I Laugh at your Misfortune!
Normal is a synonym for boring
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- YOUR MOTHER! (aka: England)
- Seen Aug 1, 2016
Great chapter, like always ;) the little lampshade hanging made me laugh a bit, I'll admit :P
Anyway, if you've noticed that there are hardly any grammar mistakes in this chapter, it's because my sister-in-law was kind enough to look it over and purge any she saw.
'There was' would probably be necessary. 'A pile of clothes in the corner, but other than that, it looked spotless' can't hold its own as a sentence, which is required for both parts of a semicolon.The floor was a bit messy; there was a pile of clothes in the corner, but other than that, it looked spotless.
The lampshading made me chuckle, but as far as lampshading goes 'it's like we're in a video game' is pretty common material.Seriously, it sounded like something from out of a stupid video game.
Ed's grip tightened on the Safari-Ball in his hand. "A Tauros!"
...and so on."There's no way you can capture a Tauros here unless you find it asleep or something."
It seemed to have finally gotten the notion to leave the trainers alone since it turned around and trotted away, its set tails flicking water behind it.
Thanks, Screw the rules, I have green hair! (Your name is certainly a mouthful). I love lampshade hangings! ;)Great chapter, like always the little lampshade hanging made me laugh a bit, I'll admit
Thanks for reading and reviewing, altaria221! I hope I don't disappoint you!Great chapter, i started reading about a week ago and can't wait for the next chapter, keep up the good work
Yeah, Leah does have a heart in there somewhere, but it's buried under all that snark. The brats may even be able to uncover it if they try hard enough. ;) And William is getting pretty awesome; I have no clue why I didn't like him when I introduced him.Hmm, this chapter was interesting. Leah does have a heart! And I still like William the best. I wonder what Pokemon it is...
Thanks, delongbi!None that I found.
I don't have much to say about this... as usual, good job! Keep it up!
*slaps self* Looks like I have a lot of editing to do.Taurus is a zodiac sign. Tauros is a Pokémon.
… I was going to say I misspelled 'six', but Tauros doesn't have six tails and now I'm all confused. <_<'Its set tails'? What does that mean?
Nope, the mystery Pokemon isn't a shiny or is even known to have a temper. Nice guess, though. And William is technically running a risk of getting caught, but I think he may be able to charm his way out of trouble since he was using his Squirtle in self-defense and had a ten-year-old kid with him.Will's 'not your regular Pokémon' sounds pretty interesting. Would it happen to be a Shiny Pokémon with a temper, judging from their discussion of Pokémon thieves earlier on? Anyway, this chapter was quite interesting. Fighting off the Tauros was done pretty well, but the only way that William could have brought in Squirtle was to sneak it in, because the Safari Zone people don't want Trainer's Pokémon harming the wild ones - and if he does that every time he goes into the Safari Zone, wouldn't he be running a risk there?
I'm guessing it's a "then" there. Also, kudos for the Nidorinos. I love Nidos, and I think they don't get enough love. Not even from the friggin games what with the infertility 'glitch'... OK I'm done ranting..."Than I can't catch Nidorino or anything strong?" Ed frowned.
Fun and creepy in one. Ditto was an interesting idea for a Pokémon to give Ed given that we're talkin' game battle mechanics here; let's see what it turns out to be like when Ed is to face a Pokémon he doesn't know....the Not-Sandshrew thing...
Oooohhh OTP!!! :D"Hey, Sands!" she called out, mimicking an urgent and serious tone. "Look!" Holding up his Fire Stone, she waved it in the air, watching Sands' eyes following the motion.
RaltsLeah mock gasped. "They have your Fire Stone, Sands! Get 'em!"
That was all that she needed to do.
Cue my childhood :cheeky:To her left, Ed was practically bouncing in his seat and he constantly leaned forward as much as the middle seatbelt allowed him to, just to keep asking the same annoying question:
"Are we there yet?"
Don't know you adults but that kinda sounded so wrong to me... :cheeky: Did you meant available instead? I guess no. I'm a bit dirty these days..."Is Koga open?" William asked the receptionist.
Yay! HG&SS Cameo!!!!!! +2 Mood EV pts for me!The woman grinned. "Dad's taking a water break."
An pronoun or adjective missing here, perhaps?Amber, who was keeping his distance, was only too happy to try to get rid of thing that was making that smell.
Nothing wrong here. It's just that I still remember a certain almost Wet Sari scene and how... challenging it seemed to read on in William's mind."You always go for the top?" William asked Leah, turning around.
"Yeah." Leah shrugged.
Some conjugation is missing here, it seems."You have proved your worth," Koga said dully, like it a line he used often.
They went inside, Mr. William holding the open for everyone.
"Dad's taking a water break."
Anyways, I'm curious; does anyone have any predictions for later chapters?
Oh, that sucks; I hope you feel better soon!Oh and one more thing... under normal circumstances I would have waited till next chapter to review, but I'm going to review right now! because I feel kinda sick and have been going around with doctors... for medical reasons... lately. Just in case.
