Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

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Granted, but you just made a wish

I wish that i had over 9000 paper clips
 
Granted. However, as a trade-off, you'll be unable to use any over 9000 jokes with them.

I wish that the balls weren't inert.
 
Granted, and nothing bad happens.
...
Oh, except they come flying across the room and hit you in the face.

I wish I had a job already.
 
Granted, but you are a binman. Ah, not like you think, you are payed one fifth of the Minimum Wage to be a man shaped bin.

i wish it could never stop snowing, never be cold. never melt and never get snowed in.
 
Granted, but instead, they wish for an infinite amount of incorruptible wishes.

I wish I didn't miss my bus stop this evening.
 
Granted but your too early for your bus and it hits you and you die.

I wish for good surf at point leo ;)
 
Granted, but fear the dust as it turns your eyes brown!

I wish I was one of Lloyd Irving's friends.
 
But then you turn too manly for your liking and become incredibly depressed.

I wish I had a corrupt wish.
 
It turned out not to be a corrupt wish.

I wish I could travel back in time and to be on the Middle Ages for 3 days.
 
You can, and you do, but your three days end when you are violently murdered.

... I wish my lip would stop bleeding. *goes to wash my hands*
 
Granted but then your hand starts bleeding and you are unable to wash it.

I wish I could control the minds of others.
 
You can, but you can make them think about only one thing:

Laundry. :D They all become obsessed with washing clothes and have no time for you.

I wish my back didn't hurt.
 
Granted, but you become overly active, and die from exhaustion.

I wish I didn't drop my cell phone in the toilet.
 
Granted, but you drop it in the ocean instead.

I wish this was the last wish ever made.
 
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