Let's Play Pokemon Fire Red

[Zeta Sukuna]

Yes, Fire Red. Not Fire Red Omega, or some sort of Rom Hack, but Fire Red. This is my own take on the story, if the main character was evil. It will stretch out throughout the entirety of the pokemon games.

Oh, and by the way, I know my picture quality sucks. If there's no way to fix it with the emulator's capture, then I will take photos with my other recorder.

Note: NPC sprites ripped by Silentninja, and Hero sprites ripped by Mewtwo Man, retrieved from Spriters-Resource. Maps made by A-Map, made by LU-HO.

Here we go, Entry #1

Spoiler:

Police Officer 1: Now listen, we just want the information from your point of view. Co-operate, or pay the consequences.

Red: You pigs think you can scare me with your words? Who decorated this room anyway? They should be shot for doing such a poor job.

Police Officer: Shut up and tell us!

Red: You already have enough evidence to lock me up. Why bother with this pointless jabber?

Police Officer: Fine, you don't want to talk, eh? I suppose we could put you in with James again...

Red: NO! NO WAY! I'll tell you everything, just don't put me in a room with him!

Police Officer: Then start with the story!

Red: Fine. Here it goes. Hell, I'll tell it so well, you'll think you were me!

Who the hell are you, old man!?

Seriously, GET OUT OF MY DREAM!

I don't care if your name is Redwood, get out before I make you!

That's it, I'm getting my lasers.

What is inhabited far and wide by pokemon? Tell me while I load these things.

What am I, a kindergartener!? I know that, you old fool!

Wait, where is my laser guns!? This is my dream!

Your mother must be so proud of you. I mean it, instead of becoming a champion, you study something we all know about! Hey wait, aren't you that creepy neighbor that lives next to us?

No! Why the hell should I!?

You tell me, einstein!

What the hell!? Where did this ****ing thing come from!? And how does it have my name on it!?

What's my neighbor doing in my dream!? I hate that guy!

Whoopdeefreakingdoo! I don't care about some pokemon journey! I have business to take care of!

I dream only of money, I don't care about your ****ing adventure bullcrap! I have important stuff to take care of here!

And here I am, talking to my contacts in various... let's say places. Watching TV. I hear some news I don't like, so I decided to leave.

My idiot mother, there she is, unaware of what goes on behind her back. Alwars reading that ****ing book, and watching that ****ing show!

Stop swearing? No ****ing way, pig! You want it from my point of view, then suck it up!

And this? This is my house in my backwards-ass town. Nothing ever goes on here. Two houses, population... what was it, seven? Eight? Who cares? Their only purpose is to manipulate them into giving me cash.

This is Blue's house. I come here every so often to laugh at his lack of a room. That was my doing, he sleeps on the floor now.

Serves him right. Ow! Don't hit me, pig!

And here is the asshat himself. Despite his looks, he is an annoying enemy, but surprisingly resiliant and challenging. He was instrumental in my downfall, believe it or not. Now, back to the story.

What the hell? You can't boss me around!

I have a gun in my hand, do you think pokemon will actually get the jump on me? Actually...

If you're willing to give me a pokemon, I can do so much more then I can now...

Ohoho... I know someone who is going to pay for this by the time I'm done!

Will you shut up, I'm tired of your snooty ass getting in the way!

As much as I hate you, Blue, I hate Oak more. He's such an idiot.

I may not be the nicest person around the block, but... who the hell forgets about their grandson!? I know you don't have any... oh wait... never mind. Go right ahead.

Blue: What are you talking about?

Red: Shut up and let him talk.

What now, idiotic weirdo?

Ooooh, three pokemon! I'm soooo amazed! Having three pokemon isn't an accomplishment! Most trainers have three pokemon!

Gee, you think!? It's kind of common sense that a Pokemon would be in a Poke ball!

Yeah, you have... Gasp! Three pokemon! That's such an accomplishment! Even straw hat over there can get three pokemon!