Yeah, I quite like Nidos too. Not only do they evolve into the awesome Nidoking / Nidoqueen, but they can learn so many moves! And yeah, that stupid glitch can be annoying, especially when I want to breed my Nidoqueen. <_<I'm guessing it's a "then" there. Also, kudos for the Nidorinos. I love Nidos, and I think they don't get enough love. Not even from the friggin games what with the infertility 'glitch'... OK I'm done ranting...
Heh, I agree. I also still refer to him as the 'Ekans Kid', even if I've now revealed his name.Also we finally get the Ekans Kid's name, but for some reason I can't really care. He's still that Ekans Kid from he hill who runs away as soon as the battle turns a bit strange on him.
Leah would love it if that happened, but the Ekans Kid would run away faster than he usually does. You know, I completely forgot that trainers hand over money to the winner and I would have liked to put that in somewhere. *le sigh*One thing from the game mechanics I would have liked to see there was Ekans Kid giving half of his money to Leah for all these battles. I mean come on he's essentially battling her just out of lust to tire and annoy her and he's forfeiting all battles at the first scare!
Yeah, Leah's going to have to find a new...And now he's leaving? Leah's best and only form of diversion sans kicking Sands off from a hilltop has gone off to lands unknown... now maybe she's gonna take her Mentor work seriously.
Same here! I remember when I was little, I used to look up from my Gameboy Color and from the backseat of the car, ask, "Muuuum, are we there yet?" My parents were thankful that I eventually learned what patience meant and everyone lived happily ever after!Cue my childhood
Now after looking at it, I can see what you mean. Wow, I didn't spot that! Maybe I'm not as perverted as I thought I was! :DDon't know you adults but that kinda sounded so wrong to me... Did you meant available instead? I guess no. I'm a bit dirty these days...
Heh, okay, I'll be looked forward to your monthly-ish reviews! Thanks for reviewing!I hope to see more of this work since it's one of the few I am reading right now. I'll try and be reviewing every third or fifth chapter, that means next month most surely but don't despair, I'll keep reading this interesting love story!
Hi, delongbi! I hope your vacation was good! And yeah, sometimes everyone just decides not to review one week. It happens. *shrugs*Hullo! Was everyone on vacation or something last week? I found the lack of reviews very peculiar.
Ditto is rather low-leveled so only Pokemon right now. Maybe it will be able to transform into objects later. ;)Ditto was an interesting addition to Ed's team. Can Ditto transform into any person/thing/Pokemon, or just Pokemon, or some variation?
Haha! I see what you mean! And isn't that a weird mental image.The first time I read that, I thought pregnant? Then I reread it and realized the obvious meaning...
Heh, interesting theories you've got there, though I won't say anything to any of them. However, I will confirm that the Ekans Kid will return eventually. ;)Well, I am positive we have not seen the last of Danny. My theories about him are a) he is a psychic or is just particularly sympathetic of his Pokemon's feelings b) something is wrong with his Pokemon so if they get hurt too much, they blow up or something c) he's just a weird kid. Whatever the case, I'm sure he'll turn up somewhere.
I am sad that we'll be leaving William soon. For a while, I thought he might come along with the group, but now I'm convinced otherwise (but still hopeful). Leah needs someone to put her in her place sometimes.
I think Ed is going to win the battle (they've spent way too much time in Fuchsia already), but use his Ditto incorrectly, and I think they'll be going to Celadon next.
Thanks!And those are all of my predictions, for now. Keep up the good work!
"Congratulations," William said as Ally climbed onto the bleaches, taking a seat next to the older boy.
No one questioned it and the group walked out of the arena, Leah turning for a moment to give one last glance to Mr. William, before the door closed behind her with an ominous bang.
He knew how to deal with his brother, she didn't, especially when his mouth was moving a mile a minute.
Mr. Williams silence loomed
*winces* I'll fix it right away.Ooh, first line mistake. =P I think you meant bleachers. Bleach would be rather uncomfortable to climb onto.
Yeah, I see your point. The gym battle was a bit of a copout. I'll see to it that the next gym battle is a bit more believable. Though, just a small correction, Ed had Ditto for about a few days already, not a single one.I think you meant Mr. Williams (with an s). Also, I wonder what's up with him? Maybe he paid Koga or something to lose... The battle between the Venonat and the Ditto seemed a bit unbelievable. It seems unlikely for Ed to win when he: a) has had Ditto for only a day b) the Ditto was so beat up before it even got to attack.
Heh, yeah. A Leah and Ally only adventure would probably be pretty awkward without Ed to break the silence. And we'll see if Ed gets temporarily left behind or not. ;)It would be interesting to see Ally and Leah together without Ed, but I just cannot imagine you writing it that way. You've built up Ed's character too much to just drop him off the face of the earth (or wherever Pokemon are... you get the point).
"Guess you're not coming then," Leah said casually.
Leah can be a real bastard sometimes XD But always in an incredibly amusing way
"I think you should a doctor, Will," he commented, putting down his utensils. "You've been coughing a lot lately."