.
As for her seeming a bit firm: She was a bit nervous and just said how she would prefer things to go, hoping that it would help?

It would be nice for you to read all of my fic and see how I?m improving, but since you?re a reviewer you haven?t got the time and you must of read at least 30 (Probably closer to 200) fics better than it? If you ever start to run out of fics to review I would appreciate it if you reviewed some of the newer chapters, however I would prefer if you just fitted me into the que again but I would suggest you talk to Lily first to see if that?s a good idea.


... Well of course you can't take a joke, those people who can take them well tend to be unable to read through a 2000-word chapter and point out errors better than a fully trained English teacher (Yes, my teacher could pick up a single mistake in it and she?s meant to be the Head of English for my school), that sort of thing demands total seriousness. Now I wouldn?t hold that flaw against you for three reasons: It would be too mean; I also suffer from being unable to take a joke; and Lily would kill me if she found me harassing you.

 

[Rebecca M. Renfield]

Chapters One through Five of The Kuraitenshi are currently up.

And thanks again for giving me the fic of the week. :20:

 

[Obsidian Blade]

How come I couldn't find him through author search in ffnet by myself... ;___;

I call it Annoying Random Number Syndrome. Fanfiction.net did that whole "we cannot have two authors with the same Pen Name" thing a while back so they stuck random numbers onto names... As a result, I've found that sometimes the search fails if you miss out the stooopid number. ><

I'm going to refuse to read Pokemon Master out of spite and it seems to be more about humans than Pokemon. Mwahaha.

And here is a comment that will earn me some scowls: I really disliked that fiction. >< Ace is a good writer, better than me by so far that the horizon is in the way, but to call that a Pokemon fiction... He may as well have changed a few names, altered a few Pokemon appearances (not that there are many to alter, eh) and called it original. Blech.

 

[Pidgeot500]

I'd have liked it better if he hadn't used characters from the anime.
...I should work on my fanfic sometime... I'm partway done, and I like it okay so far. Yeah, I'll do that soon. :)

 

[Orange_Flaaffy]

I too do not care for a fic if it is all about humans. Unless it has some great factor of pokemon in it, such as, at the very least, the powers of the pokemon themselfs, I find myself skipping over fics: Where you could just as well have the characters have a different name and fit them into any fandom, and fics where romance is the only plot. I love romance novels as much as the next gal who has a collection of them:), but they have to have something beyond the romance to work well...

 

[Iveechan]

The only human fics I like are ones by Ilex the Elder on ff.net. "Bound by Silence" almost made me cry. But I just like er because her primary focus are the adult characters, Professor Oak and Delia.

 

[Strawberry Delcatty]

Well, I've got the first two chapters of my revision of HMW. Please read and review. Thank you-nya! *purrs*

 

[IceKing]

Hi I just joined these forums for the fanfiction board. Im going to try and review as many fics as I can. If you dont have many reviewers please feel free to PM and I will review your fic. I know that it sucks to post into thin air.

Many of these fics seem to be good. I heard somewhere that you guys get mad when trainer fics dont follow unoriginality, but I don't believe it. I saw some posts about worst fanfic ever. Im going to agree with Chibi Pika on New girl in town *shudders* and also "story" about a guy who isntantly catches rayqauza, then beats ash withotu even trying, then catches about 24 pokemon by simply throwing his pokeballs at him, and then he gives May a celebi and they fall in love. Wow

Anyway, I posted my first fic here. Its called Whirl Island Adventures and I have it on Serebii too. It starts out looking all normal, boring trainer fic, but as the chapters progress you realize that it is very twisted (in terms of humor) Join Brian the badge collector (similar to oragne islands) Julie the soul searcher and Greg the big idiot who everyone loves who wants to be in the Whirl Cup so he can meet the girl of his dreams, Misty

 

[Breezy]

Well, um, I updated an lettter off compaint!!! ^_^ It's a parody on n00b fics AND their reviewers mind you. :P

 

[Frostweaver]

Personally, I consider Pokemon MASTER to be *very* "Pokemon." Afterall, why is it not Pokemon? Pokemon is in it unlike some other well known romance "Pokemon" fanfic. The world of Pokemon is used unlike all the alternate universe Pokemon fanfic. Characters are from the Pokemon series as well unlike many other fanfics. Characters (or shall I say, all but 2 actually) are very intact with their original, younger self in the anime as well. With such strong supporting evidence, how can anyone say that it's not Pokemon enough? Is it just because it doesn't feature some young teenagers going off on a journey to become the Pokemon Champion? =o?

Either the characters, or the Pokemon+Pokemon world have to be in the fiction to be considered a "Pokemon fanfic." As long as either of these requirements are fulfilled, then it's a Pokemon fanfic.


Should be able to get a few fanfics done on Saturday. Tonight i have to study Macbeth and tomorrow I have church + chinese school studying ^^; Sorry~!

 

[Orange_Flaaffy]

Oh don't worry, I myself was not putting down Pokemon Master in any way. As I have never read it, and do not care for dark fics as a rule, that would be silly of me. I was however speaking in a more overall way. In any fandom, if you do not put enough of the world of what you are a fan of (in this case, Pokemon) into your story you might just as well be writing a totally self made work and trying to sell it to a publisher. Which is not a bad thing, it just does not in my opition make for good fanfic if you could change the names Ash and Misty to something like Bill and Holly, cut out all the pokemon elements, and have no one be the wiser for it...But then, that is a keeping characters in character rant for another day...

