I think you're doing great for a starter, the idea seems creative which is good, about the art itself I don't know what particular style you're going for but I'd say to try lifting your pencil more (your lines seem to be very continuous) it helps getting the lines more accurately to what you want and makes the drawing pop out more I guess ?
And draw lighter (I don't know if it's just the pencil that is dark or if you actually applied lot of pressure to it) not only makes it easier to correct mistakes but it also helps not putting too much strain on your hand and wrist (it will pay off the long way trust me you do not want wrist pain)
Also instead of using the plain camera try to either edit your photos in an app or scan them with something like camscanner, a good quality photo makes your drawings look a lot better ^ ^
Hope it helps, feel free to take in or ignore whatever I said tho, everyone has their own way of doing things and in art there is no "correct" one : 3