My poems- Once again XD

Thanks!
I'm only good at writing depressing poems XD
 
To follow what everyone said..... they're really good XD. I know how it is to write poetry while depressed (for some reason they seem to be my best work when I feel that way), so I can relate.

Nicely done all around, my only complaint is that you should post more ^^'.
 
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Thankies! I have another ^^

The Curse of Hate

For all my life I?ve been pursued,
By something which should have not been heard,
My life has been sealed, with this fate,
I posses the curse, the curse of hate.
I try to run, I try to hide,
But it always finds me,
And burns me inside.
I want to cry, to fade away
But hate hasn?t taught me to feel pain
Why cant people respect me the way I am,
For I cannot lift the curse, of which I have.
But maybe one day they will see,
The person I am, and always will be.
I dream of a place, where I belong,
Where I can finally get along.
But I wonder if this vision can be made real,
This place where I can finally heal
But if it cant, I want to make,
This world I live in, a better place,
But how can I help, with my unheard voice,
I wish I could finally, make a choice,
But for now I live on, behind this blackened gate,
I posses the curse, the curse of hate.
 
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You should write music for that last "song-bit" in the first post. It sounds cool~
 
Thankies JA! I Hope to, but I need a bit of help in how long the Stanzas should be ^^
 
You don't need advice! Just go with the flow. :P
 
Okay, I'l think about it in math ^^ XD
 
Wow, Eli. ^___________^ Those are really good.

I agree with JA. ^_~ You should make a song out of the last piece on your first post. I love it. I'm hoping to read some more of your work some time soon!

~Karli
 
^^ Thanks! I've been spending math classes on it xD yet I'm a bit stuck >>;;
heres one:

(Unamed)

Clouds of violet, streak the golden sky,
For the sun is setting, nights on the rise.
The stars come out, dancing through the night,
The moon glows, with all her might.
Dawn appears, for day is close,
The sun is creeping out, as the river flows.
And the clouds, so far away,
To reach them, would take countless days,
But just to watch them, passing by,
Passing by, until the end of time.

Then I had one for the play 2 nights ago, which the director promptly said no to. xD lesse if I can remember it:

The Storm

I walked upon, the dampened path,
And then I saw the wonders of natures wrath.
Rain shot down, the winds roar,
Lightning and thunder, in an eternal war.
I thought the sun had vanished, into a black abyss,
Her light, warmth, and glorious bliss.
I looked up, full of dread,
I saw blue skies, with clouds scattering overhead.
And at the end of the road,
I saw a glowing rainbow.
Colors of every hue and shade,
Could be seen in that rainbow that day.
I learnt a lesson, as I walked by,
That things could turn bright again, even in the darkest time.

Thats how I remember it. The end is different, I'l bring it home from school tommorow ^^
 
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Thanks! ^^ yeah, you really should! I'l go look for the rest of mine,but unfortunately, since I write in a ton of spiral notebooks, they get lost xD
 
Heres the start of one:
The moon shines, across the emerald glade,
Reflecting of the silver lake,
In this place, a myth is told,
Of a dragon with a crown of gold..

----
>< what I want to do with it is describe the dragon with precious gems (For Example- Wings of crystal etc.) But I'm having trouble getting it to rhyme ><
 
Eliana said:
Heres the start of one:
The moon shines, across the emerald glade,
Reflecting of the silver lake,
In this place, a myth is told,
Of a dragon with a crown of gold..

----
>< what I want to do with it is describe the dragon with precious gems (For Example- Wings of crystal etc.) But I'm having trouble getting it to rhyme ><
Click to expand...

I think it's a very good start, Eli. ^^
But the second line...it bothers me..."Reflecting of the silver lake", unless you meant 'of' to be 'off', then I can see your reasoning. ^^

"Of a dragon with a crown of gold..." is a really good piece to this stanza. It seems like this poem will be a very descriptive and captivating poem.