 

[rubyrulez]

Well, I put up chapter 13 of Lento Legends! Please, please don't be shy! Leave me a review. Good or Bad, it's cool! :)

 

[Strawberry Delcatty]

More of the revised HMW is up. (Chapter 3)
I'll be checking out more of Whirl Island Adventures ASAP.

 

[Geometric-sama]

@ IceKing: If you want fics to review feel free to review mine, links in sig XD

 

[Frostweaver]

@ Into the Mud

-well yes Machoke was the instrument of the "evil trainer" (antagonist) so of course Machoke appears to be evil too... but then again, it's only reasonable to send out a fighting type against a dark type

-not much to say, except this one thing about sentence structure. The most important ideas *always* come at the very end, so always try to arrange your sentence so that the keyword or at least the main idea is introduced last in a sentence. Not too much of a problem though...

-another minor problem is that I really don't see much significance in "mud" which didn't even appear frequent enough to be motif, nor is it important enough to be the title... titles should really be reflective on the major ideas in the fanfic, or named after an important character in the story...

I remember, I dream

-quite debatable just what is this suggestive quote suggesting... is it talking about the idea of memory/dreams, or hallucinations? No idea... a bit vague and possibly confuses your readers at the moment...

-another problem is possibly originality... besides the dramatic rescue that makes it plausible for the possibility of a sequel, this idea has been done many times... Obsidian Blade in fact has a *very* similar story, with the only difference being a human girl that's running away instead of a Pokemon. Of course, there's always Dragonfree's that talk of Pokemon trying to run away from human trainer's captures...

-the only thing that is preventing this fanfic from getting into the Standards of Excellence is the absence of well planned story structure or the usage of various devices in order to strengthen the story's main ideas (themes) and coherence. Though the story is absolutely flawless (to me at least) in terms of grammar and all but one line is very easy to understand, this can only atmost make this fanfic a good fanfic, yet not enough to be an "excellent" one... But only writing experiences, continous reading and endless repetition of practices can help you understand what else is needed in order to break through the line of a "good" fanfic into an "excellent" one...

Good Points
-flawless grammar
-very readible, easy to understand
-well constructed story, a strong basis of fluent writing skills is shown

Focuses to Improve on
-a more suitable title
-placing the most important ideas last
-further work on the development on main idea(s)

Grammar Basics: 10/10
Characterization: 18/20
Coherence/Readability: 10/10
Tone/Structure: 16/20
Diction: 17/20
Effort/Originality: 16/20
Lit. Device bonus: +0

Total: 87

<><><>

As well, the first chapter analysis for "Trials of Reluctance" is complete! I'll try to pull off hopefully one chapter analysis every 2 to 3 days... some chapters can have so much to comment about, which suggests just how resourceful and how much every writer can learn from this brilliant fanfic ^__^

Check the "Example of a good fanfic- Complete Analysis" sticky thread now!

 

[Aiya Quackform]

OMGAWD AN 87!?!?!?! *is walking on air* Thanks for the review, Frost. I have had comments from another excellent reviewer that there wasn't much of an actual conflict & resolution, as you pointed out. I have been working on that in my more recent stories.

While I do understand your point on my title, allow me to explain it. When I say "Into The Mud", I don't mean physically; I mean emotionally. He is cast from emotional sunlight into emotional mud, which is reflected in what happens physically.

Anyway, I thank you very much for your fair, and TOTALLY EXCELLENT review. (Maybe I'll do a rewrite someday and go for 'Standard of Excellence'. ^_~)

Oh, hey, here's a question for the great all-grammar-knowing Frostweaver: When a sentence ends with a title in quotation marks, is the period inside or outside the marks? I'm not talking about dialogue. You know, "Into The Mud." or "Into The Mud". I think it's the second one, but just asking.

 

[Frostweaver]

You want "Into the Mud." Punctuations within the quotation marks, please. Same thing applies to the brackets.

Well I never mentioned that this story is lacking conflict/resolution, as that'll be marking the plot which a reviewer should never do. There is a conflict which is Poochyena against the human world, and not every story needs a resolution (but if you must define one, then Ninetales's rescue can be the resolution, i suppose.) The problem is that it's just lacking overall support of your main theme, and strengthening the fanfic through more coherent support in various parts of the story.

As for the "mud," well mud is not something we address the state of mind with. Rain is the usual element to address a depressed mind. Though it's always nice to try to be creative in our metaphorical language, but then the culture of English always have some invisible set of rules in terms of how far originality can go. Sometimes you read something, and grammatically it is correct, yet deep within the sentence just sounds "wrong." These kind of things are usually improper usage of a word in context, which is probably the case with "mud" here. I kind of understand what you're saying, regarding why you decide to use "mud" to symbolize Poochyena's state of mind. But, how do we get mud? Mixing water with soil... which comes from the rain... so I'll guess that's how you got "mud" but then rain is just the better choice even though it's a lot more common and unoriginal...

Certainly there must be other metaphors we can use to describe a depressed mind filled with angst... Personally, i'll aim for "filthy air" rather than mud... personally, I think that it's quite an easy symbol to work around with, and it should work in place of mud rather nicely... so that'll be my suggestion.

I'm glad that you liked the review, even though I didn't say much and Flatulus just told me awhile ago that I wasn't close to being specific enough in my reviews ^^;