MewThree

[Charizard Maniac]

my first story dont hate me

Chapter 1 Pshycic Island

Mewtwo looked over his great community and smiled at first he had started with pokemon just like him clones copies but many others lived on his great island its name had come from the lord of it the most powerfull pokemon ever mewtwo although mewtwo had agreed to a truce with his arch mew his hatred for him grew ever more and sone he would hunt him endlessly until he was destroyed.

The fight that should have ended it all was stopped by a human a young trainer who was willing ot sacrifice himself for peace and this was the reason mewtwo had agreed to a truce mewtwo would not admit it but at that time his powers were only equal to mew but know after years of work bulding his pokemon community on this island he had time to enhance his pshycic abilites and know he knew a move not even mew could withstand.

 

[Charizard Maniac]

Chapter 2 Preparing the Team

Mewtwo was ready soon he would begin his hunt for mew but he would not go alone,Two of his pokemon would acompany him on the hunt but they would not be permitted to strike mew,So he would battle all his pokemon and choose the two best.

Arcanine let out a flamethrower mewtwo used psy sheild and blasted Arcanine with Psy Beam K.O him.Blastoise used hydro pump but mewtwo met it with psy beam then threw blastoise of his feet with psychic.

As you can tell these are the two pokemon Mewtwo chose.

 

[Lubricus]

Okay you have the right idea for a good story but you need to make the chapters longer and you have alot of grammar errors for example

Mewtwo was ready soon he would begin his hunt for mew, but he would not go alone. Two of his pokemon would acompany him on the hunt ,but they would not be permitted to strike mew mewtwo. So, hewould battle all his pokemon and choose the two best.

this is way to long of a sentence i have made changes in bold and ill help you more when you do more. You need to watch spelling and not making run on sentences. other then that good fic so far.

 

[Charizard Maniac]

Thx ill try and watch it from know on. P.S You can expect more chapters soon.

 

[Lubricus]

thats cool man itsyour first try and everyone has trouble.maybe instead of doing two short chapters do 1 long one it doesn't crowd the thtread as much.

 

[Charizard Maniac]

Chapter 3 M.T Blaze

Mewtwo, Arcanine and Blastoise set of on there long journey they headed to M.T Blaze to talk to Moltres the bird of Fire to see if it had seen Mew in the kingdom of the Fire Bird. They reached the base of the mountain and started climbing whne they got half way up they were attacked by two Macargo but Blastoise's Hydro Pump K.O them suddnely however a Rhydon sealed the entrance to the tunnels that lead to the top of the Mountain.

Mewtwo what shall we do said Arcanine if you were to blast through rhydon will build it up again.Then I will fly up there my self and talk to moltres I hope you understand and with that mewtwo sped up to the peak.

Moltres said Mewtwo when he reached the peak moltres had been facing the other way it turned round GYAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH cried moltres why do come here you are not welcome moltres unleashed a fire spin at mewtwo but he held out his hand and turned it back at moltres motres flew up and deodged but it wasnt quick enough to dodge Mewtwos Psy Beam GYAOOOOOOOOOOOOH moltres cried again as it fell on the ground and agian as it got up I shall fght on it said UGHHHHH but not know why do you come here Mewtwo

I Come to ask you if you have seen Mew around your kingdom. Mew your arch enemy never have i seen mew pass here not since the days before humans infested this world has mew came to my kingdom but perhaps my older brother Zapdos has seen him in the kingdom of the lightning bird.

Yes perhaps i will speak with Zapdos thank you Moltres.Mewtwo eturned to the foot of the Mountain where Arcanine and Blastoise awaited him. So said Arcanine is he here. No said Mewtwo but Moltres did say we should ask Zapdos well let us be on our way we must reach M.T Thunder soon.

 

[Lily]

This isn't a story; this is more like a summary. Such plot as your's requires dialogues, proper transitions and perhaps even a slight grammatical improvement?

 

[Careful With That Axe Pichu!]

Man... Is this a joke? Since I'm not to repeat what Lily said, just take in count this thread might be closed if it doesn't meet the standards of PFF, ones which although not being ridiculously strict, may be a bit of an impediment to you if you're to keep this story.

Remember to capitalize proper names, and it wouldn't hurt to make the chapters longer, instead of posting each one every hour. Make use of character and environment descriptions and also add dialogues, remember what quotation marks(") are for.

Best I could suggest now is to read the sticked topics on the Writer's Lounge. Take in count that if you continue with this writing manner I might have to close your thread, as it would be considered spam.

 

[Shinji_]

It's not bad for a first story.. Could be better like careful with that axe pichu said <_< Yea it's a long username, but yeaaa..anyways you should make your chapters a big longer

 

[Charizard Maniac]

thx for all your posts but ive decided tht i cant write about pokemon alone so if its possible could somebody close this thread.

 

[Careful With That Axe Pichu!]

I'm sorry to hear that, I hope that in the future you decide you can always write again & improve.

closed