Narrative poems are very wonderful, for they are the ones that tell stories (my personal favorite). ^___^ So I do hope you keep working with this one, I'd love to see this finished product. ^^

~Kelsey
 
Oh dear I didnt mean write across XP If ya could give me ideas, I'd be really appriciative ^^
 
OK, maybe tell of how the dragon is like a king over an ancient empire. Then have him in some epic battle to fight for his life, or to keep the rule over his land or something. ^^ A narrative poem can be as long as you'd like. In fact, The Lay of the Lake, by Sir Walter Scott is about 300 stanzas. ^^;

But I don't expect you to make yours that long, Eli. XDXD

~Kelsey
 
XD I made more! XD

The moon shines, across the emerald glade,
Reflecting off the silver lake,
In this place, a myth is told,
Of a dragon with a crown of gold.
Wings of crystal, smooth as glass,
Which stretch across the dewy grass.
Bearing fire, with a ruby glow,
Scales of sapphire, blue as the water below.
Eyes of jade, cold as ice,
Roar like thunder, in the skies.

>.< I suck at making endings....xD well, I found the poem I was looking for...I was inspired by a really horrid sight I saw:

Bus 13

I saw that bus, a horrid sight,
Of death, of chaos, and great fright.
Its colors, green and white,
Which once shone bright,
Now peeled of from the blast,
And with it, from the window panes, shattered glass.
The only thing left, a rusted shell,
And I realized that these people never came out of this burning hell.
The people, innocent lives,
Taken by evil, with its knives.
I cry for them, tears of blood.
They didnt have to die, but evil should.
But now I sit and think empty thoughts,
And think about what life really costs.
I will never forget that scene,
That bombed bus, bus 13.
 
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Eliana said:
XD I made more! XD

The moon shines, across the emerald glade,
Reflecting off the silver lake,
In this place, a myth is told,
Of a dragon with a crown of gold.
Wings of crystal, smooth as glass,
Which stretch across the dewy grass.
Bearing fire, with a ruby glow,
Scales of sapphire, blue as the water below.
Eyes of jade, cold as ice,
Roar like thunder, in the skies.

>.< I suck at making endings....xD well, I found the poem I was looking for...I was inspired by a really horrid sight I saw:

Bus 13

I saw that bus, a horrid sight,
Of death, of chaos, and great fright.
Its colors, green and white,
Which once shone bright,
Now peeled of from the blast,
And with it, from the window panes, shattered glass.
The only thing left, a rusted shell,
And I realized that these people never came out of this burning hell
The people, innocent lives,
Taken by evil, with its knives.
I cry for them, tears of blood.
They didnt have to die, the terrorists should.
But now I sit and think empty thoughts,
And think about what life really costs.
I will never forget that scene,
That bombed bus, bus 13.
Click to expand...

OK, for the first poem, I have one suggestion first. ^o^
Roar like thunder, in the skies. You may want to try "With a roar like thunder in the skies." It just flows a bit better. ^________^

I really liked that part of the poem. Are you finished with it already Eli? =3 Anyways, the poem gives you a great picture of a mighty and even malevolent dragon. It kind of makes me think of Lugia. <3 I really like the descriptions, Eli, and the flow to your poem is done neatly. ^^

Now, onto Bus 13. This poem was so sad! It makes one think of a green and white bus, casually striding down the highway, when all of a suden the bus is up in flames. All the people have died, it would truly be a horrifying sight. ;-;

It really shows how precious life is, and it could end in a second. That's why it's improtant to live every moment of life to its fullest. ^___^

Awsome poems Eli, they were of pure shweetness. XD *glomps*

~Kelsey
 
Naw, I said its gonna take me a while to finish it. XD actually, I do have a poem about Lugia, I can post it but its a different rhyming scheme, and it didnt work xD

Well, I didnt see it blow up itself. They were bringing the bus after it was blown up all around the world, in attempt to stop anti-semetism...
 
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