igtica
Mmmm....Cheesecake
- 927
- Posts
- 21
- Years
- Cheesecake ^_^
- Seen May 28, 2012
Ok. I feel that this truly is in order no matter what happens after this.
Firstly I feel I have been deeply misunderstood. Everything was wrong in my actions, and lead to incorrect treatment that only I am to blame for. As my boyfriend said:
?each person deals with loss differently...... i see it every day[edit: he works in insurance]...... you get some people who freak when they lose their wallet, and others that are ok about losing a family member....... you just get that over time......?
I?m taking way too much to heart? I just care so deeply for my rat?learning of her illness has just been one bad thing in a row of bad things for me, and I don?t cope too well with this kind of thing. This isn?t an excuse for my behaviour, just reasoning for why.
I feel so bad my past with FG got caught up in it. I was just shocked initially that she didn?t understand and she had no reason to. But that is a personal thing between FG and myself. She has said she is happy to talk it through to me, and I hope that others can accept this, especially as she was created as a centre to a poor argument. She shouldn?t have been used as a device to attack me, or to be attacked. She didn?t deserve anything that was said from anything in that argument. Things were not dealt with well as everyone too caught up emotionally. I have a horrible vice of saying things I don?t mean in defence?but I?m only ever as hurtful according to how hurt I feel.
I have been a member of these forums for over 3 years. I have never had to deal with such a thing and I hope never to deal with it anywhere else. I?ve seen them change consistently, but due to losing the net for over a year I have been out of touch with events, and it can be my only reasoning for why I was so shocked that my thread was closed.
I?ve seen many things occur which lead to these forums having ever tighter rules, and with good reason too, even though I myself may not agree with the degree of the actions, I acknowledge that the ideas behind them are good.
?They don't take anymore leniancy, and they think that any disagreement with them is breaking the rules.?
This is what an old friend of mine told me?. I?m too used to the days where people were forgiven or just warned as to why instead of instant action. I didn?t realise that spamming here had gotten so bad to allow this. It just seem a logical thing to ask considering the leniency of a delicate situation. For example that my work (which obviously I prize much higher as they pay me) wanted me to go home instantly when I found out.
All this really boils down to is that I?m having difficulty facing the fact my pet rat has cancer (however important or unimportant it is to anyone else it matters so much to me). It pains me everyday to see her lump swell and grow, and to see her sweet little bright face grow slightly dull?. to see that happy smile she has consistently gradually fade?. I just want the world to know. I want everyone to care?she deserves so much?she?s brought me so much happiness?. I just want to give her everything I can. That?s why it hurt so much? I love her so deeply?and I know I can?t double post the same thing?. I know I can?t replicate?and I know the system won?t let me upload the same picture again. It makes me so sad. It?s no reason to hurt others?I?m just having an adverse effect that truly isn?t me.
I hope that I get the chance to show it isn?t me. If I?m allowed, I?ll stay?I?d want to give something back to PC though?so with permission I?d like to set up a custom avatar thread and take requests again. To draw pictures for those at PC?.to give something back to those at PC?even if it?s not used I want to offer it?.That?s if any of you see fit for me to stay.
Otherwise I hope that you can all accept my deepest regret and apology on the matter, especially FG. I?ve made so many friends at PC and had so many good times. I want to thank everyone over the years that has made me happy, made me laugh, stayed with me, let me miss them, missed me, let me draw for them, let me be a moderator and everything else PC has given me. I thank you all and I hope that we can meet somewhere else maybe sometime in the cyber world.
~*Thank you*~
Firstly I feel I have been deeply misunderstood. Everything was wrong in my actions, and lead to incorrect treatment that only I am to blame for. As my boyfriend said:
?each person deals with loss differently...... i see it every day[edit: he works in insurance]...... you get some people who freak when they lose their wallet, and others that are ok about losing a family member....... you just get that over time......?
I?m taking way too much to heart? I just care so deeply for my rat?learning of her illness has just been one bad thing in a row of bad things for me, and I don?t cope too well with this kind of thing. This isn?t an excuse for my behaviour, just reasoning for why.
I feel so bad my past with FG got caught up in it. I was just shocked initially that she didn?t understand and she had no reason to. But that is a personal thing between FG and myself. She has said she is happy to talk it through to me, and I hope that others can accept this, especially as she was created as a centre to a poor argument. She shouldn?t have been used as a device to attack me, or to be attacked. She didn?t deserve anything that was said from anything in that argument. Things were not dealt with well as everyone too caught up emotionally. I have a horrible vice of saying things I don?t mean in defence?but I?m only ever as hurtful according to how hurt I feel.
I have been a member of these forums for over 3 years. I have never had to deal with such a thing and I hope never to deal with it anywhere else. I?ve seen them change consistently, but due to losing the net for over a year I have been out of touch with events, and it can be my only reasoning for why I was so shocked that my thread was closed.
I?ve seen many things occur which lead to these forums having ever tighter rules, and with good reason too, even though I myself may not agree with the degree of the actions, I acknowledge that the ideas behind them are good.
?They don't take anymore leniancy, and they think that any disagreement with them is breaking the rules.?
This is what an old friend of mine told me?. I?m too used to the days where people were forgiven or just warned as to why instead of instant action. I didn?t realise that spamming here had gotten so bad to allow this. It just seem a logical thing to ask considering the leniency of a delicate situation. For example that my work (which obviously I prize much higher as they pay me) wanted me to go home instantly when I found out.
All this really boils down to is that I?m having difficulty facing the fact my pet rat has cancer (however important or unimportant it is to anyone else it matters so much to me). It pains me everyday to see her lump swell and grow, and to see her sweet little bright face grow slightly dull?. to see that happy smile she has consistently gradually fade?. I just want the world to know. I want everyone to care?she deserves so much?she?s brought me so much happiness?. I just want to give her everything I can. That?s why it hurt so much? I love her so deeply?and I know I can?t double post the same thing?. I know I can?t replicate?and I know the system won?t let me upload the same picture again. It makes me so sad. It?s no reason to hurt others?I?m just having an adverse effect that truly isn?t me.
I hope that I get the chance to show it isn?t me. If I?m allowed, I?ll stay?I?d want to give something back to PC though?so with permission I?d like to set up a custom avatar thread and take requests again. To draw pictures for those at PC?.to give something back to those at PC?even if it?s not used I want to offer it?.That?s if any of you see fit for me to stay.
Otherwise I hope that you can all accept my deepest regret and apology on the matter, especially FG. I?ve made so many friends at PC and had so many good times. I want to thank everyone over the years that has made me happy, made me laugh, stayed with me, let me miss them, missed me, let me draw for them, let me be a moderator and everything else PC has given me. I thank you all and I hope that we can meet somewhere else maybe sometime in the cyber world.
~*Thank you*~