Haiku's

SylveonStar

Sylveon
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    • Age 29
    • Seen Mar 15, 2017
    Two Haiku's I wrote last year in class.

    Lion
    Golden fur, sharp teeth
    Fierce and majestic beauty
    The king of all beasts.





    Willow Tree
    In the dark of night
    As the wind and rain pounded
    The willow tree cried.
     
    Last edited:
    As a nit-pick, fierce is actually considered to be one syllable long (I can see how it could be thought to be two but I always thought it as one and a bit of checking arounds seems to suggest it's one anyway...). Hence the middle line of the first one comes to six syllables, so it needs a touch of tweaking. (You could always slip in an 'and' after it though).

    But I quite liked these - pretty good hiakus you have there imo! I like how the mood of each haiku suited the content.
     
    thanks :) I wrote these last year in my creative writing class and got an A on them seems my teacher thought that word was more than one Syllable like I did :) I'll edit and see if it looks better
     
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