Moon's Pokemon Adventure

Wingnut

Moon: 12 years and counting...
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    19
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    Okay, everyone. This is my second sprite comic, but the first to feature my character Moon. A little info on Moon: She's a cat-girl character whom I've been drawing and writing stories about for over 12 years (That's her in my Avatar).

    [PokeCommunity.com] Moon's Pokemon Adventure


    *Gwen is a bird-woman sorceress with whom Moon is staying in her backstory. Muffin is Moon's mouse-girl friend. I'll post up the story as soon as I can get it put online. I had it on a site a few years ago, but it was lost when they changed servers.

    So, anyone want to see more of my comic?
     
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    Totally funny, cute and original ^^ I'm looking forward to read more of your art;)
     
    Don't mix styles. And try reading other comments so the critics don't have to keep on saying the same thing over and over again. Work on your grammar a tad.
     
    I appreciate constructive criticism as much as the next artist, but I have to take exception to the grammar comment. If there's one thing I pride myself on, it's using proper grammar while typing (and in my real life, as well). That's something that's rarely done on internet forums.

    As far as mixing art styles? That's something I couldn't care less about. I put in what I like, and what works for the story I'm trying to tell. In the other web comic I did, the story revolved around a group of characters from several different games who traveled from game to game accomplishing tasks. Sort of like the old TV show Quantum Leap, or the comic book Exiles. I mixed so many art styles, you may have had a heart attack if you read it!

    Anyway, chapter two will be up shortly.
     
    [PokeCommunity.com] Moon's Pokemon Adventure

    [PokeCommunity.com] Moon's Pokemon Adventure


    Now I realize you can't catch Buneary in the Kanto region, but I'm taking certain liberties. It's my comic and I can do whatever I want, so nyah! :p
     
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    We're here to HELP you. Blatantly disregarding my advice >.<
    Not exactly entirely smart.

    Grammar:
    Weakend. (Weakened?)
    Where can I get me a Pokemon? (Where can I get myself a Pokemon?)

    You don't need to show all of Route 1 for comic 2. You just need a small panel to get the point across.

    Some of us take comics a tad seriously. Sorry. So.. NYAH!
     
    Okay, I didn't realize I spelled weakened wrong. My mistake. I'm actually a very picky person when it comes to spelling (I won the spelling bee in 10th grade for crying out loud!). So much so that I will probably go back and fix that. Thank you for being specific. However, I fully realize "Where can I get me a Pokemon?" is not grammatically correct. Not everyone speaks gramatically correct, though. Most people use slang or improper english all the time. I just want to convey a sense of real dialogue.

    Also, I appreciate you pointing out the thing about route 1. I probably didn't need to use the whole map and I will keep that in mind with future installments. I don't want you to think I'm not listening to the criticism...

    *Edit* Fixed the spelling error in Comic 1
     
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    Wingnut said:
    As far as mixing art styles? That's something I couldn't care less about. I put in what I like, and what works for the story I'm trying to tell. In the other web comic I did, the story revolved around a group of characters from several different games who traveled from game to game accomplishing tasks. Sort of like the old TV show Quantum Leap, or the comic book Exiles. I mixed so many art styles, you may have had a heart attack if you read it!
    Click to expand...
    I can see where you're coming from, but that was part of the joke for that strip, since they're all meant to be out of place. It's not suited for this strip. And besides, it wouldn't take much effort to change them to the more pretty, FRLG style ^^

    Anyway, it seems kinda funny, so I'm looking forward to seeing more.
     
    Wingnut said:
    [PokeCommunity.com] Moon's Pokemon Adventure

    [PokeCommunity.com] Moon's Pokemon Adventure


    Now I realize you can't catch Buneary in the Kanto region, but I'm taking certain liberties. It's my comic and I can do whatever I want, so nyah! :p
    Click to expand...

    ROFL, the angry Buneary is hilarious.
     
    Here to review your comic. Lets list the stuff that bugs me.

    1. Mixing styles. It wouldn't be hard to stick with one style all the way, and editing your sprite in FRLG form will make it look so much better.

    2. Grammer and Spelling. I see one spelling mistake, which is pretty good for someone's first comic (Right?). This has already been pointed out by Angel Of Twilight.

    3. Frames. You do not need to label your frames with numbers. Simple rules are that you read left to right and then to next row - we are not too stupid.
    Also, the frames are a little big, and in some comics they are inconsistent and look weird with one little frame, then one big frame (If you catch my drift) as the comic.

    4. Links. Think about putting all your comics in Links in the first post, and maybe include a "Latest Comic" section.

    5. Don't take crit so offensively. Enough said.
     
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    Part 3 is up!

    [PokeCommunity.com] Moon's Pokemon Adventure


    *EDIT* Thank you for the advice. I wasn't sure about numbering the frames, so I'll refrain from doing that in future episodes. Also, I'll go ahead and do the comic by links like you suggested. I have lots of ideas and I hope people are interested in seeing more! The only question I have is the mention of editing my sprite in FR/LG form. Which sprite are you referring to? I want to make my comic really stand out, so any advice is appreciated.
     
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    Wingnut said:
    *EDIT* Thank you for the advice. I wasn't sure about numbering the frames, so I'll refrain from doing that in future episodes. Also, I'll go ahead and do the comic by links like you suggested. I have lots of ideas and I hope people are interested in seeing more! The only question I have is the mention of editing my sprite in FR/LG form. Which sprite are you referring to? I want to make my comic really stand out, so any advice is appreciated.
    Click to expand...


    Probably change Moon's sprite to FRLG. Thank you for taking the advice the right way. Later.
     
    Matt Silver: I'd like to know why you'd find it alright to be unnecessarily abrasive in this post. There's no need for exaggeration, especially when your post is prone to hurting the feelings of others. Don't do it again.
     
    One question about the 3rd part: where did she get the pokeball from?
     
    R.A.M. said:
    One question about the 3rd part: where did she get the pokeball from?
    Click to expand...

    The helpful guy in Pallet town gave her some in the first episode(Panel 3). I'll have the next episode up in a bit. Thanks for the comments, all!
     
    This is so funny, and the spriting is pretty good too <3
    Keep up the good work
     
    I still don't understand why the Buneary started crying. It just.. started crying? Further explanation please.
     
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