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Make a wish and have it horribly corrupted

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Granted, You are a hobo that sits on the street!

I wish i had marshmallows!
 
Granted, but it was greedy and a picky eater.

I wish I was a master at ROM Hacking.
 
granted: You now own twelve acres of land that has a Hybrid Candy-Corn crop, Oh no, Its time to go harvest!

I wish that the wisest man in the world... with out any consuences like, 'You head Explodes.'
 
granted, but you decide to go become a hermit and live on a mountain somewhere and are forced to eat bugs

i wish i would achieve my goal soon
 
You didn't define "soon" ... to the wish-granting people, soon is in 75 years!

I wish that I had 10,000 dollars.
 
granted, it wishes you away instead

i wish pc werent so darn interesting. id like to get to sleep before sunrise this time.
 
granted, but you become bored, and turn your attention to dangerous and illegal activities

I wish porygon would come back in the anime...
 
Granted, but the episode had caused seizures to 1 million people, inculding you.
I wish you can watch banned episodes in English
 
Granted, but the SS(Secret Service) hunt you down to find out how you got them.

I wish that one of the Moniters for my PC would'nt break for once(This is the third one, IN TWO YEARS!).
 
granted. instead the hard drive crashes all the time.

i wish i were a pirate like my mom
 
granted, but its vegetarian bacon (yuk)

i wish i knew what a tourniquet was
 
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