It's what I came here to get. Now, which shall I choose?

Wait your turn, because once again, I am better then you.

Blue: Shut up, Red!

Now which should I get?

Which one should I get? And should I name it anything?

What? You think I'm nuts? Obviously the burning down of Five Island didn't give you enough proof.

Yeah, this one kind of sucks, but it'll get better soon. Just have to get back into the swing of things.

 

[Alice]

I always liked squirtle best... You could be uncreative and name it Bowser since it'll be a Blastoise.

 

[mattman324]

Venusaur is the best of the starters competitively and ingame.

He also has a really bad movepool offensively, meaning you have to (gasp!) use support moves. Which you then find out that Sleepseed is GODLY in the second elite four. (My team of high 50s beat it all thanks to Venusaur)

Men choose Bulbasaur. And name it Rafsillia, because it has a huge rafsillia flower on it's back when it is it's final stage.

 

[Doctor Who]

I second Bulbasaur, maybe name it Caligula, because we all know Venusaurs are bat**** crazy.

 

[Zeta Sukuna]

Okay, two to one Bulbasaur, and I named it Caligula, because that is an awesome name.

Update #2

Spoiler:

Hell yeah, something to poison people with. This should be fun.

Named after something I want to avoid being, thank you very much.

Oh, please don't tell me...

You son of a *****! I'll kill you even more painfully!

Heh, so you want to die already, eh? Okay, let's fight, boy!

Blue: You do realize that we're about the same age, right?

Red: Like I care, all I want to do is to remove you from the equation.

Oak: What's going on over there?

Red: Nothing.

This should be easy enough.

WHAT!? How!? How could I have lost to this fool!?

Blue: You kept telling me what you were going to do, and laughing.

Red: ... Shut up.

No, I'll kill you!

Wait, what? That's disgusting.

Blue: Shut up, weirdo.

(Blue walks out)

Looks like I'm going to have some trouble with this after all. Oh well, as long as I get the Master Ball, I'll get what I want. Those fools had better not betray me.

Heh, this looks like it'll be an easy route to conquer.

Give me your stuff, now! Or will we have to get deadly?

Clerk: D-don't hurt me! T-take it!

A POTION!? That's all you have!? Graaaah! You piss me off too much. Be fortunate I'm so merciful.

Heh, a Pidgey? This should be e-

What the hell!? I almost lost to one of the weakest pokemon in the region!? Arceus damn it! What the hell!?

Finally, I made it to Viridian. It looks like my luck is turning for the better, if I must say so myself. Now, let's scout around for targets.

Pokemon Center: Place where many beginners rest. Good target.

Damn, can't get to the gym. I'll kill you, old man.

Anyway, now that I was so rudely interrupted, the Pokemon Gym: Abandoned, so I don't think it'll be a good target.

What? Yes, but I'm only here to buy-

You mean the guy who is going slowly mad? Yeah, I know him, but I'm here to buy-

What!? No! Why the hell should I?

When I get pokemon team full, I will kill you. I will kill you so fast.

Damn lazy clerk.

Oh my god! That Pidgey nest will PAY! Tonight, they will all die!

Surprisingly happy, I think.

Well, despite wanting to conquer the world, I do treat my pokemon well. A willing ally is a helpful ally.

Don't praise me, you insane old man. It won't come out to anything.

I'm not a dog, but I do. This is the last errand I'm running for you.

You are a lazy man. I despise you.

Red: Wha!? Where did you come from!?

Blue: I'm so cool, I can teleport.

Red: Riiiiiight.

Oh Arceus, please tell me that it won't be utterly stupid.

Blue: Obviously you don't know my grandpa, then.

Red: True.

You didn't invent the thing! You stole it and said you did!

Blue: Poor Professor Pine. I remember burying her body, too.

We know that! It's common knowledge!

Please don't tell me I'll have to catch a bunch of pokemon.

