Long Distance Relationships.. Do they work ?

[Shhmew]

I think that if you truly love the person, it can work. You just need to make plans to meet up as soon as you can.

I've noticed that many many people who develop long distance relationships do so because they're rather socially awkward, and social networking is their go-to for meeting people. So many of them just don't understand how drastically different it is to be looking into their eyes, holding them in your arms, seeing the way their hair moves as they talk, watching where their hands go when they're excited; those little things seriously make a massive difference. I'm certainly not saying LDRs are bad, or less important, or doomed to fail, or anything like that; I'm simply saying that most people in LDRs underestimate how much better and just different it is to be with them in person. Recognizing that is very important, and it's important to meet up to make sure they way they are in person is still just as amazing to you. It's the same thing when you are in a relationship with someone in real life, but still don't know what it's like to live in the same house as them. You know?

You also need a plan for when you can live near (or with) each other. Without any plans like that the relationship looks hopeless and at least one participant is more likely to give up on it.

But again, if you have plans, and you really care for each other, you can most certainly brave the storm and be together one day. It's just a matter of patience and holding out, really. Most LDRs fail because the participants tend to not have plans, and therefore don't take it as seriously, eventually realizing it was just for fun and they don't really love the person on the other side of the screen/phone/whatever as much as they thought they did. :C

For the record, I had many many LDRs before my real life relationship. The LDRs were when I was young, and though they seemed like a big deal to me at the time... now that I've had a boyfriend in real life, it's very hard to picture myself committing to someone who I can't hug and cuddle. Very hard. But if I truly loved them, then of course I would do it; we wouldn't be apart forever, after all. There's hope: airplanes and boats and busses and trains and cars. ^__^

 

[Sylphiel]

It really, really depends on the people involved. I've seen them work out great, and I've seen them peter out after some time without much happening.

My own marriage actually started out as a long-distance relationship. Met the guy through a group we were both in, turned out we had common interests, that turned into an interest for each other, eventually kept meeting up with each other every summer/winter until we finally moved in together. Actually thought it was doomed to failure when it first happened, since at the time it started the thought of meeting anyone I met online in person was just...unthinkable, but apparently I thought wrong!

I do realize it's not for everyone though - different people have different needs when it comes to relationships - but if you're the kind of person who doesn't mind (or can at least stand) being long-distance, and can still trust the other person (big big thing there) while doing so, then I don't see why it shouldn't be able to work.

 

[an illegible mess.]

it really depends. long distance relationships are good for some people, and painful for others. you have to have patience, loyalty, and mental strength to stay in a committed long-distance relationship.

i have found solace in long-distance relationships, and the most that i've had have lasted for longer than most people would think they do. i think ldr's give more of an attraction to personality and bond rather than appearance, and make the emotion of love that much stronger. though, yes, it is painful to be in an ldr simply because you are far apart from each other, especially at times when you most need the other. however, if you are strong enough, you can push through these and look towards an optimistic future when you can finally see your partner in real life.

i can personally say that the longest ldr ive been in was for two years, and our break up wasnt that harsh at all. we sort of fell out of love and began to realize it was slowly forming back into a platonic friendship. that can be another problem that can pop up. you begin to get bored or jealous of others who have their partners right beside them at all times. ldr's give a lot of freedom to do whatever you want behind the partner's back and you can easily lie about your wrongdoings. however, if you are loyal and honest, this problem won't occur. i have never been kissed before in my entire life, and i am currently in an ldr. i am waiting until i see my partner in real life so i can get my first kiss. it's really sappy, but a lot of people applaud me for not giving in when someone suggests playing a game of spin the bottle with me.

i think ldr's are pretty wonderful. all of the relationships i have been in were ldr's. its easier for me, surprisingly, to be in one. and i find it surprisingly, very rewarding.

 

[PastelVulpix]

Long distance relationships can work out great. It all depends how mature, strong willed, patient and dedicated you and your partner are. For example:

I was in a relationship with a boy a few years ago. He lived in Germany, and I live in Scotland. We were quite young at the time (I was about 17 and he was 20). We had initially met in person, in Scotland, through mutual friends and begun to see each other every weekend. Things were great, we went out on dates to the beach and always made sure we spent quality time when we seen each other. I would even go as far to say I loved him at the time. We had a relationship for about 7 months in Scotland. Until one day when he had to move with his mother back to Germany to go to university. We kept in contact via msn messenger (more popular at the time). However, the frequency of our chats / calls begun to rapidly decrease through a period of 3 months. I started to go out more to clubs and bars when I turned 18, and he always blew me off on msn apparently because he was "studying". However I noticed more girls were posting on his facebook and it seemed as if I was no longer part of his life. Because I was young, I moved on pretty fast and found new guys I was interested in etc. I suppose I was too young to be dedicated to a long distance relationship, and got easily bored.

On the other hand, my friend has been in a long distance relationship with his Australian girlfriend for 2 years now. She occasionally comes over to visit, and she should be getting a visa to live here soon. They both seem completely happy and content with each other. They've been skype-ing every night for those past 2 years and spend a lot of time working on electronic music projects together.

I wish you and your partner all the best ! And I'm sure you'll both work things out perfectly. Like you said, modern technology helps a lot with this type of relationship ~