Hell no! My funds go to a completely separate thing!

The present isn't enough to make me do it.

No duh.

WE ALREADY HAVE THAT! It's called BULBAPEDIA!

Right. Anyway, I'm getting out of here before you cretins make me even stupider.

And you pigs revere him as some sort of god.

Ow! Fine!

What told you that? Your medicade bill, or your osteoperosis? Face it, you'll be dead in three years if I don't do anything.

Hmm... NO! I have my own dreams to fulfill!

**** you!

Red: BULBAPEDIA!

Blue: Don't bother, he doesn't go online... anyway!

I know I won't be. I don't want to be.

Wow, he sure can teleport.

Hope you like it. Update 3 will come soon.

 

[Doctor Who]

"WE ALREADY HAVE THAT, IT'S CALLED BULBAPEDIA"

Best line in history xD

Caligula for the win C: Now let's hope the thing isn't quite as crazy as that emperor was >.>

 

[Satoshi_poketo monsta]

Haahahaha! It's so funny! The story! Oh my my! But that was a good story!

 

[Benjamin510]

B.T.E This is god. If you were to use Quartz this would be even better.

 

[emoxy]

He doesn't go online :(

Try to decimate Pidgeys yay hahaha nice story :)

 

[redsaber5859]

Love it XD, even more encouragement to make my chaos black LP

Love the whole interruption things, and yes, we do have bulbapedia *plugs in poked to computer* files not compatable WTF? Oak make it f'n better?m

 

[imevil]

mad me laugh so hard, nice job. Hoping for more

 

[raidenx2008]

Ooo a "original" game LP..... Quite funny..... Hope you continue it~~!

 

[CrossShadow]

Thats a really good Lp hope you keep it up.

 

[Mab]

It's been a while, when's the next update?

 

[Zeta Sukuna]

The fact that you kept it alive after all this time astounds me. You have given me the inspiration to keep it up. No lie. Here is update #3. It's short, since I didn't work on it for too long, but it'll make me get back into the swing of things, I guess.

Update #3

Spoiler:

Ah, now I'm free from him. Now, it's time for me to start to wreck **** up. Look out world, here comes-

... Why do I even bother with the monologuing?

Well, this way looks like a good place to train a little bit. Caligula needs to get stronger.

Oh, hey. It's you. No one is here, it's time to kill you. Hehehe....

Badges? I don't need any badges to kill you.

You think I'm going to waste my time with badges? You're out of your mind if you think I'm doing that!

Stronger then yours.

... Why did I choose the grass one? Why?

No! You're not great! You suck! The next time we meet, you're DEAD!

Blue: Yeah, right. Not with that pokemon.

Attacked by Pidgeys, taunted by Blue twice, and forced to run a stupid errand. How can my day get any worse?

... You've got to be kidding me.

And I need to know... why?

Which one? Are you talking about the one with the drugs, or the bomb? Oh, you must mean the pokedex! Right... I don't have drugs or bombs. >>

No, not really. I just use Bul-

... Old man, I will get rid of you for doing that to me.

Yeah, by sucking data from Serebii, or Bulbapedia! Why should I do this?

When did I say that?

You're crazy, old man! I'm out of here!

Old Man: Oh no you don't. I'm important, too!

2 hours of bad pokemon battling later.

... NO! You kept me here for TWO DAMN HOURS, trying to catch WEEDLE! You fell asleep TWICE! The only reason I'm here is because your granddaughter has a gun to my back!

NO! I'm not taking this!

*Click*

Aaah, okay! Okay! I'll take it!

Fine, now get her to let me go!

Old Man: Okay, let him go. Now,

I don't care... just... never speak to me EVER again, or I will use Mr. Red against you. No one likes Mr. Red.

Short and not that great, but I just wanted to make the announcement. And yeah, Caligula is underpowered, but she's supposed to be for now.

 

[Mab]

Kinda short, but I really liked this update. Keep it going!